recoveredcrackhead- It Takes A Lifetime
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Ya it's Friday, my day off and more ice skating. but I really must take care of business. I need to apply for medicaid as the pain is growing more consumingly. i also would like to visit the employment agencies to get that ball rolling.
And I must visit Tanya.I am not sure if I have ever mentioned her. It would have been way back in the beginning. Tanya lived next door to me when I lived in the crackhouse. But she really had no idea about such thing. She is easily 80-85 yrs old and originally from Yugoslavia. ( Do you remember Yugoslovia?) So even back then I had an OCD for shovelling snow. Late at night (well, after dark) I would shovel her sidewalk and driveway, that way she could not see who was doing it. Eventually she caught me and tried to pay me. But I refused. Then she offered me food. I did not refuse. And our friendship was born. Her husband recently past-away. He was a quiet guy, I rarely saw him. But I did see his paintings, the man had talent, very impressive.
Back in November i ran into Tanya at the ReStore and she was saying something about selling her house and moving. So I gave her my phone number and said I would love to help. She called last week. But now I get the feeling she wants me to either buy or sell the house. I thought I could help with this as my landlord is a real estate agent. Wait for it.........I get home from work last night and there are 3 large flourescent signs/stickers affixed to the front doors on my biulding. They read "No occupancy and no tresspassing", the building is in forclosure for back taxes. I also recently found out that my landlord owns 30 rental properties, 2 of which have 20+ tenents, some proffessional. So now i question whether he is the best referal for my old Yugoslavian neighbor. But I will stop by today and see what's cooking.
Be well
Larry
And I must visit Tanya.I am not sure if I have ever mentioned her. It would have been way back in the beginning. Tanya lived next door to me when I lived in the crackhouse. But she really had no idea about such thing. She is easily 80-85 yrs old and originally from Yugoslavia. ( Do you remember Yugoslovia?) So even back then I had an OCD for shovelling snow. Late at night (well, after dark) I would shovel her sidewalk and driveway, that way she could not see who was doing it. Eventually she caught me and tried to pay me. But I refused. Then she offered me food. I did not refuse. And our friendship was born. Her husband recently past-away. He was a quiet guy, I rarely saw him. But I did see his paintings, the man had talent, very impressive.
Back in November i ran into Tanya at the ReStore and she was saying something about selling her house and moving. So I gave her my phone number and said I would love to help. She called last week. But now I get the feeling she wants me to either buy or sell the house. I thought I could help with this as my landlord is a real estate agent. Wait for it.........I get home from work last night and there are 3 large flourescent signs/stickers affixed to the front doors on my biulding. They read "No occupancy and no tresspassing", the building is in forclosure for back taxes. I also recently found out that my landlord owns 30 rental properties, 2 of which have 20+ tenents, some proffessional. So now i question whether he is the best referal for my old Yugoslavian neighbor. But I will stop by today and see what's cooking.
Be well
Larry
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
call me Job
I remember thinking..."what a good example I have become", call me Job.
I have relocated. Apparently there are no apartments, that I can afford, that are big enough for me and my stuff. (God be with the next person that says I am a hoarder
) The apartment is not only small, but due to location and size only one room gets natural light. And I use that room for storage (don't go there).
The other "good" news is I quit my job. Unfortunately Uncle Sam decided I should pay towards my student loans instead of becoming a Recovery Coach. Soooo......wtf....
Of course these events include loss of wifi, I mean the hi-jackable kind. But at least I am in an inconvenient part of town.
(Hmmm, when I am anxious, depressed and confused I get sarcastic. So we all can be confused? Hmmm...)
BTW, I scrolled back and noticed I have only hinted about my pain, the manly kind, I mean middle aged manly, the kind that requires a flashlight to look at. And I have no insurance. Ironic that, I was working in a hospital and could afford to see a doctor, although I certainly got a lot of "less than" attitude from them. (not all, and it was actually more the nurses, seems to be some question as to who cleans what.)
