bjork

Hi Waterfountain! Yesterday was hot, but I did OK. I have the windows open now so the cool air can get in. In an hour or so, I have to close the shutters to keep the sunlight out. My apt. building is in a 400 (?) year old stone building so it really holds the cool air in. Given your east Asia affinity, what would you do during a mountain retreat? I could use some activity suggestions LOL

Congrats on day 44!!!!

Ahhh, the depression. I'm not sure if I am getting depressed or lonely. I usually feel depressed when I'm lonely, but I really don't feel like doing a lot of things that my friends plan. I'm in a situation where there are language barriers and my opportunities to network with other english speakers are more limited than in the US.

A colleague is planning a dinner at her place tonight, but I am completely annoyed with her (and have been since I have been sober LOL). She emailed and said "bring a bottle of wine" She knows I'm not drinking. UGH! Two other times, she was just very inconsiderate. I'm pretty sure I just never noticed how selfish and controlling she was before.

I'm looking forward to going to the mountains. I am going to be in Cortina d'Ampezzo. I will have a lot of time to admire the Dolmites via hiking and biking. I am also taking my laptop and a long, time-consuming list of things to do.

It is getting lonely in here......

I hope more people come in and post.

bjork

Reb-Congrats on day 25! That's great!!! Try to stay cool. I hate being a sweaty mess LOL It has been hot here too. You're so right.....I will remember everything!

That is so cute that you and your husband are playing tourist!!

Jade19

Bjork,

Your friend doesn't seem very considerate at all...especially if she knows your not drinking...I am sure there is something else you could bring. Maybe bring some sparkling cider ;-) Maybe she'll get the hint and stop putting you in that position. I am going to a party this weekend and my sister asked if I wanted to bring beer or make an app., (she doesn't know I quit drinking) but I never realized how she always put two offers out there (clarity and my memory are coming back) and I always chose beer before....she is not a drinker so i knew she was doing that on my behalf...so I gladly chose appetizer and she said really??!! LOLOLOL I look forward to a sober party!!!

Waterfountain and Bjork, I am finding myself a bit blue and lethargic as well...I think the clearer things get the more I am seeing things that maybe I didn't want to see before, especially in the company I was keeping. Now that I'm not drinking the phone calls have stopped and I am a bit lonely myself...I think my hubby is picking up on it and trying to keep me entertained. I know I need to get out there and meet new people...but I haven't been to a meeting in a while but I did make a HUGE mistake. I placed an ad on craigslist. LOOKING FOR SOBER FRIENDS was the title...omg...I got pictures (use your imagination), lesbian offers, if I was one some of them were not half bad looking LOL, and then crazy crazy emails...I strongly advise against this..LOLOLOL lesson learned and noted...anyway...just wanted to respond since my knees are bothering me and I am waiting for my aleve to kick in...

Have a great weekend everyone!!

waterfountain

Thank you very much Reb, and congrats to you for your 25+days! Oh man, does your weekend sound fun! I hope you have a great time! If any of your dining is particularly unique, I say take a picture and post it

And thank you too Bjork! Your building is that old?! WOW! Well, my building is a fallout shelter, so nyah :P *giggle* As far as a mountain retreat is concerned.... I would meditate a little, but mostly do a ton of Tai Chi and play around with free movement. I'd probably climb some trees if possible, and, if I could find a really quiet and secluded place, then I'd dance wildly for a long time, maybe twenty minutes, until I became exhausted - then collapse on the ground and listen to my surroundings in that heightened state of consciousness....
But going for hikes and sitting on rocks would be fun too, lol.
A real bummer about your friend. I hope that you don't end up too stressed out about it.

Reb, your whole post at the end here made me lol! I hope you have a fun "sober party", heheheee. What are you going to bring for an appetizer? Oh and your Craigslist mishap had me giggling too; ah, the learning experiences of the internet.

I hope everyone has/had a good Friday, and I hope Saturday turns out well too! I'm looking forward to sleeping in, that's for sure!

Take care!

Oh, and to the room: Room, work your magic! Draw some folks back!

bjork

[QUOTE=Jade19;2307310] I placed an ad on craigslist. LOOKING FOR SOBER FRIENDS was the title...omg...I got pictures (use your imagination), lesbian offers, if I was one some of them were not half bad looking LOL, and then crazy crazy emails...I strongly advise against this..LOLOLOL lesson learned and noted QUOTE]

Reb-LOL That is so funny! I sold almost everything I owned on Craigslist (right down to my shower curtain and shower rings). I had to be careful about meeting people. I would always got to Dunkin Donuts across the street to meet people. The funniest scenario would be selling my coffee pot in Dunkin Donuts. Once a scary guy got really PO'ed and left w/o even looking at my TV when he realized that I had a neighbor with me. Crazy!!!I have used the personals on CL as well. Not the best place LOL I know that Match.com has ads for friendship. I met a woman off of Match and we used to go out and have so much fun!! Symphony, movies, restaurants, etc.

