Class of June-Part 2
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
Chameleon! Try to look on the bright side. Maybe it's a good thing you remember exactly what you did... that way you can keep it in mind when you get the urge to drink. My guilt and shame is fading with time. It's still there but there's also a bit of pride creeping in as I gain sober time and keep pushing myself to make the right choices, no matter how uncomfortable it might make me. I'm sorry you have a cold. Please be gentle with yourself! Congrats on day 5!Awww Lindsay! Time of the month plus boyfriend's hurt feelings!... That's rough! You are moving forward! It's just sometimes 2 steps forward and 1 step back. It's not linear, ya know? Boyfriend is gonna take some time to work through his feelings too. Sorry it upset you! But isn't it great that he was upset about something from a month ago instead of last night? Sounds like progress to me. Congrats on 1 month!
8
:dayMember
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 55
Well hello, congrats....and good to see you all....................my stomach is driving me insane today.....major tummy ache!!!....i was gonna hang out and try to give a shout out to each of u ...but....i'm illin!!!.....aside from that doin alright......as for the fourth......the family members that i still have will gather @ 1 of my daughter's eat, catch up on what everyon's up to.....yadda, yadda,......my oldest sisters boys and their families live 6 hours away from the rest of us....so we don't see much of each other...the 4th has become our annual family reunion....the rest of us that live down here near each other all work etc. So we don't see each other as much as we should....so,,,,that's the plan......major family time....thanks for everyone's concern.....i appreciate the kindness.....hugs 2 u all!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: 45 degrees latitude
Posts: 129
eog,
Are you doing any better today (or if you read this [I]after[I] the update, "have you been doing any better at all" *wink*)? I hope some sleep helped!
Chama,
I'm sorry to hear that your therapy session was tough *hug*, and I'm glad that you were able to unwind a bit (with the help of SR even; sweet!). Hopefully today went smoothly for you. You're on day 40, right? Major accomplishment! Please accept my internet high-five!
Chameleon,
While it is obviously important that you do remember what happened while you were drinking, and even more so that you didn't like who you were/what you did, I feel I should stress to you that you must not feel negative about it. It has already happened; it's done. No need to let your present mood be affected by past events. It's a difficult exercise in mental prowess: to remember what happened without experiencing any emotions attached to the memory. Such can easily drain you; it can take a lot of will power to look back on yourself, not like what you see, but instead of letting it get you down, use what you remember to motivate you to do better now - today, tomorrow, and the next day. So, welcome to the June board! I wish you the best of luck, I sincerely hope your mood improves and things start to look at least a little better, and I hope you get inspired to post here often, day or night
Lindsay,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Congrats on 1 month!!!!! I am very happy for you! I know the "time of the month" can really suck; that used to be a big trigger for me. I hope you find something to help ease you through it. I'm stressed out about mine - I'm supposed to be on my cycle this week, but no signs of anything. My birth control routine got seriously messed up when I was in the hospital earlier this month - so I have no idea what's going on for me *worried*. As for your boyfriend issue - please remember this mantra:
"Boys are stupid"
:P (males in the thread: no offense to men! Oh, no. Nothing wrong with men. But some boyfriends really haven't moved out of the realm of boy and can easily come off as childishly ignorant... or, simply stupid
)
Jade19,
Congrats on day 3! Those first 4 or 5 were what I consider to be hell, so my heart and best wishes go out to you
see you guys later!
Are you doing any better today (or if you read this [I]after[I] the update, "have you been doing any better at all" *wink*)? I hope some sleep helped!
Chama,
I'm sorry to hear that your therapy session was tough *hug*, and I'm glad that you were able to unwind a bit (with the help of SR even; sweet!). Hopefully today went smoothly for you. You're on day 40, right? Major accomplishment! Please accept my internet high-five!
