Class of July 2012 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
I'm really struggling with motivation. I'm just so tired all the time. I have an assignment due tomorrow at midday for uni and I'm not even half way through it. I've been unwell with thyroid related issues (hypothyroidism but unsure if it's secondary, autoimmune or something else) and I'm having a biopsy of a nodule on my thyroid soon. While I'm grateful I'm sober and able to go have these tests (I missed the first ultrasound because of drinking) I am frustrated that I have been having tests for over 6 months and I'm still not sure what's wrong with me and still have no treatment.
Sorry for moaning. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and wanted to let it out. Any advice on getting motivated or working with constant tiredness?
Sorry for moaning. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and wanted to let it out. Any advice on getting motivated or working with constant tiredness?
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Grazfather, congrats on 6 months! Didn't it feel like a really big milestone? Hard work, but worth it. Glad you checked in 
R4R sounds like you have a lot going on at once. Hard to slay all the dragons at once-choose your battles so you don't get too overwhelmed. Stick with the doctors you feel comfortable with-just because someone is qualified doesn't mean they're the right one for everyone. I think there has to be a good fit especially with something so intensely personal.
Friday13 that sounds really frustrating with all the tests and no results. Have you tried Melatonin for sleeping? I found that helped a lot. Also white noise, like a fan going-I can't sleep without that. If your mind races a lot at night I find that playing mindless games of bubble breaker on my phone helps. It makes me focus on something else and use a different part of my brain. Sounds weird, but it works. I hope you get some relief soon!
My friend has landed in the hospital again and I'm still so worried for her. I hate feeling helpless, especially when I know how much not drinking has helped me. I know it has to come from her, but I worry there will be a tragedy while we're waiting for her to decide she needs help and realize it has spun way out of her control.
On a good note, mom seems to be asleep *very quiet happy dance* lol
R4R sounds like you have a lot going on at once. Hard to slay all the dragons at once-choose your battles so you don't get too overwhelmed. Stick with the doctors you feel comfortable with-just because someone is qualified doesn't mean they're the right one for everyone. I think there has to be a good fit especially with something so intensely personal.
Friday13 that sounds really frustrating with all the tests and no results. Have you tried Melatonin for sleeping? I found that helped a lot. Also white noise, like a fan going-I can't sleep without that. If your mind races a lot at night I find that playing mindless games of bubble breaker on my phone helps. It makes me focus on something else and use a different part of my brain. Sounds weird, but it works. I hope you get some relief soon!
My friend has landed in the hospital again and I'm still so worried for her. I hate feeling helpless, especially when I know how much not drinking has helped me. I know it has to come from her, but I worry there will be a tragedy while we're waiting for her to decide she needs help and realize it has spun way out of her control.
On a good note, mom seems to be asleep *very quiet happy dance* lol
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Well, not to blow my own horn or anything, BUT I have 7 months today!
F13... Have they ruled out depression and fibromyalgia? I guess the thyroid would definitely do it. I pray that that the doctors will come to a conclusion soon for you. Also hope you get your assignment done.... or by now hope you got your assignment done
Sorry about your friend FF... I have a similiar situation. Except I think mine is abusing script meds - and calls to complain about the same things over and over and over again, but won't complain to the counselors or anyone who can REALLY help. She just won't hit bottom... I wish she would. Sleep, mom, Sleep
I'm doing good today. Had a really huge talk with about 7 on my friends last night about the cutting and on/off buliminia -- they prayed for me and it was powerful. I know I have a bit of struggle ahead of me with those, but I know I can do it - with God's help... and one day at a time.
Have a great day everyone.
F13... Have they ruled out depression and fibromyalgia? I guess the thyroid would definitely do it. I pray that that the doctors will come to a conclusion soon for you. Also hope you get your assignment done.... or by now hope you got your assignment done
Sorry about your friend FF... I have a similiar situation. Except I think mine is abusing script meds - and calls to complain about the same things over and over and over again, but won't complain to the counselors or anyone who can REALLY help. She just won't hit bottom... I wish she would. Sleep, mom, Sleep
I'm doing good today. Had a really huge talk with about 7 on my friends last night about the cutting and on/off buliminia -- they prayed for me and it was powerful. I know I have a bit of struggle ahead of me with those, but I know I can do it - with God's help... and one day at a time.
Have a great day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
Congratulation R4R! The days slowly add up don't they?
Got my assignment in with 4 minutes to spare! I have bipolar so depression is something I've struggled with for a long time. I'd say this is mild depression but that's a symptom of hypothyroidism so I hope when I start treatment it will go. I think it's just a matter of realising my limitations and not beating myself up for needing to have naps.
Got my assignment in with 4 minutes to spare! I have bipolar so depression is something I've struggled with for a long time. I'd say this is mild depression but that's a symptom of hypothyroidism so I hope when I start treatment it will go. I think it's just a matter of realising my limitations and not beating myself up for needing to have naps.
