This new sober life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
I want to just put down just some of the positive changes in my life since I stopped drinking 91 days ago. Things are not perfect but they're SO much better.
Better mom to the love of my life, my 6 year old son. He deserves the best that I can be and I am focused on being that for him.
Better daughter. I'm not all sad talking to my mom and she doesn't need to worry about that which is a huge relief to her.
Better friend
More self respect.
I no longer feel like everyone would be better off without me.
No hangovers. Oh those hangovers. Not missed. I don't miss being in a cold room and sweating from withdrawals. I don't miss my hands trembling and I don't miss the paranoia, The awful headaches and my body twitching. Nope, don't want to ever experience those again.
People compliment on my appearance. I have been told numerous times in the last couple months that I'm looking nice and I look younger than my age. I never heard anything positive about how I looked while still actively drinking. Yes, it might be petty but a girl needs to hear a compliment every now and then.
Better employee. My productivity is much higher and my coworkers are realizing that they can depend on me again. My boss is very happy with me and I see respect in her eyes again. All she knew before was that I was sad and it was starting to affect my work. I'm very lucky that she was understanding and never gave up on me.
I'm not worried about reeking of booze, especially on Monday at work. No matter how hard I tried, still smelled of alcohol.
Sleep is so much better. No more going to sleep after drinking for a couple hours then waking up and not being able to go back to sleep.
Clear headed and don't have that terrible fogginess. That vice grip to my head, it's gone. i'm not worried about how I will handle things as much.
I'm not worried about anyone seeing me bringing in beer or taking cans out of the house. No more worries about anyone seeing my trash bag filled with beer cans. Not worried about anyone I know seeing me buy alcohol. There's no need because I'm not buying it.
No more rotating stores to buy alcohol.
I can enjoy simple things like a movie or going outside for a walk. I couldn't before because even if I wasn't drinking I couldn't focus on things like that.
Anxiety is a lot better. Drinking magnified any depression or anxiety.
I have hope again where there was none before.
I honestly LAUGH!! It's not fake laughter either.
There are so much more positives in my life now but I just wanted to write out a few of them. Like I said, things are not perfect but this life is a billion times better than the one I had before. I'm grateful for this website and everyone here. I'm sticking with this and never going back. Thank you. <3
Better mom to the love of my life, my 6 year old son. He deserves the best that I can be and I am focused on being that for him.
Better daughter. I'm not all sad talking to my mom and she doesn't need to worry about that which is a huge relief to her.
Better friend
More self respect.
I no longer feel like everyone would be better off without me.
No hangovers. Oh those hangovers. Not missed. I don't miss being in a cold room and sweating from withdrawals. I don't miss my hands trembling and I don't miss the paranoia, The awful headaches and my body twitching. Nope, don't want to ever experience those again.
People compliment on my appearance. I have been told numerous times in the last couple months that I'm looking nice and I look younger than my age. I never heard anything positive about how I looked while still actively drinking. Yes, it might be petty but a girl needs to hear a compliment every now and then.
Better employee. My productivity is much higher and my coworkers are realizing that they can depend on me again. My boss is very happy with me and I see respect in her eyes again. All she knew before was that I was sad and it was starting to affect my work. I'm very lucky that she was understanding and never gave up on me.
I'm not worried about reeking of booze, especially on Monday at work. No matter how hard I tried, still smelled of alcohol.
Sleep is so much better. No more going to sleep after drinking for a couple hours then waking up and not being able to go back to sleep.
Clear headed and don't have that terrible fogginess. That vice grip to my head, it's gone. i'm not worried about how I will handle things as much.
I'm not worried about anyone seeing me bringing in beer or taking cans out of the house. No more worries about anyone seeing my trash bag filled with beer cans. Not worried about anyone I know seeing me buy alcohol. There's no need because I'm not buying it.
No more rotating stores to buy alcohol.
I can enjoy simple things like a movie or going outside for a walk. I couldn't before because even if I wasn't drinking I couldn't focus on things like that.
Anxiety is a lot better. Drinking magnified any depression or anxiety.
I have hope again where there was none before.
I honestly LAUGH!! It's not fake laughter either.