Chameleon,
While it is obviously important that you do remember what happened while you were drinking, and even more so that you didn't like who you were/what you did, I feel I should stress to you that you must not feel negative about it. It has already happened; it's done. No need to let your present mood be affected by past events. It's a difficult exercise in mental prowess: to remember what happened without experiencing any emotions attached to the memory. Such can easily drain you; it can take a lot of will power to look back on yourself, not like what you see, but instead of letting it get you down, use what you remember to motivate you to do better now - today, tomorrow, and the next day. So, welcome to the June board! I wish you the best of luck, I sincerely hope your mood improves and things start to look at least a little better, and I hope you get inspired to post here often, day or night
Lindsay,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Congrats on 1 month!!!!! I am very happy for you! I know the "time of the month" can really suck; that used to be a big trigger for me. I hope you find something to help ease you through it. I'm stressed out about mine - I'm supposed to be on my cycle this week, but no signs of anything. My birth control routine got seriously messed up when I was in the hospital earlier this month - so I have no idea what's going on for me *worried*. As for your boyfriend issue - please remember this mantra:
"Boys are stupid"
:P (males in the thread: no offense to men! Oh, no. Nothing wrong with men. But some boyfriends really haven't moved out of the realm of boy and can easily come off as childishly ignorant... or, simply stupid
)Jade19,
Congrats on day 3! Those first 4 or 5 were what I consider to be hell, so my heart and best wishes go out to you
see you guys later!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
Good Morning all!
Just checking in here with my coffee. Feeling fine, birds are singing, it's going to be a beautiful day! My family is coming to see me in just over a week and I'm mega excited about it. (My dear sister, her hubby and 2 kids) I need to do some little things in preparation... make sure the airmattress don't have holes, dust off the beach umbrellas, etc. So, I think that's my plan to day.
Hope everyone is well!
Just checking in here with my coffee. Feeling fine, birds are singing, it's going to be a beautiful day! My family is coming to see me in just over a week and I'm mega excited about it. (My dear sister, her hubby and 2 kids) I need to do some little things in preparation... make sure the airmattress don't have holes, dust off the beach umbrellas, etc. So, I think that's my plan to day.
Hope everyone is well!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Thanks everyone! I'm feeling much better today...It was funny yesterday because I really was being a complete b*&%@ to my boyfriend. He is seriously the most patient person ever, haha. As I was leaving work I sent him a text message and said..."I know JUST what I need right now, a new purse." Shopping always puts me in a good mood and lifts my spirits! Unfortunately I couldn't find anything to buy....but as I was on my way to his house he called and said he was renting us movies...he got "Confessions of a Shopahlic" for me...and it totally MADE MY DAY. haha. Sometimes all you really need is a good movie for a little pick me up.
Cham- yay for family visiting! That is always nice. I know how the whole preperation thing can be...so good luck getting things together!
waterfountain- you sure do seem busy!!! haha..brushing your teeth and typing at the same time? That sure is multi-tasking! How many days do you have now? But yes...that time of the month has always been a trigger for me as well. this month seems magnified...probably has something to do with the fact that i recently went off my AD...but making it through!
bnme- hows everything going for you???? hope you have fun this weekend w/the family! stay strong!
reb- Thank you! congrats on getting through day 3! you need to speak up in your meeting- get that chip! of course I don't have much room to talk in that dept...I have always WANTED to go to AA. I have just never worked up the nerve. I know it would be a wonderful support system and a great way for me to meet people that I can relate to. Hmm...maybe some day...
WELL...I suppose I should do some work. I've been too busy socializing, browsing the internet, and drinking coffee this morning to get much of anything done... Have a great day all!!!!
Cham- yay for family visiting! That is always nice. I know how the whole preperation thing can be...so good luck getting things together!
waterfountain- you sure do seem busy!!! haha..brushing your teeth and typing at the same time? That sure is multi-tasking! How many days do you have now? But yes...that time of the month has always been a trigger for me as well. this month seems magnified...probably has something to do with the fact that i recently went off my AD...but making it through!
bnme- hows everything going for you???? hope you have fun this weekend w/the family! stay strong!
reb- Thank you! congrats on getting through day 3! you need to speak up in your meeting- get that chip! of course I don't have much room to talk in that dept...I have always WANTED to go to AA. I have just never worked up the nerve. I know it would be a wonderful support system and a great way for me to meet people that I can relate to. Hmm...maybe some day...
WELL...I suppose I should do some work. I've been too busy socializing, browsing the internet, and drinking coffee this morning to get much of anything done...
