Blogs


Notices

Not sure if I should be here

Old 03-03-2015, 03:22 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cohiba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 121
@nymets86 I explained to my friends I am doing 50 days off the booze/drugs due to the new job I have coming up and also cash is tight. I was called a ***** for a bit and a bit more persuasion but luckily kept it strong I am interested to see how the rest of the 50 days go now

@redheadinus thank you for the advice. I have done the 30 days before so am confident I can stick to the work out plans and no drinking for 50 days. I think the thing that makes me keep questioning whether I have a problem is the fact that so many people my age do the exact same thing. I was talking to someone online a few days ago who said they don't think I have a problem just enjoying going out to much and everyone does the same at this age. I know the cocaine I need to knock on the head forever because that is when I am the biggest idiot and nights out turn into days binging. The alcohol I will do 50 (thinking even 60) days and review my situation then
Cohiba is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cohiba For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-03-2015), nymets86 (03-03-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 05:59 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Member
 
RunnerBean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 78
Hey Cohiba ,nice to meet you.

I've just turned 26 and can relate to many of the things you have mentioned in your post. Let me highlight a few things for you first though *that Lonely Shadow has also touched upon.* Having a stringent work out plan is great, as is having specific goals in which you are striving toward.

However, I used to box competitively, play in two football teams and hit the gym multiple times a week. However, I preferred the alcohol more than anything else. You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, and with some sober time, I believe you will adopt that mindset (and the fitness regime will extend to other pastures anew).

I feel that you should also reassess your peer group as well to be honest. Do you really want to be hanging around with MDMA/coke users into your 30s? When I was 24, I was the organiser of the lads' trip to Amsterdam! I came back being hailed as a 'legend' and all the rest of it for my ridiculous and deviant behaviour whilst I was out there. Little did my friends know that I couldn't leave the house for a week afterwards due to crushing anxiety and physical meltdown. I get the impression that you're like me and my former peer group, which makes me cringe *sorry about that*

Apologies if some of my points are a little direct, but I see myself in you, and I was the biggest idiot when I was drunk that you could ever imagine.

I'm rooting for you!
RunnerBean is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to RunnerBean For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-03-2015), Cowgirlie (03-03-2015), LonelyShadow (03-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (03-05-2015), nymets86 (03-03-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 06:18 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by RunnerBean View Post
I came back being hailed as a 'legend' and all the rest of it for my ridiculous and deviant behaviour whilst I was out there. Little did my friends know that I couldn't leave the house for a week afterwards due to crushing anxiety and physical meltdown.
You hit the nail on the head here! This was 100% the case for me in college and then well into my 20s. Lots of stuff that I did was just mortifying to me and I was so ashamed of my behavior, but my friends would talk about it like I was the man. It's still true even now at 29 years old, though to a lesser extent as people are starting to grow up, but it happens from time to time.
nymets86 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to nymets86 For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (04-18-2015), LonelyShadow (03-04-2015), MelindaFlowers (03-05-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 01:36 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cowgirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Mediterranean
Posts: 187
Blog Entries: 5
Originally Posted by redheadinus View Post
One other fact that I wish I would have heard when I was out partying is that you will not wake up in a few years and suddenly life will have changed and you will be a moderate drinker and off the blow and out with a new group of friends that don't party. The booze and desire to get drunk and high will be with you always. It followed me into a marriage and successful career and parenthood.
Ohhhhh... this! ^^


Hey I've followed the thread and just wanted to say and best of luck to you. Well done on dodging the Amsterdam trip so far. Nobody can force you to get on that plane! It's great you have an initial plan and feel motivated. Jeez the drugs terrify me as I have often said that I know for a fact if I'd tried any I would be a regular user and in big trouble due to how I am with alcohol (and erm, Haribo actually lol)

