Have I got a problem? or just a coping mechanism, drinking after trauma
 

I had a trauma 3 months ago, leaving me permantly wheelchair bound. I have apparently handled this very well, I was was on morphine on my long stay in hosp loved the buzz . but soon as i came home though they prescribed me a big bottle, i still have i stopped taking as i know i have addictive personalty, my spine is in a lot of pain.

anyway i drink between half a bottle of wine and a full bottle 4 times a week or so, i down it in couple minutes to feel the buzz.

i do not get withdrawels but like today i started craving at about 2pm like a pregnant woman craving gurkins, it made me irritatable so i got a bottle. about 2 times a week i get wasted out of my face with friends,

anyway as i do not drink first thing. i dont. i go to uni etc.

this not being able to walk has made me feel like this buzz is what i need.


but i cant be an alkiaholic right as i go to uni and dont drink while at uni . maybe when i get home. down the bottle of wine feel buzz. then drink lots water.

Welcome to the forums.

1. Why did you stop with needed pain meds? If you suspect you are an addictive type with them, why did you start drinking?

2. Alcohol leads to dependence quite quickly. You are on a very slippery path - especially if you are in pain and temporarily confined to a chair.

3. There is a point in time when heavy drinking becomes alcoholism and it is an invisible line that you don't want to cross, trust me. You are already showing signs of a drinking problem, I hope you can nip this in the bud now.

Welcome to the family. :) I hope you can stop drinking and learn to cope without alcohol. Drinking brings nothing but misery. :(

Your here looking for help so that us a good step in identifying that you probably have a problem.

I also did not drink all day long as some people did, I still am an alcoholic. It was hard at first to come to grips with this as it is hard to think we have a problem. Drinking does nothing positive for us especially when we start consuming too much.

Hello WheelingDizzy

Weelingdizzy, welcome to SR.

So sorry about what happened to you.

It's hard to imagine emotional and physical pain you are coping with, but wine is a tricky and devious evil to numb it with - it will take away the rest of hope and suck the life out.

As ruthless as pain is sometimes drinking never helps - just creates dangerous illusion.

Seek as much support as you can - can you get sessions with therapist who will help you work through emotional trauma?

This is a great place of support with people of endless experiences who went through all kinds of pain and won over addiction .

You can do it too.

Best wishes to you.

Keep posting.

I am so sorry for what happened to you. I can't even imagine.

I know from my own smaller struggles that when you drink to cope with grief, all you do is extend it. I don't know why exactly, but I suppose it's like outrunning a storm instead of weathering it. You keep ahead, but it's always right there at your heels. You'll face it every time you come back from the buzz.

I don't know if you're an alcoholic now, but the situation you describe is a recipe for alcoholism. And that's not a someday-down-the-road thing... it can happen very quickly in traumatic circumstances.

If you read around here you'll find that there are many, many people who drank to cope with trauma for years until they couldn't anymore. Now they have to figure out how to live with the trauma all over again, and also unlearn all of the coping mechanisms they developed. If you confront it now, you won't have to go down that road.

Good luck. Hugs to you.

I'm sorry for what happened wheelingdizzy - that can only be a huge adjustment.
Using alcohol to cope with the change really is a dangerous road.

Dependence can happen very very quickly.
The longer you let the nightly drinking cycle go on, the harder it will be to break.

Please don't think that to be alcoholic you have to drink in the mornings . I ended up that way but part of my story is similar to yours....a suddenly shocking change of life and the lure of a quick escape from my reality....

This is a great place for support tho - you'll find no better on the web - welcome :)
D

so sounds like your saying ive not crossed it :) positives in everything...

I had issues with alchaol when i was a kid i used to down bottles of vodka. i was dealing with alot of abuse back then. but gues what i stopped it when something positive came in my life. it always creeps back in when i think i have my life on track. i dont know were to start in nipping it in the bud. i have nothing that makes me feel spaced out , it makes me feel relaxed, the pain in my spine is less. my anxiety reduces. for a momment when i down the wine in one quick go. few gulps and everything is better for an hour.

