Have I got a problem? or just a coping mechanism, drinking after trauma
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Originally Posted by ubntubnt 
Yes I was. Until 11 days ago.
One way of looking at it is to ask yourself: "if I can do xy and z how can I be an alcoholic?"
Another way is "am I losing control when I drink?".
From the outside I looked like I had a textbook life of achievement and married bliss....but really my drinking was out of control and it was screwing with my emotions and making things harder for me. It was taking the joy out of my life. When I realised that the alcohol was the cause of my emotional problems rather than the cure it was a light bulb going off and I realised then that I really needed to quit or it would eventually kill me.
I don't know you but from reading your posts I can see that you are hurting and I think it is almost certain that your drinking problem is a major contributory factor. Just my opinion.
One way of looking at it is to ask yourself: "if I can do xy and z how can I be an alcoholic?"
Another way is "am I losing control when I drink?".
From the outside I looked like I had a textbook life of achievement and married bliss....but really my drinking was out of control and it was screwing with my emotions and making things harder for me. It was taking the joy out of my life. When I realised that the alcohol was the cause of my emotional problems rather than the cure it was a light bulb going off and I realised then that I really needed to quit or it would eventually kill me.
I don't know you but from reading your posts I can see that you are hurting and I think it is almost certain that your drinking problem is a major contributory factor. Just my opinion.
I never lash out.
I dont shout.,
I dont loose control.
I dont become over emotional,
I do become numb which I love.
But I certianly do not change in my behavour which has been noted by many of my friends.
I will think about that, drinking doesnt cause me any hurt, drinking doesnt make me feel more sad, it used to When I was younger i used to drink then cut myself.
I have no feelings to do bad things, it goes like this. nothing particuler needs to happen for me to drink were as when i was younger it was fueled by anger.
Now I feel. *shrugs* fine. I look forward to that drink I am going to have.
Grab the bottle of wine, gulp it down in a few secs really, I dont time it i put it in my mouth, no time for a glass and down it , and its gone.
Then the exciting wait for the effect.
BOOOM the buzz hits.
I feel great.
My lips are numb. (Literaly) I have always responded to alcahol this way
My emotions are numb.
I feel chattier.
Overall I am still my self, but a comfertable self.
I am sorry to hear you were looking after a family till 11 days ago .. wow I really feel bad about that, I am curious as to your childrens ages, but I wont ask if you don't want to talk about it.
That must have been hard going through what you did. & I hope things are going better for you. I really do.
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hi WD, maybe time to pare it back a little and focus on the problem of your drinking. If you feel you have a problem with it or you suspect you may have then why not stop drinking for a while, push through the inevitable rollercoaster that that will trigger and then see how you feel about things in the cold light of day? I think you have a lot more to gain than to lose.
Even to stop for a while though is really difficult and will need tremendous focus and dedication.
Even to stop for a while though is really difficult and will need tremendous focus and dedication.
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Originally Posted by wheelingdizzy
I certianly do not loose control when I drink, I am in control at all times
I never lash out.
I dont shout.,
I dont loose control.
I dont become over emotional,
I do become numb which I love.
But I certianly do not change in my behavour which has been noted by many of my friends.
I will think about that, drinking doesnt cause me any hurt, drinking doesnt make me feel more sad, it used to When I was younger i used to drink then cut myself.
I have no feelings to do bad things, it goes like this. nothing particuler needs to happen for me to drink were as when i was younger it was fueled by anger.
Now I feel. *shrugs* fine. I look forward to that drink I am going to have.
Grab the bottle of wine, gulp it down in a few secs really, I dont time it i put it in my mouth, no time for a glass and down it , and its gone.
Then the exciting wait for the effect.
BOOOM the buzz hits.
I feel great.
My lips are numb. (Literaly) I have always responded to alcahol this way
My emotions are numb.
I feel chattier.
Overall I am still my self, but a comfertable self.
I am sorry to hear you were looking after a family till 11 days ago .. wow I really feel bad about that, I am curious as to your childrens ages, but I wont ask if you don't want to talk about it.
That must have been hard going through what you did. & I hope things are going better for you. I really do.
I never lash out.
I dont shout.,
I dont loose control.
I dont become over emotional,
I do become numb which I love.
But I certianly do not change in my behavour which has been noted by many of my friends.
I will think about that, drinking doesnt cause me any hurt, drinking doesnt make me feel more sad, it used to When I was younger i used to drink then cut myself.
I have no feelings to do bad things, it goes like this. nothing particuler needs to happen for me to drink were as when i was younger it was fueled by anger.
