Have I got a problem? or just a coping mechanism, drinking after trauma
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Hi Wheeling dizzy! I have followed your posts as well and have admired you as far as dealing with the hand you were given. I don't have any idea of how that would be as I have no experience of it. You have impressed me by keeping your self care together by your appearance, attending uni, socializing. (more on that later) You are a strong young woman, that is apparent. Wish I could give you a hug when I read about crawling the steps and the comments you received. Some people are just idiots.
I do sense from your posts that you are trying to label or differentiate alcoholics from binge drinkers. Also stating that it's normal for 24 year olds to be drunk often by binging. There are a LOT of posters on this site that started by binging (most, actually,) and many by a young age
who kept needing more and more, who suffered great consequences. All of us struggling at an older age wish we had quit years before. I really can't think of one person here who would say, boy I am glad I drank too much in my 20's, what good times those binges were.
It doesn't really matter if you think you are a binge drinker, not an alcoholic. All that matters is if it's a problem in your life, if it starts to be an obsession, if you have health or personal consequences, then whatever you label it, you are not a normal drinker. Normal drinkers do not put much time into thinking about alcohol, and would not be seeking out this site.
Socializing at a club when you are trying to cut down or stop not a good idea and you are a smart cookie so I'm probably stating the obvious. Sometimes it takes finding other ways of socializing to break the cycle . When I started to work on my sobriety, I really started to notice how little nonproblem "normal" drinkers consume and how little they think of alcohol. I was a secret at home drinker that could manage a moderate amount in public and came here first hoping I could still drink socially and cut out the at home drinking. Well, that didn't work , surprise, hah! and engaging here I see it just won't work for a problem drinker, no matter what you label yourself.
You might be surrounded by heavy binge drinkers now, but your real friends will stick by you and understand if you say drinking is not for you. And I am one that am sure it's not for you. There are lots of articles about showing how dangerous the effects of binge drinking are, please do not separate that from what you see as an alcoholic, and that's it's much different or somehow less harmful, it's not.
The longer you drink, each day it becomes harder to stop. I can't imagine drinking will add anything positive to your continued adjustment and healing.
Wishing you only the very best.
I do sense from your posts that you are trying to label or differentiate alcoholics from binge drinkers. Also stating that it's normal for 24 year olds to be drunk often by binging. There are a LOT of posters on this site that started by binging (most, actually,) and many by a young age
who kept needing more and more, who suffered great consequences. All of us struggling at an older age wish we had quit years before. I really can't think of one person here who would say, boy I am glad I drank too much in my 20's, what good times those binges were.
It doesn't really matter if you think you are a binge drinker, not an alcoholic. All that matters is if it's a problem in your life, if it starts to be an obsession, if you have health or personal consequences, then whatever you label it, you are not a normal drinker. Normal drinkers do not put much time into thinking about alcohol, and would not be seeking out this site.
Socializing at a club when you are trying to cut down or stop not a good idea and you are a smart cookie so I'm probably stating the obvious. Sometimes it takes finding other ways of socializing to break the cycle . When I started to work on my sobriety, I really started to notice how little nonproblem "normal" drinkers consume and how little they think of alcohol. I was a secret at home drinker that could manage a moderate amount in public and came here first hoping I could still drink socially and cut out the at home drinking. Well, that didn't work , surprise, hah! and engaging here I see it just won't work for a problem drinker, no matter what you label yourself.
You might be surrounded by heavy binge drinkers now, but your real friends will stick by you and understand if you say drinking is not for you. And I am one that am sure it's not for you. There are lots of articles about showing how dangerous the effects of binge drinking are, please do not separate that from what you see as an alcoholic, and that's it's much different or somehow less harmful, it's not.
The longer you drink, each day it becomes harder to stop. I can't imagine drinking will add anything positive to your continued adjustment and healing.