I hear you. thank you for the welcome :)

Am I ok to ask more about this? Because I have asked someone about a "friend" you know as you do , and they said alkis drink all day,

so how often do you drink?

today was very strange.. 2pm hit, and i was craving wine so bad. i had a bottle up till this point but i waited till i had done some things i neeeded to do first. i can never remember really how often i drink, but i do know i found 9 bottles of empty wine hidden places in my room. that messed me up abit. i did drink errr alittle bit yesturday also .

its like i know im over board, but i need someone to convince me someoen to say this is what an alki is , you are not healthy with this. because i can admit i binge drink.

i drink even more now because when you are able to walk you get this woooh im drunk feeling when your walking you do not when you are sitting, and so i drink and drink and drink not feeling different. so i keep going.

i cant find it but someone said " why did you start drinking if you know you have an addictirv epersonality" is that a serious question?? so what avoid everything that might possibly get addictive just incase, im not here to be judged. i had my accident, and 3 weeks after coming home i started uni, everyone is going out drinking i got involved with everyone else. then id have a bottle of wine when out. ( i got a free bottle of wine once due to the lifts not working) so then the next day i had another bottle, then that went on for three days..
and it escalated from there.

I did not wake up and go oh im going to become a pisshead.

i need this buzz drinking gives me. im miserable.

everyone tells me how amazing i am adjusting to this chair , they have no idea, i look forward to the one night a week i go drinking with my friends that keeps my head above water, because they get a drunk as a monkey with me , and infact they tell me im so responsible because you cannot tell ive had a drink it looks like im sober.

thanks so much :)

Another thing, wheeling making eye contact, is crap. no one looks at you. strugglign over every damn rock that gets in your way. wheeling when ive had a drink wind in my face things seem easier.. life seems managable.

Thank you lovely well structured message, unlike my mess.

I have seen enough counsellers and therapists.

to make it more ironic. I am training to be a counseller.

what a mess im in.

but you cant tell i dont look a mess


i look great cute outfit, always very well put together, 5am i get up to get ready to be at uni. and everyone says how do you manage to look so good?

so i dont even look like ive been drinking the night before.

so they say if it doesnt effect your life your good?

i mean its not effecting me money wise im doing fine.

and then i think as its not vodka wine isnt so bad.

thanks for your advice.

you made me feel better by how kind you are being.

how are you doing?

I feel worried that if i stopp drinking i will replace with worse coping mechanisms that ive done in the past, out of them all this seems the most healthiest lol


i gues i need to face up to some things but i am so scared.

ive been home from the hospital 3 months. and i have an op on spine in jan. so many doc appintments before then maybe 6 , neurologist, nerve conduction, bla bla, it goes on and on and its never ending.

that one hour of buzz and drunkess. im not overwhelemed.

im so busy pretending im fine, no one knows anything thats going on. that i cant even do anything. i just dont know.

Thank you for being honest about how it started for you, I am sorry for what you went through.

I will be honest. if i have wine left from the night before say a quarter, I will down it in the morning, if i am not at uni.

I cannot see the point in sipping, i down a whole bottle in say 4 gulps.

Your right.. i should not be using it to cope..


but what if i feel i cant stop?


i drank yesturday..

i was fine today till 2pm and i was craving it , i was becoming irritated,, and annoyed, and agitated, ( well as agitated as one can be with only half a body to move)

what is this? ive never had this before?

Thank you for listenting, it feels so weird talkng about this and i feel everyone is going to give up on me before ive even started, but anyway. il be sober tommorow, and wonder why ive even come on here :( i feel like such a failure really.

I am ashamed, as I am typing this knowing what i am doing is no good, i am tempted to finnish another bottle , and my max is one bottle per night. but i just crave this thing were i just down it as fast as i can.

i only have two bottles in at a time. because i know im extreeme.