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
F13... no beating yourself up.... that's better left to us 
Actually, I've had a pretty good sober time. Yeah, going through ups and downs, but I haven't picked up a drink. That's totally amazing to me.
Actually, I've had a pretty good sober time. Yeah, going through ups and downs, but I haven't picked up a drink. That's totally amazing to me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
^Don't feel alone!
Had a drinking dream last night. I was drinking some kind of pink grapefruit spirit (which I am not even sure exists and I think may have been because in detox I drank loads of fizzy pink grapefruit) and I wasn't sure if I should just carry on drinking since I'd broken my sobriety. When I woke up I was a bit confused but once I realised it was a dream I was ok. I'm going round to a friends for a games night and they will be drinking but if it gets too much I will just leave.
Hows everyone else this weekend?
Had a drinking dream last night. I was drinking some kind of pink grapefruit spirit (which I am not even sure exists and I think may have been because in detox I drank loads of fizzy pink grapefruit) and I wasn't sure if I should just carry on drinking since I'd broken my sobriety. When I woke up I was a bit confused but once I realised it was a dream I was ok. I'm going round to a friends for a games night and they will be drinking but if it gets too much I will just leave.
Hows everyone else this weekend?
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Friday I had my first drinking dream last week. It was very disorienting to wake up and confusing. I also didn't drink my usual drink in the dream. Wasn't it a relief to know it wasn't real?
R4R Congrats on 7 months! Great job! It is amazing how the days add up quickly. Glad you had a good experience with your friends and were able to talk things out. Maybe if you apply some of the same tools that are keeping you sober to the other things you're struggling with you would have similar success?
Did anyone get hit by the storm? We did. So thankful to have power and internet again. I think I'm more addicted to the internet than I was to booze lol
R4R Congrats on 7 months! Great job! It is amazing how the days add up quickly. Glad you had a good experience with your friends and were able to talk things out. Maybe if you apply some of the same tools that are keeping you sober to the other things you're struggling with you would have similar success?
Did anyone get hit by the storm? We did. So thankful to have power and internet again. I think I'm more addicted to the internet than I was to booze lol
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Drinking dreams do stink like crazy.... I've had a few of them - one last week. It was vodka and I figured I might as well keep drinking. Then woke up before I could
FF - glad everything is back on and ok. Also, you are exactly right... I'm on Steps 8&9 and was reading about them in it was either the Little Red Book or A Program for You.. and it said that we can apply the same concepts to other emotional baggage or 'stuff' in our lives. Actually any addiction or whatever.
I'm doing ok today. Going to see psych at 5. Still getting hyper and anxious about twice a week where nothing calms me down. Need to learn to calm down......
FF - glad everything is back on and ok. Also, you are exactly right... I'm on Steps 8&9 and was reading about them in it was either the Little Red Book or A Program for You.. and it said that we can apply the same concepts to other emotional baggage or 'stuff' in our lives. Actually any addiction or whatever.
I'm doing ok today. Going to see psych at 5. Still getting hyper and anxious about twice a week where nothing calms me down. Need to learn to calm down......
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Well, psych guy bumped my mood stabilizer up to 300mg. Still low dose. Between me and my hubby, I can't keep track of what is due when! They're getting closer together though. I just wish they had a generic for Cymbalta.... wouldn't have to pay $30 to get it... only 10.
Anyways, have a great day everyone... Stay sober and stay out of trouble
Anyways, have a great day everyone... Stay sober and stay out of trouble
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day! Busy day, meant to check in here earlier and never got here. Hope you got to spend the day either with someone you love, or doing something you love to do.
Update on my friend. She had to leave work today and went straight to the hospital for second time this month. This time she is asking for help so that is really hopeful. The denial is ending, finally. I pray she gets into a program that will help her get back on track. At least now I can help a little, if she is admitting it and we can talk honestly.
Update on my friend. She had to leave work today and went straight to the hospital for second time this month. This time she is asking for help so that is really hopeful. The denial is ending, finally. I pray she gets into a program that will help her get back on track. At least now I can help a little, if she is admitting it and we can talk honestly.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Thanks Dee! She checked herself into a rehab today with her family's support so that's about the best scenario for right now. She does have the option of checking herself out at any time, which is going to be tricky. I'm sure she's feeling miserable right now, but we can't contact her for support. Prayers are appreciated!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
Wishing your friend lots of luck and strength FF. She is lucky to have a friend like you.
