ChameleonBoy

Thanks for asking bnme I'm out in Utah. Nice enough place to live. Where r u at? There are a few of us tired this week. I haven't slept for more then 4 hours in a week. I can't believe I'm awake right now. My cousin is coming over today, he and I were best friends as kids and he has become a very spiritual person as I have become.....drunk....I haven't seen him in a couple of years but in recent months we have been talking over the phone. I can't wait to see him and give him a big hug.....and yet I'm really anxious. I can't shake it..... I have been a stay at home and drink alone person for so long I feel real uncomfortable having someone come over....I don't like it but I want to reconnect to my family so bad. My head is enough to drive me insane. He said he would be coming sometime after noon and it is a little after noon my time right now, should be calling or texting me soon. Good to see you here with 10 days Jade19, your doing awesome and you too with your smoking bjork. You made me laugh with "I can't stand any of my friends right now". Hi Chamabama, hi NewBegining010.

Guess I'll take a shower and have some coffee....oops out of coffee. Oh well looks like another trip to starbucks in my pajamas.....I actually kind of enjoy that....I should make it a point to run out of coffee more often....it's the little things that make it all worth while.

Take care everyone.

facing2day

Hiya, I didn't know if you saw it, but there is support here on this board for smoking also:

Nicotine/Smoking
A forum devoted to discussion and support for those who are trying to quit smoking.

Today is day 16 for me w/no drinking. I feel great. I am now working putting the cigs down.

One day at a time!

bjork

Reb-I will most likely watch the video again too. I saw myself a lot in Vanda (??) It killed me how she ended the video! I kept thinking....that could've easily been me.

Chameleon-I hope you have a good time reconnecting with your cousin! Let us know how it goes. It is awkward to break out of your drunk isolation and start interacting with people sober again. I honestly remind myself of my much younger self as far as demeanor at times. Arrested development? Yea....I edited my post and took out the "I can't stand any of my friends right now." I thought I just might sound a little bit like I'm losing it! Anyhow, it is very true. They all annoy me right now by doing absolutely nothing they haven't done before. UGH!

Facing2Day-Thanks for the link. Congratulations on day 16! Glad you are feeling good. You're right....one day at a time!

Congratulations on 30 days Waterfountain!!! 8

Lindsay

Congrats on your 30 days waterfountain!!!!! You're right- we do need to talk more extensively...it seems we have a lot in common!

cham- i can completely relate to not feeling really chatty. i've been like that for the past couple of days.

SORRY to everyone if i haven't been responding properly...i've been keeping up with the thread...just not on top of my game. oddly enough, i don't feel like it has much to do with alcohol/not drinking/etc. i just feel a little OFF. i feel somewhat distant, i've been kind of tired and sluggish...and basically haven't felt like doing much of anything!

luckily i'm feeling much better today.

waterfountain

Thanks Lindsay!
Yay! 30 days in the bag! Wow! I can't believe an entire month has gone by and I haven't had a single drop of alcohol - I feel ecstatic! I'm still working it through as "one day at a time", and will for a long, long time. When temptation or urges come along, lately I've been thinking to myself "now, would drinking - even only one drink - really enhance this experience?", and I'm finding the voice of my rational mind to have grown louder and the "no, of course not!" reaction practically gets me to physically shake my head. I feel like I'm in a good place right now

I'm sorry NB that I haven't gotten back to you about your business. I'm looking into basic web design/management to simply learn it, and what you mentioned has come up a bit, so I will be reading more about it in the weeks ahead.

My apologies to the rest of the thread - with all the down time and occasional glitches, I've barely been posting even though I've had plenty of responses I wanted to get out.

I hope everyone is well; take care - I should be around

waterfountain

[QUOTE=Chamabama;2290598]HAPPY 30 DAYS WATERFOUNTAIN!!!!

/QUOTE]


Thank you so much Chama!

