Not sure if I should be here
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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@lonelyshadow thats good to know if I need advice I will come to you 
I think the main reason I am using fitness is because after a work out I never feel the need to drink and only use coke when drinking so it should help resist temptation but I know it wont solve th problems.
@Elodie I know what you mean I am thinking of something now and I will make sure to do something for them asap
I think the main reason I am using fitness is because after a work out I never feel the need to drink and only use coke when drinking so it should help resist temptation but I know it wont solve th problems.@Elodie I know what you mean I am thinking of something now and I will make sure to do something for them asap
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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Welcome to the SR family! I'm glad you joined us. I hope you make your goal of fifty days sober. If you do, I hope you don't go back to that madness. I live sober now and really like my sober life.
I'm glad you joined us. I hope you make your goal of fifty days sober. If you do, I hope you don't go back to that madness. I live sober now and really like my sober life. Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
LonelyShadow/Cohiba,
I'm also in my 20s and know exactly what you are saying. It definitely feels a lot harder when peers are all into drinking (though seemingly 90% of my peers can do it responsibly and I'm in the 10% that do stupid things).
None of my friends have kids and while some are married, there's definitely a lot of drinking going on and drinking to get drunk, not just a glass or two of wine at dinner, which at least from my perspective, seems to be more the norm for older folks.
With that said, I know plenty of older people that drink a ton, so I don't think the challenges will reduce over time in that respect.
I'm on Day 11 here and been presented with 3 great opportunities to drink socially. I've found that I can actually enjoy myself when not drinking, but I need to commit mentally to enjoying it and not feel bad about myself for being unable to handle alcohol.
I'm also in my 20s and know exactly what you are saying. It definitely feels a lot harder when peers are all into drinking (though seemingly 90% of my peers can do it responsibly and I'm in the 10% that do stupid things).
None of my friends have kids and while some are married, there's definitely a lot of drinking going on and drinking to get drunk, not just a glass or two of wine at dinner, which at least from my perspective, seems to be more the norm for older folks.
With that said, I know plenty of older people that drink a ton, so I don't think the challenges will reduce over time in that respect.
I'm on Day 11 here and been presented with 3 great opportunities to drink socially. I've found that I can actually enjoy myself when not drinking, but I need to commit mentally to enjoying it and not feel bad about myself for being unable to handle alcohol.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
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Welcome to the Forum Cohiba!! 
It sounds though like alcohol is causing some problems in your life, the mention of not being able to control yourself when it comes to alcohol is a warning flag to take note of!!
It sounds though like alcohol is causing some problems in your life, the mention of not being able to control yourself when it comes to alcohol is a warning flag to take note of!!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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@least thank you I am certain I can make 50 days with this forum and the people on here helping me, if I meet the 50 days and have a slip up afterwads that is it for life I just want to be one of those guys that has a few drinks and no drugs...just not sure its possible yet.
@nymets86 that is exactly how I feel I am the one in the group who always does stupid things when they get ****** up or ends up binging for days on end when everyone else goes to bed. Well done on Day 11 I am hoping to be able to go out and not drink but I am going to give it a few weeks before I try.
@levithan I know exactly what you mean for me I think I take coke just to drink more but then when I start its so mourish I dont stop until the dealers run out or I am physically sick.
@purpleknight thanks I think that is what scares me the most everyone I know can slightly control themself when alcohol involved like going home at normal times,not buying drugs, not being the idiot of the group. I have noticed the past month it has got worse every weekend I have had 2/3 day binges and I see it as normal as I know of lots others that do it or have done it but want to end this now.
@nymets86 that is exactly how I feel I am the one in the group who always does stupid things when they get ****** up or ends up binging for days on end when everyone else goes to bed. Well done on Day 11 I am hoping to be able to go out and not drink but I am going to give it a few weeks before I try.
@levithan I know exactly what you mean for me I think I take coke just to drink more but then when I start its so mourish I dont stop until the dealers run out or I am physically sick.
@purpleknight thanks I think that is what scares me the most everyone I know can slightly control themself when alcohol involved like going home at normal times,not buying drugs, not being the idiot of the group. I have noticed the past month it has got worse every weekend I have had 2/3 day binges and I see it as normal as I know of lots others that do it or have done it but want to end this now.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by Cohiba 
So I am not 100% sure if I should be here because I do not know if I am classed as an addict or just an idiot
It took me many years to come to the realization that I was both.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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@LBrain The long answer isn't needed, I think that sums me up completely as well.
