obosob

Hi all....
6 weeks.back in oz is over.
Back to hk tomorrow.
Flight causing me grief again.

Ive watched quite a bit of robin williams on youtube. Very sad story...

Hope all the fools are well...

I realise im late with the next installment......
It will be worth it!!!!!

Stay tuned..

ChickChick

Hi all. Just checking in real quick. Day 13 here, I am so glad to be almost back to 2 weeks! Last night I did a SMART online meeting, I think I will keep that up. I hadn't really added anything different to what I was doing this time. My computer is having issues and won't let me hit the return button, so please excuse me for typing this as one big paragraph! I am very saddened by Robin Williams passing, the boys and I have watched Hook and Jumunji the past two nights. I am up early making donughts on the boys request. Feels good to be up sober in the mornings again. Solil, I am having the same pause about my youngest to go to kindergarten next week, I'm not ready and he has been saying that he wants to stay home with me. I know that he will have a great time though. He didn't do pre K either, none of my kids did. I think as long as you spend time reading to them they will be just fine going into K. After 1/2 a year of K for my daughter we decided to pull her out and homeschool her because of things that were going on at school. I think that it was good that we gave it a try. But know that sending her doesn't mean that you have settle for that if you both are unhappy. Try it out, give it some time and if it doesn't work do something different. Just my 2 cents. Congrats on 123 days now Up! I'm so proud of you all! Hope you all have a wonderful day!!

topspin

Obo,
I seldom fly, to offer any helpful hints ( outside of visualizing the A gang , with Izzy next to ya ...like the flight over ) .....seriously , hope you're flight schedule is as smooth as possible.

Chick , .... heard great things about those Smart meetings, ....I think it's wonderful you're getting involved.
Totally agree with the; .... mornings + sobriety= feels good !

Rocks,
I think you're idea of getting involved with a group or something when you return next week is a good one. Either way, you've got a great foothold these past two months. Like your holiday comparison, it will be fascinating to see how your current semester improves with your continued sobriety !?

Kelly, ....I should probably know what a *staycation* is. It sounds guessable though .
How many days you have coming ?

I have to protect myself a little from the wall to wall news coverage. Sometimes the competition for viewership between channels brings me down.
Truthfully, ..ever since I disconnected my tv cable 5 months ago, I feel better. Still have access at work, ,,,,.......that's how I noticed my mood dropping noticeably when I watch a little.

Even outside of such heartbreaking news as what's been airing.

This smokin' hot jungle weather finally broke last night , and it's a cool 80* and sunny right now !! Only forecasted 89 today !! And the humidity has dropped thru the floor to 82% ,,.....Love cool weather like this !?!
......maybe it's the AC I'm feelin' !

Freein, ...it may be a good day for a short ride around here, ....my back is still a little tender from driving a shovel those few days. What a little wimp ., right !??

Happy hump day y'all !!

kellyg

Hey Fools - I have to say that I was super depressed yesterday. A combination of work (crazy bosses who think everything revolves around them), my inability to get a new job let alone an interview, my weight, and yes Robin Williams death. I've struggled with depression for many many years. Ever since I was 8 or 9. I was clinically depressed about 5 years ago and it was horrible. Everything just came to a head yesterday. I was ready to walk out of my job, go buy a bottle of vodka, go home and barricade myself in my bedroom. I am such a mess. I keep thinking if RW, someone who has everything (at least outwardly), thinks suicide is the only way out, then what does that mean for someone like me? His death brings home to me how easily depression (what I fight EVERY DAY) can lead you to such a dark place that you feel that you have nothing, even when you have everything.

Sorry if my ramblings are a bit depressing Will try to make my next post brighter

Lucrezia

Two weeks here. Just checking in.

Adnamaeel

Kelly, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now. This death is hitting a lot of people really hard, and it's incomprehensible to a lot of us how someone who seems to have everything could descend into such deep despair. The operative word here is seems, though. He had money and success, but really those are just outward trappings, and desirable as they are, they don't bring happiness or contentment. Living is hard on just about everyone, that he reached the limit of his willingness to continue doesn't really mean anything for someone like you, or for any of the rest of us. We know nothing of his internal torment, his family situation, his physical or mental health issues. We don't know if he was on anti-depressants, or some other class of drug with the known side effect of suicide. We don't know if he had at least one person he felt like he could reach out to when he started feeling hopeless. Fame is deeply isolating in many ways, I think it's common for those who've reached his level of it to have very few people in their lives who they can really trust.
We'll never really know, though there will be no shortage of speculation, what ultimately led him to take this out, but whatever it was, it was deeply and personally about him, and not about anyone else. His suicide does not portend any kind of future outcome for you, or for anyone. It's just a terribly sad end to a life that looked really good from the outside.

Adnamaeel

Lucrezia, I'm glad you checked in, and even more glad that you've made it to 2 weeks. I know you can keep going from here.
Chic, it's really good to see you back at it, and trying something new. The online meeting sounds like a really good idea. I hope your son loves going to school, and that it's a positive adjustment for you, too.
Obosob, I look forward to the next installment whenever it happens. As for your flight, it seemed like what you did for the flight over worked well for you, can you do the same thing on the way back? Downloaded movies, good books and limiting my caffeine intake help me get through long flights. I know you can make it through this one unscathed.
Rocks, it sounds like you've come so far over these last weeks, and I think you can bring that progress with you when you go back to school. Meetings or support groups are probably a good idea, I bet there's something like that right at the school. And there's always SR and us, too. Try to remember to come here before you get into any trouble, I have so much confidence in you.
Have a great and sober day Fools.

