Class of October 2013 - Part 8
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
I'm not much of a reader so I have no input. I know it's lame but when I do read it is usually fictional detective/law books. I've never read a self help/inspirational book in my life. My wife does a lot of that type of reading when she isn't working 70 hours a week.
JL, I hope that things work out great on your new adventure. It sounds like it will be not only a great opportunity for you, but your whole family.
DD, We saw our fair share of the ugly houses down here. I learned to never judge a book by its cover when looking for houses here, and probably anywhere. The things that were most important to us this time were, impact windows, a screened in pool, and a semi new roof. The house that we bought had all of theses and a full home back up generator. I also have to have a kitchen that I'm really going to like to use. The previous owners thought the same way because they had all Viking appliances. The wine refrigerator is nice but useless to me now.
Driver, the picture was too funny. Your wife must have been freaking out with that pose.
JL, I hope that things work out great on your new adventure. It sounds like it will be not only a great opportunity for you, but your whole family.
DD, We saw our fair share of the ugly houses down here. I learned to never judge a book by its cover when looking for houses here, and probably anywhere. The things that were most important to us this time were, impact windows, a screened in pool, and a semi new roof. The house that we bought had all of theses and a full home back up generator. I also have to have a kitchen that I'm really going to like to use. The previous owners thought the same way because they had all Viking appliances. The wine refrigerator is nice but useless to me now.
Driver, the picture was too funny. Your wife must have been freaking out with that pose.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by Driver1 
Cindy,
Thanks for the very thoughtful response Cyndy. It means a lot. It is a comfort to know there are others who struggle with similar issues. You’ve given me quite a lot to think about…and your success is super super inspirational to me (like, hmm, it can be done – the restructuring).
BTW, I know I mentioned this last week, but worth mentioning again: I am thrilled for you! I remember way back when (mid-October; seems like a lifetime ago, right?) you were so hesitant re: attending meetings (and especially speaking while at meeting). Now look at what you are doing! That is fantastic!!
So here is a bit on babies. I do recognize the unconditional love of these little guys and the unique opportunity they present. There will be no reason to question why these children love me. They will do so because I tell ‘em to (kidding!)….because it’s unblemished by my history. How wonderful is that? A chance to hit the re-set button!!!!
Milk Drunk!:
Thanks for the very thoughtful response Cyndy. It means a lot. It is a comfort to know there are others who struggle with similar issues. You’ve given me quite a lot to think about…and your success is super super inspirational to me (like, hmm, it can be done – the restructuring).
BTW, I know I mentioned this last week, but worth mentioning again: I am thrilled for you! I remember way back when (mid-October; seems like a lifetime ago, right?) you were so hesitant re: attending meetings (and especially speaking while at meeting). Now look at what you are doing! That is fantastic!!
So here is a bit on babies. I do recognize the unconditional love of these little guys and the unique opportunity they present. There will be no reason to question why these children love me. They will do so because I tell ‘em to (kidding!)….because it’s unblemished by my history. How wonderful is that? A chance to hit the re-set button!!!!
Milk Drunk!:
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Hi guys,
Much better day today. The further I get away from a binge like that, the better things go. I have finally forgiven myself, stopped beating myself up, and decided to learn from it and move on. Lesson learned = gotta find new! non-drinking friends and avoid the old drinking buddies in bars, at least for the foreseeable future. Painful but it's gotta be done. I have reached a point now where sobriety is more important than my friendships, period.
Much better day today. The further I get away from a binge like that, the better things go. I have finally forgiven myself, stopped beating myself up, and decided to learn from it and move on. Lesson learned = gotta find new! non-drinking friends and avoid the old drinking buddies in bars, at least for the foreseeable future. Painful but it's gotta be done. I have reached a point now where sobriety is more important than my friendships, period.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Great stuff today Tobers.
SM and JL, glad things are looking up for you guys.
WhoDey, congrats on 3 months and thanks for the info on Yancey. The excerpt is intriguing (there are so many great recommendations you all have given over time. I keep a log but don't know how on earth I'm gonna find the time!).
trudging, you are a finisher. I suspect you'll find a way to figure this all out.
