August Sobriety Group Pt 6
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Who here has been to the Mall of America? I was there about a year ago and have been there a few times. That place is amazing! SO HUGE! I mean, indoor roller-coasters, etc. 4 levels of pure shopping. Talk about a man's WORST dream! lol. Good thing I USED to be able to go sit at Hooters while my wife shopped. I guess I still can, but I will be drinking Sprite now. haha.
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
I've only been in Minneapolis once, and that was for a long weekend skating competition so I didn't see much. I could be there in April for another competition, but I'm going to Jamaica instead. 
I have seen the mall from the air a couple of times lol.
How's people's holiday shopping going (if you celebrate it, that is)? I'm about 3/4's done - I've never been done so early. My outside lights are up, DS and I built a fence this week to contain the dogs so I don't have to walk them in the early morning in zero temps, my house hasn't been in this good of shape cleaning-wise in years. It's amazing how much more energy and drive one has to get things done when one isn't drinking all the time!
I have seen the mall from the air a couple of times lol.How's people's holiday shopping going (if you celebrate it, that is)? I'm about 3/4's done - I've never been done so early. My outside lights are up, DS and I built a fence this week to contain the dogs so I don't have to walk them in the early morning in zero temps, my house hasn't been in this good of shape cleaning-wise in years. It's amazing how much more energy and drive one has to get things done when one isn't drinking all the time!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,940
Checking in, still sober. I've been really busy and I don't always have much to say except another day will soon pass without drinking. It gets kind of redundant, but that's a good thing. Just got home from another session of cardio-tennis, great workout. I would like to play more tennis now that I'm getting my game back, but my options are now limited to strictly indoors. We've had a nice fall but it snowed here today and winter will be here awhile now. In response to someone's question I haven't started holiday shopping yet. The past few years I've done the the majority of mine by clicking a mouse, it's much easier. Gofish, good to see you checking in, come back and join us more often.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
KC here. Been MIA for a few days but it has been a helluva busy work week. I agree that it is a busy time of year for a lot of us, so the posts will probably slack off. First off,
Midton - be careful about the "I don't drink and drive." I never did either until my 11/10 episode. My insurance went up another 25% after turning in that claim. So careful. Never say never. NOW FOR THE "DID I HIT ROCK BOTTOM YET AGAIN" STORY.
I apparently fell off the wagon on Wednesday. I say "apparently" cuz I just plain don't remember. ANY OF IT. Went to a work function where the alcohol was flowing plenty. As promised my husband, I did not drink there.... drank water and club soda. So when I got home, I "apparently" decided it was okay to drink at home. Polished off half a bottle of Tito's vodka. Yep. How do I know this?
Woke up with a serious backache. Could hardly move. Walked into our bathroom, which is connected to the bedroom and my hand towel rack was in the BATHTUB. 4 feet from where it used to hang on the wall. A small chunk of drywall is out of wall and I have a 6 inch gash on my back and a bruise the size of a baseball on my left butt cheek. NO RECOLLECTION OF HOW THIS HAPPENED. I ran downstairs to our family room and woke up hubby and said "how much vodka did I drink?" He said "why???" I said cuz look at this and showed him the injuries. He said he did not think I had that much, that I was not at all acting drunk or exhibiting any signs of being intoxicated.
I do remember getting home sober at 10:30pm. He said he came home from his event (around 11pm) and I was drinking a vodka/soda, but showed absolutely no signs of being drunk. In fact, we had a nice conversation, according to him. He slept on the couch because of his snoring and I went on up to bed. When I woke up I discovered the injuries. So there are a number of things that could have happened. I very well could have drank at the work function (doubtful) and not remember it. I could have come home and drank some vodka straight (likely) and then switched to the club soda.
In trying to recreate how this may have happened, I am guessing that I was so darned drunk that I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. When I got up, lost my balance, grabbed onto the towel rack on the wall, and with my weight pulled it off and it went flying into the tub. I must have gone flying backwards into the vanity edge, thus the big gash and the big bruise.
