Luckyv2

((((((Cheryl))))))

Where are you? Hope that you are ok my friend.

Hope

Thanks for checking in on me. I am sober here but I think I am coming down with something. I haven't been feeling well at all so I have been in the bed almost the whole day. Hopefully, this is just fleeting.

Will be writing more later, just wanted to check in and say that I'm doing okay.

Love,
Cheryl

Luckyv2

I will be sending tons of good thoughts and prayer your way Cheryl and a

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hug))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))

Hope

I'm really sad today.

I just found out that I'm on probation for my financial aid at college. That is due to me not earning enough hours this past year because the whole year I kept falling back into drinking/drugs and you know what, at the time it seemed like nothing *BIG* was happening.... *BUT* the whole time when it seemed like nothing big was happening, the small things were adding up. For example, I just couldn't function as a student. I was hungover a lot and too messed up to study or go to class. All of that finally added up and took its toll on me. I've messed up so much and I can't fix that. It really, really hurts so bad!!

All I have it today though and I can't change the past. I am saying the serenity prayer because I need it now. All I can do is to learn from my mistakes and make better choices in the future.

I am on probation for a year. I can't afford to screw up anymore or this will fall apart on me. I just feel soooo hurt, upset, and very shocked after reading that letter.

Hope

I'm ok. I just had to put everything in perspective. It seems harder now because I just got the letter but I am trying to work out a plan to get my education back on track.

I am just glad that my bottom happened while I am still alive and not 6 feet under. I have been getting a lot of revalations of stuff over the past week. It is all really sinking in exactly what I have been doing to myself. When I was putting poison in my body, that wasn't loving myself. I was destroying myself and my life. I've been sober for a week now and I am finally seeing what I really want in my life...and that certainly does not include drugs and alcohol. They just don't have a place in my life. One day at a time, I can do this!

Glad to be sober and alive today!! It is a truly blessed thing!

Rusty Zipper

Hi-Hope's, the Serenity Prayer has help many, many people over a lot of years..... and it shure saved my (_|_) ......... agw & gol, ...xxoo, pattee

Hope

Luckyv2

Yep Yep YEP that nasty disease want us dead,,,I refuse to let that damn thing have my life again. NOPE it isn't going to get us now is it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope

No, we won't let it get us!!! We REFUSE to give up!!!!!

We are winners!!!

Hope

My heart goes out to everyone who struggles with addiction and also to the families and friends of the alcoholics/addicts.

When those thoughts of using drugs and alcohol start to pop up, we need to really remember the pain of where it took us and think of what we really want in our lives. We need to look beyond those temporary using thoughts and play the tape all the way to the end.

We also need to do an honest evaluation of our motives and to check and make sure that we have no reservations in our recovery. Reservations will cause us to use again so we need to make sure that they are dealt with. Admission of total and complete powerlessness is what we really need to keep in our minds and our hearts. Insanity is making the same mistakes time and time again and expecting different results. That is when it is time to really look deep within and explore what we really want. Then, to make the steps to get in recovery we have to do what we need to do and not what we want to do.

Rusty Zipper

Amen to that..........Hi-Hope's!!!

leviathon

Hope4life, try to see the "letter" as an opportunity to address your past follies or a reminder of why you needed to change. If it is just probation, you just have to be good to get off of it, and if you have to be good, that should help you deal with the temptation. Carry the "letter" with you where you keep your money and if you really feel you are gonna take a drink, read that letter.

Levi.

Hope

I will definitely keep that letter to look at when I am faced with temptation. To me, that symbolizes something very important to me that I stand to lose, if I continue to drink/drug. I have heard that your bottom occurs when the last thing you lost or the next thing you are about to lose is more important to you than the booze/drugs. Then, you realize that you need to throw that shovel down and stop digging. That is where I am at right now. I am at the turning point and this is also when I truly realized that half-measures availed me nothing. That is very true what has been said all along.

I definitely know that I am powerless over drugs and alcohol and that my life is unmanageable. I am unable to manage my own life and no human power can relieve me of my addiction but God can. I have to turn it over to my HP because my strength to win this battle is insufficient so I have to rely on my higher power. It is amazing to know that I am not alone in fighting this battle!

Hope

It feels so good to be alive and sober today. I am really loving this. There are difficult times, but I have the hope that I will make it.

Hope

Rusty Zipper

gts ya do'n ok'y Hi-Hope... you will make it ... reach like you never reaced before................................ agw & tol , pattee

Hope

I'm starting classes this upcoming week. I will be moving tomorrow. I also may start working a part-time job soon so I will be very BUSY. I have to get a job because I need money for the bills. Keep me in your prayers with everything. I feel great because I have new opportunities on the horizon for me. It is good that I have positive things happening in my life.

