Class of February 2013 Part 11
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
So happy your back fantail! Sounds like you've found an amazing group too. So happy that things are coming together.
Wehav - Your stream of conscious is poetic! Thank you for sharing. When I was actively drinking, I knew that I did it to cope with my unmanageable stress. Stress that I put on myself, of course! It took me a good while to realize that what was underneath my drinking was that I didn't love or accept myself - hence all the 'achievement.' 30 years of mindset is hard to change overnight! I still like to achieve, but it isn't my armor anymore.
V & Dee - I'm officially in your backyard now: Indonesia!!! It's my first time here - now in Java and we plan to make our way east.
In other news - no joke, but my laptop spontaneously caught on fire during the flight from Istanbul to Jakarta! Thank goodness I've fried a few boards before in the lab so I knew exactly what was happening and removed the power source right away and caught it before it really got going. I couldn't tell anyone that there was a fire b/c I didn't want to start a panic on a plane. What timing though! Anyway, it's off to the repair shop so I'm doing a digital detox for 10+ days.
Hugs!!!
Wehav - Your stream of conscious is poetic! Thank you for sharing. When I was actively drinking, I knew that I did it to cope with my unmanageable stress. Stress that I put on myself, of course! It took me a good while to realize that what was underneath my drinking was that I didn't love or accept myself - hence all the 'achievement.' 30 years of mindset is hard to change overnight! I still like to achieve, but it isn't my armor anymore.
V & Dee - I'm officially in your backyard now: Indonesia!!! It's my first time here - now in Java and we plan to make our way east.
In other news - no joke, but my laptop spontaneously caught on fire during the flight from Istanbul to Jakarta! Thank goodness I've fried a few boards before in the lab so I knew exactly what was happening and removed the power source right away and caught it before it really got going. I couldn't tell anyone that there was a fire b/c I didn't want to start a panic on a plane. What timing though! Anyway, it's off to the repair shop so I'm doing a digital detox for 10+ days.
Hugs!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
Hi guys -
This week has been hard and I'm having a tough time right now. Not risk of drinking, just risk of crying (which is a good thing)
I've been stuck in Yogyakarta for the past week. No one is taking responsibility for my laptop - not apple, not insurance, not the benefits of my credit card. It will be close to 2k to replace it, which I don't have. I've been feeling sick from bad food almost the whole week. There were rats in my hotel - I went to the bathroom at night and one was staring at me from the shower (yes I changed hotels - But I have a cancellation fee!) And my partner just told me that he tired of traveling and wants to go home in 2 weeks - which is a big emotional adjustment for me to do while I'm feeling down anyways. It's just a low moment when I want to throw in the towel too, question my relationship, etc. But I know I really actually don't, so I am just feeling sad.
Ah the downside of travel.
I'm starting to feel better already though - seeing all that typed out helps me to see that 'I got this'
Hope you guys are having a better week of it!
This week has been hard and I'm having a tough time right now. Not risk of drinking, just risk of crying (which is a good thing)
I've been stuck in Yogyakarta for the past week. No one is taking responsibility for my laptop - not apple, not insurance, not the benefits of my credit card. It will be close to 2k to replace it, which I don't have. I've been feeling sick from bad food almost the whole week. There were rats in my hotel - I went to the bathroom at night and one was staring at me from the shower (yes I changed hotels - But I have a cancellation fee!) And my partner just told me that he tired of traveling and wants to go home in 2 weeks - which is a big emotional adjustment for me to do while I'm feeling down anyways. It's just a low moment when I want to throw in the towel too, question my relationship, etc. But I know I really actually don't, so I am just feeling sad.
Ah the downside of travel.
I'm starting to feel better already though - seeing all that typed out helps me to see that 'I got this'
Hope you guys are having a better week of it!
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Ugh, I'm sorry. When travel gets rough it really is rough... good for you keeping perspective and feeling what needs to be felt and all that. Whatever happens next I'm sure you'll come out stronger for it. And eventually maybe you'll win a round of travel crisis stories!! If your partner goes home, do you think you'll go as well, or keep traveling?
If your partner goes home, do you think you'll go as well, or keep traveling?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
Thanks guys for your words of support. Poor internet is keeping from replying.
I'm doing better now. We left Yogyakarta with my dead laptop - 12 days later no progress, but I'm adapting to not having laptop. Taking it easy in Bali now - I am down with traveller stomach. Fiancé is going to stay 1 week longer to give me time to mentally prep for him leaving - the extra week helps me transition quite a bit. Yes I will continue solo
Feeling much better now. I will check in again when I have better connection.
Hugs to you all!!!!!