Wishing you only the very best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by wheelingdizzy 
YOU CAME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you
I am comparing both, PERHAPS I SHOULDNT :p
What I want to know is this bit " I have often wondered how i would cope if i loss the use of my legs"
What would make you think about that? Its not something people usually thinks of? Unless you have a fear of being trapped ?
And wow you get it thank you!! you really do get it, im not coming across very well here. but thank you for seeing what is really going on, i could cry, i really could, i almost am, gosh. you 100percent get it, and i gues ive seen alot of people here dont as much as you do, i wonder why or how you became so empathetic because its not something someone would usually get?
And hun , for real i see no judgment in your post
I like you alot
You have made my night, honestly
ask me anything and il be honest and tell you anything.
i was ready to leave here tonight and go back to my closed of life but i really apreiciate your understanding.
it means so much
and your really right. i need to accept some help i probably would drink less if i was not so fustrated with myself
Your amazing you truely are, and I am wondering how you are doing?
x
Thank you
I am comparing both, PERHAPS I SHOULDNT :p
What I want to know is this bit " I have often wondered how i would cope if i loss the use of my legs"
What would make you think about that? Its not something people usually thinks of? Unless you have a fear of being trapped ?
And wow you get it thank you!! you really do get it, im not coming across very well here. but thank you for seeing what is really going on, i could cry, i really could, i almost am, gosh. you 100percent get it, and i gues ive seen alot of people here dont as much as you do, i wonder why or how you became so empathetic because its not something someone would usually get?
And hun , for real i see no judgment in your post
I like you alot
You have made my night, honestly
ask me anything and il be honest and tell you anything.
i was ready to leave here tonight and go back to my closed of life but i really apreiciate your understanding.
it means so much
and your really right. i need to accept some help i probably would drink less if i was not so fustrated with myself
Your amazing you truely are, and I am wondering how you are doing?
x
To answer your question, I've been obsessed about playing football (soccer to some) since I was a kid. And had a few scares with knee injuries
over the years which would force me to stop for a while thinking it might be permanent. Which tended to send my mind into a dark place where I'd begin imagining what it would be like if things were even worse than that. All the things I loved that I wouldn't be able to do any more. I'm 50 now, grateful to still be playing every Sunday, but I'd probably cope a bit better now than if it happened in my 20s. I really can't imagine how I would have coped then.
I'm so pleased to hear you might consider taking up some of those offers of help you've had. Even if it's just for a while as you continue to adjust. I sincerely hope things will get better for you.
By the way, I try and check in here once or twice a day, but can be long gaps so don't take a slow reply as lack of caring. Will be thinking of you in between.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 236
Il come back to reply and please do not worry about long gaps in replying
Self care is important ! thank you! im not happy i ended up finnishing the bottlewhen my goal was half.. so maybe il comeback tommorow and try again.
Self care is important !
thank you! im not happy i ended up finnishing the bottlewhen my goal was half.. so maybe il comeback tommorow and try again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 236
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Why did you buy alcohol when your goal is abstinence ?
My goal is to do what i can do on that day. i cant put preasure on myself to say i will abstain all together, because i know i wont.
but im taking little steps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 236
Originally Posted by jd1639
Why? Is drinking going to make your life better?
but it does make my life better in the momment yes but i have established its not good for me etc etc. but it does yes in the momment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 236
Sorry must be how i typed it the as planned was, i had planned to drink. the not drinking it wasnt planned, it just didnt feel right, and my craving for it doesnt start till a day and ahalf, so i said why drink it today then? Out of habit i realised
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 236
Originally Posted by Sadie1
Hi Wheeling dizzy! I have followed your posts as well and have admired you as far as dealing with the hand you were given. I don't have any idea of how that would be as I have no experience of it. You have impressed me by keeping your self care together by your appearance, attending uni, socializing. (more on that later) You are a strong young woman, that is apparent. Wish I could give you a hug when I read about crawling the steps and the comments you received. Some people are just idiots.