Waterfountain-VERY COOL about the fallout shelter!!!! Is it just attached to the building or what?

It's going to be another hot one today! I leave tomorrow and I need to call the vet today. I think one of my cats has a uriary tract infection. Lovely!

waterfountain

Bjork,
lol - apparently the entire building must be one, since the signs (with the radiation symbol and everything!) are at two of the entrances. The basement/storage area is obviously fortified (and thus kinda creepy in some parts)...
How did you manage to sell so well on Craigslist? I have several things I'd love to part with, and since I live in a downtown area, I have plenty of public and safe places to meet with people - any suggestions? Did you always include photos? Did you give out an e-mail or phone number, or just use the anonymous filter built into craigslist?

Yikes, your clock is ticking! I sincerely wish you the best and I hope that nature chooses to interact with you in an inspirational and beautiful way (here, I'm thinking of just the right sunbeam breaking through a canopy and illuminating your area in an almost mystical fashion, or a redsquirrel chattering to you at just above your head, or maybe even a swarm of dragonflies appearing and leading you to a private clearing).... I think I'm a romantic when it comes to the wild
Sorry about your kitty - and on Caturday of all days I hope everything works out with a minimal amount of yeowling and impact to your wallet.

I hope everyone is doing well! I've got a partly-cloudy and warm Minnesotan day to work with. The boyfriend's been rather inconsiderate the past few days - just kind of doing his own thing. Disheartening..... but I guess I just have to find things to keep myself occupied, and keep my mind off of it. Farmers market today maybe?

Also, I've finally noticed my own cravings for sweets coming to light! I had seen Reb and Chamma talk about it, and various others in numerous threads, but I hadn't noticed it myself. Well, realization dawned on me when I felt inspired to buy sour Skittles and the Health Valley brand of Oreos. I do NOT like cookies, unless they're SUPER moist. And I the only time I'd ever liked skittles was when I was younger and would get them for Halloween. How's this then: that pack of skittles is sitting next to my laptop here, with only about 6 left >.<
....at least I haven't gotten to the cookies yet, heheheeee.
All right folks, I'm going to go play in photoshop or illustrator for awhile. Have a good morning!

Oh! Also, Reb, how did day 25 go? Looking forward to 30? Maybe I could mail you some of these cookies *sly grin*

Lindsay

Hi all! I've been in Houston all weekend...my friend and I flew over here to see the Fray! The concert was last night and it was AMAZING! we were down in the pit so we were super close. It was my first sober concert in...forever...but it was so much better for so many reasons. Didn't have to spend lots of money on alcohol, wasn't constantly running to the restroom, FELT better, i actually REMEMBER the concert...haha.

Anyways, day 56 & feeling stronger than ever. I worked out sat morning and this morning in the hotel gym. We're leaving for the airport shortly here.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

bjork

Hello everybody! I just got to Cortina and my mind is playing some serious manipulation games! Anyhow, I am feeling much better now. I think it was just my initial response to "Holy crap! You are in a new place alone for four weeks!" I unpacked my bags and ran through my mind what someone on here suggested earlier, "What is this going to accomplish? Will things be better after?" I pictured myself sitting in my room drinking alone and smoking in a no smoking room b/c I know that's what would come next. Oy vay! I don't want to drink nor do I want to smoke. I just had to talk myself out of this. I feel better now. Thanks for letting me ramble.

Waterfountain-I had photos for everything. If I did not have a photo of an item, I went to target's website or wherever I bought something and used their photo. I always used CL's annonymous email. I also made sure I put things in categories that were most likely to find a new owner (ie humidifier in baby section, crutches in medical, etc.) At first I was putting everything in household (I think). I sold everything last Spring in Chicago. I alos reposted stuff all the time so it was always on there. Meet people wherever it is convenient for you, because sometimes they don't show up. Dunkin Donuts was conveniently right outside my building. We almost always met out front. The employees inside were pretty entertained with me bringing lamps, crutches, bread machines, etc over there all the time. I also put up signs (with pics) in my building's laundry room that had the little tear off phone numbers.

