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Not sure if I should be here

Old 03-05-2015, 09:38 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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I have stopped for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, 25 days, 50 days, 75 days... And each time I drank after those times it ALWAYS lead to me drinking like I did before. It always started at moderation once a week just a few drinks, to a few times a week with more drinks, then it all went out the window.

I dont want to generalize, people who post here (no matter how good the intentions are) cant moderate. It doesnt make them bad people, its just something that WE cant do. Many of us have tried, failed, tried again, and failed again. Whats the quote? Insanity is trying to the same thing over and over again expecting different results?

Kind of sucks at first to realize, "Hey I can never drink again" but its actually a good feeling once you get over that and start living your sober life.

No hangovers, no feeling like **** when you wake up, no drunken mistakes, no DUIs, not jailtime, no friends using you for your connections...

Best of luck to you and your decisions you make. Wish you the best for the next 50 days and even after that. I hope you realize you can do more than 50 days.
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Old 03-06-2015, 12:48 PM
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First for everyone following yes I went to a pub met some friends and had two cokes which got boring very quickly so thought **** it and ordered a non alcohol beer (cobra zero) drunk it and it was really nice (as said enjoy the taste of beer), it didn't make me think oh **** I need a real drink now it just helped me feel like less of an outsider and didn't make me feel sick like the coke did. Everyone ended up going to a bar to pick up some coke and continue getting ******, I came home got in bed and am about to watch a film. I honestly think it helped take my mind off not drinking sitting there not feeling like an outsider....anyway maybe thats just me

@Lbrain yeah the barmaid mentioned it it might have 0.5% if that in it but she said its so low they are legally allowed to sell them to kids.

@kkik5 cheers I will see how this goes but first dealing with NA beer gone well

@nymets86 cheers for all the help man. I do think the coke is probably the main problem even earlier when they kept going to the toilet for a key it made me want some even though I wasn't drunk, I think the alcohol in time I can control but I am sticking to the 50 days and probably extend it to 65 and review then. The NA beer didnt taste too bad, my problem is I hate all soft drinks (except diet coke cherry which no where serves) they make me feel sick after two so need something to drink when socialising.

@jryan19982 thanks for the post I honestly dont know what situation I am in now and need to take it one day at a time, everyone is different and I have heard so many different ways people have tackled the problems they have. I am loving the fact though I will wake up tomorrow with no hangover, blocked nose and a 0 bank balance. Thanks for posting
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Old 03-06-2015, 01:38 PM
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Hey Cohiba....I applaud you for coming home and not going to another bar. I can't handle the bar scene because I know for a fact I would eventually give in and drink.
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Old 03-06-2015, 01:44 PM
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Cohiba, I don't really like soft drinks either, hence the club soda (which is called just sparking water I guess in the UK)

Glad that u were able to find the NA beer and like the way it tastes. For me, the plan is to stick with club soda since its zero calories and unless someone hears u ordering it, they'll think ur drinking a vodka/soda, vodka/tonic, gin/soda, gin/tonic, etc.

As you said with the NA beer making u not feeling like an outsider, that's what I'm trying to do with club soda. I'm still steering clear of bars for the time being, but I know that I can't avoid them forever and not feel like a hermit. And given my job involves sales, events happen at bars.

Enjoy your sober Friday night!
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Old 03-06-2015, 01:47 PM
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Good work man!

Saturday morning is when you really feel the benefit
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Old 03-06-2015, 02:17 PM
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WELL DONE YOU!
Great job on just coming home!

I had NA beer while pregnant but just didn't really like the taste. Having said that it was enough to make me 'feel' like I was having some kinda 'treat' and take the edge off. Mind you I'm too nervous about trying this with wine as I think it would lead me to crave. All trial and error. Great that you survived your own experiment!

PS: love that your target has crept from 50 to 60 and now 65

You can do this x
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Old 03-06-2015, 02:39 PM
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Cohiba,

Technically I am closer to a moron than an idiot - but, I am curious either way and not all that bright.

So, is your plan to not drink for 50-60 days, stay away from drugs - including cocaine - not go to Amsterdam for a drug/alcohol binge weekend with 15 of your closest friends - somewhere in here start a new job - and after the 50-60 days revaluate your life style as it relates to alcohol and drugs thinking moderation might be the new plan??????


Just trying to figure out where we are at this point......

Glad you're here~!
Keep coming back......
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:40 PM
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@twal cheers I am avoiding the bar scene as well only reason I went this evening as it was a leaving party for a close friend, but Saturday night for me is staying in couldn't do that again for a while.

@nymets86 good idea with the sparkling water might try that next time I have to be in a bar but same thing I work in sales and a lot of meetings happen or lead to bars/restaurants so need something to drink whilst there. cheers hope you enjoy your sober night also also

@lonleyshadow cheers I cant wait to wake up feeling good on a Saturday I do think I am going to struggle with what to do, most my days off have been spent laying in bed feeling sorry for myself waiting til the afternoon to crack open a few beers and prepare myself for the evening.