Now I feel. *shrugs* fine. I look forward to that drink I am going to have.
Grab the bottle of wine, gulp it down in a few secs really, I dont time it i put it in my mouth, no time for a glass and down it , and its gone.
Then the exciting wait for the effect.
BOOOM the buzz hits.
I feel great.
My lips are numb. (Literaly) I have always responded to alcahol this way
My emotions are numb.
I feel chattier.
Overall I am still my self, but a comfertable self.
I am sorry to hear you were looking after a family till 11 days ago .. wow I really feel bad about that, I am curious as to your childrens ages, but I wont ask if you don't want to talk about it.
That must have been hard going through what you did. & I hope things are going better for you. I really do.
By out of control I didn't mean you lose control of your actions. I meant you lose control on how much you drink and you lose the ability to choose to not drink for hours, days or even weeks. If you feel you drink more than you would like to drink then maybe its a problem.
If you feel you are 100% in control of how much you are drinking and you are making controlled decisions to drink the way you are then you don't realise you have a problem and therefore maybe you shouldn't be here. You can always come back when you realise you have a problem.
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One more thing, I also wasnt like " why me" soon as i got out of hosp., i got on with things,, its only the last coming of weeks ive had some health issues ive started to think this is too much to deal with like it hit me all at once.
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Originally Posted by ubntubnt
Things are going great thanks. Then again they were ok beforehand. I did most of my drinking when they were not around.
By out of control I didn't mean you lose control of your actions. I meant you lose control on how much you drink and you lose the ability to choose to not drink for hours, days or even weeks. If you feel you drink more than you would like to drink then maybe its a problem.
If you feel you are 100% in control of how much you are drinking and you are making controlled decisions to drink the way you are then you don't realise you have a problem and therefore maybe you shouldn't be here. You can always come back when you realise you have a problem.
By out of control I didn't mean you lose control of your actions. I meant you lose control on how much you drink and you lose the ability to choose to not drink for hours, days or even weeks. If you feel you drink more than you would like to drink then maybe its a problem.
If you feel you are 100% in control of how much you are drinking and you are making controlled decisions to drink the way you are then you don't realise you have a problem and therefore maybe you shouldn't be here. You can always come back when you realise you have a problem.
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i dont understand why i cant stay here, and come to terms with this problem.. why do i have to be fully accepting never returning back to thinking i have a problem.. i only thought i might have problem for sure a few days ago.. wow you guys love to put the preasure on " IF YOUR NOT ACCEPTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM RIGHT NOW THEN GET OUT"
BYE THEN. if i was not thinking i may have a problem why would i be here, just for fun because im enjoying it in here soooo much being told your not welcome here. id love to see how you feel when you finaly realise you havent got your **** together il see if it takes you THREE WHOLE DAYS to be sure you have a problem and not go back on that thought.
BYE THEN. if i was not thinking i may have a problem why would i be here, just for fun because im enjoying it in here soooo much being told your not welcome here. id love to see how you feel when you finaly realise you havent got your **** together il see if it takes you THREE WHOLE DAYS to be sure you have a problem and not go back on that thought.
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Ive said il reduce the amount im drinking yet your still saying maybe come back, is that not good enough? its a huge start for me, even it ifs not enough for the people telling me maybe i should not be here because i still have some doubt. whether im an alki or not, i admit from the start i know i have some kind of problem.
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hi, as you read deeper and learn more you will see that alcohol addiction is progressive...meaning it always gets worse, not better over time. It is for this reason that moderation does not work. Unfortunately we all learned this the hard way. We all tried to cut back for years and we know it doesn't work.
But yes trying to moderate is a decent start while you explore more and learn more. You came here and asked some questions and some good people gave you good advice. As you read around the site you will see them also helping others. Some, like Dee for example, have probably saved countless lives through the help he has given people. Nobody is seeking an argument with you r trying to irritate you. They are trying to save you the ordeal they themselves went through thats all.
But yes trying to moderate is a decent start while you explore more and learn more. You came here and asked some questions and some good people gave you good advice. As you read around the site you will see them also helping others. Some, like Dee for example, have probably saved countless lives through the help he has given people. Nobody is seeking an argument with you r trying to irritate you. They are trying to save you the ordeal they themselves went through thats all.
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you lots way of thinking makes no sence to me, im not at the stage you want me to be to be on your forum. yes best you go away and do what? just carry on as i am because the steps arnt big enough. seriously i dont know why i even bothered.
i bloody understand adictions get worse im not a moron thats why i came here, only to be told i should leave.
its a joke. weldone
carry on dealing with this crap on my own will achieve what? but fair enough honestly forget it.