Lindsay, you Rock! Glad you had a great time at your concert and stayed sober! Have a safe trip.

bjork

Today was a great day! I am so happy I didn't drink yesterday!!! It was a really intense mental struggle. WTF?! I don't think I have had to fight so hard before. Anyhow, I am glad I didn't drink.

This morning I woke up happy I didn't drink or smoke lastnight. I had a really good lesson with my student. Afterwards, we had lunch at a chalet nearby. I was offered wine and declined with no problem at all. I spent the afternoon walking around looking in shops.

The Dolmites are just breathtaking! I'm glad I am sober and able to really enjoy myself.

Hope everybody is doing well!

Jade19

Hey everyone!!! I am so glad everyone had a great weekend!!! SUCCESS!!! and Bjork I wanna see pics!!! I can send you my email...I just can imagine how beautiful it is there!!

Well I went to my sister's for her party, and LO and BEHOLD it was a full blown drink fest!!! I was really taken aback...I seriously thought I was going to crawl out of my skin and hit that barrel of ice cold beer and go to town...I had to walk outside to compose myself..I was shaking a bit!!!! I went in got a huge plate of wonderful food and tried to socialize as much as I could. It was hard not to stare down at their drinks like a man (forgive me for generalizing men) stares at a womens chest!!! I had to keep telling myself, look into their eyes, look into their eyes...I wonder if men do that!! LOLOL After I ate and got full It really faded and we landed up having a wonderful time. On the drive home my husband and I just started laughing because we knew that there is NO WAY we could ever drink like them....I was like lightweights wouldn't know where their beer went...and it really was humorous and a bit comforting to be able to realize and acknowledge our drinking habits. We are not social drinkers and we will never be, we be alcoholics. =)

On a side note, today I will be working on day 30....you guys have no idea what this means to me...I haven't gone 30 days since I was 13 and neither has my husband...it's an awesome awesome feeling and I just pray to my God that he continues to guide me down this road that He has paved for me....I just feel so DA&M HAPPY!!!

Well I just wanted to check in and I love reading that everyone is rocking on with their lives soberly!!

THANKS YOU GUYS!!! Your posts have helped keep me sober and I really appreciate you opening up about your lives....
:ghug2

~Rebecca

jade09

Hello Jade19...so glad to see you are here....!!!
I've been away for TOO long....have not posted in over a week i think....
I'm burnt out....school is killing me, well....school/work/love/life/addiction/ ?!?!?!?!
Hope all is well / OK wih everyone...have to catch up...but SOOOOO happy when I saw Jade19 as the last post on the JuneBugs
Is everyone still around????

Lindsay

CONGRATS ON 30 DAYS REB!!!!!!

That's awesome...so proud of you! Also, it sounds like you did a great job staying strong at the party. YAY!

Day 58 here. I'll check in again later tonight when I have a bit more time...Until then...

bjork

Reb- Congrats on 30 days!!!! You should be proud!! And good job at the unexpected party! Way to stay strong!!! I laughed so hard over you and your husband joking about them being lightweights LOL Your posts have helped keep me sober as well. I'll send some pics. Send me your email. I'm not sure how to do that on here, so let me know.

I am doing well. I feel fat as h*ll, but I think that may have something to do with Flo just showing up today. Other than that, I am pretty much just chilling out here. I'm feeling very blessed to have this opportunity and I am feeeling very thankful to be sober.

On a side note.....
I knew Jill was going to pick Ed!!!! Poor Reid! Kipton will be the next bachelor.

Jade19

HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO JUUUUUUNNNNEEEBUGS!!!!!!!

I can't believe I made it to 30 days!!! I am sooo pumped!!! WOOHOOO!!!

Bjork, my email is [email protected], you can email me anytime =) Would love to see the pics....I feel fat too but mine is due to the fact that I hurt my knee and haven't been able to exercise in 4 days...BLECH

Did any of you read that post in the newbie part about the 34 year old? OMG I HATE reading stuff like that because it scares the sh&t out of me but then I know I have to read that stuff to keep me sober....here is part of the post:

I am 34 years old, and I went to the emergency room about week ago for extreme stomach pain. I had occasionally vomited blood; I believed it was an ulcer. I didn't think anything about the dark color of my stool, except that I haven't made a solid bowel movement in months, if not a year. I figured it was all related to my ulcer problem. Boy was I wrong. At the ER, I underwent an ultrasound and three CT scans. I have been a heavy drinker since I was about 16 years old. The CT scan revealed my ulcer, which was no surprise, and then the ER doctor asked me to sit down. I did, and he then revealed to me that I have cirrhosis of the liver. He told me in the best case, I have 17 to 24 months to live. Since I don't have insurance, this is my fate. My hands are shaking as I type this. Sorry, I just can't believe that I have just been given an expiration date like what's on a battery or a gallon of milk. The only thing I can say to this is: If you have children and they like to party like I did, please inform them of the fate that might be in store for them.