So now that I am out of work, I have applied for assistance, including health care. And with any luck sometime next month I will be anally probed.
I truly never thought I would look forward to such a thing, recovery is weird.
(did you shake our head and say what?)
On the brighter side....I am sitting in the college library, a comfortable, familiar place. Somehow, someway, I will complete this journey. Yesterday I spoke with Fred, and he seems to be wanting to fire up Lifequest (recovery coaching) again. Supposedly Monday we will fix the ceiling where the flood damaged it.
I also sighed up to volunteer at the Vet's center and Johnson Park (MK & I did it 2 yrs ago, lot's of kids).
Well that's my story so far. And like Job, I have faith in God's will for me. fortunately, patience is a virtue.
Be well,
lARRY
I have relocated. Apparently there are no apartments, that I can afford, that are big enough for me and my stuff. (God be with the next person that says I am a hoarder
) The apartment is not only small, but due to location and size only one room gets natural light. And I use that room for storage (don't go there).The other "good" news is I quit my job. Unfortunately Uncle Sam decided I should pay towards my student loans instead of becoming a Recovery Coach. Soooo......wtf....
Of course these events include loss of wifi, I mean the hi-jackable kind. But at least I am in an inconvenient part of town.
(Hmmm, when I am anxious, depressed and confused I get sarcastic. So we all can be confused? Hmmm...)
BTW, I scrolled back and noticed I have only hinted about my pain, the manly kind, I mean middle aged manly, the kind that requires a flashlight to look at. And I have no insurance. Ironic that, I was working in a hospital and could afford to see a doctor, although I certainly got a lot of "less than" attitude from them. (not all, and it was actually more the nurses, seems to be some question as to who cleans what.)
So now that I am out of work, I have applied for assistance, including health care. And with any luck sometime next month I will be anally probed.
I truly never thought I would look forward to such a thing, recovery is weird.
(did you shake our head and say what?)
On the brighter side....I am sitting in the college library, a comfortable, familiar place. Somehow, someway, I will complete this journey. Yesterday I spoke with Fred, and he seems to be wanting to fire up Lifequest (recovery coaching) again. Supposedly Monday we will fix the ceiling where the flood damaged it.
I also sighed up to volunteer at the Vet's center and Johnson Park (MK & I did it 2 yrs ago, lot's of kids).
Well that's my story so far. And like Job, I have faith in God's will for me. fortunately, patience is a virtue.
Be well,
lARRY
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
oh Larry......no matter what life throws at you, you just keep moving forward. and you keeping coming back here to SR and sharing your journey. i'm glad your stuff is getting good natural light! LOL I truly hope the assistance comes thru soon and you can get into the doc - you've given new meaning to the term Finding Bottom! I am truly sorry for any pain you are experiencing and pray you soon find answers and relief.
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
At the library, 1/2 hour to second doctors appointment. The pain has lessened , no idea on the cause.
I have been refused assistance( foodstamps, etc) but did get medicaid. The soup kitchen is like a nightmare recollection from days gone by. I do work for food, mainly friends and family, they don't realize it though. They're just being polite after I mow the law for free. (or some other menial task)
I enjoy volunteering at the veterans outreach center. I drive the truck to pick up and deliver donations. I love being of service to others, especially when they can cook.
No word on school, but God still assures me my journey is not complete. I hope your's is going well.
Regards,
Larry
I have been refused assistance( foodstamps, etc) but did get medicaid. The soup kitchen is like a nightmare recollection from days gone by. I do work for food, mainly friends and family, they don't realize it though. They're just being polite after I mow the law for free. (or some other menial task)
I enjoy volunteering at the veterans outreach center. I drive the truck to pick up and deliver donations. I love being of service to others, especially when they can cook.
No word on school, but God still assures me my journey is not complete. I hope your's is going well.