Also, congrats to Reb (Jade19)! Keep on truckin' girl!

jade09

Hello
Congrats to all of us!!! We are moving foward together...another step in the right direction...hopefully heading towards happier, healthier, more memorable days actually worth remembering

It's difficult to remain positive, I almost feel like I am forcing myself sometimes---but it beats giving in and feeling bad about myself, the day or the situation....I know everyday can't be great, but just keep trying to not get too down on yourself, or just down in general.....I've realized it accomplishes nothing, and only slows the healing and recovery process.
I hope everyone has had an ok week---SOOO glad it is Friday tomorrow....it was a rough week----but YEAH....I did great on my final, passed another course and start a new one Monday....So I can breath alitte this weekend for once and maybe enjoy summer for a day
STAY STRONG!!!
I will not drink today, no matter how hard I try to convince myself to!

bnme247

Hey cb, thanks for ur reply, i live in alabama, as far south as u can go before u run into the gulf......it's alright here...used to be alot better, not much farm land left....concrete is taking over....now it's mostly for tourist and retiree's....as much of the south is,,,i love coffee...sitting here sipping on some now,,,,sure is good, starbuck's is good...but way above my budget...i have a friend that loves it. Well it's time to go check my my space, until next time hang tough, by the way how'd ur visit go?,,,,,,bnme

bnme247

Thankyou............i'm feeling good......unusually tired this week for some reason......as are a lot of other folks...so they say....must be in the air!...i gotta get ready for work....but just wanted to say hello...and thanks!bnme

bjork

I have been tired too. I am quite productive in the mornings and afternoons, but once 5pm hits...BAM...I don't feel like doing anything other than reading.

ALSO....

Holy sweets Batman! I have had a major sweet tooth. I have been mixing my chocolate with my popcorn. I love the sweet and salty combination. If I could get my hands on some chocolate covered popcorn, peanuts, or potato chips....I would be in heaven.

No alcohol-21 days
No cigs-4 days

ChameleonBoy

BJORK you have the same concept of heaven as I do. I have been putting m&m's with peanuts in my popcorn for years.....I like the sweet salty combo in many foods but that is the best. Congratulations on 3 weeks of sobriety and 4 days without smoking. You are doing so amazing you deserve a little piece of heavan right now.

bnme thanks for the info, it's good to know more about you as we do this sobriety thing together. Starbucks is above my budget too wich is why it was a treat for me. I didn't mean to make is sound like I'm rich, I'm lucky to have a job right now....

I can relate to what has been said here about not being chatty, feeling sluggish and having a hard time being positive. I never know anymore where I am going to be at on any given day. I woke up this morning feeling very much at peace and content....Happy? I went to the store because I still don't have any coffee and my car with 178,000 miles was making all kinds of clickety clackety noises when I started it up....not sure how long that thing is going to last. Then I get home and my little amplified speakers for my laptop won't work for me to listen to the song that was bouncing around in my head all morning....blah....I lose my serenity over the silliest little things....more blah....Then I went down stairs and found our little dog Bella dead. I have no idea what happened. So I spent some time berrying her and just going with the feelings of sorrow and loss. I did write down more about my thoughts and feelings regarding Bella but I decided not to post them.

On the positive side I have gone two weeks without a drink today. My visit with my cousin and his wife went well, he only stayed a couple of hours, I'm thinking maybe he was a bit nervous too? Idk. We talked much the same as we have over the phone but this time we actually got to see each other and give each other a hug. I expect to be doing more with him as my new spiritual based life in sobriety grows.

Still not sleeping much so I think I'm going to take a long nap now.

bnme247

go read back a few pages cb....i too lost my lil dog right after i joined here.....i loved that lil dog,,,,and my husband claimed her as his lil companion when i wasn't around....that chit was hard!!!......just thought i'd tell u...i too felt it for wks....still do, just trying not to dwell...as to kinda help my hubby get over it....sad sad sad !,,,,keep posting my friend....and i'll do my best to do the same...as i said before i'm usually on my space when i'm on....

ChameleonBoy

I'm sorry for your loss bnme.....but I'm thankful for your support and sobriety.

It's quiet here today, I don't have time to post much myself. I found out about a in-law family reunion a few days ago but haven't had time to give it much thought.....I know I said a few posts back that I was ready to be one of the strong ones......but.....A family reunion with all the in-laws? I'm usually drunk and don't go..... Soooooooo......I am going to do he next right thing and appear "strong". Don't tell anyone but I really don't want to go.....I'm horrible that way.....