Have a great day all!!!! Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Hey everyone!!! Had a tough day yesterday, not cravings, but just physically. Tired, moody the usual. LOL @Lindsay, I know I need to step up but I really get so nervous. The meetings here are HUGE and I hate having any sort of attention being put on me. I will get there and when I do I will post here immediately. =)
So last night the hubby and I had a chat. He is an alcoholic as well and he usually is very supportive but lately he has been a bit distant. I told him last week that I had made an appointment to go into IOP on the 8th and that I was just sick of not helping myself and so I was being proactive. He just sort of shrugged and said ok. VERY odd reaction for him not to ask where? When? How long? He just looked at me. I think a part of him is scared that I may actually follow through with this because it will impact his drinking. I think he is so used to me trying and failing and this IOP I am going to may change that. I am honestly a bit afraid of what could happen. I don't think he is honestly ready to get sober and now feels that I am somehow going to ruin his party. I want him to quit drinking, I REALLY do, but right now I am more focused on myself. So when we were talking last night we realized that we have never been sober in our marriage, not once in our 13 years together. I think this freaked us both out a bit. We were drunk when we got married and it has just continued from there. Have any of you been in a similar situation? Any advice would be appreciated. =)
Sorry so long.....but thanks for reading....
TONS OF HUGS!!!!!!!!
Reb
So last night the hubby and I had a chat. He is an alcoholic as well and he usually is very supportive but lately he has been a bit distant. I told him last week that I had made an appointment to go into IOP on the 8th and that I was just sick of not helping myself and so I was being proactive. He just sort of shrugged and said ok. VERY odd reaction for him not to ask where? When? How long? He just looked at me. I think a part of him is scared that I may actually follow through with this because it will impact his drinking. I think he is so used to me trying and failing and this IOP I am going to may change that. I am honestly a bit afraid of what could happen. I don't think he is honestly ready to get sober and now feels that I am somehow going to ruin his party. I want him to quit drinking, I REALLY do, but right now I am more focused on myself. So when we were talking last night we realized that we have never been sober in our marriage, not once in our 13 years together. I think this freaked us both out a bit. We were drunk when we got married and it has just continued from there. Have any of you been in a similar situation? Any advice would be appreciated. =)
Sorry so long.....but thanks for reading....
TONS OF HUGS!!!!!!!!
Reb
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Chameleon Boy wrote:
I guess I'm the baby of this class? I hope to get to know everyone in the class of June because I really need support right now. I'm so depressed at the way I acted it just doesn't seem to be going away. I wish I would have blacked out the whole time but for some reason this time I do remember what I was like. Not something to be proud of.
Hi Chameleon!!! Welcome Welcome!!! I know exactly how you feel. The guilt can be so overwhelming and it seems the longer I am sober the more the memories flood back to me. I have wished too before that I would have been blacked out the whole time. But the last few nights I wish I could remember, I wish I knew what I had done or said...I wish I knew exactly what I needed to ask forgiveness for. Such a tough road we are all going down but just think we don't ever have to feel this way again. EVER! =) That makes me feel so much better....I need tons of support too, I only have 3 full days after a relapse....we can do this!! Hope you write more....
:ghug
Rebecca
I guess I'm the baby of this class? I hope to get to know everyone in the class of June because I really need support right now. I'm so depressed at the way I acted it just doesn't seem to be going away. I wish I would have blacked out the whole time but for some reason this time I do remember what I was like. Not something to be proud of.
Hi Chameleon!!! Welcome Welcome!!! I know exactly how you feel. The guilt can be so overwhelming and it seems the longer I am sober the more the memories flood back to me. I have wished too before that I would have been blacked out the whole time. But the last few nights I wish I could remember, I wish I knew what I had done or said...I wish I knew exactly what I needed to ask forgiveness for. Such a tough road we are all going down but just think we don't ever have to feel this way again. EVER! =) That makes me feel so much better....I need tons of support too, I only have 3 full days after a relapse....we can do this!! Hope you write more....
:ghug
Rebecca
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Junebugs,
I need help..I already got your take Chameleonboy and thanks =).
I got that job at the liquor store guys....I am really freaking out about this because it not only affects my sobriety but my finances as well. I really need some honest advice and thoughts. Please help....In the chat room, I got some replies but I am really struggling with this. Anything would be appreciated.
~Reb
I need help..I already got your take Chameleonboy and thanks =).
I got that job at the liquor store guys....I am really freaking out about this because it not only affects my sobriety but my finances as well. I really need some honest advice and thoughts. Please help....In the chat room, I got some replies but I am really struggling with this. Anything would be appreciated.