I think I am wishing after 50 days I will be cured clinging on to that little hope I could be normal on alcohol but I doubt it will ever happen.
I think I am wishing after 50 days I will be cured clinging on to that little hope I could be normal on alcohol but I doubt it will ever happen.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome, Cohiba!
As others have said, most of us have wished desperately to be able to 'go back' and drink like a normal person. Unfortunately, when an alcoholic crosses the invisible line, there is no going back. It will be up to you to decide whether stopping drinking forever will benefit your life. Your plan to stop drinking for 50 days is a good one, but I hope you keep an open mind to stopping for good.
As others have said, most of us have wished desperately to be able to 'go back' and drink like a normal person. Unfortunately, when an alcoholic crosses the invisible line, there is no going back. It will be up to you to decide whether stopping drinking forever will benefit your life. Your plan to stop drinking for 50 days is a good one, but I hope you keep an open mind to stopping for good.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
glad to hear you are stopping. coke and alcohol are a heart attack waiting to happen if we already haven't had a stroke due to this combination, many strokes we have aren't noticed until a doctor checks us out fully and tells us how many we've had.
You can do this! although I suggest you maybe wait to consider drinking/using again, it can be hard on our bodies to use again.
hugs and love to you
You can do this! although I suggest you maybe wait to consider drinking/using again, it can be hard on our bodies to use again.
hugs and love to you
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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@Anna thank you I feel like now I am not ready to commit honestly for the rest of my life as I am only 25 and it seems like that would be a big commitment for now I am going to do the 50 days and see how it goes I am hoping that may calm things a little if not I am going full time.
@sugarbear thank you for the message the plan is to give up the cocaine 100% I have had heart palpitations after huge cocaine binges which cant be good at all, the alcohol I just want to drink on special occasions.
@sugarbear thank you for the message the plan is to give up the cocaine 100% I have had heart palpitations after huge cocaine binges which cant be good at all, the alcohol I just want to drink on special occasions.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Cohiba, one thing I've really been struggling with the last two weeks, and struggled with the longer stints of sobriety I've had is the thought of never drinking again forever. I'm 29, so in a similar age range.
I've asked myself the following: When I drink, do I intend to get drunk? Deep down, I know the answer is yes. With that in mind, I don't think I can go back to moderating. Since I'm also not a daily drinker, and probably have the on/off switch somewhere around two or three drinks, I'm not going to beat myself up if I have NyQuil or say a glass of champagne at a wedding or a taste of a local beer while visiting a foreign country, but I know that just recreationally drinking is going to lead to me eventually experiencing more blackouts.
I think 50 days is a great goal. It's achievable and not as scary as "forever." I just wonder if you, like me, let a few beers turn into a blackout night all too often.
I've asked myself the following: When I drink, do I intend to get drunk? Deep down, I know the answer is yes. With that in mind, I don't think I can go back to moderating. Since I'm also not a daily drinker, and probably have the on/off switch somewhere around two or three drinks, I'm not going to beat myself up if I have NyQuil or say a glass of champagne at a wedding or a taste of a local beer while visiting a foreign country, but I know that just recreationally drinking is going to lead to me eventually experiencing more blackouts.
I think 50 days is a great goal. It's achievable and not as scary as "forever." I just wonder if you, like me, let a few beers turn into a blackout night all too often.
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@neoguest thank you wishing you all the luck as well.
@nymets86 thank you for your post really good to know someone else in the same boat. I want to give myself the 50 days as it is enough time for a big detox, see results in the gym and clear my debts. I am hoping that the 50 days clean will make me realize how fun being sober can be as when I did my 30 days before all I was counting down to was when I could get ****** up again, well I am changing that this time and going to be more productive.
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE: How do you deal with your social group? I am not ready to tell people that I have a problem and am addressing it just have said doing 50 days clean for health reasons. Just had a twenty minute phone call from my friend drunk trying to persuade me to book a trip to Amsterdam as 15 of them are at the pub at the moment and about to book it which I know will be an insane drug and drink binge, and he is saying they wont book it without me as it wont be as fun and will wait for another weekend etc. I have managed to hold out saying no and am very happy with myself but I am sure he will be ringing tomorrow to persuade me again. I just dont know how to deal with this and so soon.
@nymets86 thank you for your post really good to know someone else in the same boat. I want to give myself the 50 days as it is enough time for a big detox, see results in the gym and clear my debts. I am hoping that the 50 days clean will make me realize how fun being sober can be as when I did my 30 days before all I was counting down to was when I could get ****** up again, well I am changing that this time and going to be more productive.