Will be checking in on your progress! x
Cowgirlie is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Cowgirlie For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-03-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 01:38 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cowgirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Mediterranean
Posts: 187
Blog Entries: 5
PS: Your avatar! For goodness sake don't watch that film in the next 50 days! I love it but find it incredibly triggering lol
Cowgirlie is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Cowgirlie For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (04-18-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 01:57 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cohiba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 121
@Runnerbean thanks the fitness plan is what I am trying to throw myself into just got back from a 3.75 mile run round the block and going to try and relax and watch a film. I am not sure if I would want to completely drop my friend group as not all of them regularly do drugs or drink alcohol just a few people in the group. I would also say currently I cant think of any people around my age that don't do some sort of drugs whether it be weed/mdma/coke or whatever (this includes old school friends,work friends,gym friends) I think here (Brighton) has a high drug usage and its just something everything has grown up around. Cheers for rooting for me

@nymets out of interest when you decided to go sober did you continue to go out with the same social group or avoid them? I am currently trying to just stay in contact with the ones that don't drink regularly or do any drugs until I sort myself out but would be interested to know what you did

@cowgirlie Thank you for following I am happy about the Amsterdam trip as well, I think the problem out there is the drugs for me that's the worse bit the alcohol leads to the drugs and it keeps me going at the weekend we were picking up at 9am then continuing throughout the day. Thanks trust me I won't be watching that film for a while
Cohiba is offline  
Old 03-03-2015, 02:48 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,561
Hi Cohiba, I've been reading your posts. Many, many years ago I was a similar boat. My group of friends (and myself) were up to all kinds of no good. They were all primarily suppliers, which of course made consumption unlimited and free. Eventually it had to come to an end. I was the first to drop out, and the only way I succeeded was to eliminate every one of them in my circle for about a year and half. Doesn't sound like it has to be that way in your situation, but I really have to hand it to you for knowing that its time for a change. I hope you can follow through with it as I'm sure its difficult.
thomas11 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (04-18-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 03:25 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,438
It's great to meet you Cohiba.

Most of the good stuff's already been said I see. I'm another of those who tried desperately to moderate & ended up totally dependent on it later in life. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it does to you - how despite your best intentions, you end up doing unplanned & dangerous things. I wish I'd questioned my behavior decades before I finally did.

You're never alone Cohiba - I'm happy you found us.
Hevyn is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-04-2015)
Old 03-03-2015, 06:40 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Cohiba, I'm just finishing up Day 13, so I don't really have much of a track record. I'm in the same spot as you right now about figuring out what to do with my social groups. One thing not in my equation is coke. There's a lot of pot, and while I like pot, it's not exactly my favorite. With that said, my feeling as I've moved along in my 20s is that my friends are getting more and more responsible, and I'm not. At some point, I'd like to tell a group of my closest friends that I'm quitting. I've already bowed out of a birthday party this weekend that I wanted to attend, but thats too much too soon. Maybe in a few months, I'll be comfortable going to something like that and just enjoying being with friends as they get buzzed. Not them being buzzed and me getting trashed.

Also, there are some friends I have through work that I think I need to stop hanging out with as it leads to lots of really drunken nights. We don't see each other for anything other than boozing.

My friends that I ski, golf, go to ballgames, go to the movies with, go bowling with, etc, those are the friends I want to keep, but just steer clear of the social events strictly about boozing.
nymets86 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to nymets86 For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-04-2015)
Old 03-04-2015, 02:33 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cohiba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 121
@hevyn thank you, I am hoping to start moderating things after this 50 (maybe 60) day stint I am planning. I am enjoying the chance to forget about alcohol and start to focus on some things I want to do for self development at the weekend. I know there is a chance I should quit the alcohol for good but I am 25 and I just want to give the moderation drinking a shot. I have here now though for support