Hope

I was reading the Big Book tonight and I started wondering why it took me so long to find the courage to do what I needed to do. I always danced around it but it took way too long for me to make the step forward and do what needed to be done. For reasons that I have yet to discover (as I know they will come in time), I guess that it had to take what it took. Sometimes, I get scared when I think of all the consequences that I have to work myself out of and I feel so OVERWHELMED. I got myself into some pretty huge debt while deep in addiction and my credit has already been damaged. Somehow, I do have this feeling and hope that one day in sobriety, I may be able to fix what I messed up. I know that life will not be perfect because we are all in this rollercoaster ride of life, but it will be better without constantly searching for the next drink or drug and being selfish with my using. Using is being selfish because we are shutting ourselves down from using our unique gifts and giving a part of ourselves that we have to offer the world.

No matter how horrible the past may be, one day that experience can be used in a positive way when helping others. We are all where we are supposed to be.

Hope

It was such a blessing to wake up this morning without a hangover. That is a true miracle. I am grateful that I don't have any urges today. Even when the urges do appear, I play the tape all the way to the end. Using is only temporary and continues to disrupt the beauty of life. When I think of my dreams, using does not fit into the picture. To use is to lose, everytime, all the time.

Hope

FLARE UP PERIODS

The term "flare up periods" or "flare ups" refers to definite time
periods during which the recovering or recovered alcoholic experiences an
increased amount of tension, nervousness and anxiety. Should he return to the use of
alcohol, it would most likely be during one of the flare up periods. It is
important, therefore, that the recovering or recovered alcoholic, his
family, his friends, his employer and anyone else who may play an important
role during these periods become aware of how to recognize the onset of a
flare up period and what to do when one occurs.
Flare up periods are difficult to described or to put your finger on.
They are something that the recovered or recovering alcoholic normally does
not have control of. Once a flare up begins there is a tendency for it to
snowball and at the end of the day the affected person feels so terrible
that he or she is more likely to take a drink during these periods of time.
Flare-ups occur at predictable intervals: 5 to 6 days, 5 to 7 weeks, 5
to 7 months, 11 to 13 months, 17 to 24 months, ^h to 5 years, 10-to 12
years. The flare up which occurs in the 17 to 24 month range is, in most cases,
quite severe and intense. However, it is normally the last one that the
person will experience to this degree until the 10 to 12 year range. Most
recovering alcoholics will experience flare ups. This is the reason most
people return to drinking after periods of sobriety. The question is the
intensiveness of these flare ups. For some they are very intense in the
first several months for others they are intense during the middle months
and for others the intenseness occurs in the 17 to 24 month range.
Factors in recognizing the onset of a flare up include feelings of
irritability, moodiness, boredom, restlessness, difficulty in eating and
sleeping. These emotional states grow in intensity and come to a peak
normally lasting about three days. There are rare occasions when they last
longer. During the three day or more period the recovering or recovered
alcoholic may be extremely depressed and irritable, he may feel that all is
hopeless, that things are not what he thought, and he may display outbursts
of anger for almost no obvious reason because of something which would
ordinarily be considered insignificant. There may also be physical signs
indicating the approach of a danger period. He may develop aches and pains,
he may perspire more than ordinary, or he may have headaches.
There also may be other behavioral changes. Many people talk about "dry
drunk." Many times an affected individual will display symptoms very
closely related to those of an intoxicated person even though the individual
has not had an alcoholic beverage. These changes are sometimes so slight
that they would be passed off without undue attention unless one is watching
for them. Uncharacteristically juvenile behavior, unreasonable giggling and
joy, expression of weirdness, restlessness, boredom, and a sudden concern
about his health, job, family, loneliness, etc., are just a few of such
behavioral changes.
WHAT TO DO
1. The first step in dealing with a flare up is to expect them and watch for
the afore-mentioned signs.
2. When you suspect that you are entering a flare up period, seek help from
someone who will understand what you are going through, your counselor or
therapist, your spouse, a fellow group member, Alcoholics Anonymous, a
Priest or religious figure of a good friend (who won't offer you a drink!)
are all possible sources help. Sometimes just phoning someone to talk to,
going for a drive or working on a hobby will help reduce the tension of a
flare up. Exercise is very important. Proper diet and getting the correct
amount of sleep or just as important. In other words, putting the body back
on a routine. In any case, get involved. Keep busy. Do some Volunteer
work; re-evaluate education goals. There are a number of organizations,
social and fraternal clubs, churches, that can help.
3. Realize that the storm will pass. Flare ups usually last about three to
four days, or more (rarely more). After it passes, things will return to
normal again.
4. Do not take a drink. One drink will set off a chain reaction and you
will find yourself completely soused and right back where you started.
5. Learn to enjoy the rewards of your sobriety and the good feeling of being
sober and giving and doing for others - learn to enjoy this. Take pride in
your good points and appreciate what you have going for you.
6. Realize there is no cure -- only complete abstinence. The first drink is
a psychological trickster.
7. Read page 15, paragraph, 1, lines 6-10, Alcoholics Anonymous.

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