I do sense from your posts that you are trying to label or differentiate alcoholics from binge drinkers. Also stating that it's normal for 24 year olds to be drunk often by binging. There are a LOT of posters on this site that started by binging (most, actually,) and many by a young age
who kept needing more and more, who suffered great consequences. All of us struggling at an older age wish we had quit years before. I really can't think of one person here who would say, boy I am glad I drank too much in my 20's, what good times those binges were.
It doesn't really matter if you think you are a binge drinker, not an alcoholic. All that matters is if it's a problem in your life, if it starts to be an obsession, if you have health or personal consequences, then whatever you label it, you are not a normal drinker. Normal drinkers do not put much time into thinking about alcohol, and would not be seeking out this site.
Socializing at a club when you are trying to cut down or stop not a good idea and you are a smart cookie so I'm probably stating the obvious. Sometimes it takes finding other ways of socializing to break the cycle . When I started to work on my sobriety, I really started to notice how little nonproblem "normal" drinkers consume and how little they think of alcohol. I was a secret at home drinker that could manage a moderate amount in public and came here first hoping I could still drink socially and cut out the at home drinking. Well, that didn't work , surprise, hah! and engaging here I see it just won't work for a problem drinker, no matter what you label yourself.
You might be surrounded by heavy binge drinkers now, but your real friends will stick by you and understand if you say drinking is not for you. And I am one that am sure it's not for you. There are lots of articles about showing how dangerous the effects of binge drinking are, please do not separate that from what you see as an alcoholic, and that's it's much different or somehow less harmful, it's not.
The longer you drink, each day it becomes harder to stop. I can't imagine drinking will add anything positive to your continued adjustment and healing.
Wishing you only the very best.
I do sense from your posts that you are trying to label or differentiate alcoholics from binge drinkers. Also stating that it's normal for 24 year olds to be drunk often by binging. There are a LOT of posters on this site that started by binging (most, actually,) and many by a young age
who kept needing more and more, who suffered great consequences. All of us struggling at an older age wish we had quit years before. I really can't think of one person here who would say, boy I am glad I drank too much in my 20's, what good times those binges were.
It doesn't really matter if you think you are a binge drinker, not an alcoholic. All that matters is if it's a problem in your life, if it starts to be an obsession, if you have health or personal consequences, then whatever you label it, you are not a normal drinker. Normal drinkers do not put much time into thinking about alcohol, and would not be seeking out this site.
Socializing at a club when you are trying to cut down or stop not a good idea and you are a smart cookie so I'm probably stating the obvious. Sometimes it takes finding other ways of socializing to break the cycle . When I started to work on my sobriety, I really started to notice how little nonproblem "normal" drinkers consume and how little they think of alcohol. I was a secret at home drinker that could manage a moderate amount in public and came here first hoping I could still drink socially and cut out the at home drinking. Well, that didn't work , surprise, hah! and engaging here I see it just won't work for a problem drinker, no matter what you label yourself.
You might be surrounded by heavy binge drinkers now, but your real friends will stick by you and understand if you say drinking is not for you. And I am one that am sure it's not for you. There are lots of articles about showing how dangerous the effects of binge drinking are, please do not separate that from what you see as an alcoholic, and that's it's much different or somehow less harmful, it's not.
The longer you drink, each day it becomes harder to stop. I can't imagine drinking will add anything positive to your continued adjustment and healing.
Wishing you only the very best.
your so nice thank you so much,
what you say makes sence
lots to think about!