I'm doing better now. We left Yogyakarta with my dead laptop - 12 days later no progress, but I'm adapting to not having laptop. Taking it easy in Bali now - I am down with traveller stomach. Fiancé is going to stay 1 week longer to give me time to mentally prep for him leaving - the extra week helps me transition quite a bit. Yes I will continue solo
Feeling much better now. I will check in again when I have better connection.
Hugs to you all!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
It's called Bali Belly Serene my love ~ dang, not fun. Hope you are feeling better.
2k to fix or replace your laptop? Why love? Is it a Mac? That's the only thing I can think of...hope it's getting sorted.
996 days is awesome, so happy for you.
fantail...hi love, and to mel and wehav and Dee of course. ♥
2k to fix or replace your laptop? Why love? Is it a Mac? That's the only thing I can think of...hope it's getting sorted.
996 days is awesome, so happy for you.
fantail...hi love, and to mel and wehav and Dee of course. ♥
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
Bali belly
We have a similar thing with Mexico called Montezuma's revenge. Today i am feeling much better and I think by tomorrow I will have kicked it!
I spent my 1000 day in bed feeling dizzy, nauseous etc. i realized that i used to spend 1 - 2 days a week in bed recovering from alcohol just like this! Plus shame, guilt, etc. I definitely don't want to ever go back.!
Yes, my computer is a fully loaded Mac - I need the high end fast hardware to do my design work - I think that is partly why it caught on fire.
Good to hear from you V. How is your week going?
We have a similar thing with Mexico called Montezuma's revenge. Today i am feeling much better and I think by tomorrow I will have kicked it!
I spent my 1000 day in bed feeling dizzy, nauseous etc. i realized that i used to spend 1 - 2 days a week in bed recovering from alcohol just like this! Plus shame, guilt, etc. I definitely don't want to ever go back.!
Yes, my computer is a fully loaded Mac - I need the high end fast hardware to do my design work - I think that is partly why it caught on fire.
Good to hear from you V. How is your week going?
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Oh Serene, I really really shouldn't laugh about you being on a plane with your computer catching fire, trying desperately to make sure the flight attendants don't see....no one noticed? Didn't it smell?
I know, it's not funny. It's lucky that you acted so fast, and knew what you were doing. I do not know anything about motherboards. Not even why they are called that...now I need to look it up.
My nephew has a double degree in design and engineering (like you) so I think I know the Mac you use...what's happening with the insurance? Any chance they will cover you at all?
Glad you are feeling better, and my week is not-too-bad. Which is an improvement from the last few, so I am not complaining.
Saturday afternoon, lovely day, and I am thinking about dinner and what shows I am going to watch tonight.
I know, it's not funny. It's lucky that you acted so fast, and knew what you were doing. I do not know anything about motherboards. Not even why they are called that...now I need to look it up.
My nephew has a double degree in design and engineering (like you) so I think I know the Mac you use...what's happening with the insurance? Any chance they will cover you at all?
Glad you are feeling better, and my week is not-too-bad. Which is an improvement from the last few, so I am not complaining.
Saturday afternoon, lovely day, and I am thinking about dinner and what shows I am going to watch tonight.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Glad you're feeling better, Serene!
I just did a weekend meditation retreat. I'm really pleased with the experience. We did hours and hours at a time... I feel like a pro now. It definitely got to where an hour feels easy, so hopefully now I'll be able to do 20 minutes or so a day without feeling so put upon.
Which shows did you end up with, V?
I just did a weekend meditation retreat. I'm really pleased with the experience. We did hours and hours at a time... I feel like a pro now. It definitely got to where an hour feels easy, so hopefully now I'll be able to do 20 minutes or so a day without feeling so put upon.
Which shows did you end up with, V?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Hey girls,
Serene sorry about you computer and sickness, found it especially poignant how you spent your 1000 day. Wanted to make a note of how hard it is to travel with a loved one. I've know my husband for 10 years and we've pretty much figured out each other by now but we still get into rediculous fights when traveling. How much longer do you have planned to travel?
Fan- so glad to hear things are falling into place for you!
V- how's everything with you? Shows and a dinner on a Saturday night sounds like things are going well
Not too much to report- took the baby to San Fran for my brothers Chinese wedding banquet (his new wife is half chinese) it was such Ana amazing banquet- 10 courses! And San Fran was so much fun but I never want to take an infant on a plane by myself again!
Serene sorry about you computer and sickness, found it especially poignant how you spent your 1000 day. Wanted to make a note of how hard it is to travel with a loved one. I've know my husband for 10 years and we've pretty much figured out each other by now but we still get into rediculous fights when traveling. How much longer do you have planned to travel?
