FreeFall

Thanks for suggestions R4R! I have plenty that I like to do, I just can't find anything that she enjoys or can do to pass the time. Working on just accepting that this is the way it is and it's not going to get easier-fighting and resisting it won't change anything. Glad your trip was so rewarding in so many ways-sounds like it was a much needed break. Glad your friends had fun with no alcohol too-huge!

Sentso, congrats on 6 months-today is our day Hardly seems possible. I know it wouldn't have been without all of you here so a big THANKS!!

Mel12

Thanks to all! We July 2012 members started at the same time, and will finish together in success. Yes to that.

Mel

friday13

Hi, hope it's ok to join. I had my last drink on the 26th July so coming up to the six month mark (wow that sounds like a long time!). I think I'm still adjusting to sober life. Trying to get the balance right between being social but keeping safe and not becoming a hermit to avoid difficult situations. I'm feeling like the initial euphoria of being sober is rubbing off and now I'm out of rehab (I left almost 4 weeks ago) I'm struggling a bit.

I just hoped that maybe as we are all at the same stage time wise others might be experiencing similar things and have some suggestions of what helped or could just relate.

Sentso

Thank you FreeFall. I forgot to celebrate it.
I'm quite busy. We're on tour in Australia, and I don't have much time.
By the end on the month it'll be over, and I'll be free to focus on what really interests me now. I can't wait.

I've had huge cravings for alcohol recently. I was so used to drinking and taking xanax on the plane and at the airport, it felt weird not to do that. And being on tour in a foreign country again is a big trigger for me. Plus I don't really want to be here, and drinking would make time pass faster...

But soon it'll be over, I'm not worried. I simply didn't except cravings like that.

Tonight I feel like a hermit. It certainly doesn't feel good, but I didn't have any other solution than to leave. There's a dinner/party with several other bands, and they're all drinking a lot, and also smoking a lot. I ate quickly and went to my room discretely.

Those situations are really complicated. I usually try to face them and be social, but tonight it was simply too much.

I'm really exhausted (still jet lagged), I'd better go to bed.

Have a good night/day everyone, and keep it up!

Dee74

Hope it's not too hot for you sentso

I might be biased but there's a lot to see and do in Australia - I hope you'll end up enjoying your time here rather than dreading it

D

Sentso

Unfortunately Dee we don't have much time to do or see things here! We have a flight almost everyday.

It was so hot in Adelaide, a couple days ago!

Dee74

I hate the quickspeed tours.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the time best you can anyway

D

Sentso

Thank you Dee.
I hope everything's alright with you.
Ill come by when I have more time.
Good night/day (I'm very confused right now, haha)

Really4Real

Sentso and FF.... congrats on the big 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really tired right now. Battling some 'character defects'. wrist is healing nicely... but I'm not very happy with myself in general. Going to go eat and watch Green Hornet.

Really4Real

Ok, I'm back and I see that I'm talking to myself... since no one else has been on here for days either

Freaked out a bit yesterday. Made an emergency call to my psychiatrist who graciously saw me (wasn't supposed to see him for 3 more weeks). Ran 4 miles in the morning on the way home thought 'a six-pack sounds really good' - said no way to that. Then thoughts of self-harming arose.... made it the day without that. By the time I got home I was hyper with anxiety on the way. Got to his office and wanted to curl up on his waiting room couch and cry. So, guess what? I'm on yet ANOTHER med.... trilepital which when I looked it up - it's for bipolar people!

I think I would like to stop all meds and start over. But I won't, if I think I feel messed up now... it would really mess me up.

So, how is everyone else????

FreeFall

Welcome Friday13! Definitely join us here-it's a nice crowd, but a busy one these days. I can relate to what you're feeling definitely. Winter isn't helping any, being cooped up in the house and things looking gray.

R4R sorry your anxiety got you so stressed. Glad the doctor could see you to help you. Deep breaths!! That meds thing sounds like a vicious cycle-are they helping enough to make it all worth it?

Sentso, sounds like it's a tough tour-I bet you'll be glad to get some breathing room when it's done. I've been having a harder time being social too. I haven't replaced alcohol with "something" and clearly I need to, just don't know what "it" is.

I'm having such a hard time with mom it's zapping all my enthusiasm and momentum. I feel like a hostage, and then feel guilty because someday I'll miss these days. Today she's being like a toddler and I'm out of patience. Sorry to vent-want to counteract the AV who is having a field day today lol

Dee74

I'm taking a little break guys - see you when I get back

D

Really4Real

We'll miss you Dee.... how long it 'little'???

