Really4Real

I agree FF.
We're still here and as long as we try to post something every once in a while then at least we'll still be in touch.

I tried to go over to the under a year or something that thread. Can't really get into it. It's hard breaking in - it's like you're crashing a party or something.

I had a bit of meltdown yesterday at work. Woke up depressed. Then angry... obsessed myself with what I was feeling so much that it made my head spin. And anxiety skyrocket. I'm sure glad I have running for a release. Yesterday I ended up doing going up and down 1008 steps and then running 3 miles. Never ran after doing steps before. And I still felt hyper!!!

Oh well, such is life. Have a good one!

FreeFall

Wow! I wish I had your kind of energy. I can barely imagine walking the steps let alone running afterwards. I wouldn't be hyper, I'd be in the ER lol

Happy 8 months to most of our class I think!!

Made it through St. Patrick's Day-most boring one ever, and it was a little depressing, but I didn't drink!!!! It was all kinds of weird to have done all sorts of productive things this morning before noon. That's a first for me on March 18th

Glad to see Obladi out and about, hope she drops in here too once in awhile!

friday13

Just popping in to say hi. I just got out of hospital on Monday after an overdose (self harm) and while I can't say I feel on top of the world, it did help. I spoke to a woman from rehab and she told my friend who is still in rehab where I was so she came to visit me which was nice. My counsellor from rehab also rung and told me I could always ring or visit which was nice. I was on the liver ward (just because they had a spare bed) and there were AA leaflets everywhere. Made me realise where my drinking could have taken me. One thing I thought was awful was that a man from AA came to speak to a patient. He knew her name (I imagine he asked a nurse) and in front of all the other patients in the bay asked if her drinking had landed her in hospital. This woman was so embarrassed and angry that a stranger knew her name (the doctors all said he was not affiliated with the hospital and should not have been given that information). I think it's great AA has a presence in the liver ward but there are ways of going about things that don't embarrass patients (for example he could have spoken to everyone and left some literature so people could contact him in a more private area).

Really4Real

Hey... just checkin in.

Yeah, F13 - that was just wrong of the AA guy. You don't broadcast things like that.... either his sponsor was a goof or he didn't have a good working knowledge of AA to do something like that. Glad you're ok.

Funny, FF... I never got into the habit of St. Patrick's Day festivities. Never had a green beer... I figured I'm going to drink it so fast it doesn't matter what color it is! Besides, I'm not Irish, I'm Scottish... so I was wearing my Scottish colors sweater on that day hehehehe.

I'm doing ok. Had a really good weekend - lots of healing going on inside of me. Lots of crying... lots of releasing pain, but it was all good. I've forgiven myself for a lot of things I've done and was able to finally really receive forgiveness from God... so onto the next part of my healing journey... this week's class was on dealing with fear. I didn't get a chance to talk... but sure as heck got triggered by some stuff others were saying.

Have a good one

least

I agree that the AA guy was totally out of line and should have been more discrete. I would have been mad too.

FreeFall

Friday13 I'm glad you're okay and out of the hospital! I'm glad you got some help and support too. I totally agree about the AA guy. It's things like that that give AA a bad name, and it's a shame. I'm not in AA but I respect how much it helps a ton of people.

Update on the friend I've been telling you about for a long time. She came out of rehab and did slip a couple of times. She hasn't gone to meetings although she talked about it. She is making a turn around though and it's great. We can now talk openly about her drinking and I've been able to tell her a lot of things I've learned here on SR that helped me. I've also been able to show up during times I know will be triggers just for support and she told me I prevented a slip. Such a relief-it's been so hard to be worried about her and not be able to help.

R4R sounds like you're doing a lot of emotional work-you have such a great attitude to keep at it and remain upbeat!

Really4Real

I'm doing fine FF... just not posting much these days. Really thankful for sobriety though and SR. I'm glad your friend is doing better.

Hi Least!

grazfather

8 months on Easter Sunday!!!!! A long period of mental obsession has lifted, It is a good feeling to have that removed through the grace of higher power and the intense work in the rooms. I recently began 9th step work and NEVER realized or knew how powerful this was going to be. Emotionally it brought out feelings I have never had in many MANY years!!!! I am looking forward to a sober summer one day at a time and plan on doing things I always wanted to do and talked about doing but was to drunk to ever do so!!! I am going to see Fleetwood Mac in Philly on Saturday and have seats very close to the stage. It will be great to see this concert sober, I can't wait!!!!! Have a happy 24 & peace.....

FreeFall

Grazfather, congrats on your 8 months and great progress!! Have a great time at the concert-I would love to see Fleetwood Mac live! I think it's one of the best parts of being sober-not putting things off, and doing things you couldn't do while drinking. So many options open up.

My friend's recovery turned out to be very short lived, unfortunately. She did okay for about a week or so, but is now back to drinking and denying it again.
I think it's going to take some severe consequences to make it all sink in, and am praying it won't come to an irreversible health issue. It's hard to be at the point where I just throw up my hands but that's where I'm at.

I am now trying to quit smoking too, and things I've learned here are helping so much.

Hope you all are enjoying the weekend and staying on track!! Check in and let us know how you're doing!!

Really4Real

Good Job Graz!!!!!!

9 months for me yesterday. Been really busy with hubby sick and being an invalid and stuff. money concerns big-time and other concerns... try to let go and God. change what i can.

