Lscotty1

Hi guys,
I'm pretty sure I'm having a pity party. i've been crying thinking about my kids, thinking about how they deserve a better mother and how sad it is that they got stuck with me. I don't know how to shake it or get it out of my head. Then there's also the fact that it's true. I can't shake the feeling that it's too late for me. I keep thinking that my liver is probably shot, and then I'll probably be dead in six months. Feeling so stupid for doing this to myself and my family. I just want a life. I am scared and sad and crazy. I don't want to sit here and feel bad for myself. I need to get out of this.... I feel trapped and helpless. I'm sorry to sound so pathetic. Really is pathetic...
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

ccam1973

LS, your feelings are normal for people with our problem. You aren't alone. Your body and emotions are just getting used to life without alcohol.

Congratulations on day 10!!! That's a great accomplishment.

You've got the power to take your life back. 10 days is a great start, keep up the good work. Always remember to keep your guard up.

Your kids and everyone else in your life will benefit from your efforts here. Don't beat yourself up, you can only control today. Stay sober, everything else will fall into place.

Trust me, it gets easier with time!

You can do this.

Anna

Lscotty, 10 days sober is great and you're on your way. It's not good to allow the shame and guilt to overwhelm you. I've been there and I know it can lead you back to drinking again. Since I stopped drinking, I have worked on doing whatever I can each day for my family. That is all I can do. None of us have any guarantees of health or know if we'll be here tomorrow. Try to not let that prevent you from living today.

Be proud of your decision to live a sober life.

TroyW

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time emotionally lscotty.

Maybe try thinking of it this way. For every one of you, there's probably at least 20 mothers out there who think being the "life of a party", and getting drunk all the time is perfectly acceptable, and a good example to set for their kids. So just by having the emotions you're having, you're doing a lot better than many out there.

Hope you feel better soon.

Coldfusion

Congratulations on ten days! I strongly suggest making a plan to stay sober.

My life was in a shambles from drinking, so I needed a program to get my life back together in order to stay sober. I found that in the twelve steps of AA. Your family may find benefits from going to Al Anon or Alateen meetings.

Lscotty1

Thanks guys. My kids are young fives and seven months. I was sober for four years before relapsing shortly after my second set was born. Who does this with tiny kids??? How do I make a plan to stay sober, how do I get my life back? I want everything to be fixed today, Now! But I know that's not possible it's just really hard right now

gettingsmarter

"I can't shake the feeling that it's too late for me. I keep thinking that my liver is probably shot, and then I'll probably be dead in six months."

Do you have a diagnosis of liver failure?

Lscotty1

No, I do not

MarioBee

Hi, its a good idea to get your liver tested, its a simple blood test which checks the liver function. Speak to your doctor and get it done. The liver does not usually give an indication that its basically screwed up.

I was hospitalised with liver failure due to alcohol poisoning and I was very very lucky that I caught it just in time, only a few more days of drinking would have been the end of me.

gettingsmarter

Get some sober time under your belt and you will start to see that all these thoughts you are having are probably blown way out of proportion. When I was drinking I was convinced that the end was very close and something horrible was about to happen at any sec. Alcohol for me would turn small concerns into what I thought were full blown crisis. Go to the doc and get some blood work done if you are worried. The liver can bounce back from a lot of abuse.

Lscotty1

Thanks guys, I know that I need to go face the music. I must say though, that I am the only thing that is more chicken than a chicken itself. I am so scared.

OnMyWay7

Hey there. It will be okay -

First it's okay to cry and feel bad about what's happened - but where are you right now health wise? Go to the doctors and find out what's going on. I stopped because my liver enzymes were up and ended up getting them back down to normal until now - 4 months out - my liver enzymes are back down to normal. And I'm being a better Mom and person. I'm not perfect and never will be but I'm doing my best. Right now that's all you can ask of yourself and just keep pushing forward.

MarioBee

Its only normal to be scared, most if not all of us had to face up to our fears. You will only get stronger once you take control and get rid of the alcohol once and for all.

Good luck

Lscotty1

Health wise, I am able to get up and go to pretty physically demanding job every day. I am tired.... Just feel so stupid

firstymer

You ARE getting out of this Lscotty1 - one sober day at a time.

10 days is a huge accomplishment. Build on that. You are doing great.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. You really do.

FreeOwl

ten days is a big step and an accomplishment to pat yourself on the back for.

these feelings are typical. It gets easier.

least

Congrats on ten days sober! It gets better, I promise.

Chilledice

Im on day 10 too and also have horrid thoughts running through my head! Do not worry these feelings and thoughts DO pass! YOU can control what you do today

Lscotty1

I was having really bad cravings, so I took my son for a long walk. It seems to have worked so far

neferkamichael

Lscotty1, day 10 is FANTASTIC, congratulations. It'll take time to heal, rootin for ya.