There are so much more positives in my life now but I just wanted to write out a few of them. Like I said, things are not perfect but this life is a billion times better than the one I had before. I'm grateful for this website and everyone here. I'm sticking with this and never going back. Thank you. <3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 274
congratulations !!! I am right behind you at 32 days. I too have a young child and a teen. I feel guilty about time and money wasted because of alcohol and hang overs. I see a huge difference in my relationship with my teen since sober its been great. Love your idea of the happy journal may steal the idea!!! Fatigue has been hard too but loving the great sleep!!! Keep up the good work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
So I'll hit the big 100 days sober on Wednesday. Still amazed but grateful. Still having urges every now and then but the moment passes quickly enough. Sometimes they're intense but I'm in control of what I do and the voice can go back to where it came and leave me alone. I remember just wanting a drink so badly and I just would give in without fighting it that much. My son has been picked up by his dad and this would be my time that I would drink the most but keeping an eye on the clock to when I could stop to be as good as I could be for Monday. Bleh. What a horrible life, Some Sunday nights I would drink until 2:00am and then try to get a little sleep, and that's all the sleep I got - a little. Honestly, I wouldn't usually drink that late but it did happen a few times and the results the next morning were never pretty. It was bad enough drinking until 8 or 9.
In one of my previous posts, I wrote about all the positive things that have happened to me since I quit drinking. I left out dry heaving. UGH!! That was my wonderful Monday at work, looking like hell, hoping I didn't smell of alcohol and running to the bathroom because of "stomach" issues, dry heaves and the intense sweating. I would go to the sink and wet a paper towel with the coldest water so I could place it on my forehead for a couple minutes. I know I talk about all this a lot and I'm sorry about that. It's repetitive but I need to remember all that. There's so many other reasons to stay sober but the day after of it all needs to be remembered by me.
I'm still fighting loneliness but a friend who has been known to say stuff like this before wants me to meet someone. She s really the only friend who I text anymore. Sometimes I have thought that it would be nice to have someone in my life. However, I'm still early in recovery and I don't think I'm ready for all that. My focuses right now are being the best mom and staying sober. Also, working on myself every single day. Would be nice to have another friend to talk to but he is on the hunt for a relationship and I don't want to feel pressured. I've been alone for a long time and I can deal with more years of it. I would rather be single forever than the relationship I had before. Would have to make sure I'm strong, and can deal with the ups and downs in a relationship if a possibility occurs. Besides, I'm not going to have just any man in my son's life. That's the main thing. He has to be pretty dang awesome for that.
Guilt for drinking is something that I'm still working on. I don't want it to consume me so I'll continue to work on it. When I start to have my little pity party then I will often go online and look up things to help my son when he starts the first grade. He's very smart, great with his sight words and he loves math and I have been looking up things to keep him learning during the summer and ways to make it fun. I remember some of the most boring teachers growing up and it often made me want to tune out. Abcmouse was fun for him but he has finished most of it. He asks questions a lot and that's good. I remember once being in line with him and the lady behind the counter made a remark about how many questions he was asking about random things. I hadn't noticed that it was a lot as I'm used to it and just answer.
Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not really sure as to why I wrote all it out but there it is. I didn't sleep all that well last night and so I should get awesome sleep tonight and will be really good for tomorrow.
In one of my previous posts, I wrote about all the positive things that have happened to me since I quit drinking. I left out dry heaving. UGH!! That was my wonderful Monday at work, looking like hell, hoping I didn't smell of alcohol and running to the bathroom because of "stomach" issues, dry heaves and the intense sweating. I would go to the sink and wet a paper towel with the coldest water so I could place it on my forehead for a couple minutes. I know I talk about all this a lot and I'm sorry about that. It's repetitive but I need to remember all that. There's so many other reasons to stay sober but the day after of it all needs to be remembered by me.
I'm still fighting loneliness but a friend who has been known to say stuff like this before wants me to meet someone. She s really the only friend who I text anymore. Sometimes I have thought that it would be nice to have someone in my life. However, I'm still early in recovery and I don't think I'm ready for all that. My focuses right now are being the best mom and staying sober. Also, working on myself every single day. Would be nice to have another friend to talk to but he is on the hunt for a relationship and I don't want to feel pressured. I've been alone for a long time and I can deal with more years of it. I would rather be single forever than the relationship I had before. Would have to make sure I'm strong, and can deal with the ups and downs in a relationship if a possibility occurs. Besides, I'm not going to have just any man in my son's life. That's the main thing. He has to be pretty dang awesome for that.