Dunno. Once again, only 3 weeks, I have no idea what happened. First a busted off side mirror on the car and now a busted up derriere.
I am so disappointed with myself. Especially since what happened to me on 11/10 with the drinking/driving episode. Now this. Vacation is 3-weeks away and I am worried.
To be honest, I thought about NOT posting this. I don't want to let anyone down. Then I thought that perhaps this post could help someone else. If I can't help myself, maybe I can help someone else. July of 2010 will be 4 years that I have been here...trying to beat this thing.
I keep falling down and picking myself up. Still scared about falling down and not being able to get back up. Living with a man who thinks this can all be controlled by "listening to him" doesn't help much.
Therapist is right, I think I drink to "soothe myself", but what in the heck was I trying to "soothe" on Wednesday??? Don't remember............
Take care everyone and have a great weekend.
KC
Midton - be careful about the "I don't drink and drive." I never did either until my 11/10 episode. My insurance went up another 25% after turning in that claim. So careful. Never say never. NOW FOR THE "DID I HIT ROCK BOTTOM YET AGAIN" STORY.
I apparently fell off the wagon on Wednesday. I say "apparently" cuz I just plain don't remember. ANY OF IT. Went to a work function where the alcohol was flowing plenty. As promised my husband, I did not drink there.... drank water and club soda. So when I got home, I "apparently" decided it was okay to drink at home. Polished off half a bottle of Tito's vodka. Yep. How do I know this?
Woke up with a serious backache. Could hardly move. Walked into our bathroom, which is connected to the bedroom and my hand towel rack was in the BATHTUB. 4 feet from where it used to hang on the wall. A small chunk of drywall is out of wall and I have a 6 inch gash on my back and a bruise the size of a baseball on my left butt cheek. NO RECOLLECTION OF HOW THIS HAPPENED. I ran downstairs to our family room and woke up hubby and said "how much vodka did I drink?" He said "why???" I said cuz look at this and showed him the injuries. He said he did not think I had that much, that I was not at all acting drunk or exhibiting any signs of being intoxicated.
I do remember getting home sober at 10:30pm. He said he came home from his event (around 11pm) and I was drinking a vodka/soda, but showed absolutely no signs of being drunk. In fact, we had a nice conversation, according to him. He slept on the couch because of his snoring and I went on up to bed. When I woke up I discovered the injuries. So there are a number of things that could have happened. I very well could have drank at the work function (doubtful) and not remember it. I could have come home and drank some vodka straight (likely) and then switched to the club soda.
In trying to recreate how this may have happened, I am guessing that I was so darned drunk that I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. When I got up, lost my balance, grabbed onto the towel rack on the wall, and with my weight pulled it off and it went flying into the tub. I must have gone flying backwards into the vanity edge, thus the big gash and the big bruise.
Dunno. Once again, only 3 weeks, I have no idea what happened. First a busted off side mirror on the car and now a busted up derriere.
I am so disappointed with myself. Especially since what happened to me on 11/10 with the drinking/driving episode. Now this. Vacation is 3-weeks away and I am worried.
To be honest, I thought about NOT posting this. I don't want to let anyone down. Then I thought that perhaps this post could help someone else. If I can't help myself, maybe I can help someone else. July of 2010 will be 4 years that I have been here...trying to beat this thing.
I keep falling down and picking myself up. Still scared about falling down and not being able to get back up. Living with a man who thinks this can all be controlled by "listening to him" doesn't help much.
Therapist is right, I think I drink to "soothe myself", but what in the heck was I trying to "soothe" on Wednesday??? Don't remember............
Take care everyone and have a great weekend.
