Class of April 2014 Part 14
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
Congrats UP!! Sorry to hear you're tired today Luc, but glad to hear that you're sober! Made it through another weekend over here. Tired and a little stressed with trying to get everything done (school starts again in two weeks! eep!) but glad to have had a nice weekend with family. Goodnight everyone! Let's have a great week!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
I agree that it's standard for some kids to cry on the first day of kindergarten in most places. But seriously I think that all of the kids here go to pre K, which is the same hours as regular school. So they are all use to being in school and they know eachother. My sweet girl going there and not knowing anyone..it brings tears to my eyes. I am also afraid that this school might be like the other school that we withdrew our son from. I am afraid they will not be accepting of us because we are outsiders. I hate feeling like I don't belong here and I don't want my kids to feel that way or be treated that way. She is not excited and she does not want to go to kindergarten. It would be so much easier for me if she did. I try to say upbeat things to get her to look forward to it and nothing works.
We register tomorrow and my nerves are so bad. I can only pray that things won't be as horrible as I have made them in my head.
Adna I can identify with your urge to smoke herb. I hadn't smoked in years until after my mom passed and I went back to my hometown, and began my little detour. I partook nearly every night for about a week. Tom Petty's "Last Dance with Mary Jane" came on Pandora while I was doing it the last time. It was a temporary thing but now every once in a while I get the urge. It doesn't matter because I don't even know anyone here and I'd be to scared to have it at the house anyway. But I feel ya.
Freein 16 weeks wow that's awesome! Good job
UP and Freein also! You guys are rockin! Well done
Lucrezia Last time he was on here he seemed to be doing really well, getting a lot of help. He'll probably be back around soon.
I guess today will wrap up the 5th week with no slip ups. It's been a very long while since I've gone that many days. I want to be really proud of myself but it's like there's a part of myself that says it's too early to be proud. Like maybe I'll fall back into old patterns again, maybe this success is temporary, etc negative negative negative.
My friend who decided to quit drinking shortly after I recomitted myself has drank a couple of times. Her grandad died a few weeks ago and she had a glass of wine the day of his funeral. And she got drunk last night. I won't lie, I was a little bit jealous. But she felt like crap today and said she was mad at herself for it. If there are levels of alcoholics and if we are both alcoholics, I am at a higher level. If that makes sense. I'm not worried about her or anything. I'm not going to let her decisions affect mine, because we are not the same. Just like all of these people posting stuff on FB about drinking and like tthe e-cards today "Two kinds of people annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober, and sober people when I'm drunk". I wonder if I'll always get a little jealous. I sure hope not.
We register tomorrow and my nerves are so bad. I can only pray that things won't be as horrible as I have made them in my head.
Adna I can identify with your urge to smoke herb. I hadn't smoked in years until after my mom passed and I went back to my hometown, and began my little detour. I partook nearly every night for about a week. Tom Petty's "Last Dance with Mary Jane" came on Pandora while I was doing it the last time. It was a temporary thing but now every once in a while I get the urge. It doesn't matter because I don't even know anyone here and I'd be to scared to have it at the house anyway. But I feel ya.
Freein 16 weeks wow that's awesome! Good job
UP and Freein also! You guys are rockin! Well done
Lucrezia Last time he was on here he seemed to be doing really well, getting a lot of help. He'll probably be back around soon.
I guess today will wrap up the 5th week with no slip ups. It's been a very long while since I've gone that many days. I want to be really proud of myself but it's like there's a part of myself that says it's too early to be proud. Like maybe I'll fall back into old patterns again, maybe this success is temporary, etc negative negative negative.
My friend who decided to quit drinking shortly after I recomitted myself has drank a couple of times. Her grandad died a few weeks ago and she had a glass of wine the day of his funeral. And she got drunk last night. I won't lie, I was a little bit jealous. But she felt like crap today and said she was mad at herself for it. If there are levels of alcoholics and if we are both alcoholics, I am at a higher level. If that makes sense. I'm not worried about her or anything. I'm not going to let her decisions affect mine, because we are not the same. Just like all of these people posting stuff on FB about drinking and like tthe e-cards today "Two kinds of people annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober, and sober people when I'm drunk". I wonder if I'll always get a little jealous. I sure hope not.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Luc, great to hear you have 11 days under your belt. Tiredness is a problem for me too, I'm taking various vitamin supplements which I think are helping.
