Whew! Well let's see....I, too, am the classic middle child. One older sis, one younger sis. Spent my entire life trying to fix it all...keeping the peace. I was "one of those"...8 years of sobriety...relapsed. Then 3 years...relapsed. Then 4 years and relapsed. Was in AA each time. I really think that I relapsed because I thought I could "handle" it. I was "cured" after all, right?! NOT. Never went through withdrawals either (until this time). Started out with the proverbial "one" drink....Ordered it out of the blue...and I was off! Too ashamed/embarrassed to go back to meetings initially....then I figured I had no choice....had to stop. So I went again, and identified as a "newcomer" and started again each time. THIS time, though, no AA. And, I feel soooo much more responsible....for ME. I want to be sober for ME. I dunno, I think the accountability was good....and I did work the steps each time....so I have somewhat of a foundation in AA....but, bottom line for me....I have to want it for ME....to keep it. I did have to give up my friends/drinking buddies each time...and I definitely avoided slippery places....had to in order to make it through early sobriety. Later, though, it didn't much matter where I went or who I hung out with....I was not a drinker. This time, it was about moving away from everyone and anything that in any way made me accountable....definitely a what the he!! attitude. Everyone (or so I thought) who comes here is on vacation, and is here to party! I wanted to be a "part of" that....now I realize that I LIVE here. This is MY LIFE. Cannot afford, nor do I want, to be drunk/hungover for the rest of it....BTW, Driver...I wanted to name my oldest daughter Alexandra.....but in the 80's it was all too common
At the time, my (then) husband (also) had Russian/Ukrainian heritage....so we were looking for Russian/Ukranian names. You know how HARD that is for girls' names???? We ended up with Natascha Alexis....and the second daughter was named Katya Anastasia....