KC
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
KC- Is it obvious yet that you and alcohol don't work? I know you are not happy, and alcohol only makes it worse. You can only hide behind your prestigious job and material things so long before nothing in your life makes you happy. I know because I have been there. On the outside, everything seemed perfect with everything I wanted and needed. But on the inside I was an absolute wreck! It didn't matter what I HAD, nothing made me happy. My sponsor in AA said "you were sick and tired of being sick and tired." Hit the nail right on the head. So what are you going to do to make sure this doesn't happen anymore? I am SO glad you keep coming back to this thread. It is a great source of support. But obviously in your case you need more if you have been here 4 years and still struggling. So please ask yourself what you are going to do differently this time? PLEASE? And Don't think I am trying to be hard on you. I just care and hate to see you struggling. I know you are not happy, and we ALL want to see you that way! Big hug!
As for me, day 25 sober coming to an end. I am getting ready to grab a big glass of water and a blanket and curl up in my recliner with my wife and watch a movie. Probably a chick flick, since she picked it out! haha.
Hugs to a sober weekend everyone!
As for me, day 25 sober coming to an end. I am getting ready to grab a big glass of water and a blanket and curl up in my recliner with my wife and watch a movie. Probably a chick flick, since she picked it out! haha.
Hugs to a sober weekend everyone!
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Oh Sweetie.......(KC).......I feel your pain.......if you don't mind me saying, I think your husband is an enabler...(I think this is common and this is not meant to be mean).....from all your posts he is still thinking you are "ok'.......he still offers you drinks, right? Anyway......just something to think about........ I have the same thing here...my dude thinks nothing of my drinking but I know I have to stop this madness. Like BD said.....I am getting sick of tired or being sick and tired......
Take care sweetheart.
Take care sweetheart.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,940
KC, I'm glad your here and I'm glad you posted your story. It doesn't matter that you have been on here 3+ years and are still working on soberity. A lot of us older folks have been struggling with alcohol for several years, we just didn't find a website to post our stories on as early as you. And just because you registered on SR a few years ago, doesn't mean that you should be '"cured" by now. If only it were that easy.
It sounds like you had a black out (or maybe you hit your noggin on the toilet when you fell) I'm glad you weren't driving. I can relate to your evening, and I'm guessing that you didn't drink Wednesday evening at your work function because you had to be "on." Then when you came home (and you work some long hours girl!) you may have felt justifed to relax with a drink. I've been there. Since it's late at night you need to do some speed drinking to get where you want to be, straight vodka will get you there in a hurry. After the initial buzz, if you keep drinking it straight it will whack you upside the head like a heavy weight fighter. DAMHIKT. (DAMHIKT = don't ask me how I know this).
I think you should get all alcohol out of your house. I could be wrong, but from your posts it seems like your husband doesn't understand the effect that alcohol has on you. Would he consider going to an Al Anon meeting?
It sounds like you had a black out (or maybe you hit your noggin on the toilet when you fell) I'm glad you weren't driving. I can relate to your evening, and I'm guessing that you didn't drink Wednesday evening at your work function because you had to be "on." Then when you came home (and you work some long hours girl!) you may have felt justifed to relax with a drink. I've been there. Since it's late at night you need to do some speed drinking to get where you want to be, straight vodka will get you there in a hurry. After the initial buzz, if you keep drinking it straight it will whack you upside the head like a heavy weight fighter. DAMHIKT. (DAMHIKT = don't ask me how I know this).
I think you should get all alcohol out of your house. I could be wrong, but from your posts it seems like your husband doesn't understand the effect that alcohol has on you. Would he consider going to an Al Anon meeting?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
Hi friends,
It's KC and I am still up and about tonight. You guys are so good to me. I am glad I can hang out here....I can just be myself and not worry about what the corporate world is thinking.
Hanging out here, which is better than drinking, eh? Jees, it's almost 11:30pm.......gotta get up a 7am to go get a Manicure/Pedicure for a freaking work event tomorrow night. Ugh. Gotta look my best. Will be with a celebrity, but who the hell cares? I sure don't. Such B. S. this whole corp exec thing. I wish I didn't have to go. I hate this stuff. It is so not me. Also so sad.. most would enjoy being able to attend such an event.
I worry about you guys thinking I am some stuck up bitch. I am truly not... I find myself in an executive position that I never thought possible. I have to deal with it, but can't say I really like it. I know it is hard to explain.....