Rocks, you're doing great. Have you thought about preparations for getting back to school. How to manage some of pressures for example? Will you find yourself in any difficult situations or conversations which you can prepare for?
Solil, I hope the registration goes well, would it be possible to find out if there are other children who are in a similar situation, and see if you can connect with their parents?
I broached the subject of our summer holiday with my SO yesterday, I just said that I think the holiday will be a challenge (isn't that crazy! If there's one thing a holiday should not be its a challenge!). But I know there's a strong association between holidays and wine in my mind. I don't want to come back from holiday feeling worse than when I went, which is the norm up until now. Anyway, he said it won't be a challenge. I liked that response, it reassured me that he'll still be supportive of my sobriety while we're away which will be at least half the battle won. It's just my own mind I need to be careful of. The holiday isn't for a while, so there's plenty of time still to prepare.
Has anyone tried visualisation for certain situations? I'm going to try to visualise having an apartment with a fridge full of spring water and fresh lemons, maybe some exotic fruit juices, and enjoying a healthy drink in the sun. It might help to lessen the strong association I have in my mind. Then visualise coming home, feeling full of health and vitality, clear eyes, a fit body, and refreshed from our time away (In the past this has been totally the opposite).
It might help.
Hope everyone has a great start to their week.
Rocks, you're doing great. Have you thought about preparations for getting back to school. How to manage some of pressures for example? Will you find yourself in any difficult situations or conversations which you can prepare for?
Solil, I hope the registration goes well, would it be possible to find out if there are other children who are in a similar situation, and see if you can connect with their parents?
I broached the subject of our summer holiday with my SO yesterday, I just said that I think the holiday will be a challenge (isn't that crazy! If there's one thing a holiday should not be its a challenge!). But I know there's a strong association between holidays and wine in my mind. I don't want to come back from holiday feeling worse than when I went, which is the norm up until now. Anyway, he said it won't be a challenge. I liked that response, it reassured me that he'll still be supportive of my sobriety while we're away which will be at least half the battle won. It's just my own mind I need to be careful of. The holiday isn't for a while, so there's plenty of time still to prepare.
Has anyone tried visualisation for certain situations? I'm going to try to visualise having an apartment with a fridge full of spring water and fresh lemons, maybe some exotic fruit juices, and enjoying a healthy drink in the sun. It might help to lessen the strong association I have in my mind. Then visualise coming home, feeling full of health and vitality, clear eyes, a fit body, and refreshed from our time away (In the past this has been totally the opposite).
It might help.
Hope everyone has a great start to their week.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by freein14 
Tops, making up a road is definitely a procrastinators nightmare! What a colossal achievement to make even a start on that. You can no longer call yourself a procrastinator - you're cured my friend
.
Thanks' for the vote of confidence !
...as for *cured* ,,,,well, I'm not quite so convinced
If I can just manage a daily reprieve, ...sort of like how sobriety is for me,
that'll be a blessing.
Love your idea of visualization !?! Some sports coaches believe that mental exercise is as effective, if not more, than training and nutrition .
I'm in that camp.
During HS tennis season, I was about worthless in my Fri. classrooms because I was too busy "daydreaming" every contingent shot in the upcoming match after school .......( learned later I was just *visualizing*, LOL )
Apparently my teachers wanted me to "live in the present " a little more....
I have full confidence your holiday will be stress free, and you'll enjoy it more fully than your wildest expectations. You've put in such a gritty, and multifaceted effort since April; ...and I really think it's impossible for it not to happen !?!
Thanks for the inspiration on the roadwork. Early start Sunday, and got a little more done. Managed not to overdue it out there, and fit in a invigorating nap before work.
Still fell asleep at work, and had a crazy dream about meeting what seemed like some composite of Luc, and Rocks, and Mariah maybe. Now that I think of it, it was probably Solil, ...or Izzy !!
