FreeFall

R4R have you ever gotten a second opinion on all these meds? It seriously seems like an awful lot of medications to get you through the day to me. Is it safe to take all 3 like that-wouldn't there be interactions? I've heard of people on one of those, but never on all at the same time regularly. If you google side effects with the 3 drug names together it's kind of scary. Especially if you're someone that hates meds...it seems odd your doctor wants to see you get to a higher dosage too-wouldn't they want to see you healthy and needing less meds ideally?

grazfather

Hi July Peeps!!!!! 128 days today!!!! Last drink July 31. I continue this journey with (My) God & AA. I love my program & my life of late. This is how I got here. AA meetings daily & often more than one a day, I have attended 3/4 meetings a day on multiple occasions. I have a home group, a sponsor a spirtual sponsor (Whom I just did mt 5th step with). I have a coffee commitment till the end of February and now love walking into the rooms after cowering back the first few weeks in. I pick up people when they need a ride to a meeting. Things are changing, IN A HURRY!!!! I have found the steps are my solution & found groups that DO NOT subscribe to the theory "Go Slow Go far". There question to me when I asked how long it takes to get better???? How far are YOU on the steps. 6 & 7 are done. I have begun looking at ammends and have a list of names that I will soon go over with my sponsor. A bit less selfish & a bit more interested in others, a little less greedy and some more giving back. More Patience, Tolerance, modesty, faith!!! I know I have plenty of work to do, but I have done the work that has been asked of me so far and am now seeing REAL CHANGE!!!! Go slow??? Yea, maybe but I have find a better way. Just like the BB said!!!!!! Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really4Real

Hey, welcome GF.... You sound like you really like the whole AA thing. I'm ok with it. Doing the steps... been actually working on my 4th and 5th for the last 10 years in therapy. It's just the matter of getting it on paper.

FF... yeah, the klonopin is kicking my butt. I don't know if I should take the second dose later or not. Trying to figure out if my body just needs to get used to it or not. See my therapist next Monday, so I'll talk it out with him. My doctor did say that I could give it another shot at the psychiatrist and if I don't think he's working out, then I can always switch. Blah, blah, blah.

I'm going to try to search for some of our peeps..... concerned about them.

Today is the BIG 5 for me!! Can't wait to see my sponsor so I can get my coin

Have a wonderfully sober day, my friends.

FreeFall

R4R Congrats on the Big 5!! Standing O Definitely something to be cheerful about. Glad you're talking to your doctor about all the meds. I get nervous about meds because sometimes I think they just mask the problems and can do more harm than good. Sometimes people truly need them to balance their moods and sometimes they need to get to the bottom what causes the depression instead. Each person is different so hard to find the right formula.

Grazfather, glad you checked in and I'm glad you have found a program that fits your needs so well. Sounds like you are happy and making great strides. Congrats on 128 days.

I just wanted to say if anyone from our July group is here lurking but slipped and is embarrassed to check in please let us know you're here so we don't worry about you. No judgements here-we're all in the same boat and are here to help each other. Sometimes it takes a ton of tries to get something right-ask anyone who has ever water skied lol

Dee74

congrats on the big 5 R4R

D

FreeFall

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend so far! I've been trying to do holiday things with mom which she really enjoys, but I'm starting to feel like a grinch. Tired and sick of holiday cheer lol

I think I'm doing this recovery thing all wrong-aren't you supposed to lose weight, have more energy, and more money when you quit? I seem to be gaining weight, have less energy than before, and am more broke than ever. Frustrating! I try to cut myself some slack because it is a huge thing to be quitting but I want that magic wand damnit!

iwillwait

Hi all! I'm still hanging in. This month I feel as though the cloud over my head has been lifted a little. We'll see if that continues as I enter the rough part of my cycle. Sorry if it's TMI but I've been riding a pretty rough PMS cycle for the past, I don't know, year or two, that keeps getting worse. I think being sober allows me to see it more for what it is. But feeling good for now. I am excited about the holidays.

I went to my first happy hour sober last week. People are so odd about insisting someone else has a drink. Are they that self conscious about their own drinking? Do they think another person simply cannot enjoy themselves like they are if they choose water? I did choose water with a lemon, and simply told everyone that I had a lot to get done after.

I hope everyone else is well! They are already stocking up the champagne for New Years. Isn't it nice to not NEED that to have a good time?

Really4Real

IWW... Agreed... nice to NOT HAVE to drink... we dont' need it anymore. You could be a little down just because the time of year. Darker sooner all that.... At least I'd like to see the sun now and then

Thanks for all the well- wishes. I had a super busy weekend on my second job (making buckeyes) -- three more batches to go (of 160 that takes about 2.5-3 hours). Go work out, chiropractor, drop buckeyes, see therapist today. Off work, cuz I worked on Saturday.

Anyway.... love you all and yes, please lurking peeps. Tell us how you are please. We can at least keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

FreeFall

IWillWait glad you checked in and glad things are going well. It is odd how people really want you to drink along with them. I don't ever remember pressuring someone when they weren't drinking. Probably because I knew I had a problem and knew they were doing the right thing. There will probably be a lot of it during holiday season so we have to be extra prepared.

Having a bad couple of weeks with mom-the hospital stay really zapped her and she's been off her game which means I get no work done and am pulling my hair out being trapped in the house. She doesn't read anymore, can't do puzzles, not into tv, and has the attention span of a gnat. Oy!!! End of rant. I keep telling myself how much worse this would be hungover and queasy lol

Really4Real

Ranting is an ok thing here, FF

Wow.... really slow here this week. I'm doing good, just busy. Making buckeyes and keeping out of trouble for the most part. No drinking anyway.
Still a bit obsessed about my wrist tattoo. Psychiatrist said it was because it relaxes me. He said I need to learn to relax and rest. Things that I can't do very well at all.
And the fact that my mind is quieting down is perplexing.... for a former DID/MPD person. I haven't had that for 45 years. And, my therapist said it's what's normal. Most people don't have flitting thoughts of everything or have a need to analyze something to death. Most people have a thought here and there and do what ever it is or write it down or whatever. It's a new life for me. Learning new coping strategies, learning that the silence is ok.

