August Sobriety Group Pt 6
 

Keep it up, guys!

Old part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...pt-5-a-20.html

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Morning y'all...

Still here still sober. I've been avoiding my house now. I did fail the inspection... didn't see that one coming. Haha.

Today I'm going up to where I used to live to spend the day. It's better than here.

Take care y'all, and
(first :) 'bout time)
TB

Hi everyone! Back from Disneyworld. It was AMAZING. Unforgettable, fun, wild, action packed, etc. The times with my kids were precious. I have lots of pictures documenting everything.

Sadly, I did succomb to pressure on the two nights of work parties I had. I drank red wine with my co-workers the first night, and on the second night figured I already blew my sobriety so why not make it a two for one deal. Ugghhhh..... sad mentality. I drank white wine the second night -- I am an equal opportunity abuser. I didn't overdo it either night, but I'm not happy with myself. I'm getting right back on track now. I'm going to yoga this morning (got a great night's sleep last night) and am going to unpack and get organized today.

I am a little worried about next week because I have 4 social events during the week, all involving alcohol. If I could make it through all of them sober....that would be a great accomplishment.

So being in Disneyworld is like being in another world entirely. I loved the rides, the roller coasters, the meeting the characters, the true quality time with all 3 of my children. If I only could have kept wine out of the picture for the work events, it would have been perfect in my mind. I didn't do anything stupid, but I slept like crap and felt it the next day. As I have said over and over again, I really am better off without that poison in my system.

I want to comment on everyone else but am running out of time.

BRENT..... CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm so happy for you!!!

TB -- Hang in there. We are your cheerleaders. Congrats on all your sober time.

Kate -- How is your daugther doing? I hope she is okay :)

BF --- How are you??

PC -- I worry about all that stuff, too, with my kids. My daughter will be 11 this year and it's all just around the corner. I talk to her about alcohol all the time and recently told her that I don't like drinking much because it makes me feel bad. I'm trying to start honest discussions with her now -- open and honest.

Everyone else: HI!!!

Great to be home.

Laura

Welcome back Trader.........Ya know Trader, your post set a flag up for me this morning.........you mentioned you had some events coming up next week. It dawned on me that the holidays are fast approaching. Each of us will probably be put in some very high-pressure situations.......holiday get togethers, parties and even some depression. This is the season to stick together more than any other. I know it is not a good time of year for me. When I was a teen, my mom died around this time....I have no family (dad in FL and a-hole brother in CT).......yeah I got this guy now, but not sure what his plans are.......he has his own family......it may get weird.
What do you guys feel about all this? Are you nervous about it, have you thought about it??

TJ- Welcome back! I am glad you had a great time. We missed your smiling face around here! I am sorry you slipped up. I think it is important to step back and ask yourself why, and then find a way to make sure it doesn't happen next time. I know you want to stop, so you have the desire, now I think you just need the tools to deal with those situations. I know my AA friends have told me, just turn it over to God, and he will lead you through it. Pray, and just say no.

VC- Funny you should mention the upcoming holidays. Here is what I have also learned from my AA friends. Granted, I am sooooo new to this, but I have already already asked about future days that we may want to drink, and they said go ahead and drink at them. Just don't drink today. Everyday when you go to bed, thank God for another sober day, and EVERY morning when you wake up, just say "I won't drink TODAY." See how this works? If you never drink TODAY, you will never drink. They said don't think ahead, live for today!

TB- Glad your spirits are better, and you are sober. Keep going!

Hugs to my August peeps today. I would also like to suggest to everyone here to get a copy of the AA "Big Book" and just start reading. What can it hurt to at least get the book, right? I was encouraged when I started reading it to not look at the differences, but look for the similarities in it. I was amazed when I started reading it last night.

Good Morning Gang....

TJ-welcome back. I am glad your trip was fun, and that you all have some wonderful lasting memories.

TB-sounding good...enjoy your day.