So I went back to work today. Hard to pull myself away from babies. I really didn't need to go in but boss is so generous and I will continue to take advantage so best to give back. DW's mom came last night so plenty of help. She's your classic doting grandmother who was PreK teacher for 30 years.
I will take FMLA leave beginning in March which will overlap with DW leave for a few weeks. Then she goes back to work (i.e., her office in our house). My leave takes me days away from end of school year, so essentailly when I split in March, I'm with kiddies til August. Next year I will go part time.
My priority is family now (can't imagine having 2 babies and a wife calling from one end of the house and my demon calling from another). Fortunately, some very good foundation on our careers and homes has long been in the making. They can be put on auto-pilot.
Babies are spectacluar guys! Super chill. Baby boy was pretty upset after cicumcision last Thursday. But he's been super laid back since.
Baby girl who intially was "clueless" (per doctor) with feeding is now our little Latch Monkey. Fiesty little one. She's so tiny and so cute. Has super long fingers but is a bag of bones. I suspect she will be tall. I come from a long line of tall peoples.
BTW, I am the middle of 5 brothers and sisters. One older sis and bro, one younger sis and then littlest brother 9 years later. I'm very close with them all, but probably closest with the little brother.
Wife is amazing ladies and gentlemen. 22 years later and the package still is opening in such wonderful and astonishing ways. Beauty, grace, and now...magestic mommy. We are working so incredibly well together and enjoying positively every moment.
Gave DW a piece of jewelry last night (they call it a "push gift" apparently) that she absolutey adored (sigh of relief!; she doesn't wear much so wanted to get that one right).
We love these babies Tobers (duh!, right?).
I have always loved babies. Been blessed to have many babies in my life with a few sometimes in my (partial) care (including younger brother). But nothing campares to this.
Alexandra aka Latch Monkey (Aubrey later):
SM and JL, glad things are looking up for you guys.
WhoDey, congrats on 3 months and thanks for the info on Yancey. The excerpt is intriguing (there are so many great recommendations you all have given over time. I keep a log but don't know how on earth I'm gonna find the time!).
trudging, you are a finisher. I suspect you'll find a way to figure this all out.
So I went back to work today. Hard to pull myself away from babies. I really didn't need to go in but boss is so generous and I will continue to take advantage so best to give back. DW's mom came last night so plenty of help. She's your classic doting grandmother who was PreK teacher for 30 years.
I will take FMLA leave beginning in March which will overlap with DW leave for a few weeks. Then she goes back to work (i.e., her office in our house). My leave takes me days away from end of school year, so essentailly when I split in March, I'm with kiddies til August. Next year I will go part time.
My priority is family now (can't imagine having 2 babies and a wife calling from one end of the house and my demon calling from another). Fortunately, some very good foundation on our careers and homes has long been in the making. They can be put on auto-pilot.
Babies are spectacluar guys! Super chill. Baby boy was pretty upset after cicumcision last Thursday. But he's been super laid back since.
Baby girl who intially was "clueless" (per doctor) with feeding is now our little Latch Monkey. Fiesty little one. She's so tiny and so cute. Has super long fingers but is a bag of bones. I suspect she will be tall. I come from a long line of tall peoples.
BTW, I am the middle of 5 brothers and sisters. One older sis and bro, one younger sis and then littlest brother 9 years later. I'm very close with them all, but probably closest with the little brother.
Wife is amazing ladies and gentlemen. 22 years later and the package still is opening in such wonderful and astonishing ways. Beauty, grace, and now...magestic mommy. We are working so incredibly well together and enjoying positively every moment.
Gave DW a piece of jewelry last night (they call it a "push gift" apparently) that she absolutey adored (sigh of relief!; she doesn't wear much so wanted to get that one right).
We love these babies Tobers (duh!, right?).
I have always loved babies. Been blessed to have many babies in my life with a few sometimes in my (partial) care (including younger brother). But nothing campares to this.