Little depressed today. Was on top of the world this morning. Wondering if I took my mood stabilizer for today....

FF - Good luck and prayers your way on quitting smoking.... it's a tough one, but it can be done. 6 years this month for me.

Dee74

Congratulations on 9 months R4R

D

Really4Real

Hey guys... I'm still trudging along... just wanted you to know. Still in the game and working on some other self-defeating habits now. That's hard because I really do have to find new ways of coping with stuff.
Psychiatrist has me on meds and keeps raising them... don't like that. I'm trying to totally stay away from the Xanax and cut the Klonopin down to 1 1/2 mg three times per day instead of 2 mg.

Anyway, sorry FF about your friend. Hopefully, she'll get back up and try again.

Nice 'signature' Dee!

Dee74

Thanks R4R

D

iwillwait

Hiya! I forgot to come around for awhile. I am still sober, although I gave myself "permission" to drink at the beginning of the year on occasion. I haven't wanted to break the streak. Something in me really needs to make it through a full year. I also think I wish to go back to drinking nightly, not occasionally, but I wish to live more.

Still single. Lol. I tried online dating but was terrified and mentally exhausted before I got started. How do you meet new people, alone, sober, when you have panic disorder?

Terrible tragedy in Boston today. I hope they find answers soon.

I am running 4 times a week. Trying to limit increases as my knees give me problems and I get back and butt pain. Running has been a means to deal with emotion and pain. Things alcoholics suck at. And now we can't hide from.

On the pain note, I've tried both muscle relaxers and amitriptyline. I'm flip flopping back and forth and can't help but think the medicine has just replaced the alcohol in the evening, and I'm not really learning anything new.

Hope you are all well and I enjoyed catching up on your struggles and achievements.

Dee74

I hope you do wait the full year at least, iwillwait...living really is something awesome
what have you been doing to make your life as you want it?

D

iwillwait

For one, I have let go of what I think I should be doing and started doing what I want to be doing. If this means I am happy sitting in front of the TV or on the internet in the evenings instead of out and about so be it.

Like I said, I attempted the meet new people via online thing and quit quickly. Not ready yet. I am still avoiding some situations. Maybe it's not what I want right now. I'm not sure.

I got off my azz and I'm running through the pain. I am controlling what I eat again, probably to an obsessive degree but it helps me feel in control of my life. I feel a little better about myself because of it.

I know I need some counseling. I'm not sure if/when I will get it.

grazfather

Hey all, Checkin' in!!!! Let you know Fleetwood Mac was a blast Sober!!! I can do this!!! My wife and I went into a place before the show just outside of Phillys Sports Complex (Phils, Flyers, Sixers etc...). The atmosphere in there was very VERY alcohol intense!! The Flyers were on the big screens the Phils were about to start & the concert was about to go on as well. Our intentions were to get a bit to eat & then head to the arena. Well...... Long wait meant standing at or near the bar, somewhat uncomfortable & I would not recomend to all. We finally got our table and sat down and I was pretty good. I then noticed a girl (30ish) near where I was standing that was doing shot after shot. My thoughts were well, I don't know where she is headed (The game/concert?) but she wasn't going to see neither very well if she even got in the gate. She was a mess...That was me 8 1/2 months ago. we had our meal left and went to a show & had AMAZING SEATS!!!! Stevie Nicks sang the whole show about 15-20 feet away from me. I remember it all! When I left I felt so GREAT, cranked up the CD in my BMW and sang the whole ride home about 1 1/2 hours north of philly. Sober, doesn't mean giving up enjoying life, it means you get to start ENJOYING IT FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SmittyBittyBoo

Still hanging in! Sick right now but feeling good that I'm not drinking with it. I have a good friend who introduced me to here. She's back in rehab. My heart hurts for her. It amazes me how different everyone's journey is. If I didn't stop-i could be her. Its hard to watch. Anyways just stopping in to say I'm hanging in.

Dee74

good to 'see' you Smitty. I'm sorry about your friend.

D

Really4Real

Wow... thread got a little busy lately...how cool is that!

IWW... giving myself 'permission' to drink on occasion would never work for me. I would make up occasions daily... actually every day would be an occasion
I agree dealing with the emotional and mental issues suck, but it's gotta be done sometime. We've stopped hiding behind the bottle. So, time to get it through the bs and get on with our lives. There's things we can be doing to help others get through their addictions and bs. Because we've been there, done that, and overcome.

Graz... yep, for real... this is life. With it's bad times and good times.

Sorry your sick, SBB.. praying health your way.

F13... You're wonderful - start believing that. You don't need to hurt yourself - I did when I was angry... but a song came on and said 'tonight the night' and then I heard a sermon that talked about being strong and courageous and gave my knife to a friend and said I don't need this anymore. Not that the anger went away, but I'm learning to deal with that... the rage.... it's only there covering up pain... that needs to come out. Talk with someone and get it out.

Me, I'm doing life sober and still trying to stay away from the benzo's as much as possible without going hyper-spaz on everyone. Finding AA to be a help - finally found a Big Book study I like and have a lot of support at a new church I'm going to. It's inner-city and lots of people formerly addicted to something or other. They have a meeting on Fri nights. All's good. Still dealing with some stuff, but some stuff is behind me.

How you doing FF?