@cowgirlie thank you I wanted to try the bar scene sober and am happy I actually made it home

@flynbuy haha no worries this thread has gone on for a while and has loads of information so is getting confusing lol to recap drugs I want to stay away from forever especially cocaine that has caused huge expensive problems for me over the years, I have set myself a minimum of no drinking for 50 (now I am thinking 65) as that leads to cocaine for me and also recently I have been a prize ***** when drinking so want to slow things down, the trip to Amsterdam they have booked it now ended up 11 people booking I managed to say no to that because yes it would be a lot of drugs/alcohol, I have a new job lined up already starting in a few weeks which is another reason I am looking to lay off the drink

Yeah after the 50/60/65 or however many days not drinking I am going to sit down and have a think about things and see how my life has changed such as how much has it improved since cutting out alcohol/drugs.

I am also very glad I keep coming back and sticking to this. thanks for the message
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Old 03-07-2015, 07:36 AM
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Cohiba, how is your sober Saturday going? Have you been able to find activities on your day off from work/hangover/partying?
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:01 PM
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@nymets86 yeah it has been good thanks, today I woke up watched a movie then revised for work most the day until went in the garden and spent an hour on the heavy bag in the garden it felt so much better exercising then laying in bed feeling terrible drinking cider til I could get up. This evening went and played pool with some friends who were drinking but when they started to get drunk decided to get some food and come home hows your day/night been?
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:15 PM
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Sounds just like my life in my late teens and early twenties. I stopped drugs around 2003 and settled down to have a family. I've drunk flat out every night for over twelve years and the last 18 months, prob a little longer, I've drank a 70cl bottle of vodka every night.
I'm 31 now and almost 2 weeks dry. If I were you I'd try really hard to beat these issues now because you sound just like I used to be, and you don't wana go through the withdrawals I did. Nail it now mate!
Msg me anytime, and good luck!
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Old 03-08-2015, 05:06 AM
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Congrats Cohiba. Great show of wanting to stay sober the other night. What a great feeling waking up having not partied all night. Well done.
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Old 03-08-2015, 07:01 AM
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Cohiba, nice job staying sober while playing pool.

I've stayed sober all weekend had anice day of cross country skiing yesterday. Nice not having to deal with the physical ailments of a hangover, but even better not having to deal with the embarassment/shame/regret of what happened the night before.

Hope you are enjoying your sober Sunday
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Old 03-08-2015, 01:08 PM
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@crasfd thanks I know there is a chance I have a problem I just want to see how things go after cutting out the drugs then seeing how I am on the drink. I need to keep having plans as am very determined and will stick to things long term. cheers for the message

@redheadinus cheers it has been brilliant not being hungover this weekend. Seven days today as well

@nymets86 cheers man I am finding it easier then I thought to hang around with people drinking whilst I am sober. I know what you mean about the embarrassment/shame when you wake up not knowing what happened for me is the worse part of drinking. Hope you had a good sober weekend also.
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Old 03-09-2015, 12:40 PM
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Glad your weekend was a success and well done on over a week sober! X
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:04 PM
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I don't want to start a new thread but for everyone following this the new title is

I AM A SELL OUT LET DOWN PIECE OF ****

So I managed 12 days sober then today came as said earlier starting a new job and my new soon to be manager invited me for a get to know each other lunch. Started perfect 1pm had food drinking coke discussing my role and new markets then 6pm the team turns up and just my luck everyone of them your typical sales lads, first thing they do without asking is bring over a round of jager bombs I knew I shouldnt but my manager was watching so did it. Next thing I know its 11pm and I have drunk 4 pints they all said lets go clubbing but I made my excuses and left.

Negatives: 12 days in and I am drinking what a crock of ****. I had no will power to say no. I was easily peer pressured.

Positives: I left when they carried on drinking, I was offered more shots and refused, I am home and want to continue my non drinking even with the slip up. Didnt make a **** of myself and came across well as a laugh and a goods salesman

Thoughts please....I am hating myself now for being such a push over.

Last edited by Cohiba; 03-11-2015 at 06:06 PM. Reason: forgot a point
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:15 PM
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It bothered you Cohiba - you came here to discuss what happened - you didn't continue drinking all night. It sounds like you learned something valuable. Those old habits die hard - it takes us a while to remember we no longer drink. You had a great deal of pressure on you due to the new job and meeting your co-workers for the first time. If it happens again, you'll be better prepared. Learn - and keep walking forward. We know you can.
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Cohiba View Post
Thoughts please....I am hating myself now for being such a push over.
You titled your post, "Not sure if I should be here" What do you think now?

Putting a time limit on sobriety can provide a lot of answers...especially in the struggle. You couldn't go 60 days. I'm thinking you do belong here, and seeking sobriety for good.
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:24 PM
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Do what you know Is right, and at least you attempted to live right
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:34 PM
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Cohiba, I don't really blame you for doing what you did. Its important to get along with your co workers etc...At least your mad about it, and that's a good sign. You'll start right back up tomorrow.

By the way, believe it or not if you would have stood your ground and had not drank any alcohol when first offered, your coworkers might have razzed you a little and been bummed out but I bet in private they would have respected the sh*t out of you.
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