In the dream I'd fallen into a deep deep sleep and couldn't fully wake up out of a delirious fatigue, and naturally couldn't remember the name of whoever it was I was supposed to introduce myself to as topspin from SR.
LOL , after over 4 years , .... that's my first official SR dream.
Hope everyone has a wonderful start to the week.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Good morning!
I was awakened by a 6:00 am text this morning, which usually means really bad news, but after jumping up, stepping on my dog and scrambling for my glasses, it turned out my mom was just feeling chatty from 3 time zones away. Nothing like a little panic to get the day started...
Up, you're at 121 now, Freein at 113, Lucrezia 12, Rocks 48, Soliloquy 36, Chick 11, Topspin and Obosob, I don't know how many days, but it's been months for you guys. I'm not counting my days anymore, but my last pill was on April 1, and I last smoked herb sometime later that month, I wish I'd paid more attention to the date, but for some reason putting it down didn't seem momentous enough at the time for me to take notice of the date.
I am so incredibly proud of each and every one of us! Being on this journey with all of you has been wonderful.
Soliloquy, I hope registration goes well today, and that you and your daughter can see her new classroom, maybe that will generate some excitement about her new experience. In my experience kids that age are very open to making new friends, so I bet it won't take your little girl long to feel like a part of the class. Also, teachers are much more sensitive to issues of inclusion than they have ever been, I imagine this transition will be a lot harder on you than on her, if that's any consolation. Maybe you can arrange to meet with the teacher ahead of time to discuss your concerns? I really hope it all goes well for both of you.
Freein and Up, I'm right there with you both on this being a permanent new way of life. I feel like I was stuck in place for so long, and now I never want to stop feeling like I'm moving forward.
Freein, try to approach this holiday like a totally new experience, instead of a different version of what you've done before. Maybe even use a new word to describe it, like a vacation, adventure or respite, so you think of it as a different thing. I have used visualization before, and have found it to be very effective. I understand your concerns going into it, but I also have unlimited confidence in you.
I've been tired lately too Lucrezia. The more physically active I am, the more energetic though, so I know I can do something about it. Hopefully you can too.
Topspin, you don't seem like the procrastinator you claim to be...
Chick, I hope you've had a good couple days, and that all your critters have, too.
Rocks, I think it's great that you're getting right back into school. I've been starting to consider going back myself, but don't know if I can study what I want to study locally, though there is a big university here. I have one degree from it already, but quit a grad program there years ago. They might not want me back after that.
Obosob, I can't wait for the next installment...
Dee, I still have my fingers crossed that your housing situation stabilizes soon, and that something wonderful comes from this transition.
Izzy, Applekat, Mariah, Present and Kelly, I hope you're all doing well and had a good weekend.
Panacea, Solitary, Kitten, Normi, Noolan, and all the rest of the Fools I've missed here, I hope you're still reading, and that you check in with us. You are all missed.
I was awakened by a 6:00 am text this morning, which usually means really bad news, but after jumping up, stepping on my dog and scrambling for my glasses, it turned out my mom was just feeling chatty from 3 time zones away. Nothing like a little panic to get the day started...
Up, you're at 121 now, Freein at 113, Lucrezia 12, Rocks 48, Soliloquy 36, Chick 11, Topspin and Obosob, I don't know how many days, but it's been months for you guys. I'm not counting my days anymore, but my last pill was on April 1, and I last smoked herb sometime later that month, I wish I'd paid more attention to the date, but for some reason putting it down didn't seem momentous enough at the time for me to take notice of the date.
I am so incredibly proud of each and every one of us! Being on this journey with all of you has been wonderful.
Soliloquy, I hope registration goes well today, and that you and your daughter can see her new classroom, maybe that will generate some excitement about her new experience. In my experience kids that age are very open to making new friends, so I bet it won't take your little girl long to feel like a part of the class. Also, teachers are much more sensitive to issues of inclusion than they have ever been, I imagine this transition will be a lot harder on you than on her, if that's any consolation. Maybe you can arrange to meet with the teacher ahead of time to discuss your concerns? I really hope it all goes well for both of you.