BDiddy and VC - yes, you are both so correct. Yes, alcohol and me don't mix. Also, I am indeed not a happy camper at home. And yes, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Haven't been truly happy at home for awhile. I think I have climbed the ladder of success so quickly at work because I am a hard working, dedicated employee who gives 200% of her time to her job. Not to mention I am considered an expert in my field so that helps, too. :-)
My bosses see that dedication and fortunately, appreciate it, and give me the recognition and responsibility on an increasingly higher level. Staying gainfully employed is tough in this economic environment and it pains me to have to "fire" people in my division. In fact, today I was supposed to be on vacation and they called this morning - needed me to come in. I did so willingly and just got home a little while ago. I think I really enjoy being at work because that means I am not at home. I am relieved when I drive down our street and see no other car in the driveway. Sad. I remember being that way in my first marriage........
My husband is indeed an enabler. I have two books on my nightstand. CoDependent No More and Beyond Co Dependency both by Melanie Beatty. They are not for ME as the "enabler' -- they are so I can try to understand why my husband continues to enable me. I also just added the Bible that I got when I was in third grade - a gift to me from my late father, who died of alcoholism when I was only 18. I found it in a box of stuff the other day. He definitely believed in God and took me to Sunday School, I remember it well. So, I haven't really believed in God in many years, but the fact that the Bible he gave to me and the little tiny "cross" bookmark is in perfect condition...and I stumbled upon it the other day....well, what can I say. I dusted it off and am trying to read it. Not sure what I expect to get out of it.
I am even thinking of going to Church on Sunday, though I am not sure what Church to go to. Have my choice here in the neighborhood. There is a Catholic Church, a Lutheran Church, a Presbyterian Church and a Methodist Church. I was "baptised" a Methodist, and my father was Episcopalian. In fact, the last year of his life, he spent at a church sponsored drug and alcohol program at the local Episcopal Church. So not sure where I might end up. Those Catholic, Lutheran and Presbyterian Churches are within walking distance, not that I need to walk, but within 30 seconds of my driveway by car. I am afraid if it takes any longer to get there I might not go. The Methodist Church might take me two minutes to get to. I am leaning toward the Catholic Church, though I am not sure why. I did go to a Christmas Service at the Presbyterian Church about 5 years ago when Hubby and I got into a huge fight on Christmas Eve, but recall that I felt out of place. People were too eager to be my friend and it made me uncomfortable.
Speaking of friends, I have met two new women on an internet "friend" site. I am meeting one of them on Monday and the other on Friday of next week. Hopefully this will help me on my quest to find friends who are not "needy" as my therapist suggested.
VC - love your name...I feel like I am in a Vicious Cycle. NOt sure what I am going to do with my alcohol problem. If I can get to the Church on Sunday, I think it's a start. Ya think?
SR Friends, I will add that my therapist was right about my best guy friend being "unavailable" due to his job situation. He came over on Tuesday evening and we worked on his resume and I connected him with a few contacts in the business, but I have not heard a single word from him since then. Can't be because of a nasty drunken text for the no contact.... ha!! But I have to admit, I am feeling quite rejected. Another reason the therapist is right... rejection = drink. My husband was here at home when my guy friend was here....he said he could also see that guy friend would 'reject' me cuz of his own personal things going on. Regardless, it still hurts.
OK. Enough rambling on. Have the stupid black tie event tomorrow night. After getting mani/pedi tomorrow morning and then driving back home, taking care of family stuff and trying to take a nap and go to Gala, I may not be on for a few days.
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME VENT. I will figure this all out, but for now, you guys are my saviour.
KC
I WILL NOT LET HIS REJECTION MAKE ME DRINK, WILL I???????????
It's KC and I am still up and about tonight. You guys are so good to me. I am glad I can hang out here....I can just be myself and not worry about what the corporate world is thinking.