Yes saving me the ordeal by telling me to leave can you even hear yourself?? how is telling me to leave when ive finanly started opening up going to help!
but if it makes you feel like your " saving me an ordeal" i will leave and carry on as i am damn this isnt even worth it.
like i said .. one day when you need someone, and you open up and allow your self to be vulnerable and your just told " well maybe come back another time" il see how much it helps you shutting that door again, and il see if you dare to open that door again. thanks for " saving me"
i bloody understand adictions get worse im not a moron thats why i came here, only to be told i should leave.
its a joke. weldone
carry on dealing with this crap on my own will achieve what? but fair enough honestly forget it.
Yes saving me the ordeal by telling me to leave can you even hear yourself?? how is telling me to leave when ive finanly started opening up going to help!
but if it makes you feel like your " saving me an ordeal" i will leave and carry on as i am damn this isnt even worth it.
like i said .. one day when you need someone, and you open up and allow your self to be vulnerable and your just told " well maybe come back another time" il see how much it helps you shutting that door again, and il see if you dare to open that door again. thanks for " saving me"
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you know what i actually didnt drink that one day i said i was going to because i saw one comment " dont drink stay with us" so i didnt. i didnt drink that day , yes i drank the day after but when i have a plan to drink i do it and that one day i didnt. okay. and as far as im concerned i dont care what you think wheather it wasnt good enough, for me it was something, i dont care anyway. yes telling me to leave is saving my life all the way. yes im sure. thanks means lots. tell the mod to just delete this stupid post and il go back to my hole. thanks for nothing.
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just explain to me how telling someone who has finaly started to open up how is telling me to leave going to help me just explain that? if im worth that tiney little ounce of explanation.
you have told me im not in the right place to be here 3 DAYS i have been here, or something and one of those days i have not drank. but no no . because om not saying im a blinding alki im not good enough to be here now. sorry for being honest.
you have told me im not in the right place to be here 3 DAYS i have been here, or something and one of those days i have not drank. but no no . because om not saying im a blinding alki im not good enough to be here now. sorry for being honest.
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i can read. you said if you dont feel that "abc then maybe you shouldnt be here" well il be here if i want. if i am on my journey and i am trying to learn about whats really going on , i dont care if im not were you think i should be to be here.
here we go again, i dont fit the criteria so i shouldnt be here,
A. I am fully in control of my drinking because I PLAN to drink almost everyday lol there is no randomness about it, so therefor i should not be here because you said if you can control how much you drink and when you drink.
Yes i 100percent can.
I would never go over 2 bottles. I would not because i dont want my health to get any worse.
I crave it . yes but i can do some stuff i need to do before i drink it.
Yes I am making controled discisions to drink how i am i dont even get what that means. I say I am going to drink 6 bottles in a week, I will drink those 6 bottles and not go over. so there we go.
All good in the hood as they say. I only get wasted out of my tree on a wednesday. other than that its just the one bottle a day or every other day.
So based on what you have said I should not be here. Do I drink in the morning? hell yes if im not going anywere and there is wine left on the window sill il down whats left. why? because i love it.
Do I enjoy drinking? I do not enjoy the tastes, i dont even barely taste it, I drink it so fast,
Why dont I quit? Because who wants a life with no escape? not me? who wants to feel like there is no end to this mess? not me. i need somwere to go, to escape the crap, and to even escape the good, i want to escape everything, even the wonderful little blessings in my life.
and now i have people around i have more excuse to drink as i have less responsibilities.
Im very lucky essentialy.
I made the shepards pie
I have a load of washing drying.
So now I feel I need a reward. so im not even drinking because I am sad, Im pretty numb.
here we go again, i dont fit the criteria so i shouldnt be here,
A. I am fully in control of my drinking because I PLAN to drink almost everyday lol there is no randomness about it, so therefor i should not be here because you said if you can control how much you drink and when you drink.
Yes i 100percent can.
I would never go over 2 bottles. I would not because i dont want my health to get any worse.
I crave it . yes but i can do some stuff i need to do before i drink it.
Yes I am making controled discisions to drink how i am i dont even get what that means. I say I am going to drink 6 bottles in a week, I will drink those 6 bottles and not go over. so there we go.
All good in the hood as they say. I only get wasted out of my tree on a wednesday. other than that its just the one bottle a day or every other day.
So based on what you have said I should not be here. Do I drink in the morning? hell yes if im not going anywere and there is wine left on the window sill il down whats left. why? because i love it.
