recoveredcrackhead- It Takes A Lifetime
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Sometimes things don't go as planned, but.......
Milestones.....
I have just made my finally payment for restitution..$545.00, in 9 days the judge will release me from probation. Who would have thought that this recoveredcrackhead could amass such a sum without running straight to the dealer? And my P.O. gave me a urine test. I mean really? if I had been using I would not have had the money. Some people have no understanding how (my) addiction worked.
Stranger still is the thought that exactly one year ago I was sitting in jail on a trumped up charge which changed the course of my life, yet again.
But now, I work full time for a charitable orginization. I am active in the recovery world, striving to spread the message of hope. But most of all, I am involved with my daughters. Helping my youngest improve her new house, for which I was invited to the house warming party over the weekend. (Even talked with my ex)
God is good and I benefit of the grace just for saying so.
Be Well,
Larry
Milestones.....
I have just made my finally payment for restitution..$545.00, in 9 days the judge will release me from probation. Who would have thought that this recoveredcrackhead could amass such a sum without running straight to the dealer? And my P.O. gave me a urine test. I mean really? if I had been using I would not have had the money. Some people have no understanding how (my) addiction worked.
Stranger still is the thought that exactly one year ago I was sitting in jail on a trumped up charge which changed the course of my life, yet again.
But now, I work full time for a charitable orginization. I am active in the recovery world, striving to spread the message of hope. But most of all, I am involved with my daughters. Helping my youngest improve her new house, for which I was invited to the house warming party over the weekend. (Even talked with my ex)
God is good and I benefit of the grace just for saying so.
Be Well,
Larry
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
wow larry...congradulations
I need to focus on reading through this thread soon....tomorrow i should have some time to start.
I have 5 days clean from crack for the many-th time over the last 13 years....I've had a year 11 months clean...a year and a half....a year .... 9 months ... 6 months a couple of times and 3-4 a few more times and on and on
Maybe...just maybe if i add reading your thread to the list of "What can i do different this time" ... it will help!
keep up the good work and thanks for all your posting
I need to focus on reading through this thread soon....tomorrow i should have some time to start.
I have 5 days clean from crack for the many-th time over the last 13 years....I've had a year 11 months clean...a year and a half....a year .... 9 months ... 6 months a couple of times and 3-4 a few more times and on and on
Maybe...just maybe if i add reading your thread to the list of "What can i do different this time" ... it will help!
keep up the good work and thanks for all your posting
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
45 mins to freedom,
sitting with coffee, cigarette, music and God.
Clean white shirt, tie and no ponytail (that's unrelated) although as
I re-read that "no ponytail" it has a double meaning. It was my
"streetname". I still hear it when riding my bicycle, a year after I shed
the reason. But there is no Ponytail, Just Larry. Not the same person
Or so I've been told. I owe it all to God.
If you need a friend, a comforter, turn to God. I am glad I did.
Time for court.
Be well,
Larry
sitting with coffee, cigarette, music and God.
Clean white shirt, tie and no ponytail (that's unrelated) although as
I re-read that "no ponytail" it has a double meaning. It was my
"streetname". I still hear it when riding my bicycle, a year after I shed
the reason. But there is no Ponytail, Just Larry. Not the same person
Or so I've been told. I owe it all to God.
If you need a friend, a comforter, turn to God. I am glad I did.
Time for court.
Be well,
Larry
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Done.
As I left the courtroom, full of emotions, wanting to rejoice,
dance, sing, cry and celebrate, I noticed the sign on the wall
as I approached the elevator.....
" In the event of alarm (or fire)
1) Stay calm do not run
2) use the (exit) plan established
3) Move (to that exit)
4) Help any persons......
(and most importantly)
5) Do not re-enter the biulding
for any reason"
Sage advise if you ask me.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Be Well,
Larry
As I left the courtroom, full of emotions, wanting to rejoice,
dance, sing, cry and celebrate, I noticed the sign on the wall
as I approached the elevator.....
" In the event of alarm (or fire)
1) Stay calm do not run
2) use the (exit) plan established
3) Move (to that exit)
4) Help any persons......
(and most importantly)
5) Do not re-enter the biulding
for any reason"
Sage advise if you ask me.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Be Well,
Larry
((((HUGS))))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Larry - I'm so proud to call you my friend!!! We both waged the same battle, and though you were hesitant and I wanted to smack some sense into you, you got it. In your own time.
I am so incredibly happy for you and proud of you!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I am so incredibly happy for you and proud of you!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I second Impurrfect. I remember when I wanted to just smack you. No sense needed. LOL. Now look at you. You sir are an inspiration. I seriously have tears in my eyes.
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Well.....
Brought my girlfriend to rehab, she did hide it for a while (appearently since July) one of those functioning addict DOC's. We had drifted apart the last month or so. Then she called on Friday night with something important to talk about. She spent the weekend preparing to check in on Monday, that took a week longer than expected. She then made me promise to "be here" when she gets out... what to do? I can't go through this drama/chaos again.
Live on Purpose,
Larry
Brought my girlfriend to rehab, she did hide it for a while (appearently since July) one of those functioning addict DOC's. We had drifted apart the last month or so. Then she called on Friday night with something important to talk about. She spent the weekend preparing to check in on Monday, that took a week longer than expected. She then made me promise to "be here" when she gets out... what to do? I can't go through this drama/chaos again.
