Cohiba

@nymets86 I explained to my friends I am doing 50 days off the booze/drugs due to the new job I have coming up and also cash is tight. I was called a ***** for a bit and a bit more persuasion but luckily kept it strong I am interested to see how the rest of the 50 days go now

@redheadinus thank you for the advice. I have done the 30 days before so am confident I can stick to the work out plans and no drinking for 50 days. I think the thing that makes me keep questioning whether I have a problem is the fact that so many people my age do the exact same thing. I was talking to someone online a few days ago who said they don't think I have a problem just enjoying going out to much and everyone does the same at this age. I know the cocaine I need to knock on the head forever because that is when I am the biggest idiot and nights out turn into days binging. The alcohol I will do 50 (thinking even 60) days and review my situation then

RunnerBean

Hey Cohiba ,nice to meet you.

I've just turned 26 and can relate to many of the things you have mentioned in your post. Let me highlight a few things for you first though *that Lonely Shadow has also touched upon.* Having a stringent work out plan is great, as is having specific goals in which you are striving toward.

However, I used to box competitively, play in two football teams and hit the gym multiple times a week. However, I preferred the alcohol more than anything else. You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, and with some sober time, I believe you will adopt that mindset (and the fitness regime will extend to other pastures anew).

I feel that you should also reassess your peer group as well to be honest. Do you really want to be hanging around with MDMA/coke users into your 30s? When I was 24, I was the organiser of the lads' trip to Amsterdam! I came back being hailed as a 'legend' and all the rest of it for my ridiculous and deviant behaviour whilst I was out there. Little did my friends know that I couldn't leave the house for a week afterwards due to crushing anxiety and physical meltdown. I get the impression that you're like me and my former peer group, which makes me cringe *sorry about that*

Apologies if some of my points are a little direct, but I see myself in you, and I was the biggest idiot when I was drunk that you could ever imagine.

I'm rooting for you!

nymets86

You hit the nail on the head here! This was 100% the case for me in college and then well into my 20s. Lots of stuff that I did was just mortifying to me and I was so ashamed of my behavior, but my friends would talk about it like I was the man. It's still true even now at 29 years old, though to a lesser extent as people are starting to grow up, but it happens from time to time.

Cowgirlie

Ohhhhh... this! ^^


Hey I've followed the thread and just wanted to say and best of luck to you. Well done on dodging the Amsterdam trip so far. Nobody can force you to get on that plane! It's great you have an initial plan and feel motivated. Jeez the drugs terrify me as I have often said that I know for a fact if I'd tried any I would be a regular user and in big trouble due to how I am with alcohol (and erm, Haribo actually lol)

Will be checking in on your progress! x

Cowgirlie

PS: Your avatar! For goodness sake don't watch that film in the next 50 days! I love it but find it incredibly triggering lol

Cohiba

@Runnerbean thanks the fitness plan is what I am trying to throw myself into just got back from a 3.75 mile run round the block and going to try and relax and watch a film. I am not sure if I would want to completely drop my friend group as not all of them regularly do drugs or drink alcohol just a few people in the group. I would also say currently I cant think of any people around my age that don't do some sort of drugs whether it be weed/mdma/coke or whatever (this includes old school friends,work friends,gym friends) I think here (Brighton) has a high drug usage and its just something everything has grown up around. Cheers for rooting for me

@nymets out of interest when you decided to go sober did you continue to go out with the same social group or avoid them? I am currently trying to just stay in contact with the ones that don't drink regularly or do any drugs until I sort myself out but would be interested to know what you did

@cowgirlie Thank you for following I am happy about the Amsterdam trip as well, I think the problem out there is the drugs for me that's the worse bit the alcohol leads to the drugs and it keeps me going at the weekend we were picking up at 9am then continuing throughout the day. Thanks trust me I won't be watching that film for a while

thomas11

Hi Cohiba, I've been reading your posts. Many, many years ago I was a similar boat. My group of friends (and myself) were up to all kinds of no good. They were all primarily suppliers, which of course made consumption unlimited and free. Eventually it had to come to an end. I was the first to drop out, and the only way I succeeded was to eliminate every one of them in my circle for about a year and half. Doesn't sound like it has to be that way in your situation, but I really have to hand it to you for knowing that its time for a change. I hope you can follow through with it as I'm sure its difficult.