Freein and Up, I'm right there with you both on this being a permanent new way of life. I feel like I was stuck in place for so long, and now I never want to stop feeling like I'm moving forward.
Freein, try to approach this holiday like a totally new experience, instead of a different version of what you've done before. Maybe even use a new word to describe it, like a vacation, adventure or respite, so you think of it as a different thing. I have used visualization before, and have found it to be very effective. I understand your concerns going into it, but I also have unlimited confidence in you.
I've been tired lately too Lucrezia. The more physically active I am, the more energetic though, so I know I can do something about it. Hopefully you can too.
Topspin, you don't seem like the procrastinator you claim to be...
Chick, I hope you've had a good couple days, and that all your critters have, too.
Rocks, I think it's great that you're getting right back into school. I've been starting to consider going back myself, but don't know if I can study what I want to study locally, though there is a big university here. I have one degree from it already, but quit a grad program there years ago. They might not want me back after that.
Obosob, I can't wait for the next installment...
Dee, I still have my fingers crossed that your housing situation stabilizes soon, and that something wonderful comes from this transition.
Izzy, Applekat, Mariah, Present and Kelly, I hope you're all doing well and had a good weekend.
Panacea, Solitary, Kitten, Normi, Noolan, and all the rest of the Fools I've missed here, I hope you're still reading, and that you check in with us. You are all missed.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 99
Hi Everyone,
Happy Monday! I've already had several fires to put out at work this morning, but I'm handling things at work so much better these days. I have learned so much from the Buddha's Brain book, and I'm only halfway through.
I made it through the party at my mom's on Saturday, and of course there was lots of drinking going on. I felt really anxious so I stayed inside for awhile and got my head together. In reflection, I don't think the anxiety was about the alcohol but more because I drank too much caffeine earlier in the day. I have been cutting out the iced tea I used to drink all day long and switched to decaf a few weeks ago, but I couldn't resist a big Starbuck's iced tea that morning and boy did it whack me out! I can't do caffeine any more! Wow! I am running out of vices
Happy Monday! I've already had several fires to put out at work this morning, but I'm handling things at work so much better these days. I have learned so much from the Buddha's Brain book, and I'm only halfway through.
I made it through the party at my mom's on Saturday, and of course there was lots of drinking going on. I felt really anxious so I stayed inside for awhile and got my head together. In reflection, I don't think the anxiety was about the alcohol but more because I drank too much caffeine earlier in the day. I have been cutting out the iced tea I used to drink all day long and switched to decaf a few weeks ago, but I couldn't resist a big Starbuck's iced tea that morning and boy did it whack me out! I can't do caffeine any more! Wow! I am running out of vices
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi all,
Tops and Adna, thank you so much for your encouraging words, that's helped so much. I have jotted down today's date on my calender so that I can reread your posts before I go in September. I will also rename my holiday as a rejuvenating respite, that's exactly what I want it to be.
Kelly, 4 days will go in a flash. Have you got plans for your staycation? Sounds like you're ready for a rest.
Talking of resting, Tops, I love weird dreams like that, but probably not at work are you getting enough sleep?
Present, well done for getting through the party so well, that's another hurdle successfully tackled.
Early night for me tonight, I love my bed, it's one of life's luxuries that I'll never take for granted.
Hope everyone's having a good day.
Tops and Adna, thank you so much for your encouraging words, that's helped so much. I have jotted down today's date on my calender so that I can reread your posts before I go in September. I will also rename my holiday as a rejuvenating respite, that's exactly what I want it to be.
Kelly, 4 days will go in a flash. Have you got plans for your staycation? Sounds like you're ready for a rest.
Talking of resting, Tops, I love weird dreams like that, but probably not at work
are you getting enough sleep? Present, well done for getting through the party so well, that's another hurdle successfully tackled.
Early night for me tonight, I love my bed, it's one of life's luxuries that I'll never take for granted.
Hope everyone's having a good day.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Present , ....congrats on easing back the caffeine !!
Definitely need to work on that myself.
Kelly, ... Big congrats on 16 !
