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Over 50 / Newly Sober - anyone else?

Old 09-11-2014, 03:06 PM
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^^^Hahaha. Wow!!
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Old 09-11-2014, 04:02 PM
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Spot on! I'm 65 and newly sober and beginning to feel like a new person inside and out. Never too late!
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Old 09-11-2014, 05:35 PM
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Like always...late to the party!

Count me in. I'm 55. Will be 2 years sober next March. Oh. And I quit smoking almost 2 months ago.

I'm feeling pretty darn great. I don't look back to much. I like looking forward. I will say though, I think for me, it's been a pretty comfortable time with the quitting things. It was rough at first but it passed. Most everyone in my life hardly drinks so it rarely crosses my mind to go back to my every night drink myself stupid. I hardly ever see alcohol anymore. I was the only drunk in my circle. Only thing my friends said was...it's about time.

I think it helps that I'm pretty comfortable in my 55 year old skin. And I don't concern myself about what other people think. That helps. It's the pay off of your 50's. Plus I really really did not want to be one of those 50 plus drunk women sitting in a bar. Even though I was from 50 to 53.5. Eee gads. Back to just look forward.

Icing on the cake is that physically, I'm feeling really good considering.

There seem to be plenty of us late bloomers here.
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Old 09-11-2014, 05:42 PM
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61 plus......quit at 60 for 8 months then slipped. Trying it again and at day 45. Blessed there have been no urges but still living in a brain fog. Spend time on my knees in thankfulness and asking for strength. Figure I must have a few good years left or surely I would have been gone long ago due to alcohol
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Old 09-11-2014, 10:05 PM
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I'm 48, which is close enough to 50 that I get a ticket to this thread...

Age-stage wise, I started drinking heavily in my 40s, after my children were grown & gone. I realize that I had "kept it together" all those years because I was parenting, and was also fueled with the energy and enthusiasm of building career.

At 42, I found myself alone - kids far away, my marriage ended, many work & life goals realized. A lost place. Alcohol filled that void.

I'm at 28 days right now. It was hard to return to the program after many years of sobriety as a young adult. I've struggled in this last year - 6 months sober, then started drinking again while traveling, then a true struggle to halt that discouraged & desperate run.

I want it. I want a community of loving friends who are exploring their sober experience on this earth - curious, open, present, aware. I want to fill my life with people who are throwing themselves into life, and who have taken off their masks. I want to be immersed in this noble and mysterious adventure, and to not have it alone...
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:46 AM
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Hi, hope you don't mind my crashing your thread but just had to give my two sense . Even though I'm not much of a drinker, I too am making critical life changes at the age of 54. Having to acknowledge my co-dependence and the problems I am facing because of my addiction has been very painful.

I wanted to share something my therapist shared with me. He said that I'm right at the critical age "54" of discovery and change. He said it used to be what was wrongly labeled as a midlife crises.

But what you correctly have is people that have lived long enough (usually between 44-55 years) that are willing to take a long hard look about their life choices and make positive changes to implement a healthier them.

He said that it doesn't generally happen younger then that because the haven't lived enough life and it generally doesn't happen older then that because they have justified and excused their behavior right through these reflective years and get to complacent to want to make the hard changes.

So My friends, We are right on tract to making better and healthier life's for our selves!! keep up the good fight.. Your worth it!!
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:54 AM
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Captain Obvious here: going through a divorce after 30+ years together isn't much fun. I'm tempted to drink now & then, just because I'm alone in the apartment and there's no one to nag at me. Well, except for my hilarious cat, who doesn't nag unless her food dish is empty. But I really don't want to experience the sheer awfulness of a hangover ever again. The last one I had scared the heck out of me because it lasted for an entire week. I was afraid I'd finally gone too far and would never regain my health.
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Old 09-12-2014, 08:12 AM
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Heartcore and JD4010 -

The amount of respect I have for both of you is incalculable. Truly recognizing that you could drink if you wanted to without a constant level of accountability from someone close by is remarkable to me. The ripples of hope this puts in others lives, and the random people you touch daily with your strength unknowingly humbles me.

At my stage, I am not sure I would have the strength. So glad you both shared where you are......helps so many others ( me )!

peace to us all
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Old 09-13-2014, 09:19 AM
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I don't know how to create a new post so I will try and ask my question here. I turn 50 tomorrow and quit a 10 year daily drinking habit of 1 to 2 bottles of wine 7 weeks ago. I know I have come a long, long way since the first weeks but I still feel I have lots of healing to do....healing of my brain chemistry and healing of my body through nutrition and supplements.