I just feel some things i dont achieve good results going cold turkey as i end up letting myself down then doing more because i feel bad about myself for quiting lol but i know what you mean going clubbing is silly really, but right now thats all that i enjoy haha apart from some other obvious things. but i look forward to it on a wednesday night
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Can you get rid of the alcohol today as your blatently planning to drink on another day why can't you give yourself the same deal with sobriety
At least make it fair by not buying alcohol when your trying, you recognise a problem & its early days I get that but it makes no sense buying alcohol & if your goal isn't abstinence why are you sober today
Your sober today as deep down deep deep down you know your 'insert label here'
I know I'm alcoholic I can't drink safely nor responsibly (believe me I tried) your no exception no one is alcohol has no bias or discrimination
Crush your AV with gratitude
At least make it fair by not buying alcohol when your trying, you recognise a problem & its early days I get that but it makes no sense buying alcohol & if your goal isn't abstinence why are you sober today
Your sober today as deep down deep deep down you know your 'insert label here'
I know I'm alcoholic I can't drink safely nor responsibly (believe me I tried) your no exception no one is alcohol has no bias or discrimination
Crush your AV with gratitude
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome Wheelingdizzy. I've just caught up with the posts here.
I want to say one thing first, which is that a lot of the people you lashed out at throughout this thread are some of the most caring and generous contributors to the site. Although I don't know them outside of the forum, having been a member here for a bit longer than you I have gotten to know them on the forum and have a good feel for their style and temperament. I can really assure you that no one was trying to hurt you, run you off, make you feel bad or otherwise waste your time.
You've gone through some major life changes very recently. It also sounds like you have issues from the past that are not resolved either. That is a sucky combination and I am so sorry for you and admire how well you are carrying on. You do sound very, very angry. Rightfully so! To be dealing with old emotional issues is already difficult and then to have such a major change happen and still be freshly dealing with that is a large combination of very major things.
The alcohol will eventually need to be addressed by quitting. Forever. Never another drink. It sucks, everyone here thought it sucked when we realized it, but that is the only solution. The good news is that in time most people who have quit come to love sobriety and find that instead of it sucking it is actually pretty amazing. It doesn't sound like you are ready to quit yet. That's ok, you can still stick around. You just need to be prepared for the fact that as this is a sobriety website and not a moderation management website the overwhelming majority of feedback you will get is that you need to stop. No one is going to cheer you along or pat you on the back for just drinking 1 bottle instead of 2 or buying a bottle for a later time and no drinking it right away. Again, that doesn't mean you can't come on here and post about that. You are absolutely right that posting on here and starting this journey is a good start. No one expects perfection from you right away. But in return you can't expect us not to point out the flaws we see in your system and you can't expect us not to tell you our own experiences and how moderation never worked for any of us. Posting, generally, is done with the expectation of a response from others. You can't get angry when the responses are not what you want to hear.
I sincerely hope that you will be able to get in with a therapist soon. You indicated that there is a wait. You have also indicated that money is not an issue for you, could you search out a private alternative instead of waiting for something to become available publicly? There is anger and rage seething out of so many of your posts (again, rightfully so considering you are just a few months into a major, debilitating, life change) that will eat you up inside and is really no way to live. I hope you can get help for that and the other emotional issues you have touched on.
Best of luck to you.
I want to say one thing first, which is that a lot of the people you lashed out at throughout this thread are some of the most caring and generous contributors to the site. Although I don't know them outside of the forum, having been a member here for a bit longer than you I have gotten to know them on the forum and have a good feel for their style and temperament. I can really assure you that no one was trying to hurt you, run you off, make you feel bad or otherwise waste your time.
You've gone through some major life changes very recently. It also sounds like you have issues from the past that are not resolved either. That is a sucky combination and I am so sorry for you and admire how well you are carrying on. You do sound very, very angry. Rightfully so! To be dealing with old emotional issues is already difficult and then to have such a major change happen and still be freshly dealing with that is a large combination of very major things.