Makes me wonder who the original poster was and if they are still with us. It just freaks me out because I started drinking at 13 and am 36....I was googling cirrhosis all morning trying to figure out if I have it...I get paranoid like that...I think I am okay but my God!!! WE CANNOT KEEP DRINKING MY FAMILY!!!

Anyway, hope I am not bringing anyone down....sorry if I did....

Have a BLESSED BLESSED day everyone!!!

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!
Rebecca

Lindsay

As far as the bachelorette goes...I thought she was going to pick Ed too. Kipton seems like a great guy, but he always came across slightly boring to me. I don't know why really. My favorite was BY FAR Reid. Did you guys watch the follow up last night? Reid was still so emotional about it! Aw. I think Id rather see Reid be the next bachelor than Kipton. I love Reid!

bjork

Hello everybody! Hope everybody is doing well. I have been in the hotel lobby on the computer all day (well for the past 5 hours anyhow) LOL The people working at this hotel must think I am completely anti-social.

Sober and loving it!! I'm so much more productive!

I hope everybody is doing well and starts posting again soon.

Reb-I emailed you a few pics. I need to take more. I'll send some more soon.

Jade19

Hey everyone!!!! Doing good on this end!!! I wasn't able to open the pics Bjork =( Can you re-send them? If it's not too much trouble? =) Went to a BBQ tonight and oddly the drinking didn't bother me this time...I think it's because they have their drinks or two and almost everyone switches to water...I am hanging around a new crowd who doesn't know about us and our problems but no one seems to notice it...it's SOOOO refreshing. This would NEVER happen with my old crowd....Hope to hear from some others as well. Bjork, tell me more about your trip!! =)

HUGS MY FAMILY!!!
Rebecca

waterfountain

Hey guys!
Had a rough week. I found out on Thursday from a close co-worker that our new boss (new as of tomorrow) had wanted to report me a couple of months ago because someone thought I sounded drunk when I called in sick (I had been vomiting all morning that day, I remember, and was far from drunk), and thus fueled a rumor-mill that may or may not have dissipated, I honestly have no way of knowing. This has really weighed heavily on me; I've felt strong urges to drink, incredible anxiety about what my work-image is, general depression about my situation in and dissatisfaction with life.... In short, I've been feeling pretty damn down. I've felt like crying at the tiniest things; situations that should bring me amusement or happiness have left me feeling instead ashamed and depressed.
How do I get out of this funk?
I feel too directionless to go for a walk, too worn out to work out, not ambitious enough to read, even playing games or watching movies feels immediately useless......

Reb, what you wrote about, the 34-year old - that has certainly helped me keep away from the drink during this funk. *cringe* That is scary stuff.
*sigh* My brain hurts.
I'm going to go check out our arcade here at SR and hope my mind slows down with these negative emotion-evoking thoughts.

Hope everything's going well for everyone!

Jade19

Hey Waterfountain,

I feel the pain coming from your post. I think once we get a few days under our belts we automatically think we HAVE to be happy, that life is good, etc. etc. I have been down lately too and ya know what...I'm going with it. It's the first time in years I haven't turned to the bottle to cheer me up or to get out of my mind and while I hate it, I am feeling it. Sorry about your job situation but maybe let it be a motivator to kick some arse!!! The kicker is that no matter what you do or say you cannot control what others think about you....plain and simple. Not a dang thing you can do...you need to focus on yourself and things will fall into place after that. May take some time but it will happen...Your funk sounds like a bit of depression and I know what it's like to feel like crying and just feeling like holing up in your place and hiding. Please please think back to what got you here when those urges kick in...read that post I posted over and over...Whenever I get the urge going that's what I do. I search for real stories on here to literally scare me straight. It's too easy to feel good and think we can control it or get down and out and not give a shite anymore....please keep posting and reading. We got your back WF!!!!!

HUGS!!!!!
Rebecca

bjork

Reb-I have more photos to send you. I'l try to do it today.

Hey Waterfountain! I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I can understand how that stuff just "consumes" you. I wouldn't be able to get it out of my mind and it would keep me down too. Stay strong WF! Keep posting on here and let us know how you're doing.

How do you get out of the funk???? I think posting and talking about it (like you're doing) is best. I find in situations like these, I eventually talk myself into some sort of acceptance or better way of dealing with my emotions that are getting me down. AND...... take really good care of yourself!