nymets86

Cohiba, I sort of went down this path last summer after I had 30 days sober. Got caught up in the World Cup excitement, drank some, was kinda mad at myself for doing it, but felt it was a huge positive I didn't get wasted and do anything stupid. I then convinced myself that I could moderate like that all the time and well, it didn't work.

Sounds like that was a tough situation not to drink. It is good that you cut yourself off. Do you think you can say no to that first shot next time? Or do you think you'll go along with the plan of stopping like you did this go around?

I think you need to ask yourself those questions. I wish I had last summer.

I also didn't come on this board after my first time drinking after 30 days, so good job coming here and posting and talking about it.

Cohiba

Ok so I am starting completely fresh again had the slip up during the week as posted on here and then thought **** it I am going to drink Friday evening long story short ended up doing cocaine again and boozing it up

I didnt make an arse of myself and limited my drinking but did do cocaine so am pissed off with myself.

So anyway back to day one sober.

LonelyShadow

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off, learn from the mistake and carry on with your head held high.

Take a look at the situation that made you change your mind and start drinking again, what will you do differently next time? I think it's great that you're back here ready to go at it again, stay strong my friend

scaredofchange

good luck!!

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thenewguy

It is going to be very difficult to succeed long-term unless you are willing to completely change your friends and surroundings which lead you to temptation.

It isn't going to be enough just go to the pub or hang out and simply not drink. This is a complete Life Reboot if you are committed to living clean and sober.

Also please be very careful with mixing coke and booze. Alcohol intensifies the toxicity of cocaine. I know two friends, brothers, who each suffered strokes from partying frequently with this combo. It is very dangerous stuff, and I hope you can finally step away, for your health.

Kind regards.

nymets86

When I starting drinking again after a month off, the same thing happened. I didn't make an arse of myself. That tricked me into thinking I could drink in moderation, but it didn't take long for me to be right back into my same habits of just drinking way too much and regretting it the next day.

Don't make the same mistake I made last time and wait over 7 months to try getting sober again, during which time I had two really bad drinking episodes.

Cohiba

Cheers guys today is day one clean for me again looking forward to seeing how long it lasts this time. I know that slip up with work was the huge trigger I felt as if I had wasted my 12 days sober so who cares if I have another binge but unfortunately the coke came back into play and that's where things go downhill rapidly with me.

I have managed to plan out my next two weekends away from alcohol related activities which will help and I need to keep coming on here, I found that towards the end my activity on here dropped and that also caused me to relapse as I wasn't talking to others who had stopped the drinking.

I really appreciate the messages from all you guys, it really means a lot. Thanks

thomas11

hi Cohiba, sounds like a rough weekend. I can't offer to much advice as I'm dealing with my own issues. But I support everything you can do to clean up the mess and get through weekends.

nymets86

Cohiba, in my case, posting on here daily just helps me be a little bit more accountable. Same with keeping track of the days and making a point to spend a few minutes every morning thinking about how much better it feels not to have a hangover or regret my actions from the night before (at least actions that happened when I was drunk).

I'm single and live by myself, so I'm not really accountable to anybody and I think coming on here helps, so I think you have the right mindset

Cohiba

cheers guys the problem I am having at the moment is that was now four days ago so the hangover etc has long gone but I am feeling so down, last week when decided to stop felt on top of the world but at the moment just feel tired and ****. I was so close to stopping at the shop on the way home to buy beers but opted for ciggies instead but felt no achievement from it.

I hope the happy to stop drinking feeling comes back soon or I can see myself failing again.

Soberwolf

Have you got a sober plan cohiba

Cohiba

I did at first then failed after 11/12 days and havnt been arsed to make a new one to review what made me fail, I am just feeling so **** at the moment it seems pointless.

Carlotta

I think you already accomplished something important Cohiba.
Originally you posted
You were planning on not drinking for 50 days but you could not and drank so this answers you original query: you are not an idiot but you are an alcoholic like us period.
Non alcoholics can easily go 50 days not drinking whether they are bright or idiots.
You could not.
The good news is that I read some of your posts and that you definitely are not an idiot!
Now knowing that you are an alcoholic and cannot drink safely, it's time for you to formulate a long term plan and tackle it.

You can do it

doggonecarl

I think if folks waited until they were happy to stop, the boards here on SR would be pretty empty.

The despair you feel just four days into your second stint at sobriety should tell you how much you belong here. As Carlotta so wisely pointed out, non-alcoholics aren't miserable because they can't drink.

nymets86

Just view it the other way....you succeeded for 11/12 days. Use some of the skills learned during that run and use them in the new plan.

Unfortunately, the emotional highs and lows are par for the course. For me, the highs are actually harder not to drink, sorta like you described with the work event last week. The problem is, like you, that little bit of dabbling leads to much worse and stuff I regret that's makes me depressed.

Even if im totally sober, I go through highs and lows where I'm lonely and depressed. At the very least though, I'm not regretting my actions while drunk and trying to remember what the heck I'd done.

Don't let the slip ups turn into a full on slide in to your old habits. That happened to me last summer and I'm not going to lie, I'm afraid it is going to happen again. I'm committed to being sober, but can't wrap my mind around the thought of never partying with booze again. I'm doing all that I can to stop it though. Posting here is a good start

Soberwolf

Go at things again cohiba reinforce a new plan

nymets86

Chohiba, I know it's around lunchtime on Thursday for you now. What's your plan for a sober weekend to get back on track?

HopingForZen

Cohiba, your posts sound like I could have written them when I was 25. I've tried moderating for years. I'm 40, and finally have taken the lifelong challenge. So right now I'm on Day 48, but I wish so very much that I was on year 15 of sobriety. You have that chance! Good for you that you are catching it now. Stopping in your twenties will give you a lot more productive years when you are younger and more energy to accomplish your dreams!

Dee74

I agree with the others - the longer you 'free fall' the harder it will be to stop.
Grab onto something and stop your fall.

D

Cohiba

So it has finally happened I can finally say what you all have been saying since day one

I HAVE A PROBLEM

This weekend I have been out of control drunk out my brains and sniffed off my face. I have been waffling to people, spending huge amounts of money and causing arguments just to name a few things.

I thought I could hand,e my drink as I was doing well with the non drinking, I thought I could control myself but I obviously cant. I am now giving up booze for good and there will be no ifs or buts I am deadly serious, its not like I made an arse of myself this weekend when ****** but now can see how little control I have.