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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Part 19

Old 07-15-2007, 02:28 AM
  # 401 (permalink)  
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I am not going to bed...I thought you were!

Gee I have taken enought breaks to have a fit here...he should have been able to catch a few snoozes. LOL
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Old 07-15-2007, 02:30 AM
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well for me to go to bed is a slow drawn out process....glad you found the hammer1
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Old 07-15-2007, 02:42 AM
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Change of tactic. I will take a nice bath last thing. With that yummy smelling stuff and then use the same yummy lotion and go sleep in his bed. He has the nose of a bloodhound. He will smell me for a week.

I am smoking one of his cigarettes. Don't want to run out too soon.

Okay. The blinds.
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Old 07-15-2007, 03:22 AM
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Okay, the blinds made me climb up on a table and get behind two tall lamps. Made me sweat. But they are up. That is a guilt manuever. He said he would do it, I told him I could and he said no, that is a man's job.

I have a better idea of a man's job

And, as he has mentioned from time to time that the frig needs to be cleaned, I made sure to put an old carton of macaroni salad in the trash. By Monday morning it will be nauseating to him. And I won't be able to even smell it.

The stuff behind the chair is gone. I threw away all the grocery flyers he always hands over to me, pulled out a couple of important things that I happened to notice and the rest went into Wal-Mart bags in the storage room.

Am working on that last beer. Seeing as how it has taken me all night to get down 2 and 2/3 there is no way I have any buzz. But there's none left, should someone get frustrated and want a beer. It's a no-no anyway for someone on morphine. Not that he gets out of hand but on occassion, not often, he will have one or two. Especially if he is in a pout.

Heck I even pulled up some big weeds from around the back steps. And am feeling fine.

But isn't it time to get up?????? It is 5:15!!!!

Now, what am I going to do?

I moved the excercise thing away from my set table and put it against the side of the frig, where it sticks out some and is on the living room side directly behind his chair and those mirrors.

Okay I will clean the table and reset it.

I really want to vacuum first then bathe.

But I won't start the vacuum until he gets up...that's not blameless Despite what he said earlier.
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Old 07-15-2007, 04:08 AM
  # 405 (permalink)  
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Srew it, the table is lovely as it is.

Wonder if I could figure out how to set ALL the photos to slideshow as a screensaver? I like that idea. It isn't going to bother me.

Anyway ever read that ancient book from AA about alocholic marriages?
It's been over a decade since I read it. But one lady tells how when you are angry, to go out and pull the weeds out of the flowers and pretend it is his hair and in the end you will have beautiful bouquets of flowers. Or to bake bread and pound it and knead it like it was him and you would be rewarded with fresh baked bread?

That's more messed up than I am! I haven't been thinking about pulling his hair or beating him up. I haven't been that malevolent. Not at all. Altho' I am smoking another one of his cigarettes. But he would share with me if I asked, we do it all the time.

I"ll bet his is finally asleep now. Man, That is screwed up, he always get us around now. I heard him cough, but won't go in and intentionally bother him.

It's morning! I have all ready brewed my regular pot of decaf...and his is ready, I just have to tell him I got it ready but couldn't get it to brew.

Do you think it was the work or the beer that mellowed me a bit. I think it is the beer. And don't worry there is no more. Unless I put a bit of apricot brandy in my coffee, just a bit for flavor.

I can't go to bed now. It would ruin me. Besides where would I sleep? Storage room is really crowded now and right now it would be bad form. Timing is everything in tactic.

GETUP! So I can apologize and vacuumly quickly, it won't take long really. It's a teeny tiny mobile home (trailer) Apologize for vacuuming so early because it is a rude wakeup.
Crap I can hear him talking in his sleep. That means he is really, really asleep and dreaming.

I AM NOT going to do 3 months of filing receipts and bookkeeping today/tomorrow.
Save that for Monday. That is out of the question.

I didn't even drink two whole cups of coffee...about 1 1/2. And he has kept me busy and I have got more done tonight that I have at one time in more months than I want to count. Never had the laundry this organized since we moved here.

I want more caffeine......I need to keep up and on top of things for a few more hours.