The alcohol will eventually need to be addressed by quitting. Forever. Never another drink. It sucks, everyone here thought it sucked when we realized it, but that is the only solution. The good news is that in time most people who have quit come to love sobriety and find that instead of it sucking it is actually pretty amazing. It doesn't sound like you are ready to quit yet. That's ok, you can still stick around. You just need to be prepared for the fact that as this is a sobriety website and not a moderation management website the overwhelming majority of feedback you will get is that you need to stop. No one is going to cheer you along or pat you on the back for just drinking 1 bottle instead of 2 or buying a bottle for a later time and no drinking it right away. Again, that doesn't mean you can't come on here and post about that. You are absolutely right that posting on here and starting this journey is a good start. No one expects perfection from you right away. But in return you can't expect us not to point out the flaws we see in your system and you can't expect us not to tell you our own experiences and how moderation never worked for any of us. Posting, generally, is done with the expectation of a response from others. You can't get angry when the responses are not what you want to hear.
I sincerely hope that you will be able to get in with a therapist soon. You indicated that there is a wait. You have also indicated that money is not an issue for you, could you search out a private alternative instead of waiting for something to become available publicly? There is anger and rage seething out of so many of your posts (again, rightfully so considering you are just a few months into a major, debilitating, life change) that will eat you up inside and is really no way to live. I hope you can get help for that and the other emotional issues you have touched on.
Best of luck to you.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Can you get rid of the alcohol today as your blatently planning to drink on another day why can't you give yourself the same deal with sobriety
At least make it fair by not buying alcohol when your trying, you recognise a problem & its early days I get that but it makes no sense buying alcohol & if your goal isn't abstinence why are you sober today
Your sober today as deep down deep deep down you know your 'insert label here'
I know I'm alcoholic I can't drink safely nor responsibly (believe me I tried) your no exception no one is alcohol has no bias or discrimination
Crush your AV with gratitude
At least make it fair by not buying alcohol when your trying, you recognise a problem & its early days I get that but it makes no sense buying alcohol & if your goal isn't abstinence why are you sober today
Your sober today as deep down deep deep down you know your 'insert label here'
I know I'm alcoholic I can't drink safely nor responsibly (believe me I tried) your no exception no one is alcohol has no bias or discrimination
Crush your AV with gratitude
this position makes a certain amount of sense to me. There was a time when I was not reconciled to being alcoholic, when I hoped my problem would be of some other cause, where I had not yet fully understood the seriousness of my situation and how limited my options really were.
In that space I did what came naturally. I might have been thinking about the possibility of remaining abstinent, but I wanted to keep my options open. My alcoholic life was the only normal one, and I reserved the right to have a drink at some future time if I wanted one.
In that position, I was still able to hear the message about sobriety, and work through the options. Later I reached a point where I was convinced abstinence was the only option.
That's is how it was for me. Not saying it is the same for you, wheeling dizzy.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Wheelingdizzy,
Hope you're doing well. Great to see you didn't drink the other day, though not surprisingly, given this is a sobriety forum, it'd be great if you hadn't bought that bottle for later
Maybe an idea, at this early stage while you're figuring out what you want to do, is to consider taking a fixed break. Long enough to really try out sober life. Say 30 days. Easier than thinking about "forever". And if you find you simply can't make it that long without a drink, that should at least help clarify to you what your relationship to alcohol really is.
I took a fixed 6 week break leading up to my 50th birthday. I'd been ill a couple of times after heavy drinking (a virus twice took advantage of my self-inflicted weakened immune system), and I really didn't want to be ill in the buildup to the party. My plan was to drink after my band had finished playing that night.
And it was actually when I drank again, that it first really hit me that I actually had been happier while sober. That first pint just didn't do what I thought it did for me. Basically, I broke the habit which gave me a chance to really think again about what I was doing. 3 weeks later I made the decision to quit for good, which was over 6 months ago now. Everything is so much better now (read the It Gets Better thread to get a sense of how people's lives have improved).
Hope you're doing well. Great to see you didn't drink the other day, though not surprisingly, given this is a sobriety forum, it'd be great if you hadn't bought that bottle for later
Maybe an idea, at this early stage while you're figuring out what you want to do, is to consider taking a fixed break. Long enough to really try out sober life. Say 30 days. Easier than thinking about "forever". And if you find you simply can't make it that long without a drink, that should at least help clarify to you what your relationship to alcohol really is.