Hanging out here, which is better than drinking, eh? Jees, it's almost 11:30pm.......gotta get up a 7am to go get a Manicure/Pedicure for a freaking work event tomorrow night. Ugh. Gotta look my best. Will be with a celebrity, but who the hell cares? I sure don't. Such B. S. this whole corp exec thing. I wish I didn't have to go. I hate this stuff. It is so not me. Also so sad.. most would enjoy being able to attend such an event.
I worry about you guys thinking I am some stuck up bitch. I am truly not... I find myself in an executive position that I never thought possible. I have to deal with it, but can't say I really like it. I know it is hard to explain.....
BDiddy and VC - yes, you are both so correct. Yes, alcohol and me don't mix. Also, I am indeed not a happy camper at home. And yes, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Haven't been truly happy at home for awhile. I think I have climbed the ladder of success so quickly at work because I am a hard working, dedicated employee who gives 200% of her time to her job. Not to mention I am considered an expert in my field so that helps, too. :-)
My bosses see that dedication and fortunately, appreciate it, and give me the recognition and responsibility on an increasingly higher level. Staying gainfully employed is tough in this economic environment and it pains me to have to "fire" people in my division. In fact, today I was supposed to be on vacation and they called this morning - needed me to come in. I did so willingly and just got home a little while ago. I think I really enjoy being at work because that means I am not at home. I am relieved when I drive down our street and see no other car in the driveway. Sad. I remember being that way in my first marriage........
My husband is indeed an enabler. I have two books on my nightstand. CoDependent No More and Beyond Co Dependency both by Melanie Beatty. They are not for ME as the "enabler' -- they are so I can try to understand why my husband continues to enable me. I also just added the Bible that I got when I was in third grade - a gift to me from my late father, who died of alcoholism when I was only 18. I found it in a box of stuff the other day. He definitely believed in God and took me to Sunday School, I remember it well. So, I haven't really believed in God in many years, but the fact that the Bible he gave to me and the little tiny "cross" bookmark is in perfect condition...and I stumbled upon it the other day....well, what can I say. I dusted it off and am trying to read it. Not sure what I expect to get out of it.
I am even thinking of going to Church on Sunday, though I am not sure what Church to go to. Have my choice here in the neighborhood. There is a Catholic Church, a Lutheran Church, a Presbyterian Church and a Methodist Church. I was "baptised" a Methodist, and my father was Episcopalian. In fact, the last year of his life, he spent at a church sponsored drug and alcohol program at the local Episcopal Church. So not sure where I might end up. Those Catholic, Lutheran and Presbyterian Churches are within walking distance, not that I need to walk, but within 30 seconds of my driveway by car. I am afraid if it takes any longer to get there I might not go. The Methodist Church might take me two minutes to get to. I am leaning toward the Catholic Church, though I am not sure why. I did go to a Christmas Service at the Presbyterian Church about 5 years ago when Hubby and I got into a huge fight on Christmas Eve, but recall that I felt out of place. People were too eager to be my friend and it made me uncomfortable.
Speaking of friends, I have met two new women on an internet "friend" site. I am meeting one of them on Monday and the other on Friday of next week. Hopefully this will help me on my quest to find friends who are not "needy" as my therapist suggested.
VC - love your name...I feel like I am in a Vicious Cycle. NOt sure what I am going to do with my alcohol problem. If I can get to the Church on Sunday, I think it's a start. Ya think?
SR Friends, I will add that my therapist was right about my best guy friend being "unavailable" due to his job situation. He came over on Tuesday evening and we worked on his resume and I connected him with a few contacts in the business, but I have not heard a single word from him since then. Can't be because of a nasty drunken text for the no contact.... ha!! But I have to admit, I am feeling quite rejected. Another reason the therapist is right... rejection = drink. My husband was here at home when my guy friend was here....he said he could also see that guy friend would 'reject' me cuz of his own personal things going on. Regardless, it still hurts.
OK. Enough rambling on. Have the stupid black tie event tomorrow night. After getting mani/pedi tomorrow morning and then driving back home, taking care of family stuff and trying to take a nap and go to Gala, I may not be on for a few days.