Alexandra aka Latch Monkey (Aubrey later):
JL2013
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Ga
Posts: 138
Ok, here goes : first ever aa meeting tonight at 8pm. Dumped the crumby job, going to recertification class this afternoon, then the meeting this evening. This is that scary, don't know what's gonna happen next, day !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Originally Posted by JL2013
Ok, here goes : first ever aa meeting tonight at 8pm. Dumped the crumby job, going to recertification class this afternoon, then the meeting this evening. This is that scary, don't know what's gonna happen next, day !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Here's my thought of the day. I have been reading posts from various threads and it seems there are a number of folks out there who have relapsed after years of sobriety, sometimes even 5-10. It is slightly daunting to read these stories about people who clearly held it together for very extended periods and eventually relapsed. I know this shouldn't discourage any of us (hey I'm the king of relapse in this thread), but even having 90 days or 180 days or more doesn't necessarily mean that we are ever really in the clear.
Thoughts? Just scares me a bit, that's all.
Thoughts? Just scares me a bit, that's all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,470
I'll have seven years this year SM.
Whatever might happen to others has no effect on me, because I fully accept I am now and will always be an alcoholic.
I've worked hard at my second chance and I love the life I've built and who I am now. To risk that by drinking again would be madness.
I'm no longer mad - not anymore
D
Whatever might happen to others has no effect on me, because I fully accept I am now and will always be an alcoholic.
I've worked hard at my second chance and I love the life I've built and who I am now. To risk that by drinking again would be madness.
I'm no longer mad - not anymore
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
SM,
I too have read those same stories. For me, the negative consequences of picking up are too great. The longer I've been in sobriety the less and less I even think about drinking. I don't know what happens when people relapse after years and years, so I can never say never. I don't know how to explain it but the thought of drinking for me has lost its glamor.
I too have read those same stories. For me, the negative consequences of picking up are too great. The longer I've been in sobriety the less and less I even think about drinking. I don't know what happens when people relapse after years and years, so I can never say never. I don't know how to explain it but the thought of drinking for me has lost its glamor.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
JL, most times these days end up turning out pretty good. I think the meeting tonight is a great way to end the day. After doing all the shift work, it will be good for you to meet others with similar circumstances.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
JL ... I'm so happy for you! You are making positive changes in your life ... dumped the job that didn't fit and are exploring AA. It seemed like you were not in a good, sustainable place with that old job. So great to see you headed in a positive direction.
SM ... Yes, the stories of relapse after long periods of sobriety are alarming. I don't browse the other forums much, but do so from time to time to keep me on the right track. I still think about alcohol particularly when I get stressed and desire an escape, but I am so very thankful for being sober. I try to remind myself everyday of how good I have it and how I don't have to worry about fitting in drinking with the "rest" of life.
The Super Bowl is on the horizon and we will be hosting a party. We have done so in the past as we rotate with a handful of our couples. I have decided to go against my instincts as a good host and will be asking guests to bring their own beer. The guests have a wide range of tastes anyways (some only drink a certain brand), so I could never please everyone if I tried. I don't want to buy the stuff and I don't want to deal with the leftovers.
October 23 was Day 1, so today is my 3 month anniversary. In some ways it's gone fast ... in other ways it seems like it's been longer than 3 months. Looking forward to celebrating 4 months with all of you!
SM ... Yes, the stories of relapse after long periods of sobriety are alarming. I don't browse the other forums much, but do so from time to time to keep me on the right track. I still think about alcohol particularly when I get stressed and desire an escape, but I am so very thankful for being sober. I try to remind myself everyday of how good I have it and how I don't have to worry about fitting in drinking with the "rest" of life.
The Super Bowl is on the horizon and we will be hosting a party. We have done so in the past as we rotate with a handful of our couples. I have decided to go against my instincts as a good host and will be asking guests to bring their own beer. The guests have a wide range of tastes anyways (some only drink a certain brand), so I could never please everyone if I tried. I don't want to buy the stuff and I don't want to deal with the leftovers.