I took a fixed 6 week break leading up to my 50th birthday. I'd been ill a couple of times after heavy drinking (a virus twice took advantage of my self-inflicted weakened immune system), and I really didn't want to be ill in the buildup to the party. My plan was to drink after my band had finished playing that night.
And it was actually when I drank again, that it first really hit me that I actually had been happier while sober. That first pint just didn't do what I thought it did for me. Basically, I broke the habit which gave me a chance to really think again about what I was doing. 3 weeks later I made the decision to quit for good, which was over 6 months ago now. Everything is so much better now (read the It Gets Better thread to get a sense of how people's lives have improved).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 236
Hi all.
This completly makes sence now..
I will explain the mis understanding.
To join and find this group I googled " possible alchahol problem forum" or something along those lines, I was drunk.
This came up. I didnt actually realise this is for complete cold turkey
so nnow peoples responces make sence.
thanks for the explanation.
Related to money not being an issue, what i ment is ,, i am not buyig booze instead of paying my bills lol but i would nt have extra to pay for private counselling.
but thanks all it will figure itself out.
things have got worse with my situation.
But I will figure it out .
Thanks all . sorry agian for the mis understanding . and stuff
This completly makes sence now..
I will explain the mis understanding.
To join and find this group I googled " possible alchahol problem forum" or something along those lines, I was drunk.
This came up. I didnt actually realise this is for complete cold turkey
so nnow peoples responces make sence.
thanks for the explanation.
Related to money not being an issue, what i ment is ,, i am not buyig booze instead of paying my bills lol but i would nt have extra to pay for private counselling.
but thanks all it will figure itself out.
things have got worse with my situation.
But I will figure it out .
Thanks all . sorry agian for the mis understanding . and stuff
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi WD, no need to apologize, you are still welcome here. There are many people who come here who are still figuring things out, still trying to decide if they will quit or not. It is a good source of information regardless.
You could take it as a sign that this was the site that came up when you googled….
You have some major stuff to deal with right now. I know I drank to overcome problems that pale in comparison to what you are going through. But alcoholism is not a competition and if it is causing problems in your life, it is causing problems. It sure was in mine (and still is if I'm honest, I suffered a relapse this past week).
I am sorry to hear that things have worsened for you. I am not sure if you are referencing your physical wellbeing due to your accident or your drinking situation, but regardless I wish you luck as you address it.
I don't know if you celebrate Christmas or not, but if you do I wish you a happy and peaceful one.
You could take it as a sign that this was the site that came up when you googled….
You have some major stuff to deal with right now. I know I drank to overcome problems that pale in comparison to what you are going through. But alcoholism is not a competition and if it is causing problems in your life, it is causing problems. It sure was in mine (and still is if I'm honest, I suffered a relapse this past week).
I am sorry to hear that things have worsened for you. I am not sure if you are referencing your physical wellbeing due to your accident or your drinking situation, but regardless I wish you luck as you address it.
I don't know if you celebrate Christmas or not, but if you do I wish you a happy and peaceful one.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Wheelingdizzy,
I'm so sorry to hear things have gotten worse for you. I really hope they'll start to turn around for you soon.
Don't worry at all about any misunderstandings about where people are coming from with their advice. People are at all different stages of dealing with their concerns about alcohol on here, and everyone is welcome. But yes, most of us have reached the conclusion, from personal experience, that sobriety is the best approach to deal with our problem drinking.
I did try the moderation route for several years. Which was really successful for me. Except when it wasn't. And when it wasn't, it really, really wasn't. Since I could never predict when it would go wrong, when I'd have that one too many and tip over the edge, I eventually decided to stop completely.