But even though most days I feel a little better...Some days I feel not so much and those days usually end up with me resting physically and mentally since any activity makes me feel physically ill/stressed/anxiety. I've been cleared by a doctor and currently being treated for anxiety disorder which I believe can be healed over time as my brain heals and I change how I react to life.

My question is for anyone who may understand the healing nature of the brain. I like to understand for myself the process that is occurring but my Google searches haven't really shed much light on it.

"As the brain heals and there are good days and bad days....what is happening during the bad days?"

I have speculated that the brain is actually doing some healing that is causing some discomfort but is actually a good thing....but I'm just guessing. ...

Does anyone know about the actual healing process? I'd be very interested to know! ☺
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Old 09-13-2014, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Newpathway View Post
I don't know how to create a new post so I will try and ask my question here. I turn 50 tomorrow and quit a 10 year daily drinking habit of 1 to 2 bottles of wine 7 weeks ago. I know I have come a long, long way since the first weeks but I still feel I have lots of healing to do....healing of my brain chemistry and healing of my body through nutrition and supplements.

But even though most days I feel a little better...Some days I feel not so much and those days usually end up with me resting physically and mentally since any activity makes me feel physically ill/stressed/anxiety. I've been cleared by a doctor and currently being treated for anxiety disorder which I believe can be healed over time as my brain heals and I change how I react to life.

My question is for anyone who may understand the healing nature of the brain. I like to understand for myself the process that is occurring but my Google searches haven't really shed much light on it.

"As the brain heals and there are good days and bad days....what is happening during the bad days?"

I have speculated that the brain is actually doing some healing that is causing some discomfort but is actually a good thing....but I'm just guessing. ...

Does anyone know about the actual healing process? I'd be very interested to know! ☺

Happy Birthday!!!!:

This is an article I found on internet. Has some good information, but again it was simply a google search ;



Brain Returning To Normal Function After Abstinence

So how long does it take to recover from alcohol brain damage? Unless there has been prolonged thiamine deficiency or liver failure leading to brain damage, a heavy drinker’s brain cells are still mostly intact – even though their brain may have shrunk temporarily due to alcohol abuse. Because alcohol doesn’t kill gray brain cells (except possibly in the parietal lobe), the bulk of an alcoholic’s cognitive ability will return after a period of abstinence or moderate drinking, and their brain size will return to normal.

Here is a list of cognitive functions and how long it takes for them to return (on average) after an alcoholic stops drinking (provided there is wet brain or heptic encephalopathy).

Return of Cognitive Functions

Acute Detox (Less than 2 weeks)
None
Early Abstinence (2 weeks – 2 months)
No longer experiencing mild confusion
Mild confusion
Reduced irritability
Reduced distractibility
Mid-Range Abstinence (2 months – 5 years)
Improved reaction times
Restored attention and concentration
Restored verbal learning ability, abstract reasoning, and short-term memory.
Long-Term Abstinence (7 years)
Restored non-verbal abstract reasoning ability
Restored mental flexibility
Restored nonverbal short-term memory
Potential improvement in Visuospatial abilities
Conclusion

Drinking heavily on a daily basis is not good for your health and can certainly lead to an early grave. It can also lead to severe healthy problems long after you’ve stopped drinking. But a lot of the information being passed around about alcohol and brain damage is outdated. This information can also be extremely disheartening to recovery alcoholics who are trying to cope with the effects of years of alcohol abuse.

The good news is that research has shown time and time again that most alcoholic brain damage can be reversed with prolonged sobriety, and even with prolonged periods of moderate drinking. Even those suffering from the early stages of Wet Brain can experience a full recovery with the right treatment and abstinence.


Sounds like HOPE!
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Old 09-13-2014, 10:03 AM
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Newpathway, I'm having a similar experience, 27 days into my new life. The anxiety used to be what caused me to start drinking again. I think of that as my AV rattling its chains for a drink. I am practicing new responses, including deep breathing through the discomfort. I visualize my AV as Gollum, chasing his Presssscious.

