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This new sober life

Old 07-20-2015, 07:11 PM
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12 weeks sober today. No real bad cravings in a while. I thought about it as I was driving in the car but I let the thought fly on by. I'm worried though because I am afraid I don't have it in me to stay sober forever. Just take it one day at a time. I have wondered when I will have a drink and get nervous about what will finally make me have that first drink. Those are not pleasant thoughts. I want to have about 8 months sobriety when I visit family at the end of the year. If I stay the course, I'll be 282 days sober when I visit family. I'm sorry, just feeling weak minded today but in no danger of drinking at all today. If the temptation gets to be too much, and I'm about to head out to get a drink then I will post here and make a separate thread. Lots of conflicting emotions here but I'm going to fight this thing with everything I have.
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Old 07-20-2015, 07:39 PM
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Have you read about urge surfing yet, Angie?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
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Old 07-20-2015, 11:11 PM
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Not sure Angie but maybe you're stressing too much about the future? You often post about anxiety related to some future time but stress that there's no immediate danger.

I read somewhere that dwelling too much on the past leads to depression while dwelling too much on the future provokes anxiety.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift which is why it is called the present.

It's just a thought but it might help keep things in perspective. Many, many congratulations on 12 weeks! I hope you feel proud!
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Old 07-20-2015, 11:50 PM
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Congrats on 12 weeks, Angie! Why would you assume you're going to have a drink some day? There are hundreds of folks posting here regularly that prove each and every day that former problem drinkers like us do not have to pick up that bottle again. You're doing great, just keep doing what you're doing to stay sober today again tomorrow and it'll all be fine.
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Old 07-21-2015, 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Angie247 View Post
I'm worried though because I am afraid I don't have it in me to stay sober forever.
I wasn't sure I had it in me either - after all I'd 'failed' lots of times and gone back to drinking - I feared I was one of those hopeless drunks.

But, at the same time, I *really* wanted change....I went farther than I'd ever gone before to change my life and to focus on recovery.

To stop me freaking out too much I just focused on each day...staying sober forever was inconceivable to me, but staying sober for 24 hours wasn't.

The funny thing was that , after a while I looked back at a growing string of days, and forever started to feel like an achievable goal.

I changed too - you can't help it really - I was facing up to things I used to drink over, and getting through that stuff sober means I grew as a person.

I began to see that, while the old drinking me might have been incapable of comprehending lasting recovery, the new sober me - Dee version 2.0 - was not.

Stick with it Angie - you really can do this, I promise

D
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Old 07-21-2015, 03:54 AM
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Good morning Angie.. Congrats on 12 weeks!

I get caught up as well making future plans which plenty of times let me down & would send me to wine! It's been only 65 days for me & i didnt plan to quit either. I just woke up that painful morning & said i couldnt keep living like this, couldnt keep killing myself slowly & the people around me. The hardest thing i've had to start learning is to just live day by day. Take each day, hour as it comes. Last week was my 60 days. I had so much excitement planned in my head that when the actual day came i just felled like crap. So i've had to stop stressing on the future or i'm afraid it could lead to a drink. I've stopped counting ahead because those numbers would then have me start planning things ahead of time that really weren't important today. Like i said, i didnt plan to quit drinking, & i plan EVERYTHING, but i know i never ever want to pick up another drink . You actually sound just as afraid as i do of slipping up so hopefully that fear alone will keep you away from alcohol forever.
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:53 PM
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You are all so wonderful. Thank you so much. Soberpotamus, I needed to read that tonight, thank you for posting it. Ever since I was a little girl, I have stressed and worried about bad things happening in the future. It's been a struggle to enjoy the now because of my panic about the future and I'm really tired of that. That will have to be something I work on, telling myself to chill out and don't worry so much. This is going to be tough but I have a lot more free time now that I'm not drinking or worrying about how much beer I have and I have time to try to re organize my way of thinking. I've also got to give myself a little credit for once because I always beat myself up. I didn't think I could stop drinking for this long even though it's very, very early but I do feel a little proud of those 85 days. Not one drop, and I thought I wouldn't be able to go a weekend without it. Thank you all again so much. I'm so grateful that I found SR. <3
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:57 PM
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You can do this, Angie.
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Old 07-21-2015, 09:06 PM
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WTG Angie! You should be proud. I love you're statement about being proud of 85 thinking that you wouldn't last a weekend without it!