Because I wish I'd stopped sooner, saved myself all the heartache, humiliations, lost job opportunities, damaged relationships etc, etc, I always hope that other people, at earlier stages in their drinking, can make the choice to stop before they do similar damage to themselves.
But the decision to quit is a very personal one. I think everyone on here knows that telling someone to quit who isn't ready to is pointless. I used to get very angry at anyone who questioned my drinking. Even when they were right to. Maybe even because I knew they were right to.
So yes, please do stick around, ask questions, read about other people's experiences, share your own, see what support is available here for whatever you decide to do. If you decide to aim for moderation, you won't be the first one here who has tried that. But at least you'll know that if that doesn't work out the way you hoped, these forums will still be here to welcome you and help you figure out another plan.
I'm so sorry to hear things have gotten worse for you. I really hope they'll start to turn around for you soon.
Don't worry at all about any misunderstandings about where people are coming from with their advice. People are at all different stages of dealing with their concerns about alcohol on here, and everyone is welcome. But yes, most of us have reached the conclusion, from personal experience, that sobriety is the best approach to deal with our problem drinking.
I did try the moderation route for several years. Which was really successful for me. Except when it wasn't. And when it wasn't, it really, really wasn't. Since I could never predict when it would go wrong, when I'd have that one too many and tip over the edge, I eventually decided to stop completely.
Because I wish I'd stopped sooner, saved myself all the heartache, humiliations, lost job opportunities, damaged relationships etc, etc, I always hope that other people, at earlier stages in their drinking, can make the choice to stop before they do similar damage to themselves.
But the decision to quit is a very personal one. I think everyone on here knows that telling someone to quit who isn't ready to is pointless. I used to get very angry at anyone who questioned my drinking. Even when they were right to. Maybe even because I knew they were right to.
So yes, please do stick around, ask questions, read about other people's experiences, share your own, see what support is available here for whatever you decide to do. If you decide to aim for moderation, you won't be the first one here who has tried that. But at least you'll know that if that doesn't work out the way you hoped, these forums will still be here to welcome you and help you figure out another plan.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
There's no need to apologise at all, WD,
Sure, this is a group that, by and large, promotes abstinence - mainly because that's been the solution for us and our alcohol problems.
It doesn't mean that people who are still drinking cannot post here though - I was drinking myself when I found SR.
I came here not really knowing what I wanted, but I was convinced by the posts here that abstinence was the solution.
That was my lucky day
Hope to hear from you again
D
Sure, this is a group that, by and large, promotes abstinence - mainly because that's been the solution for us and our alcohol problems.
It doesn't mean that people who are still drinking cannot post here though - I was drinking myself when I found SR.
I came here not really knowing what I wanted, but I was convinced by the posts here that abstinence was the solution.
That was my lucky day
Hope to hear from you again
D
Originally Posted by wheelingdizzy
Hi all.
This completly makes sence now..
I will explain the mis understanding.
To join and find this group I googled " possible alchahol problem forum" or something along those lines, I was drunk.
This came up. I didnt actually realise this is for complete cold turkey
so nnow peoples responces make sence.
thanks for the explanation.
Related to money not being an issue, what i ment is ,, i am not buyig booze instead of paying my bills lol but i would nt have extra to pay for private counselling.
but thanks all it will figure itself out.
things have got worse with my situation.
But I will figure it out .
Thanks all . sorry agian for the mis understanding . and stuff
This completly makes sence now..
I will explain the mis understanding.
To join and find this group I googled " possible alchahol problem forum" or something along those lines, I was drunk.
This came up. I didnt actually realise this is for complete cold turkey
so nnow peoples responces make sence.
thanks for the explanation.
Related to money not being an issue, what i ment is ,, i am not buyig booze instead of paying my bills lol but i would nt have extra to pay for private counselling.
but thanks all it will figure itself out.
things have got worse with my situation.
But I will figure it out .
Thanks all . sorry agian for the mis understanding . and stuff
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