PC-It is so tough for our teens. My daughter is 15, and my son is 20 and away at college. I just try to support their decisions not to fall to the peer pressure. Luckily, they have seen some drunken friends make stupid decisions, and that has reinforced their decisions. My the grace of God, they both surround themselves with some like minded friends. I have also shared with them my struggles.

Holidays...well, like Brent said, I am just taking it one day at a time. Doing my readings, taking time each day to reflect and praying.

Hoping everyones day is a good one.

Welcome back Laura. Glad you had a good time - hop back on the purple bus.

Regarding the kids, I have worked very very hard to keep an open line of communication with my son and am very glad that he is talking to me about this stuff. All those years driving to and from rinks have provided a time and place for discussions. :) He sees what alcohol has done to his dad and I know he was getting very concerned about me and is glad that I took the steps that I did. His problem right now is finding like-minded friends, because all of his good friends are at the other high school in town. The friends he had from elementary school are the ones at his high school who are smoking. Why they split the middle school between two high schools is beyond me, and even when I said I'd transport him to the other high school the district said no. I'm going to try to pursue that again, though.

HI everyone!

Great advice about keeping it simple: not drinking TODAY. I like that. People like me (who are planners) often have trouble with that concept. The whole idea of staying in the present is part of my yoga classes and training as well. Easy to do in theory, harder in practice.

I think re: the holidays, events and parties that come up all we can do is to take it each day at time, as you all said. If I sit here and start thinking I have to get through 4 nights in a row not drinking at various events then it feels like running a marathon. If I think: all I have to do is worry about tonight and not drink tonight, it does seem a lot more manageable.

Re: talking to the kids. Yep, I agree. Sooooo important. My daughter overheard me yesterday talking to a friend of mine who does not drink alcohol. I told her that I really didn't want to drink at this one event coming up and was worried about another friend pressuring me into drinking. I told my friend that alcohol makes me feel crappy, ruins my sleep and makes my work week so much more difficult. She said she would "back me up" when the other friend starts pressuring me to drink. So my daughter overheard this and asked me what I meant. I explained to her honestly that I have a friend who drinks too much and that I don't want to be that way and needed another friend who does not drink to help me out. Sort of like peer pressure at the adult level. My daughter seemed to understand what I meant; I didn't lie to her or sugar coat it. I didn't mean for her to hear it, but she did and maybe she learned something from it.

My yoga class was great -- now I have to unpack so I'll catch you all later.

So another blessing. God obviously has something in store for my life and I just can't wait to see what it is! One of the pastors at our church leads our couples Bible study on Monday nights. Since I was at an AA meeting, he asked where I was. My wife just said I need prayers. So he called me yesterday and took me to lunch today. He asked me what was going on in my life and what he could do to help. I told him everything, and what I am going through. He offered to do a "spiritual detox" program with me. He told me OK, you got rid of the demon in your life (alcohol) but now that needs to be replaced with something else. Now it is time to fill that void with God. He wants to do a complete program with me. Why are so many people reaching out to me to help me?!?! Do I deserve this? I don't feel I do, but obviously God is not done with me yet.

Which leads me to this. TB? Have you tried reaching out to a church for help? I never thought of it before, but our church has SO many programs to help people that need it for free! All funded by donations. I mean we have counselors, a food pantry, people to pray with you, mentors, the list goes on and on! I would encourage you to pursue this route if you can.

Well, how is everyone today? Laura- that sounds like a good conversation with your daughter. I am glad it went well and hopefully it keeps her from making some bad decisions in her life.

Brent..another blessing that you deserve. You are a good man, fighting an addiction.People want to help you with that. Isn't it wonderful!

Laura, that was an honest way to explain the situation to your daughter. Peer pressure exists at all ages and stages of our lives.

For me., I had to stay confident in my decision to live my life sober and healthy. There are too many negative emotions and consequences when I drink for me to cave into
that voice saying...sure you can drink, its been awhile and won't hurt anyone or anything.

Everytime I drank, I did hurt someone, myself. I wasn't following the decision I had made to live sober. I wasn't being honest with myself when I relapsed. That is the addiction talking me into allowing it back into my head, and my life.