Regards,
Larry
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Larry, I'm sorry you're struggling but so glad you're persevering. I hope you get some help with food and money soon. Keeping you in my thoughts and adding you to my list for thoughts daily.
Love from Lenina
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
Larry know how you feel - I got falsely accused of sexual harassment once - brutal - I was going out with the girl Ffs - but the knives came out for me at work was so out of order - one of my best mates as well who was leading the accusations - I moved to oz a few months after and me and the lad sorted it out eventually - he crying in apologies for accusing me got manipulated by his boss etc - I got dragged down to our head office in London to explain my version of events. Even though I was totally innocent it was brutal. No smoke without fire etc. Stay strong bro you are on the up mate. Keep the faith.
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Well, well, well.
Only took 10 months to get someone to look up my butte. Not sure if I should be grateful for ObamaCare or curse it.
Since my last post...I did alot of yard work last summer and really loved it. Mainly for the church and my Pastor. Yes this recoveredcrackhead goes to church and the miss me when I don't. Who'da thunk it?
I also did some work for my old boss from the ReStore, I guess helikes my work ethic as I was also just invited by him to interview at his new job. Actually this would make the 4th boss to re-hire me. Funny thing is the first three did it while I was using and they knew it. It's just getting that foot in the door which is the hard part.
Anyway, about the end of the summer I developed some kind of itchy rash all over. Twice I was diagnosed with scabies and applied the med's. Made me very ill feeling. But I suppose spreading insecticide from head to toe will do that. But the itching did not go away. I mean atleast not while I am in my livingroom and I now have a new couch. I have gone to see the Dermatologist. At first my primary got me an appointment in August. No, I mean next August, 2016. I was not happy, as I would probably be skinless or insane by then. So I managed to get seen 2 weeks ago 90 miles from home. Much to far for me to ride my bicycle (in the winter lol) So I scheduled a ride with the Veterans Outreach Center. The driver did a "no show". I don't think I ever mentioned he seemed to know a lot of crackheads about town. So do I, but that's how I knew he did.
Anyway they let me drive myself, cause that's the kinda recoveredcrackhead I am. I go back in 2 weeks for the test results. In the mean time I still scratch while in the living room. Things that make me go hmmmm. Oh and the water pipe broke in the attic. (I don't know why they put them there) I am sorry, the water pipe broke twice in the attic, some where above the bathroom and hallway. No major damage to my stuff, but there is a hole in the ceiling with a rag stuffed in it and the latex paint on the walls looks like saggy, wrinkly, water balloons.
Where was I...pain in the arse (literally), itchy skin rash. Then 2 weeks ago I went ice-skating with my daughter and grand-daughter (yes, that would be the daughter that did not speak to me for 10 years) So after skating I notice my foot is sore, because I have MRSA. And if you don't, I strongly suggest you avoid it. I ended up with four absesses. 3 have gone away, but the one on the foot is really got me disadvantaged. It's painful and very ugly. I am on round two of the anti-biotics.
But I did have that job interview and I didn't let on that it hurt to walk. Fortunately they didn't hire me as I would not have been liking being on my feet all day. Although I did shovel 2 driveways this morning and it was 17 degrees and windy. I also volunteered to help a friend move some furniture, I still have plenty of gauze in case I spring a leak.
It's funny, I always hear those rags-to-riches recovery stories and then I think about mine.
An hour ago, my daughter called just to check up on me. It's weird, kinda makes being sick worth it. I still hold my dreams close, but I seem to be replanning on a daily basis. I spend a good deal of time talking with God (well thinking with God, I'm not nut's you know) I feel reassured that I will accomplish something, even if it's just teaching my grandkids to skate.
I did fail to mention that my youngest had a son, her first, my first grandson. It's not that I am biased, but I will bring that boy home muddy and bloody some day and I know he'll want to do it again.
Be well,
Larry
Only took 10 months to get someone to look up my butte. Not sure if I should be grateful for ObamaCare or curse it.