Thanks FF.... and hi to Sentso and everyone else.
AV sucks - tell it where to go (and not somewhere nice either!).
That's what I did Monday. I was basically saying, "Go back to hell where you came from, because I aint' going back to the hell you put me through". Hey, I think I like that quote

SmittyBittyBoo

Stopping in! I'm still hanging in. It was 6 months on the 9th.

I've been craving lately. I guess I will get back reading RR. For so long I've been so thrilled with my sobriety. I still am but there is no euphoria today. I know it will pass whether I drink or not. So I'm posting here to keep accountable.

FreeFall

Great quote R4R!

Glad you checked in Smitty. The euphoria stage has definitely passed. Ironically because we're doing well with it, we are probably now dealing with accepting our new way of life. Different from say two months ago where we were wondering if it were even possible for us to stop.

Rough week so far. Two friends have passed away unexpectedly. Both in their early 70's. Both are leaving behind devastated partners who are also friends. Both partners are people who will turn to drinking to deal with their loss. Worried for both of them.

Dee, enjoy your break! You deserve some time away to relax

Sentso

Dee, your more than deserve a break! Enjoy it! Hope everything's good.

R4R, I may have missed a few messages, but how is your wrist?
Searching for the right med is not easy. One of my friend was diagnosed bipolar and prescribed Lamictal, but she stopped the meds after a year to focus on "alternative" ways of healing. But I remember before that her doctor kept prescribing different meds (including a mood stabilizer which was absolutely awful... no more joy, no more sadness, no emotions).
The whole thing made me very paranoid about psychiatric drugs.

I really hope you find the right way and get better R4R.

FreeFall I'm so sorry about your friends.


I am in Hong Kong, where we played last night. I've been sick for two days, and haven't left my hotel room except to go play. The good thing is that it made the AV go away! The bad thing is I can't even go out to visit the city.
We're flying back tonight, which is a relief.
I can't believe how hard it was not to drink these past ten days. It was like a huge 6-months test!

SBB, I completely understand, I really feel the same. Sobriety was really exciting cause it was new, and a challenge, but after 6 months it's not as exciting (though it's still, more than ever, a challenge)

Lately I've been wondering if I was really an alcoholic after all, or if it was just a phase and I could return to drinking more normally at some point. I guess it was only the AV speaking. Better not think about the future. One day at a time.
I met an amazing musician, who was drinking a lot before going on stage, and could still play and sing amazingly well. She was a very inspiring musician and person, but she made me want to drink so bad...

Anyways

It's good to know that we're all experiencing the same cravings after 6 months. At least we're not alone!

Ok, gotta return to bed or watch another Sopranos episodes, I'm too exhausted. Sorry for this very disorganized message.

I think about you all, and wish you the best. Keep it up! It's a tough month, but we're gonna make it!

Really4Real

Sentso..... You needed that for the comment of maybe i"m not an alcoholic and can drink normally bullcrap! But I did it in love :ghug3 Don't EVEN go there. I did at least 5 times or so... each time I wound up back here. Why even risk it? Life IS Good without it. It's poison and it messes up your mind. You have your mind back, don't lose it again (or I will come and find you and well, I don't know)

Thanks FF... I think I'll put that as my new signature quote when I get to 7 months.

SBB..... GREAT to hear from you!!!! Please post more - we really can't afford to become complacent at this stage.... I'd love to hear from you more

Mood Stabilizer didn't make me sick this morning. I was able to run and pretty good at that. Still concerned with how many meds I'm taking, but I'll trust that the docs know what they're doing.

Have a wonderful day, my Julian friends.... Love you all

Dee74

That was me..until it wasn't...I went from being mecurial to being unreliable and unhireable.

noone gets out of paying the piper...

I don't know any of my musical idols who still drink or take drugs..there something in that I think.

we all think that at one time or another.
I think you know the truth Sentso

glad you're feeling better R4R
D

SmittyBittyBoo

Totally the AV Sentso.

You know someone told me people probably wouldn't notice I wasn't drinking. They totally commented on it. They all asked if i was pregnant! I ended up skipping a work party because I was too nervous that I would cave. It is where I caved last year when I justified a couple beers. I mean I knew I could do it but oh well.

friday13

SBB: It sounds like you made the right choice if it would have put you under unnecessary stress. At least people were asking if you were pregnant because you weren't drinking. I changed meds to something less dangerous when I was drinking and gained 2 stone all on my stomach so I had lots of people asking if I was pregnant. It's a wonderful feeling when you have to say "no, I got fat"... Since stopping drinking and going back on my old meds I've lost a stone and no longer look pregnant so all is well

I'll be six months sober tomorrow. It's amazing to think I had my last drink at about 6am 6 months ago. Never thought I'd make it this far.