Upward2Enlightenment

Fools!!! Hope you all are well.

Congrats on 13 chick. The smart program looks good. You are stronger than you think. I believe in you! Also thanks.

Congrats on 2 weeks Luc.

Obo, I hope your flight is calm. Like top said picture all us fools there with you.

Top, I agree with you about the news. I have cable here but just internet, no TV. I can stream all the movies that I want.

Kelly, I know exactly how you are feeling, been there myself. Just remember that the problems are only temporary. What RW did is permanent. Have you tried and counseling? You may need to try a few to find someone who is right for you. Just remember that the bottle solves nothing, just puts the problem off till later and usually adds more problems on top. Don't worry about your post being depressing, we are here to help you through the tough times.

I agree with you Adna, people see that RW was famous and had a good career but that is usually only a small part of real depression.

Take care izzy, Dee, soli, rocks and everyone else. Miss you Mrs. Bee and ST.

Have a great day everyone.

P.S. if anyone needs to talk I'm here for all of you.

freein14

Just want to check in before I have my evening meal then out to a bible class, just in case I don't get time later.

Kelly, apart from your Fools team, do you have any other close support? It is so important to take good care of your health (I know you know that already!) What small thing could you do which would let you know that you really cared for yourself? Something as small as taking a walk, phoning a loved one, making a really healthy meal for yourself.

Sometimes we forget that our one closest, dearest friend is our self (and if you have a faith, then God, of course)

A question which I like to ask myself in times of angst is "if I really did love myself what would I say to myself, or what would I be doing now", it's surprising how it can turn the tables on a stressful time.

I hope things improve today for you.

Obo, I'll be thinking of you flying. Hope all goes well. Looking forward to the next instalment whenever your muse grabs you.

Luc, great to hear you have 2 weeks under your belt

Love to all Fools,
X

freein14

UP, you sound great!

Upward2Enlightenment

Thanks free.

Present4614

Glad everyone is hanging in there. I am having a "prickly" week... I just feel really uncomfortable in my skin for some reason. My muscles have been involuntarily tensing up - I must remember that my shoulders should not be touching my ears! Trying to do body scans and stop the tension. It's causing a terrible headache today. You would think losing the caffeine would have the opposite effect...

topspin

Oh Present,
Hopefully your withdrawals will be over soon !

The first of two times I quit caffeine , I was caught off guard not knowing any withdrawal symptoms were on the way. Only after months had passed did I hear about headaches being one.
in my distant memory , it seemed like I had them for around three days.

The second time I quit, ...I was so hung over everyday, my withdrawals just seemed to make them worse ( in retrospect )
Most folks recommend drinking plenty of water, but I'm sure you already know that.

Hang in there, ...this too shall pass.
I'm really proud you're finding your way to be free.

Upward2Enlightenment

Hidey ho Fools!

I hope you are all doing well this fine Thursday.

As you venture through your day, take the time to stop and observe nature at it's best. Watch the animals as they play with no real apparent concerns, the mother's and their children running through the wild making games of the natural surroundings.
Find the time to do the same with your life, enjoy the natural surroundings of the world you travel through.
We often get caught up in all we have to do and forget to stop and enjoy the sunrise or sunset, the clouds as they roll through, the forces of nature at work, and the people that are in our lives.
A moment wasted is a moment lost, a memory captured is a moment well used.

Have a great day!!

Present4614

I don't think it's the lack of caffeine. I finally finished my tapering program for benzo addiction. I took my last tiny dose last week. I was doing just fine until yesterday... I am guessing that the last of the drug has finally worked its way out of my body and now my brain is freaking out. I am really paying attention to my body today - everytime I feel a muscle tense up I stop and try to relax it. It's probably going to take awhile... I am thankful I am free of all chemical dependence...

ChickChick

Hi all! Day 14 here.

Up, That emoticon cracks me up! See what I did there? And you've reminded me of Home Improvment. I don't think my kids have ever watched it, I'll have to find some episodes to show them. Loved the post.

Present, Congrats on getting off all of the chemicals. I hope you are feeling better soon! Have you tried a warm compress on your muscles?

Thinking of the rest of you Fools, hope you have great day!!

Present4614

Hi Chick,

I took a lovely, long hot bath brimming with lavender and bubbles last night. I felt like melting butter when I got into bed last night

Adnamaeel

Congratulations Present, getting off benzos is a big deal, and you were wise to do it safely. I think your approach of focusing on each muscle that tenses up is a good one. Hot baths and saunas, if you have access to one, will probably be beneficial also, and I bet yoga would help too.
I hope you feel proud of yourself for this, you really deserve to.

Present4614

Thanks Adna,

It has been an absolute nightmare but the tapering system worked. Now I just have to let my brain re-wire. I don't think it's gone a day without some sort of chemical intervention since I was a young teenager. I am excited to meet my clean, chemical free self

ChickChick

Your bath sounds wonderful Present! I mighat have to have one tonight. I've had our kittens residing in my tub for the past 4 weeks, they are getting moved to a different spot today. Can't wait to have my tub back!! Lol.