cinderellawkids

what are your sides debating?

That things wont change. Its time to stop riding a dead horse, emotional side says, its not dead, only very sick.

Im pmsing, and I have the blahs. The heat and humidity seems worse than usual and the barometric pressure changes are messing with my seratonin and dopamine levels

kj0975

Hmm we get the same weather last week so freaking hot couldnt stand it. This week cool and thunderstroms and cloudy but at least its cooler and liveable. Is that a word? So we are always complaining about the weather here too. Never just a happy medium.

We are going to take the kids out to a nice place to eat they have never been anywhere really nice for dinner or lunch. In fact they didnt even know what a restraunt was when I asked if they wanted to go to one lol. They only know diner. they are excited. See its nice that we can do these things with them.

kj0975

Cinder I think it could be that he was there last week and now its the weekend again and maybe your missing him. I think u were doing so much better with the NO contact thing. U were strong again and really coming out of your shell. Now a week with him and back to hurting and missing and wishing and wanting. I know its hard. We want so badly for them to get better and to be what we want right now I guess thats not in the cards for either of u. Take some time out for yourself and u will feel a bit better.

cinderellawkids

I dont miss him, he's camping in the backyard. So saaaadddd

cookconfay

Oh gosh, gag, me too. I just give the f*ck up ya know. I try to blow it off and see how I feel later. I can obsess and analyze everything to death. My gut is ALWAYS right and when I deny that. . .I pay for it later. In light of everything that has come to the surface lately. . .I guess I'm gonna take it really slow, like 5 minutes at a time. Good news is I don't really have to deal with abf til this evening. I can have a good day til then and even after that if I choose. His behaviors or lack of the right kind, LOL, do NOT have to dictate what my mood will be. IF he decides to go to a meeting tonight well HELL YEAH, I'm there with him and if not. . .I might just go anyway. . . what a concept??? That's what I did last week and it really made me feel GREAT. I can make it through anything, I AM ok really, and DON'T NEED HIM, I may want him and if he wants to play nice then maybe he can play SOMETIMES AND WHEN I SAY DAM*ITT!!!

cookconfay

Wow, I didn't realize he was in the backyard!!!!! Can you just leave for a few days and get away for a while? Any friend or family member ya'll can go hang out with over the weekend?

kj0975

Camping in the backyard what??? Boy thats seems to be the trend around here. Get him out of there I know with the laws and blah blah blah the more u see him the more it brings u down. Bottom line. Has he even paid u any $ that he is promising? Is he working? What does he have to offer u? Where do u see yourself in 1,2,3 or 10yrs with him? What do u want out of life? Can he give that to u?

Emotions being like a teeter totter sucks but its time to lay the cards on the table time for him to chyte or get off the pot. stop riding the dead horse and go get yourself a cowboy. Your pretty your young your smart u can and will do so much better someone who wont constantly let u down. Put that foot down. U know its the best thing right now.

kj0975

JEWELZ HI been thinking about u!!!!

cookconfay

Amen to that!! How about taking care of you for a change and doing/getting what YOU want????

teke

hey yall, just checking in. i'm doing ok, not too happy though, my laptop is not working properly and i want a cig.

i'm feeling depressed and i don't understand what is wrong. sorry, i'm not in such good space these days/

teke

look yall, i've already missed about 7 pages. would it be too much to ask, if i ask someone to kind of sum up whats been going on?

cinder,
sounds like your ah is camping in your back yard. i hope i'm wrong, but if not, why?
i understand if you don't want to answer.

looks like jewelz surfaced, if so, hi jewelz

teke

thanks anvil, now who is camping in cindy's backyard?

cookconfay

anvil, what a summary LOL

nevergivingup

Ugh! Decided to go to work today, and I'm totally regretting it! Thankfully I have a break now, and just one more client left to see! My head is spinning, I'm nauseous, and have zero energy!!!!!

cinderellawkids

Yeah AH showed up Wednesday night, when I arrived home from work he was fixing me and the boys dinner. Honestly I dont care enough to fight I sat down and quietly explained why I needed to be alone, why I was still angry and why this wasnt fair to me. Yesterday am I dropped him off at Day labor and I get home and he's back set up the tent my grandpa had got the boys and thats where he's at.

I was out with kids both evenings and he was sleeping on a lounge chair outside when we get home. Im at the ignoring stage. I did get $50 bucks yesterday, which paid for his gas last week.

I have no plans to go right home this evening, gonna hang out at my moms a bit.

Just got back from a good lunch a girlfriend took me out. (Teke, the one I told you found the love of her life at 61 after 2 horrible marriages)
Anyway now I feel better just not thinking about Ah focusing on me, all me , well and the boys. Gonna plant some plants this weekend in yard from clippings, gonna scrub the bathrooms and hey why he's at the graveling stage maybe ill get AH to go mow the lawn at the other house and clean up some stuff there, or maybe by then he'll have gotten bored enough to leave

cookconfay

Ok, so you all knew about my never ending bottomless pit for a stomach right? I did my "weigh-in" and again my gut. . .no pun intended. . .was right. I knew I gained and I did, thankfully I am still a little over 20lbs down! It's a combination of no sleep, stress, I ate a whole pkg of cookies "at" the abf last Friday night, the horrible hormone holiday and this dang good job taking us out to eat all the time! There are worse things I guess, but it sure pisses me off. I got so disgusted that I left there and immediately went and got me a really big lunch complete with dessert and of course my HUGE peach tea. Now that's some rational thinking huh? And ya'll member me telling you about the BONEHEAD at the bank we have to deal with? Well her boss, the VP is just about a goober too. He's all trying to send me snotty emails and I PROMPTLY responded to him and bcc'd my boss. Just try to get me in trouble mister. I'm still looking to give a good fat lip

MsPINKAcres

OK I'm back- don't start replying to yourself

I had an emergency trip to Tuesday Morning - Ours had been closed for two weeks - just reopened yesterday - Met a girlfriend to look for stuff for her new house.
Love shopping there for stuff for the house. There & Ross - I have found great stuff to decorate the new house - at really great prices.

I said love shopping there - let me correct that - I just love shopping - doesn't matter where - I'm even one of those freaky people that likes to grocery shop.

So, anvil - if there is beer involved maybe you won't be having fresh fish for supper tonight????

MsPINKAcres

hey cook - maybe try "retail therapy" instead of eating - that's my cure all -

take the money I would spend on eating and spend it shopping (did I mention I can put away some food!!!) - Plus I'm a bargain shopper - so it makes it fun for me - not to mention the exercise I get for beating up the little ole ladies running over them at the Garage Sales and Discount Stores. (Ok - so I'm embellishing the story a little

cookconfay

Well I am a compulsive spender too I guess I can qualify myself for yet another dang program. BUT. . .with the 3 yr old in tow, I go very few places when she's with me, I try to do everything including grocery shopping at lunch. Since I had her though I've become an EBAY addict and shop mostly on line. I do however LOVE the thrift stores and garage sales. Those however usually require more time than I have to spend during lunch! A week or so ago though at lunch I went to this thrift store by my house and got 2 really cool shirts for like 3.50 or something. I LOVE A GOOD BARGAIN!!!!!

MsPINKAcres

Anvil - I tip my hat to you - Putting coffee - I would be more like "pouring" coffee on - I still have a very hard time being around a drinker.

You know how some people say they don't like people when they drink - I don't like ME when I'm around other people that drink -

I guess I'm still too much of an "almond job"