Since my last post...I did alot of yard work last summer and really loved it. Mainly for the church and my Pastor. Yes this recoveredcrackhead goes to church and the miss me when I don't. Who'da thunk it?
I also did some work for my old boss from the ReStore, I guess helikes my work ethic as I was also just invited by him to interview at his new job. Actually this would make the 4th boss to re-hire me. Funny thing is the first three did it while I was using and they knew it. It's just getting that foot in the door which is the hard part.
Anyway, about the end of the summer I developed some kind of itchy rash all over. Twice I was diagnosed with scabies and applied the med's. Made me very ill feeling. But I suppose spreading insecticide from head to toe will do that. But the itching did not go away. I mean atleast not while I am in my livingroom and I now have a new couch. I have gone to see the Dermatologist. At first my primary got me an appointment in August. No, I mean next August, 2016. I was not happy, as I would probably be skinless or insane by then. So I managed to get seen 2 weeks ago 90 miles from home. Much to far for me to ride my bicycle (in the winter lol) So I scheduled a ride with the Veterans Outreach Center. The driver did a "no show". I don't think I ever mentioned he seemed to know a lot of crackheads about town. So do I, but that's how I knew he did.
Anyway they let me drive myself, cause that's the kinda recoveredcrackhead I am. I go back in 2 weeks for the test results. In the mean time I still scratch while in the living room. Things that make me go hmmmm. Oh and the water pipe broke in the attic. (I don't know why they put them there) I am sorry, the water pipe broke twice in the attic, some where above the bathroom and hallway. No major damage to my stuff, but there is a hole in the ceiling with a rag stuffed in it and the latex paint on the walls looks like saggy, wrinkly, water balloons.
Where was I...pain in the arse (literally), itchy skin rash. Then 2 weeks ago I went ice-skating with my daughter and grand-daughter (yes, that would be the daughter that did not speak to me for 10 years) So after skating I notice my foot is sore, because I have MRSA. And if you don't, I strongly suggest you avoid it. I ended up with four absesses. 3 have gone away, but the one on the foot is really got me disadvantaged. It's painful and very ugly. I am on round two of the anti-biotics.
But I did have that job interview and I didn't let on that it hurt to walk. Fortunately they didn't hire me as I would not have been liking being on my feet all day. Although I did shovel 2 driveways this morning and it was 17 degrees and windy. I also volunteered to help a friend move some furniture, I still have plenty of gauze in case I spring a leak.
It's funny, I always hear those rags-to-riches recovery stories and then I think about mine.
An hour ago, my daughter called just to check up on me. It's weird, kinda makes being sick worth it. I still hold my dreams close, but I seem to be replanning on a daily basis. I spend a good deal of time talking with God (well thinking with God, I'm not nut's you know) I feel reassured that I will accomplish something, even if it's just teaching my grandkids to skate.
I did fail to mention that my youngest had a son, her first, my first grandson. It's not that I am biased, but I will bring that boy home muddy and bloody some day and I know he'll want to do it again.
Be well,
Larry
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
So we have had a break in the weather, heats off, and I think I feel better as in less irratated...And, it wasn't MRSA, some other (less important) strain of staph. Seems to be healing or at least I am treating like it is.
(from some where else....lol, I am sorry this is my e-homegroup, but posted yesterday...)
This recovered crackhead can't wait to go to church tomorrow, then to the new NA meeting run by a nervous chap and we have been the only two people there. He thinks S.M.A.R.T. recovery might be a better (received?) format. Time will tell.
And then the Sunday Night Meditation Meeting, last week I asked if people would share their favorite prayer with me, via written copy. I predicted out of15 people I will get 2. And now I feel guilty for having written that. I am getting that "feeling" that I should have been more optimistic.
wow, what a bi-polar post
Anyway it's time to get back to livin'
Be well,
Larry
(Back to real time....)