Talking of resting, Tops, I love weird dreams like that, but probably not at work are you getting enough sleep?
. My wireless connection in the office was down last night, so I found an empty small condo with a router to check into SR last night. That dream was totally anxiety ridden having to do with falling asleep and knowing I needed to get my late night work done yet !
My first nights back on a 4 day work week can be brutal when I wake up early that day. To answer your question though , ...my sleep pattern is all over the map, ..and it sucks. Try to keep a good attitude about it, ...until I find my way for a day job.
This job is not all negative though, ........our guests are mostly a fun group of working class people.
Everyone that has worked this job in the last 25 years has gotten canned for drinking on the job. It's way more fun without a hangover, but I can see the temptation because of all the drinking going on every night !!?
....and there's no coworkers to snitch on ya.
Never drank on the job myself, ..... only because of the way I drank,
...
Definitely need to work on that myself.
Kelly, ... Big congrats on 16 !
Originally Posted by freein14
Talking of resting, Tops, I love weird dreams like that, but probably not at work
are you getting enough sleep? .
My first nights back on a 4 day work week can be brutal when I wake up early that day. To answer your question though , ...my sleep pattern is all over the map, ..and it sucks. Try to keep a good attitude about it, ...until I find my way for a day job.
This job is not all negative though, ........our guests are mostly a fun group of working class people.
Everyone that has worked this job in the last 25 years has gotten canned for drinking on the job. It's way more fun without a hangover, but I can see the temptation because of all the drinking going on every night !!?
....and there's no coworkers to snitch on ya.
Never drank on the job myself, ..... only because of the way I drank,
...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Hey guys-
Free- I hope you have the best holiday-vacation-adventure ever. You so deserve it.
Present- if you kicked caffeine, you'll have to share your secret. I haven't even tried that one yet.
Top- I think in the dream, we were saying, "wake up top! hope you find a better job soon ... those hours are CRA-zy!"
Soli and everyone getting ready for a new school year- it's going to be great. Our kids have moms who are brave enough to face this demon so they have a good role model to face courageously whatever comes.
Adna- as always, thx for your encouraging posts.
Obo- looking forward to your next installment ...
I went to see the James Brown movie yesterday to try to get my mind off a pretty stressful weekend we just had. So, I've been feeling pretty groovy all day long ...
This is a fool's world!
Free- I hope you have the best holiday-vacation-adventure ever. You so deserve it.
Present- if you kicked caffeine, you'll have to share your secret. I haven't even tried that one yet.
Top- I think in the dream, we were saying, "wake up top! hope you find a better job soon ... those hours are CRA-zy!"
Soli and everyone getting ready for a new school year- it's going to be great. Our kids have moms who are brave enough to face this demon so they have a good role model to face courageously whatever comes.
Adna- as always, thx for your encouraging posts.
Obo- looking forward to your next installment ...
I went to see the James Brown movie yesterday to try to get my mind off a pretty stressful weekend we just had. So, I've been feeling pretty groovy all day long ...
This is a fool's world!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Morning all,
Thanks Izzy. My "rejuvenating respite" isn't for a few weeks yet, I think I was probably a bit overly anxious because I know how much I rely on SR, and realised that I probably won't have easy access to the internet. But now I know I have come too far to even contemplate the thought of sliding backwards.
Tops, I hope you do find a day job soon. Those hours sound brutal!
Off to work now. See you all later.
Thanks Izzy. My "rejuvenating respite" isn't for a few weeks yet, I think I was probably a bit overly anxious because I know how much I rely on SR, and realised that I probably won't have easy access to the internet. But now I know I have come too far to even contemplate the thought of sliding backwards.
Tops, I hope you do find a day job soon. Those hours sound brutal!
Off to work now. See you all later.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Thanks Up. 
Free(& anyone else who might like a nutritive, yummy beverage idea- I thought of you when I tried this: "skinny girl sparkler, strawberry lemonade"- yum! (& has lots of good stuff in it )... Would make a most excellent vacation treat.