I used to work at a sort of famous resort in the banquets dept...and we did this all the time. Like the love boat. Same people on staff all day, all night for the weekend or killer for 4 day events. I was single and helping support daughter, xabf and brand new grandson, so I would just stay at the hotel start at 5 am-9am for breakfast, 10-2 for lunch, 4-10 for dinner and until 1 or so for cocktails, parties after. In between you run to your room and sleep in between. By day 3 you start wanting to maim and kill. So, this is a short run compared to that. I know how to do it, and it was ALOT more work.
This has been an easy show.

And let the chips fall where they may......ex p-doc.
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Old 07-15-2007, 05:19 AM
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Good morning! It's a brand new day!

Well, hubby woke between 6:15 and 6:30...good. I explained about how I had his coffee ready but it wouldn't perk. I hadn't prepared it correctly because I thought it was strong before and he says it needs two more spoons of grounds. Lovely...he's the coffee stud. Right?

I got the slideshow going right before he came out. It was/is really cool, actually, memories....from when he designed the chiki hut at the Watering hole and it's progress during construction which he journaled with camera,. ...alot of the fun trips and places we have been, first date, and even the graphic ones, I find doesn't bother me,...wasn't that what I was griping about. He seemed uncomfortable and didn't look, but I don't know whether it was the slide show or just everything...more likely the latter.

So, as it was light outside I took scissors and cut two lovely bouquets....one of bougainvilla...hot pink in a red vase....and white crepe myrtle in a short jade vase.

I picked the remote he threw off the floor and put it on his ottoman, but he seems to be having problems with it. It won't work. Not even changing batteries.

It looks like he made the bed....but I don't think that's true. I think he slept on top of it and just put the pillows back in place.

I hate to bother him about the vaccum just yet.

I think he is sort of upset. And no doubt frustrated with the remote on top of that.

I would guess I have 2-3 hours to vacuum clean up and meet Loves.

I am sure he thinks I have spent all my time trashing him on the computer...the time I have been on here.

So, this is thread 500.....I love firsts! I'll start the new one!
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Old 07-16-2007, 01:23 AM
  # 407 (permalink)  
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i visited my parents on saturday night, and found out that there's a good chance my brother has moved on from snorting oxy to shooting it. i'm staying centered, i'm keeping myself in a good place. i went to church today and soaked in the atmosphere. so beautiful and peaceful. i feel like it's gonna be ok. i can't control the outcome, but i can control myself right now. thanks for listening. i don't know what i would have done if i hadn't found sr back in 05. you all are the most amazing, and strong people i've ever talked to, so thanks for giving me the courage to face my own issues.
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Old 07-16-2007, 05:32 AM
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What a complete turnaround. All of a sudden he is suggesting things he knows I love, taking baths together and etc. that he has known from the get go that I wanted and missed from prior relaionships.

I talked about sexual roles, seduction and all sort of things like that. Frankly, openly and kindly.

So all of a sudden he is mr romantic.

Part of it is he knows me and I will be patient forever but when I take drastic actions, it's like a tornado warning going off. Take it seriously because you have pushed whatever it is too far and to the breaking point. Then he takes it seriously and usually is willing to make whatever change is needed.

But I could have talked about it for another year and wouldn't get really and truly heard and understood.

He knows that something MUST be rectiied. That I am at my wit's end about it and won't tolerate whatever anymore if it isn't resolved.

That is love.

And he talked about setting aside one day a week for special romance, starting with the bath together.
Now, I have talked to him about that many times before and he has not been interested or even willing to try.

And finally and this is a big celebration, I finally started my period a few minutes ago. Was too overdue.

He insists I need rest and not to work anymore today.
I am still going to hang out the clothes, soon as he gets the garbage out as it is in front of the back door to the clothes line.

Not sure what next yet.

Won't be cleaning the car this morning! Might have been good if I had been really upset one more day...who knows when it will get done now?

I am still going to set up my guest room for my own relaxing place, but not in a big push to do it either as that is what I would have tried to conquer today. Still want to have my Spanish room and etc.
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