@nymets86 that is why I am doing this 50 day sober as well, I have started to notice a lot of my group growing up and becoming more sensible focusing on careers etc. I am hoping to be in the same boat and then can enjoy the occasional drink and not be left behind with the wreckhead crew. I know the coke is the biggest problem for me and that is completely out the question. I am going to my friends this Friday, he knows that I am not drinking for the time being so we are getting a pizza and some non alcoholic beers. Looking forward to a hangover free weekend Congrats on day 13 man
Cohiba is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cohiba For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-04-2015), LonelyShadow (03-04-2015)
Old 03-04-2015, 02:41 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 24
If you can't stop like everyone else does, you belong here. Your choice is if you want to have this same thought and do these same things over and over again for years. I wish I had nipped this crap in the bud at your age, because then I wouldn't have had so many years of regrets, anger and mayhem. You belong here if you can't control your drinking all the time. Moderate drinkers rarely, if ever, even get tipsy.
Drunkwriter is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Drunkwriter For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (04-18-2015)
Old 03-04-2015, 06:05 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Cohiba, not sure why you even want to bother with the NA beers. I've been trying to make club soda a habit. Not going to go out to bars and find NA beers (at least I don't think). I think it's probably good you're going out and being social while being sober. I got a month sober last year, but was a shut in mostly.

I've not gone out to any bars during this now two-week old stint, but been at 3 dinners where people were drinking, went skiing where my friends all had a few beers afterwards and have just made a point of trying to act like nothing is different.

its a lot more scary to think of saying No to my friends forever. Certainly hard to say it to booze, but a ton easier than my friends, so I'm trying to be with them as much as possible, but just avoid the events that focus on drinking.

Drunkwriter, I sort of disagree with your last statement. I think moderate drinkers do often get tipsy. When they do, they stop tho. And they don't drive. And they don't make an arse of themselves
nymets86 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to nymets86 For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-05-2015), Cowgirlie (03-06-2015), Dee74 (03-05-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 12:56 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Member
 
LonelyShadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 807
The thing I found about 'non-alcoholic' beers is that there's still 0.05% alcohol in them, obviously not enough to get drunk but it did seem to make cravings so, so much more severe.

Pepsi is my go to drink of choice when socialising. I laughed out loud when I was drinking like my 5th can of Pepsi Max of the evening and a drunken friend who'd had about 8 ciders said "You know the sweeteners in that are bad for you?"

Haha!
LonelyShadow is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to LonelyShadow For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-05-2015), Cowgirlie (03-06-2015), Dee74 (03-05-2015), INgal (03-05-2015), kk1k5x (03-05-2015), MelindaFlowers (03-05-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 01:38 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
LonelyShadow, I guess it's true that you have to pick your poison. I think it's pretty clear Pepsi Max, while agreeably probably poison, is 100x better for your body and mental well being than booze tho!
nymets86 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to nymets86 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-05-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 04:11 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Originally Posted by LonelyShadow View Post
The thing I found about 'non-alcoholic' beers is that there's still 0.05% alcohol in them, obviously not enough to get drunk but it did seem to make cravings so, so much more severe. Pepsi is my go to drink of choice when socialising. I laughed out loud when I was drinking like my 5th can of Pepsi Max of the evening and a drunken friend who'd had about 8 ciders said "You know the sweeteners in that are bad for you?" Haha!
This very thing happened to me this week. A guy who was 4 beers in told me my drinking soda was bad for me. (which it is but it won't kill my liver)
Tang is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tang For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-05-2015), LonelyShadow (03-06-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 07:36 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cohiba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 121
@drunkwriter I also know a lot of moderate drinkers or get a lot more then tipsy on occasions but that would be special occasions instead of every weekend and usually end up in bed by 1/2am instead of three days later like yours truly.

@nymets86 the reason why is I actually enjoy the taste of beer, I don't always drink beer to get drunk I actually enjoy the taste, and also I think it would just help me to think about it less when I am out say like this Friday when at my friends house playing the PS4 everyone will be having a couple I think if I had non alcoholic beers it would help me think about drinking less...sounds odd not sure if that makes sense?