Free(& anyone else who might like a nutritive, yummy beverage idea
- I thought of you when I tried this: "skinny girl sparkler, strawberry lemonade"- yum! (& has lots of good stuff in it )... Would make a most excellent vacation treat.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
Happy Tuesday everyone! It's a little weird today. Robin Williams' death has brought up a lot of stuff with my mom around my grandfather's suicide. He was an alcoholic who also struggled with severe depression and these kind of events bring up a lot for her, so she's been in a pretty dark mood. On top of that, my boyfriend's grandfather passed today. So more darkness. Glad I'm in a good place to be able to be present for all of this, but not the brightest time around here.
freein, I'm honestly kind of terrified about going back. I've been doing really well (7 weeks today!) but I've been outside my tricky environment. I go back next week when I start school. So that's a lot to go back to at once. I haven't been to AA or any group or anything, so that might be a good time to start. Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. This week would be a good time to figure that out. As far as visualization, I've been, for better or worse, comparing how I'm doing to similar holidays a year ago. Up until the past two months it's been kind of a depressing exercise. But on this last vacation I went on it was really nice to stop and do a mental check occasionally and think about how good I felt and how much better it was during vacations before. It's really nice to feel good!
What a crazy dream topspin!
Thanks Adna! I hate waking up in a panic. Glad there was no bad news. Sounds like things are going well. You're right, this is a new way of life. I feel like I'm starting to feel things click into place the more that this becomes a habit.
Present, I find that too much caffeine gives me the worst anxiety in a way that it never used to. I've definitely been having quite a bit of it though. Having trouble getting rid of that last vice I guess. Glad that you're cutting that last one loose
freein, I'm honestly kind of terrified about going back. I've been doing really well (7 weeks today!) but I've been outside my tricky environment. I go back next week when I start school. So that's a lot to go back to at once. I haven't been to AA or any group or anything, so that might be a good time to start. Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. This week would be a good time to figure that out. As far as visualization, I've been, for better or worse, comparing how I'm doing to similar holidays a year ago. Up until the past two months it's been kind of a depressing exercise. But on this last vacation I went on it was really nice to stop and do a mental check occasionally and think about how good I felt and how much better it was during vacations before. It's really nice to feel good!
What a crazy dream topspin!
Thanks Adna! I hate waking up in a panic. Glad there was no bad news. Sounds like things are going well. You're right, this is a new way of life. I feel like I'm starting to feel things click into place the more that this becomes a habit.
Present, I find that too much caffeine gives me the worst anxiety in a way that it never used to. I've definitely been having quite a bit of it though. Having trouble getting rid of that last vice I guess. Glad that you're cutting that last one loose
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Rocks, you sound so bright and positive, it's lovely to hear how your doing. I agree it would be helpful to take time this week to prepare for your return to school. Your vacation experience is definitely encouraging for the rest of us, thank you.
I think I'm gaining a bit more energy, I haven't been so tired driving home from work today, so hopefully my nutrition changes and more exercise are making a difference.
I'm so grateful that my body is getting stronger, albeit slowly.
Hope everyone is discovering some positive body changes too.
I think I'm gaining a bit more energy, I haven't been so tired driving home from work today, so hopefully my nutrition changes and more exercise are making a difference.
I'm so grateful that my body is getting stronger, albeit slowly.
Hope everyone is discovering some positive body changes too.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Free- I bought at a convenience store. I don't know that y'all have the same brands but I've found all these fun drinks in the cooler section next to the section I used to buy from- if you know what I mean... Anyway, I've tried all kinds of stuff but I like this one bc it's fortified with all these vitamins, acai, green tea, etc. and it's sparking. So that makes it fun.
It's a sad day. Hearts been hurting. Strange how you feel like you know someone. He really did share his gifts with the world.
Up, I haven't had time but going to watch the link you posted.
Quiet nite here- hope all is well w everyone.
We may be away from internet for a while- take care fools!
It's a sad day. Hearts been hurting. Strange how you feel like you know someone. He really did share his gifts with the world.
Up, I haven't had time but going to watch the link you posted.
Quiet nite here- hope all is well w everyone.
We may be away from internet for a while- take care fools!
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