Angie247

I'm not drinking. I'm back home. I turned my car around, went to dollar tree where I bought a diet Mountain Dew, dark chocolate and a cat toy for Elvis. I'm crying out of gratitude reading your messages. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving me again.

Cleomie

Elvis is so cute! One lucky cat!!
Hang in there!

Upwardspiral

Angie I'm so glad you didn't drink. I just caught up with your thread and it made my heart drop when you said you were at the liquor store. Your thread was one of the first I read when I found SR 5 weeks ago and it gave me hope. I feel concern for you even though we've never met. I think you inspire a lot of people and they hope for the best for you. You've been through a lot, you deserve to be happy.

Angie247

It's really hard sometimes all by myself and I'm having some health issues which aren't that major but they're there, car issues and I can't get someone to come help me put in the air conditioner that I bought. There's no one. I know I've got it so much easier than so many people and I'm just a jerk. I've relied a long time by myself because my ex husband got very angry if I requested help. A lot of memories of past abuse were coming at me while I was in the car. I went to the dollar tree then came home to my kitty, Elvis who was happy to see me and loved his toy.

Upwardspiral

Feeling down about hardships in life doesn't make you a jerk. There are always plenty of folks who have it worse, but suffering is suffering.
I try to avoid asking for help too, I feel like I don't deserve it I guess. It's crazy because usually if someone is in a position to help you they're happy to do it. All we have to do is ask.

SportsFan15

Oh Angie, I'm so glad you didn't drink. Way to go!! I agree with Upward Spiral that you've inspired many on SR, me included, I'm on Day 3. I'm also a woman prone to lots of guilt and shame....I beat myself up...very negative thoughts in my head. Oddly, this makes me better able to help you....Please realize the cravings are not your fault. They're your brain trying to get you to drink. Don't blame yourself. When you start to be hard on yourself, remember you have so many friends on SR that are going through the exact same things. You are doing great! I promise that going home to your cat is much sweeter and happier in the end!

Angie247

I am so exhausted but I'm waiting for clothes to finish drying. I needed to wash clothes and that definitely would not have been happening right now if I were drinking. I have to share the washer and dryer so I would be worrying about catching it free tomorrow and with a hangover. Ugh. I watched an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond and I'm now watching an episode of Columbo. 15 more minutes until the clothes are finished but I want to stay up and watch Columbo catch the murderer. Thank you so much to everyone for being here for me and being so kind.

amp123

Well done Angie for not drinking and especially well done for asking for help here online!!! It can get really hard being on your own and the fact that other people may have it worse doesn't mean you have to love loneliness!

Stay close to SR and keep checking in!

Take care!

Soberwolf

you are awesome

JaneLane

I'm so glad you didn't drink. What you said about if you were drinking, you wouldn't have got the laundry done, I understand!
The first thing I sorted out when I got sober was my out of control laundry pile and I remember buying an iron because I'd never ironed before and had no clue what I was doing. It was funny. I had the early sobriety head-fuzz and a headache and was standing in the electrical shop completely confused! It's the little things :-)

gleefan

Good job Angie.

In the early days of sobriety when I was battling my cravings, I realized how isolated I had become while drinking. I was always a person who was happy to lend a hand to others, but learning to ask for help, then learning to make my needs a priority, changed my life for the better.

Bellamiaa

I'm so happy you didn't drink! You're awesome!
xo

SportsFan15

Proud of you! You will look back in a few days and be even more glad you didn't drink. The folks who have years under their belts say "it gets easier" so we newbies can keep remembering that. So glad we are on SR!

Angie247

Thank you all again so much for the support. I am so very happy that I didn't drink. I'm tweaking my plan a little because yesterday really scared me and I was so close to throwing it all away. I'm trying to decide what to do but I've got to make some changes. Have been noticing a few things that could really lead me back to the life I had before and I can't let that happen. One thing is not participating as much on here anymore. That will change and I will be more active on here but hopefully not annoying. I'm going to participate more in the (awesome) class of April again too. My eating habits really were bad this weekend and I was just lazy too. I feel much better about myself when I'm eating healthier and more active so tomorrow it starts back up. Just going to write down a lot of what I need to do and keep at it. It really scares me to know how close I came to drinking. If I had then I know I would either still be drinking now or fighting withdrawals and that idea really depresses me. Today is 125 days sober. I will fight this thing.

amp123

Good for you, Angie. I've been feeling fine recently but make a point of still being really participative on SR. What I have is too valuable to take for granted!!

Anyway, sounds like you're in a much better place and taking positive steps so good for you!

Happy Monday!

Soberwolf

Angie

Angie247

No cravings for alcohol but just having a rough week. I'm trying to be positive but I've started back pigging out during the week. I'm still trying to get more steps in but I didn't walk that much today on breaks or during lunch. I sat in the break room, listened to office gossip and got more depressed. Someone was let go several weeks ago, and he told another coworker that the company is trying to stop him getting unemployment and he's stressing out. He was let go for being late too many times. Thankfully, I've never been in a position to have to get unemployment (yet) but I feel badly for him, he's got a wife and 4 kids. However, he should not have been late so much because it sounded like he just never left the house early enough. I was not aware of him being late so much because I come in an hour later than he did. I've worked for this place for 8 years and have seen people late all the time but never one that was fired for it. I've seen people go for screaming at the boss, having an affair with a employee and lying about it, starting a rumor that the reason two guys never got in trouble was because they must be sleeping with the boss, being drunk at work for several employees and one in management when she was drunk and took out a fence leaving for lunch, and someone else calling someone in management the b word to her face. Anyway, I hope he finds steady employment soon and will be more careful about time and attendance.

I'm not even sure why I posted this but it's there. I'm hanging in there and happy to have no cravings for alcohol. Just have to work on the over eating,

Soberwolf

Here if you ever want to talk Angie

amp123

Hey Angie,

Office life is a weird thing. A bit dog eat dog at times. I always feel that if I am consistent and considerate I should be OK!!! Easier said than done but anyway...

Glad you're not having any craving problems. Since I stopped drinking I'm having trouble eating right too. I think our bodies were addicted not only to booze but also all the sugar in alcoholic drinks. My main priority is to stay off the booze for 6 months and then start tweaking my diet. Little by little, eh?

All the best!!

lessgravity

Angie,

A real inspiration. Stay strong. You got this.