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME VENT. I will figure this all out, but for now, you guys are my saviour.
KC
I WILL NOT LET HIS REJECTION MAKE ME DRINK, WILL I???????????
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
((KC))
Best I can say is apparently alcohol and you don't work together... like with me.
My last time out was blacked out too... tonight I finally found my ID card I lost somewhere in there. Don't even know where... but it's been stripped of its sticker for some reason.
Yeah, you helped someone, at least. Me. I've been thinking, I don't have anything to do till Monday, and it's gonna be hectic anyways then...
Between you and blackouts and the ID card reappearing, I reckon I oughtta just sit around and paint and repaint my fingernails all weekend or something. It's a strange coincidental-type sign. I'm not going to argue.
Man. I gotta get something to keep me actually occupied on weekends. Seriously. Can't keep getting 'saved from disaster' every other weekend.
Well, take care of yourself, KC, and everybody else here. I hope it's going good for y'all... I'm actually doing pretty good, all things considered. Had a good day till the whole "stolen key (but they missed the keyring)" and "stolen sticker" thing and "intermittent internet" thing started up. Tomorrow I got one of my last few DUI classes... finally I'll be able to tell the judge "DONE."
That was my reason for not drinking tonight... and to be honest it was more of a "why not" than "I want to." Don't know how to categorize the "cravings/urges/whatever" any better. I also argued that I can drink easier after the classes, because that teacher *always* catches me.
Yeah, I need more things to do. I got the motivation to stay sober, just not the attention span.
TB
Best I can say is apparently alcohol and you don't work together... like with me.
My last time out was blacked out too... tonight I finally found my ID card I lost somewhere in there. Don't even know where... but it's been stripped of its sticker for some reason.
Yeah, you helped someone, at least. Me. I've been thinking, I don't have anything to do till Monday, and it's gonna be hectic anyways then...
Between you and blackouts and the ID card reappearing, I reckon I oughtta just sit around and paint and repaint my fingernails all weekend or something. It's a strange coincidental-type sign. I'm not going to argue.
Man. I gotta get something to keep me actually occupied on weekends. Seriously. Can't keep getting 'saved from disaster' every other weekend.
Well, take care of yourself, KC, and everybody else here. I hope it's going good for y'all... I'm actually doing pretty good, all things considered. Had a good day till the whole "stolen key (but they missed the keyring)" and "stolen sticker" thing and "intermittent internet" thing started up. Tomorrow I got one of my last few DUI classes... finally I'll be able to tell the judge "DONE."
That was my reason for not drinking tonight... and to be honest it was more of a "why not" than "I want to." Don't know how to categorize the "cravings/urges/whatever" any better. I also argued that I can drink easier after the classes, because that teacher *always* catches me.
Yeah, I need more things to do. I got the motivation to stay sober, just not the attention span.
TB
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
TB - try to keep busy. Remember my therapist telling me to find other ways to "soothe" myself besides the drink? Get a hot bath, sit by the fireplace, read a book, talk a walk, go do something till the feeling passes. It does work if you put your mind to it. I intend to put my mind to it, again. I have to get my husband to keep the alcohol out of the house. If it's not here, I will be less tempted. It's too cold outside for me to bother going and getting it! I keep telling him over and over and over that I am an alcoholic and he keeps telling me over and over that I am not. I am reallhy struggling with why he thinks it is necessary that I drink.
Oh well, off to the spa thing for the nails....gotta look pretty for tonight.
Everyone have a great day.
KC
Oh well, off to the spa thing for the nails....gotta look pretty for tonight.
Everyone have a great day. KC
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
KC--
Please don't ever think you let anyone down here. I have no expectations of you, your drinking, or your sobriety. My hope and prayer for you is that you are able to recognize your relationship with alcohol is a unhealthy one which could be fatal.
The only way I can remain sober is to work on me. Yes, I drank to soothe myself. But, I also drank because I am an alcoholic..plain and simple.