October 23 was Day 1, so today is my 3 month anniversary. In some ways it's gone fast ... in other ways it seems like it's been longer than 3 months. Looking forward to celebrating 4 months with all of you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Whew! Well let's see....I, too, am the classic middle child. One older sis, one younger sis. Spent my entire life trying to fix it all...keeping the peace. I was "one of those"...8 years of sobriety...relapsed. Then 3 years...relapsed. Then 4 years and relapsed. Was in AA each time. I really think that I relapsed because I thought I could "handle" it. I was "cured" after all, right?! NOT. Never went through withdrawals either (until this time). Started out with the proverbial "one" drink....Ordered it out of the blue...and I was off! Too ashamed/embarrassed to go back to meetings initially....then I figured I had no choice....had to stop. So I went again, and identified as a "newcomer" and started again each time. THIS time, though, no AA. And, I feel soooo much more responsible....for ME. I want to be sober for ME. I dunno, I think the accountability was good....and I did work the steps each time....so I have somewhat of a foundation in AA....but, bottom line for me....I have to want it for ME....to keep it. I did have to give up my friends/drinking buddies each time...and I definitely avoided slippery places....had to in order to make it through early sobriety. Later, though, it didn't much matter where I went or who I hung out with....I was not a drinker. This time, it was about moving away from everyone and anything that in any way made me accountable....definitely a what the he!! attitude. Everyone (or so I thought) who comes here is on vacation, and is here to party! I wanted to be a "part of" that....now I realize that I LIVE here. This is MY LIFE. Cannot afford, nor do I want, to be drunk/hungover for the rest of it....BTW, Driver...I wanted to name my oldest daughter Alexandra.....but in the 80's it was all too common 
At the time, my (then) husband (also) had Russian/Ukrainian heritage....so we were looking for Russian/Ukranian names. You know how HARD that is for girls' names???? We ended up with Natascha Alexis....and the second daughter was named Katya Anastasia....
At the time, my (then) husband (also) had Russian/Ukrainian heritage....so we were looking for Russian/Ukranian names. You know how HARD that is for girls' names???? We ended up with Natascha Alexis....and the second daughter was named Katya Anastasia....
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
WhoDey,
I'm with you on not wanting to buy the beer. I still have about a case of beer left over from our Halloween party. Having it in the house isn't a temptation or I would just dump it out.
Congrats on 3 months. You are correct, sometimes it feels like it is a lot longer.
You said you sometimes think about alcohol as an escape from stress. I tend to look at the escape as eventually being held hostage. I was under way more stress when I was drinking. The occasional stress that I get now can mostly be managed by taking a step back and really thinking things through, which is something I rarely did when drinking.
I'm with you on not wanting to buy the beer. I still have about a case of beer left over from our Halloween party. Having it in the house isn't a temptation or I would just dump it out.
Congrats on 3 months. You are correct, sometimes it feels like it is a lot longer.
You said you sometimes think about alcohol as an escape from stress. I tend to look at the escape as eventually being held hostage. I was under way more stress when I was drinking. The occasional stress that I get now can mostly be managed by taking a step back and really thinking things through, which is something I rarely did when drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Originally Posted by Bilr44
The occasional stress that I get now can mostly be managed by taking a step back and really thinking things through, which is something I rarely did when drinking.
**************
Interesting fact of the day ... What was the most popular password in 2013?
Answer: 123456
For the first time ever, "password" is no longer the most popular password. 123456 is the most common (and worst) password of 2013.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
WD, congrats on 3 months! Just yesterday, with all of the stress/anxiety that I am dealing with right now, I REALLY wanted a drink. We still have two bottles of wine in the house...I thought about them yesterday...began to rationalize..."Well, if I have a glass, I don't have to say anything"...."One glass doesn't mean anything"..."So what if I just get smashed today? Who cares?", " I am not hurting anyone but myself"..yada yada. THEN....I thought the drink through....one??? Who am I kidding? Do I REALLY want to feel like crap in the morning? Will I start this rollercoaster again? (yes) "Why would I do that to myself?" etc. I even thought about an AV .... in the end....I didn't drink....YAY! And...today...I am sober and have no guilt, remorse, self-pity, incomprehensible demoralization....and I feel great (still stressed, but able to deal with it) 
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