Ok, time to stop whining and be apart of life.....I guess......

bnme247

Well sad but tru....most of our get together's as a family involves some kind of intoxication....be it pill, or alcohol.....not but a few young weed smoker's....2 to be exact....so i can only imagine some kind of intoxicant...i was raised in an addictive gene pool.....as were my children, and other relatives.....so yes u must go be the strong one.....and try to enjoy ur self....u may find it comical to be aware of ur surroundings!!....holla...bnme

bjork

My family is the same. My mom, myself, and my 2 brothers are alcoholics. My uncle eventually died from complications caused by alcoholism. My grandfathers (on both sides) were alcoholics. It runs rampant in my family. My mom is pretty bad right now, but thinks she's ok as long as she's functional. OY VAY! My brothers and I used to smoke a lot of pot when we were younger. I think we'd all be better off today if we had kept on "puffing the magic dragon" instead of drinking. Who knows?

CB- A family reunion would be difficult. However, you said you usually don't go. Maybe you will like these people sober? It may be a stretch.....but I think maybe you have kept up on how thrilled I am with my usual group of friends??? Just an idea... Make sure you have a drink in hand (water, soda, whatever) when you get there! That's where I f'ing relapsed! At a party and first thing.....got all stupid when asked what I wanted to drink and ended up drinking. I rehearsed the scenario in my mind before I got there and everything. From now on, I show up with a drink in hand! Let us know when this shindig is set to happen. Best Wishes!

No alcohol-23 days
No cigs-6 days

smynthia

Is this my board? My sobriety date is June 5th.

I have a quick question. How long does it take to detox? I'm on day 37 after giving up alcohol and taking Ambien quite frequently. I've been working out, eating right, taking vitamins, getting lots of sleep - but I still feel very run down during the day. Am I still detoxing?

ChameleonBoy

Yes! Welcome to the June thread.

Thank you both bnme and bjork for your support and relating your family stories. I went to the family reunion and I was fine. Anxiety over going was my biggest problem, I am strugling with anxiety, depression and an over all sense of of shame and uslessness this time around. I have stopped drinking before and never felt like this....not sure why. I have mood swings so I have been having more good moments I just don't understand nor do I think I will understand why I am feeling so dissapointed in myself right now.....this to shall pass.....can't wait till it does.

It is interesting to watch people as they become more intoxicated.....that was me for most of my life.....

I did get to my regular spiritual meeting at K2 this week. It really gives me a boost once a week and I am so grateful for it.....gratitude was the message this week. If I can stay focused on all the gifts in my life....and I do have so many. I am going to try it this week, to really be mindful of what I do have and who I really am.
I'm not a doctor so I can only share my experience and what I have been told. Your not still what is considered detoxing however full and complete recovery from alcohol abuse can take a couple years. I was sober for just over a year before I relapsed and I went through several months of chronic fatigue. I'm not suggesting this is what you have but it does take time for our bodies to heal. Personally I went to my doctor and told him what was going on and he ran blood tests and found a few simple things that have helped along with a proper food diet and....time. You will get better but how long varies from person to person.


It's so quiet in here I sure hope everyone is doing well.

bjork

Smynthia! You're posting on the right board. Congratulations on 37 days! Thanks for posting. I have been really lethargic and having minor body aches. I am on day 24. I was hoping they would disappear after a week. Alas....it is taking longer than I thought to clear out my 15+ years of drinking.

No alcohol-24 days
No cigs-7 days

Hope everybody is having a good day! I'll check in later.

Jade19

HI everyone!!! Welcome Smynthia!!!!

Sorry I have been absent....still doing good. Had a few family get togethers and like you all, found it interesting to sit back and watch them get loaded and then proceed to make arses of themselves. I still have no desire to drink, but what has been happening is what I like to call moments of clarity. Every now and then I'll get a flashback of some particular instance when I was drunk and did something idiotic, said something stupid or just remember the sensation (sometimes these memories are as far back as ten years). It's very odd....and I have to say it has been bothering me a bit. I still have cravings but they usually pass pretty fast. Started going back to my therapist to see if we can work it through. The IOP I wanted to go was pretty pricey and I couldn't afford it. My therapist is willing to work with me so I figure some help is better than no help, plus she worked in a womens detox clinic so I figure she understands. Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi!!

Hope everyone is hanging in there....

HUGS!!!
Reb

bjork

I'm going out into the Tuscan countryside to stay with a colleagues daughter for two nights, so I probably won't be checking in for the next two days.

No alcohol-25 days
No cigs-8 days

Hope everybody is having a great day!