Hevyn

It's great to meet you Cohiba.

Most of the good stuff's already been said I see. I'm another of those who tried desperately to moderate & ended up totally dependent on it later in life. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it does to you - how despite your best intentions, you end up doing unplanned & dangerous things. I wish I'd questioned my behavior decades before I finally did.

You're never alone Cohiba - I'm happy you found us.

nymets86

Cohiba, I'm just finishing up Day 13, so I don't really have much of a track record. I'm in the same spot as you right now about figuring out what to do with my social groups. One thing not in my equation is coke. There's a lot of pot, and while I like pot, it's not exactly my favorite. With that said, my feeling as I've moved along in my 20s is that my friends are getting more and more responsible, and I'm not. At some point, I'd like to tell a group of my closest friends that I'm quitting. I've already bowed out of a birthday party this weekend that I wanted to attend, but thats too much too soon. Maybe in a few months, I'll be comfortable going to something like that and just enjoying being with friends as they get buzzed. Not them being buzzed and me getting trashed.

Also, there are some friends I have through work that I think I need to stop hanging out with as it leads to lots of really drunken nights. We don't see each other for anything other than boozing.

My friends that I ski, golf, go to ballgames, go to the movies with, go bowling with, etc, those are the friends I want to keep, but just steer clear of the social events strictly about boozing.

Cohiba

@hevyn thank you, I am hoping to start moderating things after this 50 (maybe 60) day stint I am planning. I am enjoying the chance to forget about alcohol and start to focus on some things I want to do for self development at the weekend. I know there is a chance I should quit the alcohol for good but I am 25 and I just want to give the moderation drinking a shot. I have here now though for support

@nymets86 that is why I am doing this 50 day sober as well, I have started to notice a lot of my group growing up and becoming more sensible focusing on careers etc. I am hoping to be in the same boat and then can enjoy the occasional drink and not be left behind with the wreckhead crew. I know the coke is the biggest problem for me and that is completely out the question. I am going to my friends this Friday, he knows that I am not drinking for the time being so we are getting a pizza and some non alcoholic beers. Looking forward to a hangover free weekend Congrats on day 13 man

Drunkwriter

If you can't stop like everyone else does, you belong here. Your choice is if you want to have this same thought and do these same things over and over again for years. I wish I had nipped this crap in the bud at your age, because then I wouldn't have had so many years of regrets, anger and mayhem. You belong here if you can't control your drinking all the time. Moderate drinkers rarely, if ever, even get tipsy.

nymets86

Cohiba, not sure why you even want to bother with the NA beers. I've been trying to make club soda a habit. Not going to go out to bars and find NA beers (at least I don't think). I think it's probably good you're going out and being social while being sober. I got a month sober last year, but was a shut in mostly.

I've not gone out to any bars during this now two-week old stint, but been at 3 dinners where people were drinking, went skiing where my friends all had a few beers afterwards and have just made a point of trying to act like nothing is different.

its a lot more scary to think of saying No to my friends forever. Certainly hard to say it to booze, but a ton easier than my friends, so I'm trying to be with them as much as possible, but just avoid the events that focus on drinking.

Drunkwriter, I sort of disagree with your last statement. I think moderate drinkers do often get tipsy. When they do, they stop tho. And they don't drive. And they don't make an arse of themselves

LonelyShadow

The thing I found about 'non-alcoholic' beers is that there's still 0.05% alcohol in them, obviously not enough to get drunk but it did seem to make cravings so, so much more severe.

Pepsi is my go to drink of choice when socialising. I laughed out loud when I was drinking like my 5th can of Pepsi Max of the evening and a drunken friend who'd had about 8 ciders said "You know the sweeteners in that are bad for you?"