Fan- so glad to hear things are falling into place for you!
V- how's everything with you? Shows and a dinner on a Saturday night sounds like things are going well
Not too much to report- took the baby to San Fran for my brothers Chinese wedding banquet (his new wife is half chinese) it was such Ana amazing banquet- 10 courses! And San Fran was so much fun but I never want to take an infant on a plane by myself again!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Congratulations Serene on breaking through the 1000 day mark- that is truly amazing- well done!
Good to see some familiar names here, you were my first team and always will have a special place in my heart, as for me? Well I'm nowhere near the 1000day mark but am now 17weeks/120days and nearly 4months sober, so this is my pb sobriety duration! (since the age of 15 that is!)
Take care all.
Good to see some familiar names here, you were my first team and always will have a special place in my heart, as for me? Well I'm nowhere near the 1000day mark but am now 17weeks/120days and nearly 4months sober, so this is my pb sobriety duration! (since the age of 15 that is!)
Take care all.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Oh 1stepup, that is AWESOME LOVE!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS, and to you too Serene.
I am a week away from 1 year...so that's good too.
How wonderful to have this group posting together again....you know my Februbuddies have a very special place in my heart.
The meditation sounds awesome fantail, and wow mel, you took Clark on the plane by yourself? I thought your husband was with you....or is this now the second wedding this gorgeous little boy has been to?
CONGRATULATIONS, and to you too Serene.
I am a week away from 1 year...so that's good too.
How wonderful to have this group posting together again....you know my Februbuddies have a very special place in my heart.
The meditation sounds awesome fantail, and wow mel, you took Clark on the plane by yourself? I thought your husband was with you....or is this now the second wedding this gorgeous little boy has been to?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
Hi everyone!
Its soo awesome to log in and see updates from everyone!!!! I've missed you guys.
Fantail - Lovely to hear about your retreat and meditation practice. I understand that meditation is one of the truly life changing practices. 1 hour is really amazing. Are you back now in 'real life'? Have you tried to do 20 mins like you had hoped? How are you in general?
Mel - Thanks for your words of support. Things are going much better now, but I'm preparing for fiance to leave in 4 days, so I'll have another dip in a bit. One good thing about recovery is now I CAN figure out what's really going on with me which is a game changer in terms of resiliency. Well, most of the time at least. So happy you got to hang out in SF. The buffet sounds amazing. I'm taking notes for when we start our family. Is your brother getting married soon?
1step - Congrats on 4+months. I recall that period being a tough yet really rewarding period. Proud of you for keeping at it AND for reaching your personal best. Thanks for checking in too. What's been working well for you this time to help you reach your pb?
V - Yes, I was thankful that I could get it out (and have confidence that I got it out) before it became a real issue. Turns out indonesia is not an apple country. My insurance has been a pain, etc. So after 15 days of not getting anywhere doing things 'the right way', I finally opened up the back myself and did a little surgery and got is working. It's on life support, and I disconnect the internal power supply each time I'm not actively using to prevent a repeat incident. But I can do basic email, and that is getting me by. I guess we find a way to get what we need.
Hi Dee - How have you been feeling lately?
My update - We are wrapping up 'spur the moment honeymoon.' We've had a lovely time diving in the gilis for the past 10 days. I asked partner to stay another week, and since one of his goals was to learn to dive, we quickly put that plan into action. I just finished my advanced underwater today and saw a 1.5 meter shark swimming by. IT WAS SO COOL! He takes off in 4 days. I am not sure what I will do after that - maybe head to China b/c the haze is so terrible in SE asia. I haven't had internet to figure out what plan is feasible. But I'm in good spirits again and know that I can figure it out. Right now I'm just going to enjoy the last few days together relaxing on a beach.
Hugs!!!
Its soo awesome to log in and see updates from everyone!!!! I've missed you guys.
Fantail - Lovely to hear about your retreat and meditation practice. I understand that meditation is one of the truly life changing practices. 1 hour is really amazing. Are you back now in 'real life'? Have you tried to do 20 mins like you had hoped? How are you in general?
Mel - Thanks for your words of support. Things are going much better now, but I'm preparing for fiance to leave in 4 days, so I'll have another dip in a bit. One good thing about recovery is now I CAN figure out what's really going on with me which is a game changer in terms of resiliency. Well, most of the time at least. So happy you got to hang out in SF. The buffet sounds amazing. I'm taking notes for when we start our family. Is your brother getting married soon?
1step - Congrats on 4+months. I recall that period being a tough yet really rewarding period. Proud of you for keeping at it AND for reaching your personal best. Thanks for checking in too. What's been working well for you this time to help you reach your pb?
