First AA Meeting, nervous, what to expect?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 55
First AA Meeting, nervous, what to expect?
So, I'm 99% sure I'm going to go to am AA meeting tonight. I don't like not knowing what the norms are there for me to follow.
What if I know someone? I'll feel embarrassed.
If I start to have a panic attack, can I just quirky walk out?
Do I have to talk or can I just listen.
I haven't finished the big book. It's on my kindle. Should I bring it?
Thanks for any advice.
What if I know someone? I'll feel embarrassed.
If I start to have a panic attack, can I just quirky walk out?
Do I have to talk or can I just listen.
I haven't finished the big book. It's on my kindle. Should I bring it?
Thanks for any advice.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Hi There, do you know what kind of a meeting it is? Is it open or closed?
There usually are greeters at the door. No one is going to say a word if you just sit and observe. Or, you can let someone know that this is your first meeting and they'll be happy to help.
There usually are greeters at the door. No one is going to say a word if you just sit and observe. Or, you can let someone know that this is your first meeting and they'll be happy to help.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
If you know someone there they are there for the same reason as you.
If you get a panic attacks and might need to leave early, I would sit near the back at the end of a row. If you have to leave just try not disturbing the meeting.
You don't have to talk if you don't want to.
I have no advice about the big book.
Good luck
If you get a panic attacks and might need to leave early, I would sit near the back at the end of a row. If you have to leave just try not disturbing the meeting.
You don't have to talk if you don't want to.
I have no advice about the big book.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey there
It's normal to be a bit nervous. But remember, everyone there is there for the same reason you are. If you know someone, well, you know another addict. Anonymity is the rule. So hopefully people respect that.
The only requirement is the desire to stay sober. You don't have to share if you don't want to. Usually they ask for newcomers or people under 30 days to introduce themselves. All you say, if you want, is "I'm so and so and I'm an alcoholic" done. Yes, you can walk out. Try not to. Just sit there and listen. No one is as concerned about you as you are
. I tell that to new hot yoga students who feel self conscious wearing the clothes (or lack of ) that really are comfortable. They think, my gut, my thighs. I'm like, no one cares, no one is looking at you. Learn to accept yourself as you are.
If it's a big book study, bring your kindle. It'll say in the meeting schedule. I recommend just a regular meeting for your first time. Keep an open mind. Hear the message, not the messenger. Don't judge....yourself or others.
Good luck. Don't over think it.
It's normal to be a bit nervous. But remember, everyone there is there for the same reason you are. If you know someone, well, you know another addict. Anonymity is the rule. So hopefully people respect that.
The only requirement is the desire to stay sober. You don't have to share if you don't want to. Usually they ask for newcomers or people under 30 days to introduce themselves. All you say, if you want, is "I'm so and so and I'm an alcoholic" done. Yes, you can walk out. Try not to. Just sit there and listen. No one is as concerned about you as you are
. I tell that to new hot yoga students who feel self conscious wearing the clothes (or lack of ) that really are comfortable. They think, my gut, my thighs. I'm like, no one cares, no one is looking at you. Learn to accept yourself as you are.If it's a big book study, bring your kindle. It'll say in the meeting schedule. I recommend just a regular meeting for your first time. Keep an open mind. Hear the message, not the messenger. Don't judge....yourself or others.
Good luck. Don't over think it.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Congrats on mustering the courage to go. Not an easy thing to do. The first meeting is the most difficult because of all the unknowns. Everyone in AA has had a first meeting so we all know what it was like. There will be lots of empathy for you if you say something like "My name is xyz and it's my first meeting. I think I'd just like to just listen". You'll have an awful lot of people pulling for you right from the start.
Yes you can walk out anytime.
IF you know someone I would not worry too much about it, that means they are an alcoholic . They probably wish to remain as anonymous about their recovery as you do.
Don't worry about the book, they'll have plenty there.
Let us know how it goes.
Yes you can walk out anytime.
IF you know someone I would not worry too much about it, that means they are an alcoholic
. They probably wish to remain as anonymous about their recovery as you do. Don't worry about the book, they'll have plenty there.
Let us know how it goes.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
An open meeting is open to anyone, a closed meeting is just for alcoholics. It's normal to be a little nervous, but remember, everyone is there for the same reason. I'm sure they'll be very welcoming.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I think these are common concerns everyone has before thier first recovery meeting I know I felt like that but it turned out to be so good I was taken heavily by surprise I expected people as rough as I felt but was warmly welcomed by 2/3 people and I actually thought I'm in the wrong place you all look so good your alcoholics ?? yep they were but also they were alcoholics in recovery & from there I listened intently
There is nothing expected at all aside from a desire to stop drinking maybe pick up a 'where to find' so you can find more meetings times numbers etc
& yes you can leave at any time
There is nothing expected at all aside from a desire to stop drinking maybe pick up a 'where to find' so you can find more meetings times numbers etc
& yes you can leave at any time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527 
Hi There, do you know what kind of a meeting it is? Is it open or closed?
There usually are greeters at the door. No one is going to say a word if you just sit and observe. Or, you can let someone know that this is your first meeting and they'll be happy to help.
There usually are greeters at the door. No one is going to say a word if you just sit and observe. Or, you can let someone know that this is your first meeting and they'll be happy to help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
Here's a link that helped me. It took me several times of just driving to the place and sitting outside before I walked in the door.
Your First AA Meeting<
Ha! Just noticed that Dee posted this link too.
Your First AA Meeting<
Ha! Just noticed that Dee posted this link too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by blueberry2015
Do let us know how you get on x good luck!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Just take it as it comes and remember no one expects anything from you. You need not say a word if you wish not to.
Most all that attend for the first time come away feeling and thinking positive.
Mountainman
Most all that attend for the first time come away feeling and thinking positive.
Mountainman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 55
Blueberry, your blog entry was awesome and a big help!
I still need to read the link. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words, I wouldn't have gone without you.
I'm SO glad I did. We read Step 4 (I even read a paragraph, someone lent me a book!) And I did introduce myself, but passed on sharing.
After, one guy made sure I had the other girls number and knew where the meetings were and told me what they covered.
I used to know the one guy fairly well and he assured me it's anon and I wasn't there ☺but that he was fine with me telling my husband he was.
It was great. I then went back to the BBQ instead of coming home to drink alone, which is what I would have done in the past. Looking forward to the next one and feeling encouraged to read more big book and get the 12 steps book#
I still need to read the link. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words, I wouldn't have gone without you.
I'm SO glad I did. We read Step 4 (I even read a paragraph, someone lent me a book!) And I did introduce myself, but passed on sharing.
After, one guy made sure I had the other girls number and knew where the meetings were and told me what they covered.
I used to know the one guy fairly well and he assured me it's anon and I wasn't there ☺but that he was fine with me telling my husband he was.
It was great. I then went back to the BBQ instead of coming home to drink alone, which is what I would have done in the past. Looking forward to the next one and feeling encouraged to read more big book and get the 12 steps book#
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