Haha!

nymets86

LonelyShadow, I guess it's true that you have to pick your poison. I think it's pretty clear Pepsi Max, while agreeably probably poison, is 100x better for your body and mental well being than booze tho!

Tang

This very thing happened to me this week. A guy who was 4 beers in told me my drinking soda was bad for me. (which it is but it won't kill my liver)

Cohiba

@drunkwriter I also know a lot of moderate drinkers or get a lot more then tipsy on occasions but that would be special occasions instead of every weekend and usually end up in bed by 1/2am instead of three days later like yours truly.

@nymets86 the reason why is I actually enjoy the taste of beer, I don't always drink beer to get drunk I actually enjoy the taste, and also I think it would just help me to think about it less when I am out say like this Friday when at my friends house playing the PS4 everyone will be having a couple I think if I had non alcoholic beers it would help me think about drinking less...sounds odd not sure if that makes sense?

@lonleyshadow I have just made a new thread about that it really ****** me off wish I had seen this post before I went to the shop. I brought some non alcohol beers 'sainsburys czech lager' and 'becks blue' and now I am at home have seen they have 0.5% alcohol so don't know if I would class that as cheating or not? I asked them in sainsburys and they said non alcohol...but the amount it would take to get drunk I am not sure. I cant drink coke after coke that's another reason I want them haha.

@Tang Unfortunately I have done that before been necking beers and taken the mick out of a friend for drinking coke after coke that his teeth will rot. Really makes you think when you take a step back

LBrain

Cohiba, N/A beer has about as much alcohol as orange juice. Drinking may be a trigger for some and it is frowned upon by the stalwarts of abstinence. The reason the list it as 0.5% alcohol is for legal reasons. Orange juice is not considered a "drink" so it does not have to post it's alcohol content.

Try clausthaler or buckler...

Drunkwriter

If you look at the guidelines for alcohol consumption, a few beers is usually the norm for moderate drinkers and no, they don't get too tipsy. If people get tipsy, to me they aren't moderate drinkers. I understand many disagree with this, but I live with a moderate drinker and he has rarely, if ever, even had a buzz. A beer or two over a really long period time is moderate according to guidelines. Many abuse alcohol by varying degrees, but it is abused if one is impaired in any way by it. A buzz, or being tipsy, is being impaired.

kk1k5x

I tried the NA beer method to cut back some time ago. Didn't work for me, probably because part of it was about the ritual of drinking - taking the bottle, taking a sip, putting the bottle back etc.
Used to think drinking NA beers was similar to taking a shower with your clothes on - you do get wet, but achieve nothing in terms of what you went there to do. Think it's different for people, for me, the cravings would skyrocket

nymets86

I really like the taste of craft beers too, but I think I've used that often as a guise for drinking more....."Ohhhh, I haven't tried THIS one yet, I'll have another one!" Then still not drunk enough, I'll pull the same stunt and order something else.

I've not had NA beer, but my guess is it tastes like Bud Light or Michelob Ultra, which suck. That's sort of what I was basing my comment on. It just sort of seems like I'd be teasing myself and opening up a can of worms that I don't want to. The moderation thing isn't working for me, so I'm trying to make club soda a habit as it is readily available at every bar/restaurant/etc and I know I like the way it tastes.

I know you are dealing with two substances, so maybe alcohol really isn't the one you are battling and it is just the coke. If that's true, then maybe you can successfully moderate and get away with NA beer and going back to drinking reasonably. It does seem like playing with fire though.

For myself, I used to smoke pot heavily and now smoke once in awhile. I don't have a problem with it and can enjoy it responsibly. I wish that was how I was with booze, but it's not. For the time being, I'm steering clear of pot all together since it kind of goes hand in hand with drinking and I've done them together on countless occasions. I don't have any fears in the future of never smoking again, but I do with booze. Proves to me that booze is the real addiction. It seems to me, however, that you are struggling with the decision of NA beer, and if that's something that could lead down the road to getting drunk and coked up, then why risk it?