Alcoholics react differently then normal drinkers, we pass out, drink at the most inappropriate times, etc. I know exactly what you are describing about waking up, as you did.I also know I never have to drink again.
KC-sorry your hubby doesn't support you..but, you have the power, the ability to support yourself in your sobriety. Stop pouring your energy into figuring him out, because that really isn't anything you can change, or understand. Put books by your nightstand that you can read, and begin to understand yourself and your problem.
If I want people to support me and take my sobriety seriously, then, I have to take my sobriety seriously. It all starts with me. Some spouses enjoy the "failure" of the drinking spouse. It may be an issue of control, or that when we drink, they feel needed...after all when we are blacking out, etc...we must need someone there to be sure we are ok.
Who knows....
KC- are you doing anything to make some friends...find any support for you in your life?
Loneliness and alcoholism are a deadly combination.....I care about you, love you and support you.......
Please don't ever think you let anyone down here. I have no expectations of you, your drinking, or your sobriety. My hope and prayer for you is that you are able to recognize your relationship with alcohol is a unhealthy one which could be fatal.
The only way I can remain sober is to work on me. Yes, I drank to soothe myself. But, I also drank because I am an alcoholic..plain and simple.
Alcoholics react differently then normal drinkers, we pass out, drink at the most inappropriate times, etc. I know exactly what you are describing about waking up, as you did.I also know I never have to drink again.
KC-sorry your hubby doesn't support you..but, you have the power, the ability to support yourself in your sobriety. Stop pouring your energy into figuring him out, because that really isn't anything you can change, or understand. Put books by your nightstand that you can read, and begin to understand yourself and your problem.
If I want people to support me and take my sobriety seriously, then, I have to take my sobriety seriously. It all starts with me. Some spouses enjoy the "failure" of the drinking spouse. It may be an issue of control, or that when we drink, they feel needed...after all when we are blacking out, etc...we must need someone there to be sure we are ok.
Who knows....
KC- are you doing anything to make some friends...find any support for you in your life?
Loneliness and alcoholism are a deadly combination.....I care about you, love you and support you.......
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
PC - yes, I have told her about them. Said this is common in "late stage alcoholism". I asked her what that meant and she said that it means that "it" is progressing more and more rapidly and it is not going to take as many drinks to black out. I can definitely see that is occurring/has occurred. I just read a good book - The Uncommon Drunk - a true story about a functional alcoholic. If it doesn't scare me or anyone into stopping once and for all, I don't know what will. SCARY. While it tells the guys story, there is also lots of factual information about just how poisonous alcohol is.
Gotta run to get dressed for the gala in a minute, but my husband pulled out the half empty bottle of vodka from the freezer this morning and said "this has got to stop." The bruise on my butt cheek is especially nasty looking today -- really a deep blue/black color - almost looks like a tattoo. I guess that might have woken him up somewhat to what is going on here.
Weather is crappy here - snowing out now. Yuck.
Bye for now.
KC
Gotta run to get dressed for the gala in a minute, but my husband pulled out the half empty bottle of vodka from the freezer this morning and said "this has got to stop." The bruise on my butt cheek is especially nasty looking today -- really a deep blue/black color - almost looks like a tattoo. I guess that might have woken him up somewhat to what is going on here.
Weather is crappy here - snowing out now. Yuck.
Bye for now.
KC
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi everyone!!! Just checking in. Thanks for sharing your story, KC. I know it's not easy to share stuff like that but it does help others on the thread. I just wanted to let you know that.
I'm still kind of in the "take each day at a time mode" figuring this all out. I'm not drinking tonight. I didn't drink last night. I want to keep this up for a while. I had a stressful, very stressful, week and used wine as stress relief a couple of times. Not a good plan at all. That has got to stop. So..... one day at a time here!
This is a stressful time of year -- so much to do and on top of it, work has been very busy. I'm going to make it through, but have to keep breathing deeply. Hope everyone is good tonight.