~Reb
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Hey Reb! Well, congrats on getting the job...but the most important question is; Can you remain sober working there? Will it trigger you? You are the only one that can answer those questions. I know that there are many alcoholics that work in bars, etc and are okay with it. I personally would not be able to do that right now and remain sober...but everyone is different!
I don't know your financial situation, but if there's a chance it will trigger you...are your finances worth that risk? If you start drinking will you even be able to work?
Lots to think about...let me know what you think!
I don't know your financial situation, but if there's a chance it will trigger you...are your finances worth that risk? If you start drinking will you even be able to work?
Lots to think about...let me know what you think!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SLC
Posts: 97
I still have a bad cold and am really miserable and in a dark mood. I know it will get better, it always does. I had to go get some more juice and soup and was feeling a little better and....the thought of drinking popped into my head again. I had to really think about why I would drink. I don't have the answer but I do know some changes have to be made in my life.
It was nice talking to you for a moment in chat Rebecca. So you already know my answer to your question. I didn't know anyone here had less time then me so I guess I'm not the baby, I have a little sister. Glad to here you went to an AA meeting. I haven't been to one since I stopped drinking but I have been in the past and will be going back soon.
Not sure what else to say, sorry you couldn't find a purse Lindsy.
No comment on that time of the month.
Thank you all in this thread for the kind words and support. I am glad you are all here and hope everyone is doing well.
It was nice talking to you for a moment in chat Rebecca. So you already know my answer to your question. I didn't know anyone here had less time then me so I guess I'm not the baby, I have a little sister. Glad to here you went to an AA meeting. I haven't been to one since I stopped drinking but I have been in the past and will be going back soon.
Not sure what else to say, sorry you couldn't find a purse Lindsy.
No comment on that time of the month.
Thank you all in this thread for the kind words and support. I am glad you are all here and hope everyone is doing well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: 45 degrees latitude
Posts: 129
Hey everyone!
I'm just getting back from a night out at a festival and concert - I'm dog tired and my legs and feet are killing me!
It was a warm evening, and there was beer EVERYWHERE! That would've normally been enough to get me to stand in line and get a cup of the cheep domestic brew for probably triple the price at a store. Not tonight though - I didn't feel inclined in the slightest to fork over the $3 for the "21+" wristband, plus the $6 for a 14oz plastic cup of beer. I just kept sippin' my water and wanderin' around. So, progress!
I just felt like rambling this off before I go wash up and get to bed. It's closing in on 11:30 already!
I hope everyone has a good night tonight, and a great morning tomorrow. I think I'll sleep in a bit since I have the day off, but then I'll pop in here and see what's shakin'
Take care everyone!
I'm just getting back from a night out at a festival and concert - I'm dog tired and my legs and feet are killing me!
It was a warm evening, and there was beer EVERYWHERE! That would've normally been enough to get me to stand in line and get a cup of the cheep domestic brew for probably triple the price at a store. Not tonight though - I didn't feel inclined in the slightest to fork over the $3 for the "21+" wristband, plus the $6 for a 14oz plastic cup of beer. I just kept sippin' my water and wanderin' around. So, progress!
I just felt like rambling this off before I go wash up and get to bed. It's closing in on 11:30 already!
I hope everyone has a good night tonight, and a great morning tomorrow. I think I'll sleep in a bit since I have the day off, but then I'll pop in here and see what's shakin'
Take care everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 55
well..............hell 2 da O....to all of u guys.....i feel neglected so imma go check out some other folks for a while........lol!!!......my family!!!.......hope all are doing good, i'm just peachy!!!...off to work, hang tuff.....luv bnme247
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by bnme247 
well..............hell 2 da O....to all of u guys.....i feel neglected so imma go check out some other folks for a while........lol!!!......my family!!!.......hope all are doing good, i'm just peachy!!!...off to work, hang tuff.....luv bnme247
What do you need that you're not getting bnme? I always find that I have a lot better chance of getting what I need when I'm able to clearly communicate what my needs are. Help us out, please!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: 45 degrees latitude
Posts: 129
Originally Posted by Jade19
Our thread has dwindled down to just a few now....makes me sad that we started out with such a strong class and there are just a few of us left...btw on day 5 today!!! WOOHOO for me...LOL
What happened to everyone?Anyway, yay! Day 5! That was the last really really tough day for me in the first week - I sincerely hope your toughest days are behind you now as well
Back in a bit!
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