V - Yes, I was thankful that I could get it out (and have confidence that I got it out) before it became a real issue. Turns out indonesia is not an apple country. My insurance has been a pain, etc. So after 15 days of not getting anywhere doing things 'the right way', I finally opened up the back myself and did a little surgery and got is working. It's on life support, and I disconnect the internal power supply each time I'm not actively using to prevent a repeat incident. But I can do basic email, and that is getting me by. I guess we find a way to get what we need.
Hi Dee - How have you been feeling lately?
My update - We are wrapping up 'spur the moment honeymoon.' We've had a lovely time diving in the gilis for the past 10 days. I asked partner to stay another week, and since one of his goals was to learn to dive, we quickly put that plan into action. I just finished my advanced underwater today and saw a 1.5 meter shark swimming by. IT WAS SO COOL! He takes off in 4 days. I am not sure what I will do after that - maybe head to China b/c the haze is so terrible in SE asia. I haven't had internet to figure out what plan is feasible. But I'm in good spirits again and know that I can figure it out. Right now I'm just going to enjoy the last few days together relaxing on a beach.
Hugs!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Originally Posted by SereneEdition 
I've finally got internet again!!! Woot Woot!
Congratulations on 1 year Venus!!!!:
I am so proud of you!!!!! Are you doing anything special in observation? Hugs!
Congratulations on 1 year Venus!!!!:
I am so proud of you!!!!! Are you doing anything special in observation? Hugs!
Thank you so much my beautiful friend! ♥
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Venus!! Congratulations!!
Wow, that is so huge. Let's see that quilt! That's such a perfect choice for a sobriety gift to yourself... something to keep you warm and safe.
1stepup, we're sober buddies again! I'm about two weeks behind you. 107 days today.
Serene, so excited for you and your trip. I haven't yet learned how to scuba dive, and I have to admit I'm a little afraid of it, but it's on my bucket list. I think it'll be especially amazing for me because I'm afraid of it. Maybe that'll be my sobriety anniversary gift one of these years! China is fascinating. It's so amazing to be in another large, world superpower country. And their culture is so completely different than the US.
I'm doing very well. I haven't been meditating
but I've been very busy in a good way. I just built my first full website... it's Wordpress, but very customized, and I'm proud of it. I presented it to our non-profit's board last night, and impressed some very well connected VIPs. My food coop job has been taking the rest of my time, because although I'm part-time, training was full-time. But now it'll be 3 days coop, 2 days non-profit, so I'll have a reasonable schedule again.
I have to "tell my story" at AA tomorrow night, at a small women's meeting. And then again in November at a "commitment" at an inpatient place for teenagers with eating disorders (not sure why exactly they get AA, maybe there's overlap? doing it as a favor for a friend). I've never done AA before, so I didn't realize there was this thing where people pressure you to tell your story after 90 days. I mean, it's friendly pressure. But I want to keep doing the program and I'm willing to entertain the idea that it'll be good for me somehow, so, ok. But it's nerve-wracking. I don't even know how to summarize it all. As in, which narrative thread do you choose? How do you trace it back? There are so many stories inside the big story.
Wow, that is so huge. Let's see that quilt! That's such a perfect choice for a sobriety gift to yourself... something to keep you warm and safe.
1stepup, we're sober buddies again! I'm about two weeks behind you. 107 days today.
Serene, so excited for you and your trip. I haven't yet learned how to scuba dive, and I have to admit I'm a little afraid of it, but it's on my bucket list. I think it'll be especially amazing for me because I'm afraid of it. Maybe that'll be my sobriety anniversary gift one of these years! China is fascinating. It's so amazing to be in another large, world superpower country. And their culture is so completely different than the US.
I'm doing very well. I haven't been meditating
but I've been very busy in a good way. I just built my first full website... it's Wordpress, but very customized, and I'm proud of it. I presented it to our non-profit's board last night, and impressed some very well connected VIPs. My food coop job has been taking the rest of my time, because although I'm part-time, training was full-time. But now it'll be 3 days coop, 2 days non-profit, so I'll have a reasonable schedule again.I have to "tell my story" at AA tomorrow night, at a small women's meeting. And then again in November at a "commitment" at an inpatient place for teenagers with eating disorders (not sure why exactly they get AA, maybe there's overlap? doing it as a favor for a friend). I've never done AA before, so I didn't realize there was this thing where people pressure you to tell your story after 90 days. I mean, it's friendly pressure. But I want to keep doing the program and I'm willing to entertain the idea that it'll be good for me somehow, so, ok. But it's nerve-wracking. I don't even know how to summarize it all. As in, which narrative thread do you choose? How do you trace it back? There are so many stories inside the big story.
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