Like you, I'm sure, I was really worried about the first 24hrs! I'm now more proud of my count then ever. Thanks for that.
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Old 07-21-2015, 10:54 PM
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Congrats Angie. You're looking good there. Keep on keeping on.
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Angie247 View Post
Ever since I was a little girl, I have stressed and worried about bad things happening in the future. It's been a struggle to enjoy the now because of my panic about the future and I'm really tired of that. That will have to be something I work on, telling myself to chill out and don't worry so much. This is going to be tough but I have a lot more free time now that I'm not drinking or worrying about how much beer I have and I have time to try to re organize my way of thinking.
It can be done, and you can do it My first thought is to suggest some books on mindfulness. I have a few in mind if you're interested. If not, that's ok too, of course.
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Old 07-22-2015, 10:28 AM
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Just caught up on your thread Angie! I am so proud of you. You truly are an inspiration. I just wanted to add that I too tend to think about the future too much and it causes me anxiety in the present moment, where in fact I am doing nothing to cause me to feel stressed. I am trying hard to stay focused on the now, and taking this sober thing one day at a time. The am working my way through a book titled, "The Tethered Soul" which I started a few months ago (while still drinking) and just picked it up again the other night when I couldn't sleep. It's about staying in the present moment. You should see if you can find it the next time you visit the library.
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Old 07-25-2015, 09:51 PM
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I'm 90 days sober. :-) This is only the beginning of my new life. It hasn't been easy but with all the support here I've taken it one day at a time and now I have 90 days under my belt. Just have to keep at it and not take that first drink that will lead right back to where I was, if not worse. Life is just better sober. I may write more after I sleep but I wanted to get this in.
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Old 07-25-2015, 10:56 PM
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Congratulations on 90! I just read your thread so far and it's so inspiring. Your last few posts spoke to my own anxiety about staying the course. I'm only on day 7, though, so no advice. I just wanted to say I feel you, I wish for you to be able to forgive yourself for the past because it's done, thank you for sharing and I wish you the best in continuing with your new life
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Old 07-25-2015, 11:00 PM
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Awesome post Angie! I've been following your thread since you started it and you continue to inspire.

I'm about a year sober and I have shared many of the same anxieties about..."Well, I'm doing great, but can I keep this up forever?"

I think the only way I can describe it is that sobriety becomes the norm. The new normal. Does that make sense? I think all humans like a sense of normalcy and predictability so that's really nice that after some sober time, going through the day and night without alcohol is normal.

I no longer go to bed and think "Thank god my head is hitting the pillow sober." Now it's more like "Well that was nice day..."

We always stay mindful of our sobriety but it continues to get easier and easier, or more "normal."
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Old 07-25-2015, 11:18 PM
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Congrats on 90 days, Angie!
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:32 AM
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Well done Angie! So happy for you and your 90 hard earned days! There is a before and after on 90 allegedly.

I felt amazing last week when I passed 90 though the last few days have been unexpectedly hard. AV has a tendency to rally around the big mile stones so watch out for that.

It's been quite a journey to get here, I think you'll agree. Looking forward to the next installment!
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Old 07-26-2015, 07:58 AM
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90 days! You rock, Angie.

Not only can you do this, you are doing this. Be proud of yourself! Your SR family is! As Melinda notes, you are inspirational.

Just to piggyback on the assurances from others, it really does get easier.
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:46 AM
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Congratulations on 90 days, Angie!!!

I am so happy to see you persevere in your sobriety!!! One day at a time!

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Old 07-26-2015, 02:24 PM
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Hi Angie, "Life is just better sober". Isn't that the truth? Speaking just for myself, life sober is just that...better. Its not great, super-awesome, heavenly, or like winning the lottery, its just better, in every way imaginable. And for me, that's enough. Great job.
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