Guilt for drinking is something that I'm still working on. I don't want it to consume me so I'll continue to work on it. When I start to have my little pity party then I will often go online and look up things to help my son when he starts the first grade. He's very smart, great with his sight words and he loves math and I have been looking up things to keep him learning during the summer and ways to make it fun. I remember some of the most boring teachers growing up and it often made me want to tune out. Abcmouse was fun for him but he has finished most of it. He asks questions a lot and that's good. I remember once being in line with him and the lady behind the counter made a remark about how many questions he was asking about random things. I hadn't noticed that it was a lot as I'm used to it and just answer.
Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not really sure as to why I wrote all it out but there it is. I didn't sleep all that well last night and so I should get awesome sleep tonight and will be really good for tomorrow.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,466
Congrats on your approaching 100 days
My advice is to not run too far ahead if you don't feel ready. For me, not drinking was effort enough for a few months.
Once I had that sorted I could start to think about all the other things I wanted or needed to do
D
My advice is to not run too far ahead if you don't feel ready. For me, not drinking was effort enough for a few months.
Once I had that sorted I could start to think about all the other things I wanted or needed to do
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Thanks for that Angie. It's important for all of us from time to time to take a few minutes out to remember where we come from in a drinking sense.
Nice to hear your news. Your son sounds amazing and it's great you have him around so you can channel positivity in that direction.
I'm with Dee. One step at a time. New relationships can be great but there can be a bit of stress involved especially if they backfire in the end. I wouldn't worry too much for now and give myself a little more time.
Have a great day
Nice to hear your news. Your son sounds amazing and it's great you have him around so you can channel positivity in that direction.
I'm with Dee. One step at a time. New relationships can be great but there can be a bit of stress involved especially if they backfire in the end. I wouldn't worry too much for now and give myself a little more time.
Have a great day
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 25
Ty for sharing. I needed to read this. The thoughts you point out about watching the clock before a workday just to see how long you could stay up drinking to be "OK" the next day....which I was never OK....I had "tummy bugs" and acid reflux and "I must've ate something" way too often! U reminded me just how much of a problem I really had. Staying here and reading others struggles makes me feel less alone in this. And at the risk of offending (I hope I'm not) your story and others validate I actually do have a problem. Sometimes your AV tricks u into thinking you didn't have a problem and you weren't that bad....but reading similar behaviors and stories makes you really have to stare it down. Anyway...thank you again. I appreciate you and I'm glad you're here. Much love!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Thank you all so much! Christimac, not offended in the least. I'm so glad something I said has helped! ((hugs))
It's day 100! I'm feeling ok but I am having issues going to sleep and it hasn't helped that Elvis has woken me in the middle of the night two nights in a row to play and it has been difficult to go back to sleep. Today my eyes looked a lot like they did on a Monday after drinking and not getting enough sleep. Bleh!! Tonight, my brain feels a bit foggy. I'm laying off the caffeine too. I drank some sleepytime extra tea after my son went to sleep but it hasn't really done anything. I can't still my mind enough to sleep. I've just looked up mediation for beginners and I'm going to give it a shot. If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them. If this meditation doesn't work then I might just do a bunch of jumping jacks to wear myself out.
It's day 100!
I'm feeling ok but I am having issues going to sleep and it hasn't helped that Elvis has woken me in the middle of the night two nights in a row to play and it has been difficult to go back to sleep. Today my eyes looked a lot like they did on a Monday after drinking and not getting enough sleep. Bleh!! Tonight, my brain feels a bit foggy. I'm laying off the caffeine too. I drank some sleepytime extra tea after my son went to sleep but it hasn't really done anything. I can't still my mind enough to sleep. I've just looked up mediation for beginners and I'm going to give it a shot. If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them. If this meditation doesn't work then I might just do a bunch of jumping jacks to wear myself out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Sometimes going into other sections in the forums is the kick in the rear that I need when having cravings. I went into adult children of alcoholics forum and my heart goes out to them but it is just another resolve to keep at this with everything I have in me. My son will not grow up with a mother who still drinks. He won't have to grow up with all the horrible emotions about having a mother who drinks. Another reason why I am so thankful for SR. Day 103.
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