I received 1 (one) prayer. It was given to me by a lady I have become friends with over the years. We both attend services at the church that host my home group. The prayer was written by her husband, may he rest in peace. He used to chair the meeting at the county jail, did it for 20 yrs. Usually it was one hour of Jack talking. I think the other "attendees" were just looking for an hour out of the general population. I'm sure it was part of my reason. I like to think he planted a seed in me. I guess I am sharing the fruits of his labor now. I like that.
Be well,
Larry
PS I was reponding to a Step 3 post (yet another somewhere) and wrote the most eloquent description of my experience, then God called, (Thats my cell's alarm reminding me to do what I find helpful) As I clicked "post reply", the cursor flinched and poof...gone. God doesn't want my ego involving him.
(from some where else....lol, I am sorry this is my e-homegroup, but posted yesterday...)
This recovered crackhead can't wait to go to church tomorrow, then to the new NA meeting run by a nervous chap and we have been the only two people there. He thinks S.M.A.R.T. recovery might be a better (received?) format. Time will tell.
And then the Sunday Night Meditation Meeting, last week I asked if people would share their favorite prayer with me, via written copy. I predicted out of15 people I will get 2. And now I feel guilty for having written that. I am getting that "feeling" that I should have been more optimistic.
wow, what a bi-polar post
Anyway it's time to get back to livin'
Be well,
Larry
(Back to real time....)
I received 1 (one) prayer. It was given to me by a lady I have become friends with over the years. We both attend services at the church that host my home group. The prayer was written by her husband, may he rest in peace. He used to chair the meeting at the county jail, did it for 20 yrs. Usually it was one hour of Jack talking. I think the other "attendees" were just looking for an hour out of the general population. I'm sure it was part of my reason. I like to think he planted a seed in me. I guess I am sharing the fruits of his labor now. I like that.
Be well,
Larry
PS I was reponding to a Step 3 post (yet another somewhere) and wrote the most eloquent description of my experience, then God called, (Thats my cell's alarm reminding me to do what I find helpful) As I clicked "post reply", the cursor flinched and poof...gone. God doesn't want my ego involving him.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I just have to say. To anyone who thinks they are too far gone. They are beyond help or think they cant do it. That includes myself.
Read Larrys thread.
I dont even know you in real life and I literally have happy tears right now.
I remember you were a tough nut to crack. So combative all the time. Wouldnt listen to nothing. Now look at you.
You are a true miracle and inspiration Larry.
Read Larrys thread.
I dont even know you in real life and I literally have happy tears right now.
I remember you were a tough nut to crack. So combative all the time. Wouldnt listen to nothing. Now look at you.
You are a true miracle and inspiration Larry.
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Aysha,
Thank you for the kind words and all the patience one could ask for.
I trust things are well in your world. It has been a journey and I pray it continues.
Be Well,
Larry
Thank you for the kind words and all the patience one could ask for.
I trust things are well in your world. It has been a journey and I pray it continues.
Be Well,
Larry
Not again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 1,139
Slowly we roll, trudging up the hill
Liquid incandescence, stagnant we are still....
from a poem I wrote in the military (probable before you were born).
I have finished the Recovery Coach Academy...woot woot. Been involved with a local recovery based agency and hopefully will be starting a sober activities group soon.
Sorry I haven't been updating, volunteering as much as I do makes it hard to pay the bills so I have to work more or something like that.
Be Well,
Larry
PS come visit "Addicts & the Recovered" on google+. Nothing deep, just like minded
Liquid incandescence, stagnant we are still....
from a poem I wrote in the military (probable before you were born).
I have finished the Recovery Coach Academy...woot woot. Been involved with a local recovery based agency and hopefully will be starting a sober activities group soon.
Sorry I haven't been updating, volunteering as much as I do makes it hard to pay the bills so I have to work more or something like that.
Be Well,
Larry
PS come visit "Addicts & the Recovered" on google+. Nothing deep, just like minded
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