@lonleyshadow I have just made a new thread about that it really ****** me off wish I had seen this post before I went to the shop. I brought some non alcohol beers 'sainsburys czech lager' and 'becks blue' and now I am at home have seen they have 0.5% alcohol so don't know if I would class that as cheating or not? I asked them in sainsburys and they said non alcohol...but the amount it would take to get drunk I am not sure. I cant drink coke after coke that's another reason I want them haha.

@Tang Unfortunately I have done that before been necking beers and taken the mick out of a friend for drinking coke after coke that his teeth will rot. Really makes you think when you take a step back
Cohiba is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cohiba For This Useful Post:
Cowgirlie (03-06-2015), LonelyShadow (03-06-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 07:46 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,007
Blog Entries: 2
Cohiba, N/A beer has about as much alcohol as orange juice. Drinking may be a trigger for some and it is frowned upon by the stalwarts of abstinence. The reason the list it as 0.5% alcohol is for legal reasons. Orange juice is not considered a "drink" so it does not have to post it's alcohol content.

Try clausthaler or buckler...
LBrain is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LBrain For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-06-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 07:49 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 24
If you look at the guidelines for alcohol consumption, a few beers is usually the norm for moderate drinkers and no, they don't get too tipsy. If people get tipsy, to me they aren't moderate drinkers. I understand many disagree with this, but I live with a moderate drinker and he has rarely, if ever, even had a buzz. A beer or two over a really long period time is moderate according to guidelines. Many abuse alcohol by varying degrees, but it is abused if one is impaired in any way by it. A buzz, or being tipsy, is being impaired.
Drunkwriter is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Drunkwriter For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (04-18-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 07:59 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,167
I tried the NA beer method to cut back some time ago. Didn't work for me, probably because part of it was about the ritual of drinking - taking the bottle, taking a sip, putting the bottle back etc.
Used to think drinking NA beers was similar to taking a shower with your clothes on - you do get wet, but achieve nothing in terms of what you went there to do. Think it's different for people, for me, the cravings would skyrocket
kk1k5x is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to kk1k5x For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-06-2015)
Old 03-05-2015, 08:40 AM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Originally Posted by Cohiba View Post
@nymets86 the reason why is I actually enjoy the taste of beer, I don't always drink beer to get drunk I actually enjoy the taste, and also I think it would just help me to think about it less when I am out say like this Friday when at my friends house playing the PS4 everyone will be having a couple I think if I had non alcoholic beers it would help me think about drinking less...sounds odd not sure if that makes sense?
I really like the taste of craft beers too, but I think I've used that often as a guise for drinking more....."Ohhhh, I haven't tried THIS one yet, I'll have another one!" Then still not drunk enough, I'll pull the same stunt and order something else.

I've not had NA beer, but my guess is it tastes like Bud Light or Michelob Ultra, which suck. That's sort of what I was basing my comment on. It just sort of seems like I'd be teasing myself and opening up a can of worms that I don't want to. The moderation thing isn't working for me, so I'm trying to make club soda a habit as it is readily available at every bar/restaurant/etc and I know I like the way it tastes.

I know you are dealing with two substances, so maybe alcohol really isn't the one you are battling and it is just the coke. If that's true, then maybe you can successfully moderate and get away with NA beer and going back to drinking reasonably. It does seem like playing with fire though.

For myself, I used to smoke pot heavily and now smoke once in awhile. I don't have a problem with it and can enjoy it responsibly. I wish that was how I was with booze, but it's not. For the time being, I'm steering clear of pot all together since it kind of goes hand in hand with drinking and I've done them together on countless occasions. I don't have any fears in the future of never smoking again, but I do with booze. Proves to me that booze is the real addiction. It seems to me, however, that you are struggling with the decision of NA beer, and if that's something that could lead down the road to getting drunk and coked up, then why risk it?
nymets86 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nymets86 For This Useful Post:
Cohiba (03-06-2015), kk1k5x (03-05-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:27 PM.