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE: How do you deal with your social group? I am not ready to tell people that I have a problem and am addressing it just have said doing 50 days clean for health reasons. Just had a twenty minute phone call from my friend drunk trying to persuade me to book a trip to Amsterdam as 15 of them are at the pub at the moment and about to book it which I know will be an insane drug and drink binge, and he is saying they wont book it without me as it wont be as fun and will wait for another weekend etc. I have managed to hold out saying no and am very happy with myself but I am sure he will be ringing tomorrow to persuade me again. I just dont know how to deal with this and so soon.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
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When you did the 30 days, how did you deal with the social group? Could some of the same tactics work again?
I know I haven't told any of my friends that I've stopped drinking either. Definitely adds to the challenge of staying sober when people are offering you drinks. I've had success with "I just don't feel like it" and "I have work to do later."
A trip to Amsterdam with drinking buddies seems like a definite no-go. Given it is 15 people, I'm assuming they have a date picked out. Why not just say you're visiting your parents that weekend and can't do Amsterdam? Maybe just say that you're saving up money for something and don't want to spend on a big weekend?
Also, from an outsider's perspective, it sounds like normal peer pressure to try to get you to go by saying they're not going if you don't. It's 15 people.....does it really all hinge on you being there? doesn't seem logical.
I know I haven't told any of my friends that I've stopped drinking either. Definitely adds to the challenge of staying sober when people are offering you drinks. I've had success with "I just don't feel like it" and "I have work to do later."
A trip to Amsterdam with drinking buddies seems like a definite no-go. Given it is 15 people, I'm assuming they have a date picked out. Why not just say you're visiting your parents that weekend and can't do Amsterdam? Maybe just say that you're saving up money for something and don't want to spend on a big weekend?
Also, from an outsider's perspective, it sounds like normal peer pressure to try to get you to go by saying they're not going if you don't. It's 15 people.....does it really all hinge on you being there? doesn't seem logical.
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@nymets86 last time I dealt with them by explaining that I am on a month long deox and as it was January it was easier to pull off as everyone was skint from x-mas and new years but I am going to explain again I am doing 50 days for exercise/health reasons and take it from there.
I am starting a new job so going to just explain to them that work will be too stressful/busy to get on it or go to Amsterdam. It wouldn't hinge on me it would just make it easier as even numbers for rooms and I think the main reason they are blagging it is because I have never missed any of the group holidays etc and I am always the one to stay up the whole trip on a surge so I think they just know it would be a laugh. I am refusing it for my detox period anyway.
I am starting a new job so going to just explain to them that work will be too stressful/busy to get on it or go to Amsterdam. It wouldn't hinge on me it would just make it easier as even numbers for rooms and I think the main reason they are blagging it is because I have never missed any of the group holidays etc and I am always the one to stay up the whole trip on a surge so I think they just know it would be a laugh. I am refusing it for my detox period anyway.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 56
Cohiba. I had about 15 years of coke and booze. When I was younger and single and unmarried, I was in the same cycle as you and hating myself on Monday and feeling like I was ready to get after by the next Thursday. I made myself all the promises and programs (I probably made 100 workout programs) and swore everything off and it never worked for any long period of time. Unlike you, I was too immature and insecure to admit I had a problem in my 20's.
Go with what feels good. Based on what you say in your post, you like to get high. That typically doesn't translate well to moderation but give it a shot. Know that all of the benders you have had and will continue to have are going to come at the expense of time you could have been spending doing something else so much cooler. Careful you don't let a decade go by.
One other fact that I wish I would have heard when I was out partying is that you will not wake up in a few years and suddenly life will have changed and you will be a moderate drinker and off the blow and out with a new group of friends that don't party. The booze and desire to get drunk and high will be with you always. It followed me into a marriage and successful career and parenthood.
Go with what feels good. Based on what you say in your post, you like to get high. That typically doesn't translate well to moderation but give it a shot. Know that all of the benders you have had and will continue to have are going to come at the expense of time you could have been spending doing something else so much cooler. Careful you don't let a decade go by.
One other fact that I wish I would have heard when I was out partying is that you will not wake up in a few years and suddenly life will have changed and you will be a moderate drinker and off the blow and out with a new group of friends that don't party. The booze and desire to get drunk and high will be with you always. It followed me into a marriage and successful career and parenthood.
Last edited by redheadinus; 03-02-2015 at 11:10 PM. Reason: reread whole post
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