Originally Posted by biminiblue

Maybe you could go back and read your highly argumentative angry posts?

I don't usually stay in a thread where every post from the OP is an argument - so I wish you well, and hope you find your way out. Spend some time reading instead of attacking, perhaps? We want to help.

Did you read anything else in my post, or just that one sentence?

Good luck to you.

Originally Posted by ubntubnt

WD, ok great, we are making great progress.
Other than reducing your drinking (and we have tried to explain why that will not work for long), is there anything else you think you can do to address your problem?

Originally Posted by biminiblue

Well, your feistiness should serve you well in life, wheeling.

Just for the record. . . any more than one six ounce glass of wine per day is too much for women according to health guidelines. Look it up - you are not in control. One glass a day is "in control." (Not to exceed seven glasses in a week.)

You're gonna do what you're gonna do. Nothing we say has been helpful.

I hope you get some help for your anger and resentment problems - that will eat you up. I understand how difficult your life has become and I even understand wanting to numb it out. It's just that this is a sobriety website. Your physical and emotional problems are real, no one is denying that. We are saying that if you come to a sobriety website, no one is going to say that your (other) problems are reason to drink. The drinking is going to take you to a very dark place emotionally - and could kill you.

Your choice.

Are you involved in any support groups for spinal cord injury patients? Not the volunteer stuff that you do at school, actual support with a therapist.

Originally Posted by ubntubnt

There are a couple of things you can do I think. Keeping the booze out of the house is a great idea. I actually packaged mine up 11 days ago and gave it to a stranger on the street!
It might be a good idea to avoid your friends who are most likely to make you want to drink or encourage you to drink. Also avoid places that are most likely to make you want to drink like pubs and clubs. Not forever, but for a little while as you figure out how to address this problem.
Also try to not allow yourself to get too tired or hungry as they tend to be common triggers.

Originally Posted by wheelingdizzy

I get more wasted with others because people keep saying " your to responsible you never get drunk" .. lol its like little do you guys know im the biggest pisshead out of all of us lol i just dont show it when im drunk. wheeling drunk its very fun though. bettter than wheeling sober.

Originally Posted by ubntubnt

Its progressive WD, it will just keep getting worse until you stop. We all wish we could drink less like "normal people" but addiction doesn't work like that. Any addiction, its the nature of the beast. For an addict its all or nothing. The all will kill you eventually so really it has to be nothing.

Originally Posted by ubntubnt

honestly, I don't know enough about you or your other addictions to answer that but I do know alcohol well, far too intimately, and I know how powerful and nasty it is so please be careful. I need to sleep now (I am in Asia). Another non drinking night for me so a bright, early productive day for me tomorrow. Take care....

Originally Posted by wheelingdizzy

thank you for your time,

and you have worded everythings great.

can you explain this bit " don't know if the old rules apply in terms of comparing your drinking now to what you drank before"

And your right i gues il never know what the right dose is, and the funny thing is it doesnt make the pain in my spine better, but it makes it more managable because i just am feeling so out of it.

I thought i was doing the right things stopping meds, as i said i told my gp not to give me a big dose of morphine, it was either the morphine or i go back into hospital which he wanted at the time ( this was the day after i came home )

but when they prescribed me this giant bottle i couldnt believe it.

il be honest twice i took 5mg when i just wanted too.

then i realised i needed to stop.

i thought i was really proud of myself then .. but it appears im not doing aswell as i thought lol

And no, Im not getting help were i should be getting it. because i dont want to feel i need help.

Refused help from this thing you get a package so someone can come help you in morning and bed time with personal care, that is not something for me at all.

the spinal chord injury charity who came to see me in hosp insisted i talk to a solicter due to the negligence that made my injury worse while in hosp , i spoke to her once. i find it overwhelming. and i told him i dont need money anyway.

every one says you dont look disabled you look so cute just sat in a chair . i dont want people to know i need help. it takes me 45 minutes to put my shoes on in the morning. i wear the highest heals, and i wont swap them for trainers, even though i know there not doing my feet any good now i cant barely feel them i dont care lol

i think there might be something wrong with me because the sci(spinal chord injured) people i have spoke to said i dont seem to care whats happened, im just like whatever , i havent orgonized regulare deliveries for my personal care items etc,

and i go up and down on my ass everyday to go upstairs etc which is bad for your skin but i just dont care, i dont care about any of it, i really dont other sci people cant believe i starteduni so soon etc. sometimes i get really sick i think my body catches up with me and then i realise damn i am disabled i want to switch it off.

when im out with my friends i transfer onto a booth seat and push my wheelchair to there side and i sit there and drink and drink, not disabled then you know?

you really are right. i dont want to let anyone down.. people walk up to me and say " wow my mum and dads disabled and i wish theyd come out and have fun dancing and not care about anyone or anyone looking like you your amazing " people are happy when i look happy. how would they feel if they knew maybe im not doing so great? i want to be perfect, and i could be perfect, i could act like my life was perfect before this, now im sat down in this chair, there is no hiding it.

Originally Posted by OpenTuning

Hi wheeling dizzy,

Sorry, it took me a while to catch up with your posts today, but wanted to answer your question about why I said that bit about not knowing if the old rules apply.

In a more recent post you wrote "I am just wondering, my other addictions i managed to stop on my own with no intervention." And I got the sense from your first post that you were comparing what you were drinking now with what you used to do.

The thing is, your life has obviously had a fundamental change. I've often wondered how I'd cope if I lost the use of my legs. And I really, genuinely don't know. I like to think I'd eventually manage to adjust, but it would turn my life completely upside down. So no, I don't for a minute know what you're going through. But what I can sense, very, very clearly, is the pain you're in (emotional pain, though sounds like the physical pain is hard as well). And it breaks my heart to see you suffering so much.

So my point was just that you are having to find a new way to live. And right now, alcohol is playing a big part in that. So while you might have been in total control of drinking in the past, it's how you're handling it right now that's important. And the choices you make now could well have a lasting impact. Which is why many of us are hoping you will try to make this adjustment without using alcohol the way you have been.

I hope everyone here understands that with this life change happening so recently you'll be feeling a lot of very, very strong emotions, that may well swing all over the map. Of course you're sometimes bitter, angry, in pain, depressed. But also defiant, strong, determined, wanting to show the world you can handle this. Why wouldn't you want to do everything you used to do, and be admired for how well you're coping? To show how you can still laugh, drink, party, hang out with the gang, be like any other student.

My main point still stands though. I don't see looking for outside help and support as a sign of weakness. I always see it as a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit to yourself that for all your undoubted strength of will, life can be a struggle. Particularly when dealing with such a traumatic change.

I really hope you will reconsider some of those offers of help you say you've turned down. If other people in your situation are surprised about those decisions, it's probably a sign that they find them very useful.

In other words, try and see if you can reduce the burden on yourself. And maybe that might reduce the need for you to find other, less healthy ways to cope?

Please accept these thoughts in the spirit they're intended. I'm not judging you at all. I understand why you've made the choices you've made. I just want to see you get as much help and support as possible while you make this transition to a new life that you certainly never chose, but are stuck with nevertheless.