Live on Purpose,
Larry
Last edited by Dee74; 11-19-2014 at 02:24 PM.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Hi Larry
You could post in the friends and family section for support
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Do not be shy, there are quite a few of us "double winners" out there.
Also have you considered going to Al Anon or Nar Anon?
You could post in the friends and family section for support
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Do not be shy, there are quite a few of us "double winners" out there.
Also have you considered going to Al Anon or Nar Anon?
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
The end of another year.
I've heard it said if you want to make God laugh make plans.
I have also been advised when things don't go as planned to shout, "Plot twist"
and move forward.
PLOT TWIST!!!
I wanted so much to believe that I had found the place where I belonged, the job.
A couple of months ago, the manager left. a man, a boss, I was very comfortable
with. Open and honest. He was a straight-laced, through and through. But did not show prejudice in the least. To the contrary, he sought to understand. Anyway....
The "big" boss took over, against company policy/advice. He is a charlatan and narcististic at that. I tried, truly I tried to apease, to perform, to believe...that things would get better. They didn't, I grew weary and stressed. I quit!
It was a spur of the moment descision along time in the making. I quickly fell into a deep depression and slept, for nearly 3 weeks.. Well 12 -16 hrs a day and rarely left the house.
As Christmas drew near the weight got heavier, the rooms smaller and the light began to fade.
Then by God's Grace two angels blessed me yet again. My daughters, stepping up, and filling me with hope and love. It's amazing the power of love.
I start a new job next week. Perhaps I mentioned it 10 months ago. Cleaning in a hospital. I turned it down in favor of the one I just quit. Perhaps I will turn it down again, as tomorrow I apply for an inside sales position with a decorative lighting. I have experience doing the same with stage lighting.
I love God, I love my daughters and I love being clean.
Perhaps if things go just right I will start school again in a couple weeks, perhaps not. All I can do is keep moving forward and embrace the next plot twist.
Live on Purpose,
Larry
I've heard it said if you want to make God laugh make plans.
I have also been advised when things don't go as planned to shout, "Plot twist"
and move forward.
PLOT TWIST!!!
I wanted so much to believe that I had found the place where I belonged, the job.
A couple of months ago, the manager left. a man, a boss, I was very comfortable
with. Open and honest. He was a straight-laced, through and through. But did not show prejudice in the least. To the contrary, he sought to understand. Anyway....
The "big" boss took over, against company policy/advice. He is a charlatan and narcististic at that. I tried, truly I tried to apease, to perform, to believe...that things would get better. They didn't, I grew weary and stressed. I quit!
It was a spur of the moment descision along time in the making. I quickly fell into a deep depression and slept, for nearly 3 weeks.. Well 12 -16 hrs a day and rarely left the house.
As Christmas drew near the weight got heavier, the rooms smaller and the light began to fade.
Then by God's Grace two angels blessed me yet again. My daughters, stepping up, and filling me with hope and love. It's amazing the power of love.
I start a new job next week. Perhaps I mentioned it 10 months ago. Cleaning in a hospital. I turned it down in favor of the one I just quit. Perhaps I will turn it down again, as tomorrow I apply for an inside sales position with a decorative lighting. I have experience doing the same with stage lighting.
I love God, I love my daughters and I love being clean.
Perhaps if things go just right I will start school again in a couple weeks, perhaps not. All I can do is keep moving forward and embrace the next plot twist.
Live on Purpose,
Larry
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Larry)) - Isn't it amazing how our angels step up just when we need them.
I have faith that you will get the "right job" and get back to school. I truly hope the next year is good for you.
I was a bit behind on this thread, but I do agree with checking out the F&F forums. I found another home with them, though came here as another "recovering crackhead". IMO, it never hurts to have more support and ES&H in what we are going through.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy
I have faith that you will get the "right job" and get back to school. I truly hope the next year is good for you.
I was a bit behind on this thread, but I do agree with checking out the F&F forums. I found another home with them, though came here as another "recovering crackhead". IMO, it never hurts to have more support and ES&H in what we are going through.
Love, hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
Posts: 377
Hey Larry, nice to hear from you.
Sometimes quitting is a good thing and takes a brave man to realise that!
I quit my job in August, and have never looked back. Am poorer financially, but richer in what counts- my soul.
Peace and love to you for 2015
Sometimes quitting is a good thing and takes a brave man to realise that!
I quit my job in August, and have never looked back. Am poorer financially, but richer in what counts- my soul.
Peace and love to you for 2015
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Please note, this is just me bragging.
Saturday morning, surfing the net and the channels, dreading walking to the store (0 degrees).
My phone rings...at 9:30am on a Saturday morning. It's my eldest daughter. Just calling to say hello. We chatted for nearly an hour. It was true, she just called to say hi.
This from someone who went to great lengths to avoid being in my presence. My how things change. Now she just calls to say hi. God is good.
Be Well,
Larry
Saturday morning, surfing the net and the channels, dreading walking to the store (0 degrees).
My phone rings...at 9:30am on a Saturday morning. It's my eldest daughter. Just calling to say hello. We chatted for nearly an hour. It was true, she just called to say hi.
This from someone who went to great lengths to avoid being in my presence. My how things change. Now she just calls to say hi. God is good.
Be Well,
Larry
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