Today I am grateful that I am not drinking.

What an excellent idea!

TB, I'm going to pm you a link.

Morning all

I have my BB here with me in the hospital brent so getting a fair bit of Reading done, there is so many similarities isn't there,

TJ welcome back, so glad u had a fun trip, missed u around here

My daughter had op last night and they removed her appendix, we are hoping to go home today but she is spiking a temp, in lots of pain and has a racing heartbeat, so we as here a bit longer

Please add my thanks to posts, I'm keeping up with Reading and thinking of you all but am still using phone and takes forever to message!

Thinking of you all, and you are all helping me stay strong,
Take care Ll

Anono...
I am sorry to hear that your daughter has spike a temp. Hopefully, that will subside soon, along with her pain.

That BB...aw, what good reading it is!

Keep us posted as to her progress.....

Hello everyone. KC is back. Hopefully to stay. It seems I have finally hit rock bottom. Thought I'd share this ugly story with you all and maybe it will help for the upcoming holidays and wondering if you can get through them without drinking.

Last night a friend invited me out for "a drink" after work. Many of you might recall this friend who I met through my husband - the one who invited me to the beach for the long weekend. She has never asked me to do anything during the week or even on the weekends, other than the invite to the beach. So yeah, KC is very happy! A friend - someone to do something with. Long story short, she cancelled on me just as I was sitting in a major traffic jam - one which would have been avoided had I not been going to meet her for "a drink". Her reason for cancelling was silly and it just pissed me off so bad that I said to myself "I am going anyway." Bad move. Hubby was out of town for the day and not expected back till late in the evening. So I went into the bar for "a drink". Alone. Some hours later (still trying to figure that out) and 5 or 6 glasses of wine later, I left the bar and actually got in my car and drove home. I don't know how I made it home alive because, you see, this morning, when my hubby and I went out to the car to go to work, I see that I am missing my right hand side mirror and have a nice big scratch on the window. That is problem #1. This results in turning around and coming back into the house for a little discussion. Hence, problem #2. Seems that I also don't remember that he came home at 10:30pm, and I was sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing that I lost my cell phone and just had to find it. My briefcase and purse were turned upside down with the contents strewn all over the floor. I even went so far as to try to get back in the car and drive back to the bar to look for the phone. Thankfully, he went out to the car and found the phone and being dark, did not notice I was missing the right hand side mirror. Problem #3. I sent a very very very nasty text on that phone to one of the few friends I have (not the girlfriend above, but one of my "guy" friends. Don't remember doing that. I tried calling him and texting him today, but he will have nothing to do with me, and I can't say that I blame him. I do believe that I have completely destroyed the friendship. I re-read the message I sent and I would surely never speak to me again if I was him. I sent an apology text, but the damage is done. Problem #4 - the cost to repair my side mirror is over $1,500. Seems that is some kind of high tech thing on this particular model. Great. Problem #5 - I still have no idea how long I was at that bar, but I am slowly starting to remember driving home and damned near driving off the road. I am slowly starting to remember hitting "something" which obviously knocked off my side mirror - I think it was a road sign or a mailbox, but I don't remember. I told my husband about this and he said if I had hit a tree or another vehicle, I would have body damage to my car, which I don't. Therefore, he has decided that another vehicle hit my side mirror in the parking lot of the bar and I just didn't notice it when I left. How's that for putting your head in the sand about your wife's drinking?
I have been extremely depressed all day long but also scared shi*less. What if I had gotten into an accident? Not just a one car accident, but with another vehicle? Either way, I would have been BUSTED and FIRED from my job. I am so scared I actually checked the morning newspaper to see if there were any "hit and runs" last night, (there weren't) but there darned well could have been.
I AM VERY VERY LUCKY. I have always maintained that I would NEVER drink and drive and there it is - I DID drink and drive. At some point, all of my past "carefulness" was thrown out the window.
Not sure what time I got home or what I did after I got home. Did I call my mother? Did I call my grandmother? Don't know. Did I call my sister-in-law? Don't know. Don't know what I did from the time I got home, (which I still don't know) until the time my hubby came home at 10:30pm. Did I drink some more? Don't know. Can't remember and I don't think I will ever remember.
I hope this helps everyone out there. This was probably the rock bottom for me. I hope I have the strength to stick it out this time, once and for all. There is a reason that I did not get into a serious accident and kill myself or someone else. I'm lucky there. A broken side mirror can be replaced. The friendship that I lost can never be replaced. My husband said my friend will probably come around after cooling off, but he does not know this guy like I do. He will NEVER come around. The trust that my husband was finally giving back to me is lost for awhile. I have a business cocktail party and dinner tomorrow night 100 miles away that I must attend. I am not going to drink any alcohol, but my husband does not trust me, so he is probably going to drive me down to the dinner and wait in the car or something until it's all over. That is sad. But he does not trust me to "not drink". And of course, he is concerned about the safety issue of driving a car that distance without one side mirror.
I'm not sure what I am going to do next, besides stop drinking. There are issues here that will affect me for a long long time.
So that's my story. I hope this helps. I don't belong in the August group, but you guys are nice and I don't want to start over in a November group.
Talk soon.
KC