Laura
I'm still kind of in the "take each day at a time mode" figuring this all out. I'm not drinking tonight. I didn't drink last night. I want to keep this up for a while. I had a stressful, very stressful, week and used wine as stress relief a couple of times. Not a good plan at all. That has got to stop. So..... one day at a time here!
This is a stressful time of year -- so much to do and on top of it, work has been very busy. I'm going to make it through, but have to keep breathing deeply. Hope everyone is good tonight.
Laura
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
Sunday morning and I woke up bright and early with NO hangover. Yay!!! I actually went to the big gala and didn't drink. It was a nice affair, way too crowded for my liking, must have been 500-600 people, couldn't move, fully stocked, top shelf, open bars every which way you turned, way too tempting, so we left around midnight. Went with my boss and his wife, and they wanted to leave too, so it worked out great. I didn't have to stay. Came home and went right to bed. Nothing to drink here so no temptations. (Dumped the remaining vodka down the drain yesterday).
Gotta get ready to fit into my bathing suit in only 24 days, so going back on the Flat Belly Diet starting today. I see there is a book out now called the Flat Belly Diet for Men. Was not aware that the original book was only for women. How nutty. I guess that is marketing for you.
Everyone have a great day.
KC
Gotta get ready to fit into my bathing suit in only 24 days, so going back on the Flat Belly Diet starting today. I see there is a book out now called the Flat Belly Diet for Men. Was not aware that the original book was only for women. How nutty. I guess that is marketing for you.
Everyone have a great day.
KC
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Good morning everyone. I am sitting here reading the posts enjoying a nice cup of coffee on this cold South Dakota morning. Off to church in a few minutes, but wanted to check in first.
KC1- Congrats on not drinking. I know how tempting open bars, etc. can be. Way to stay strong. Maybe take a picture of that bruise and keep it to look at whenever you think about drinking again? Just a thought. Might be a good refresher for you.
So today is the 4 week mark since I came out to my wife and family about my drinking. It sure has gone fast, but looking back it was the best decision of my life! My life is a complete 180 degree turnaround. I went to the cage fights last night, and of coarse I didn't drink. Most of the people there (around 900) were pounding them. I didn't even have the desire. I prayed before I went, and meditated and I didn't think twice about it.
I slept in until around 9 this morning since we didn't get home from the fights until about 1 AM. My wife surprised me with making me breakfast in bed to celebrate my 1 month sobriety! (Well, the 9th will be my official month anniversary, but 4 weeks was close enough for my wife.) She told me how proud of me she is, and how happy she is with my improvement. It really meant a lot to me, and so nice that she is supporting me.
So off to church now, then home to watch some football. I will check in later. I hope you all have a blessed Sunday! Hugs.
KC1- Congrats on not drinking. I know how tempting open bars, etc. can be. Way to stay strong. Maybe take a picture of that bruise and keep it to look at whenever you think about drinking again? Just a thought. Might be a good refresher for you.
So today is the 4 week mark since I came out to my wife and family about my drinking. It sure has gone fast, but looking back it was the best decision of my life! My life is a complete 180 degree turnaround. I went to the cage fights last night, and of coarse I didn't drink. Most of the people there (around 900) were pounding them. I didn't even have the desire. I prayed before I went, and meditated and I didn't think twice about it.
I slept in until around 9 this morning since we didn't get home from the fights until about 1 AM. My wife surprised me with making me breakfast in bed to celebrate my 1 month sobriety! (Well, the 9th will be my official month anniversary, but 4 weeks was close enough for my wife.) She told me how proud of me she is, and how happy she is with my improvement. It really meant a lot to me, and so nice that she is supporting me.
So off to church now, then home to watch some football. I will check in later. I hope you all have a blessed Sunday! Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
glad to see your still here brent, i thought goodbye meant goodbye from the thread!
we do go through ebbs, but we will pick up again (thread i mean not drink llol)
i gotta go to work, running late as per usual
take care all
we do go through ebbs, but we will pick up again (thread i mean not drink llol)
i gotta go to work, running late as per usual
take care all
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