Do I enjoy drinking? I do not enjoy the tastes, i dont even barely taste it, I drink it so fast,
Why dont I quit? Because who wants a life with no escape? not me? who wants to feel like there is no end to this mess? not me. i need somwere to go, to escape the crap, and to even escape the good, i want to escape everything, even the wonderful little blessings in my life.
and now i have people around i have more excuse to drink as i have less responsibilities.
Im very lucky essentialy.
I made the shepards pie
I have a load of washing drying.
So now I feel I need a reward. so im not even drinking because I am sad, Im pretty numb.
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like I said, nobody asked or told you to leave....seriously...read back. You are emotional and you took to assume that when its not the case at all. Why don't you read around the site a little, learn a little and then come back to this thread?
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Well, your feistiness should serve you well in life, wheeling.
Just for the record. . . any more than one six ounce glass of wine per day is too much for women according to health guidelines. Look it up - you are not in control. One glass a day is "in control." (Not to exceed seven glasses in a week.)
You're gonna do what you're gonna do. Nothing we say has been helpful.
I hope you get some help for your anger and resentment problems - that will eat you up. I understand how difficult your life has become and I even understand wanting to numb it out. It's just that this is a sobriety website. Your physical and emotional problems are real, no one is denying that. We are saying that if you come to a sobriety website, no one is going to say that your (other) problems are reason to drink. The drinking is going to take you to a very dark place emotionally - and could kill you.
Your choice.
Are you involved in any support groups for spinal cord injury patients? Not the volunteer stuff that you do at school, actual support with a therapist.
Just for the record. . . any more than one six ounce glass of wine per day is too much for women according to health guidelines. Look it up - you are not in control. One glass a day is "in control." (Not to exceed seven glasses in a week.)
You're gonna do what you're gonna do. Nothing we say has been helpful.
I hope you get some help for your anger and resentment problems - that will eat you up. I understand how difficult your life has become and I even understand wanting to numb it out. It's just that this is a sobriety website. Your physical and emotional problems are real, no one is denying that. We are saying that if you come to a sobriety website, no one is going to say that your (other) problems are reason to drink. The drinking is going to take you to a very dark place emotionally - and could kill you.
Your choice.
Are you involved in any support groups for spinal cord injury patients? Not the volunteer stuff that you do at school, actual support with a therapist.
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bimmi , i dont know what everyones problem is " nothing we say has been helpful" .. if thats the case why didnt i drink tuesday if nothing you all have said has b een helpful? i really dont get this at all. how do you know it hasnt been helpful? you dont really..
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i should ask what do you want from me? what wil show what your saying has been helpful? Let me be what you want me to be because im getting really irritated. because i have said to peopel specifically i have found them helpful.
I have said i will reduce the amount im drinking.
I have said clearly i have a problem..
tell me what do you need to show what you have said has been helpful, il go and buy some fire works.
I have said i will reduce the amount im drinking.
I have said clearly i have a problem..
tell me what do you need to show what you have said has been helpful, il go and buy some fire works.
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and actually i am getting more and more irritated because its 4pm and i have not had a thing to drink. and its making me even more annoyed. im annoyyed. because everyuone is saying everything they have said isnt helpful yet its 4pm and i still have had nothing to drink. i have had a completly free day today were i would have started at 11am ish. here i am at 4 and your all still moaning at me that nothing you say is helpful well why am i bothering then. because im trying my hardest honestly. anyway. il try not to drink over the weekend. and i will have this bottle of wine because im getting stressed. but i am listenting, i feel like you guys arnt listenting, i really want to reduce my problem but i cant just stop cold turkey.
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Originally Posted by wheelingdizzy
bimmi , i dont know what everyones problem is " nothing we say has been helpful" .. if thats the case why didnt i drink tuesday if nothing you all have said has b een helpful? i really dont get this at all. how do you know it hasnt been helpful? you dont really..
Maybe you could go back and read your highly argumentative angry posts?
I don't usually stay in a thread where every post from the OP is an argument - so I wish you well, and hope you find your way out. Spend some time reading instead of attacking, perhaps? We want to help.
Did you read anything else in my post, or just that one sentence?
Good luck to you.
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omg anger and resentment problem!! im not bloody angry generaly i am having a bad few days jeeeeeeze is this a joke?? you have a bad few damn days were your a bit of a moody cow and that means i have anger problems and resentment problems lol well il tell you now. ive managed just brilliantly up until this point in my life. thanks. i dont have anger or resentment problems who the hell am i resenting ?
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