((((KC)))

I have wondered how you were doing..

This can be your bottom, and you will never have to feel this way again.

Have you considered an in or out patient program at all?

I truly hope you will consider reaching out for some help.

A sober life (and safer life) can be yours.

You belong here, don't ever doubt that...we care about YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace

Another thing KC...

I have met some truly wonderful women in AA. They are women I can be honest with, have fun with and be sober.

I am really concerned about you. There are so many frightening moments from your night that could have meant disaster, or even death to you, or an innocent person.

Please, please, save yourself KC...to continue drinking could only end in disaster.

OH MAN! I only have a second :( I couldn't leave without sending LOVE and (((HUGS))) to each and every one of you!

(((brent))) WOW! Such amazing things going falling into place!

(((anono))) Your poor baby! (((daughter)))

(((kc))) Stay right here...YOU CAN DO THIS! The evidence in this thread PROVES that we are ALL heading in the right direction...I believe that includes you too! :)

Welcome back (((laura)))! So glad to have you back :)

(((anew))) (((thirty))) (((VC))) (((purple))) (((sphalerite))) (((breakfree...LOL Oh, that's me! I'll take a hug anyway)))

(((all the August peeps!!!)))

Oh, wish I could post more...

Love,

Thanks, Anew. I am having so many different emotions right now. I am still so very depressed. Wish I was back on the AD's! I made it through today. Now it's on to tomorrow. I miss my guy friend and I feel so bad that I destroyed him with my text. I was NOT nice. I know I hurt him deeply. I feel so so bad. I would like the opportunity to tell him that I am a drunk - something that I have managed to keep hidden from him for a few years.

Hopefully I will be "allowed" to drive to my business dinner tomorrow night - I have tried to reason with my husband that after last night's experience, I would have to be totally out of my mind to drink anything with alcohol and then drive 100 miles home! We'll see. Going to go crawl into bed and watch TV. I am definitely taking a sleeping pill tonight, though. I do think I could stay up all night long trying to remember what I hit and at what time I left that bar. Funny, I have a slight recollection of stopping off at another bar, but not going inside. I hope that was just a bad dream.
Talk later and thanks again! I am glad to be back.
KC

KC..I know you must feel like crap right now. We all have those day after the a crazy night regrets.

You are alive, and safe. No DUI, yet. I say yet, because that is the risk any of us take if we drink. We are alcoholics, and if drinking we cannot guarantee that we will act right, or make the right choices.

I remember feeling so down the last time I drank and acted stupid. I was so ashamed and embarassed. I was told to give others time to heal and process what has happened.
Time also stood for Things, I, Must, Earn. My family, friends and others support my committment to live sober. I do the work I must do everyday to stay that way.

The more they see my committment, the more they are able to see my progress, the more I earn trust and respect.

(((KC))) You belong with us. Glad to see you back.