I'm having a bit of a wobble at the moment. I went to a domestic abuse course at the alcohol service on Tuesday as even though I was never abused in any relationships (in my opinion, others may disagree) they thought it might be useful to look at some of the behaviours I have put up with from men in the past that have been harmful. It left me thinking a lot about past relationships and the physical and emotional abuse I witnessed and the emotional abuse I experienced growing up. Thankfully I see a therapist so I was able to take those feelings somewhere but it's left me quite vulnerable. I'm not going to drink but it has been more of a battle this week than it has for a while.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far
I'm having a bit of a wobble at the moment. I went to a domestic abuse course at the alcohol service on Tuesday as even though I was never abused in any relationships (in my opinion, others may disagree) they thought it might be useful to look at some of the behaviours I have put up with from men in the past that have been harmful. It left me thinking a lot about past relationships and the physical and emotional abuse I witnessed and the emotional abuse I experienced growing up. Thankfully I see a therapist so I was able to take those feelings somewhere but it's left me quite vulnerable. I'm not going to drink but it has been more of a battle this week than it has for a while.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
These lyrics say it all when it comes to my update and my thanks for your posts:
"I'm still alive and well, still alive and well
Every now and then I know it's kind of hard to tell
But I'm still alive and well"
(Johnny Winter)
"I'm still alive and well, still alive and well
Every now and then I know it's kind of hard to tell
But I'm still alive and well"
(Johnny Winter)
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Hey Mel.. nice lyrics - we are alive and well. More alive than we have ever been.
Unfortunately, being more alive means totally alive... emotions and looking at past stuff sometimes - F13. I'm there with you. Sometimes I feel rage rising up just to the surface, but can't let it come all the way out unless I can hit/throw/bash something in... cutting myself is NOT an option... at least I'm trying not to have it as an option. Then there are times I'm really, really sad and depressed. And want to cry, which I've found IS cleansing and a GOOD thing and ALLOWABLE. If it gets really bad - see about meds... I was totally against them at first... still not to keen on them... but they've calmed me down to a low roar. And I'm not abusing them - which I know is totally by the grace and mercy of God.
We all have our own roads to walk upon... most of them are similar in some way.
FF... Your friend checking in herself is a very good sign. My friend I think is still in the hospital, trying to find out now. I was advised not to go and see her or call her or anything, because she was still wanting to get out of there. And it would've been the same old stuff I'd be hearing and the same old answers I'd be giving. If she's still there, I think I'm going to see her today... it's been a week - maybe it's calmed her down somewhat.
Hi Dee - Hope you are well on the other side of the planet - a place on the planet that is actually on my 'bucket list'... well, if I had a 'bucket list' it would be there. Right up there with Alaska... I know, I'm strange, right? But I'm sober.
Unfortunately, being more alive means totally alive... emotions and looking at past stuff sometimes - F13. I'm there with you. Sometimes I feel rage rising up just to the surface, but can't let it come all the way out unless I can hit/throw/bash something in... cutting myself is NOT an option... at least I'm trying not to have it as an option. Then there are times I'm really, really sad and depressed. And want to cry, which I've found IS cleansing and a GOOD thing and ALLOWABLE. If it gets really bad - see about meds... I was totally against them at first... still not to keen on them... but they've calmed me down to a low roar. And I'm not abusing them - which I know is totally by the grace and mercy of God.
We all have our own roads to walk upon... most of them are similar in some way.
FF... Your friend checking in herself is a very good sign. My friend I think is still in the hospital, trying to find out now. I was advised not to go and see her or call her or anything, because she was still wanting to get out of there. And it would've been the same old stuff I'd be hearing and the same old answers I'd be giving. If she's still there, I think I'm going to see her today... it's been a week - maybe it's calmed her down somewhat.
Hi Dee - Hope you are well on the other side of the planet - a place on the planet that is actually on my 'bucket list'... well, if I had a 'bucket list' it would be there. Right up there with Alaska... I know, I'm strange, right? But I'm sober.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Mel, good to hear from you-glad you checked in and are doing well!
Friday13, it is hard to look back on painful relationships, and to analyze our behavior and reactions to some of those situations. Soul searching sober isn't as easy as soul searching with your drinking buddies is it? Of course when you do it sober you actually get to deal with the feelings and move forward...harder to deal with emotional abuse from your childhood issues-I'm glad you have a therapist to help you. It's okay to feel vulnerable, just pamper yourself and be kind to yourself.
R4R hope your friend is okay!! Did you go to see her?
Sentso, happy 7 months. It just slid right by and I realized today it had passed. Lucky 7 for all? Let's hope so!
Friday13, it is hard to look back on painful relationships, and to analyze our behavior and reactions to some of those situations. Soul searching sober isn't as easy as soul searching with your drinking buddies is it? Of course when you do it sober you actually get to deal with the feelings and move forward...harder to deal with emotional abuse from your childhood issues-I'm glad you have a therapist to help you. It's okay to feel vulnerable, just pamper yourself and be kind to yourself.
R4R hope your friend is okay!! Did you go to see her?
Sentso, happy 7 months. It just slid right by and I realized today it had passed. Lucky 7 for all? Let's hope so!
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
FF... yeah, I went to go see her... she's the same... wants out. There's no way she can take care of herself though. Sad.
Sentso.... Congrats on your 7 Months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking about checking out some other threads... I think there's a 6 month and over one somewhere. Kind of getting too quiet in here..... Don't worry, I won't leave
Sentso.... Congrats on your 7 Months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking about checking out some other threads... I think there's a 6 month and over one somewhere. Kind of getting too quiet in here..... Don't worry, I won't leave
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