Ok, enough said. Happy thursday.

Really4Real

Judy, great on the weight/inches loss!!!! Way to go, girl!

Well, Monday I ran three miles in my Vibrams... felt good.
Tues was 550 steps in between making buckeyes.
Wed was my gait analysis.... slight overstride and need to 'push the world behind me' instead of pulling it toward me.... also need to make sure my foot hits more in line with my body. And I hop a lot.... she said that since I run trails that's ok, but not running track and roads.
Today I tried the above and ran 3 miles in 30:49.... NICE
Off day tomorrow and then I think I'll try for 8 on Saturday!

Sentso

Hi everyone

Sorry for my silence. I'm alright. A bit down these days. I'm home, which is kinda weird after months on the road. And I just wanna get out of here, but we still have a gig next week and then a couple weeks in January. It's frustrating to be in this "in between", having already quit, but waiting for the proper end to come.

I've been mostly thinking and listening to music recently. A lot of music by Bach, whom I just discovered. It's really amazing. Music can be that selfless and powerful. You really feel the presence of God. It's a little cliché but I can't describe it otherwise.

Don't feel like drinking at all now, but I had thoughts about drinking when we do the last bit of touring in January for a couple weeks... Just to make it ok, cause I really don't wanna go. It won't happen of course. I won't let it. But I was surprised the thoughts were still there.

Iwillwait, I'm a bit anxious about seeing my family for Christmas, cause I know they'll find it weird that I don't drink at all. But I'm used to it now. Can't be worse than the reactions of the people I work with! Congrats on your first sober happy hour!

FreeFall, sorry about mum. I hope you're alright though, and yes things would be much more complicate if you were drunk/hangover!

Congrats R4R!! 5 months is awesome. For me it's gonna be in a few days. I can't believe it!

Good day/night!

Really4Real

Hey Sentso.... I get lost in music too sometimes. I listen mostly to Christian stuff... sometimes 'hard' rock, sometimes rock, sometimes slow stuff. But lately, cuz of Christmas, it's been the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.... which uh-hum - WE NOW HAVE TICKETS FOR THE 26TH I'm just a little excited - hehehe...

Sentso, so is it 5 for you yet? I looked on your profile... but just has joined date.

Everyone elso when it yours so we can properly cyberly celebrate!

Psychiatrist I think is going to slowly wean me off the cymbalta and raise the wellbutrin so I'll only be on that and maybe the klonopin. I'm waiting until after the holidays though. Dealing with Abandonment issues.... rough... got through the hard crying/hyperventilating stuff of it all last week, but still it's a grief process. Realized it wasn't just parents who abandoned me physically, emotionally, etc... but there was a whole slew of others who I started naming who I felt abandoned by, either physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.... It hurt, it still hurts, but for the grace of God - He knows how to comfort hurting hearts.

Gotta go, but I'm doing well with the not drinking. Holidays are hard though so let's make sure to post at least every other day - something, anything... just to stick together during this time, deal?

FreeFall

Sorry I haven't checked in. Have been emotionally wrung out from the CT tragedy. I used to teach young children, and I grew up near there so I can't get my mind off it. It also occurred to me it's the first big traumatic thing I'm dealing with 100% sober. Trying to focus on the good that the horror has inspired but it's hard to keep the faith during something like this.

R4R glad they're going to downsize some of the meds. It sounds like you have some hard things to get through, but you remain positive and I think that will stand you well.

Sentso and I quit same day so we made the 5 month mark! Exciting!

Really4Real

Congrats FF and Sentso! 5 MONTHS is WAY COOL!

I'm really tired today. I blame the meds. But ok.... at least I'm not bouncing off the walls.

Sober and really starting to feel good about that... especially around the holidays... it's cool to go shopping and not spend more than intended because I was too drunk to know what I was buying!!!

Love you guys and keep strong!

FreeFall

Usually at this time of year I'm so stressed and frazzled it's unreal. This year, everything is going at a nice pace, I've had time to relax a little, and everything is mostly done with time to spare. It's a little scary lol There were several spots where I'd think "this is when I'd normally be heading for the bar" but it felt good to keep going instead of bringing everything to a halt to drink and trying to make up for lost time with a raging headache the next day.

R4R so true about the shopping. I'd be more famous for buying twice because I'd forget who I already had covered...then be even more broke...

Sentso

Hi! I'm glad you feel good FF and R4R, especially at this time of year!

I'm doing ok.
We have a gig tonight. The last one before the little 10 day tour in January. And then it'll be over.

Hey Mel, how are you doing?
You know I'm still very interested in hearing what you have to say about this:

xx

Really4Real

Hey Sentso and FF and everyone else...

Looks like our numbers are dwindling But we're here.... as long as someone is here, then it's good).

Dee... where are you? what's going on?

Have fun with the gig, Sentso.

Catch y'all later.

FreeFall

Still here, still buried in holiday stuff and CT mourning. Counting Crows said it...It's been a long December! I'll be glad when January rolls around and things quiet down a little.

Hope everyone is still checking in even if they're not posting, and maybe January will bring everyone back to us!

Dee74

I'm here
Christmas is our busiest time tho - there's always a huge influx of newbies...

I'm still reading tho - great to see how you guys are still looking after yourselves and each other

D