Happy Birthday to you! 7 weeks is awesome! You gave yourself the best gift.
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Old 09-13-2014, 10:47 AM
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Thank you Flynbuy for your birthday wishes and information. I appreciate that!!!
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Old 09-13-2014, 10:52 AM
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Thanks for your message Mims. It's comforting to share common experiences. I too have learned so much about this anxiety of mine that has likely always been there but made worse when using alcohol to soothe it. Panic and anxiety attacks have become old hat to me now that I've lived through so many and have developed the tools to deal with them. It's still not very nice when they happen though. And I know that my greatest challenge moving forward will be to change my ways....to stop being so hard on myself day to day and be more at peace in my head... btw what is AV?
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Old 09-13-2014, 11:09 AM
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Av=addict voice

It is the voice in your head, the seductive whisper which (often quite cleverly and articulately) justifies taking that first drink. It feeds on sadness & celebration, on loneliness & companionship. It is manipulative and tricksy. Imagining as a "voice" separate from your higher self or intentions allows you to counter it - whether by ignoring it, arguing logically against it, or even getting a little tricksy back.
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Old 09-13-2014, 11:46 AM
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Newpathway, if you want to create your own thread, click on the forum where you want to post it (like Newcomers to Recovery) and then near the top left hand of the listings, you'll see a button that says "New Thread" -- it's that easy! Another way to get support is to join one of the daily support groups, like the group for the month you quit -- July? -- or the One Year and Over Daily Support Club -- it's found here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-38-a-10.html

I sympathize with everyone who's quitting after many years of hard drinking. The last couple of years have been harder -- and more personally rewarding -- than any other time of my life. I think people our age -- I'm 51 btw -- have different challenges than younger people who aren't so settled in life & their ways, but we also have some advantages -- we have a better sense of what's at stake, for one thing.

This thread is a major hit! Keep it coming, beautiful people!
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Old 09-13-2014, 01:47 PM
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Well said Courage. At around 50 I think the catch phrases like time is short, life goes by so quickly etc come sharply into focus. Not so much my eyes btw...

But, the finality and a feeling of we don't get many more chance to effectuate change is more acute.

Plus our BS - O - meters are sharply honed. We know what is truly important and life becomes a lot less about stuff. At least for me. Treasure today is in development of honest, loving relationships.
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Old 09-14-2014, 07:21 AM
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I'm 58 and quit drinking at 53 after years of drinking every night.

If I didn't know how old I was, I would guess I'm about 45. I'm exercise daily and my #'s (blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.) have all moved significantly in a positive direction.

I had my annual physical last month and my Dr.'s advice to me was to "cut down on my carbs if I can." I'm a 58 year old alcoholic and people my age are starting to die of cancer and heart attacks and the best advice my Dr. can give me is to cut down on my carbs! I'm one lucky dude!

Mt point is, if I can physically recover and feel like a much younger man, so can you!
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Old 09-14-2014, 08:29 AM
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Im close 49+. 2 years sober. I still see a 16 year old in the mirror though.
Me too. I quit over 7 years ago, so I don't really fit on this thread. I drank to blackout from early teens to early 20s. Quit from early 20s to early 30s, then drank again heavily and daily until early 40s. I will be 49 next month, but most people think I'm lying. Not drinking, smoking, or eating junk really keeps me feeling good. I can outrun my much younger running partners consistently.
My partner is much younger. Most people realize there is an age difference, but no one guesses it's 20 years. Basically being a big goof, heavily tattooed, with a crazy streak and a sophomoric sense of humor confuses people in respect to my age.
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Old 09-14-2014, 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
Me too. I quit over 7 years ago, so I don't really fit on this thread. I drank to blackout from early teens to early 20s. Quit from early 20s to early 30s, then drank again heavily and daily until early 40s. I will be 49 next month, but most people think I'm lying. Not drinking, smoking, or eating junk really keeps me feeling good. I can outrun my much younger running partners consistently.
My partner is much younger. Most people realize there is an age difference, but no one guesses it's 20 years. Basically being a big goof, heavily tattooed, with a crazy streak and a sophomoric sense of humor confuses people in respect to my age.
With over 4,000 post you fit in anywhere you'd like to be!

Your experience helps all!

peace
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by JD4010 View Post
Captain Obvious here: going through a divorce after 30+ years together isn't much fun. I'm tempted to drink now & then, just because I'm alone in the apartment and there's no one to nag at me. Well, except for my hilarious cat, who doesn't nag unless her food dish is empty. But I really don't want to experience the sheer awfulness of a hangover ever again. The last one I had scared the heck out of me because it lasted for an entire week. I was afraid I'd finally gone too far and would never regain my health.
The same happened to me, vomiting bile up ... If I feel I want a beer I think of that, what a cure.
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