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Over 50 / Newly Sober - anyone else?

Old 09-10-2014, 04:11 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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I'm 59, I've been sober 18 months, life has never been better even today, the crappiest day since I became sober.
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Old 09-10-2014, 04:53 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Flynbuy View Post
This focus of age to me is kind of an issue at this point. I recall a few years back turning 50 and having 30 something folks starting to call me Sir - a lot! I too look in the mirror and while there is grey, know in my heart I will always be young.
The "SIR" word. I hate it! But I'm starting to get used to it because I hear it A LOT. Funny.

It's really bad when I come across a hot babe and thinking (like most men do) and she calls me SIR. BOOM!
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Old 09-10-2014, 06:15 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I think "sir" to me shows respect. I
guess if some one called me mam, I'd
feel old too. lol

I'll add to this wonderful group of fine
people as another oldie but goodie in
recovery.

I'll be 56 in December, a favorite time
of the yr. to celebrate another belly button
birthday with 24 yrs. sobriety I just celebrated
on August 11th. That's a many one days sober
added together to get me where I am today.
Happy, content, honest, healthy and a luv
of riding passenger with my husband on our
Harley, and tending to my little flower sanctuary
in my backyard.

We need each and everyone of you guys
and more, no matter what age, to share
and learn the ways of recovery. Each of us
has something useful to bring to the round
table of recovery to continue helping, supporting
each one as we travel the road of recovery
together.

Age is just a number, thank God, cause
at my age, I feel young, look young all
with the help of recovery program and
Faith incoperated in my everyday life.

Recovery for life, not alcohol for death.
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Old 09-10-2014, 06:25 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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It's funny, I work golf tournaments where most are expecting a young woman to staff the tent. I tell them that the organisors asked for a blond...I'm what they got. Platinum blond!
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Old 09-10-2014, 06:36 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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A trip to the mailbox brings laughs for me! I get AARP and Babies-r-us stuff having a 3 yr. old.
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Old 09-10-2014, 06:49 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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I was a late bloomer in the drinking arena. Empty nest is what sent me over the edge. I had 48 years of sobriety before that. LOL! My drinking career was short-lived, too. I'm 54 now.
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Old 09-10-2014, 07:55 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ESD907 View Post
Well, I think we are the fortunate ones, we are finding sobriety late in life. My mom, when she and dad moved to an 'over 55 golf community" (I thought who would want to be around all those old people). Anyway, she said, you don't know how many problem drinkers there are here. She said some only become problems later in life out of lonliness, retirement, etc. If you are not content sitting home watching tv/reading (which is fine by theway, I enjoy both) constantly, we need to find hobbies, personal relationships, even jobs as we grow older. I took her warning to heart, and it means a lot more now, then when she said it when I was 30. I wish I listened to all her advice, than hindsight really packs a wallup.
Very constructive and helpful to others (me).
Great wisdom from Mom......terrific post
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Old 09-10-2014, 07:57 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Tempe View Post
This thread gives me hope for recovery at my age, 54.
Yes! There is hope for all of us!
Today while reading the thought came to me that the future is now much brighter and not bleaker.

Truly, our best (sober) days lay ahead!
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Old 09-10-2014, 08:03 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Luper View Post
Thank you for this thread! I needed that today.

I will be 50 in December, and am 15 days sober today. Emotions are running all over the place and I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

Nice to see others my age... thanks.
WE stay sober - together!
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Old 09-10-2014, 08:28 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Luper View Post
Thank you for this thread! I needed that today.

I will be 50 in December, and am 15 days sober today. Emotions are running all over the place and I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

Nice to see others my age... thanks.
SUPER LUPER!!
Good for you on 15 days......

Together WE stay sober. So glad your here with us!
Your days will get brighter, there are definitely ups and downs. I have had them but realize that's life. Drinking for me only made it worse.
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Old 09-10-2014, 09:27 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by anattaboy View Post
A trip to the mailbox brings laughs for me! I get AARP and Babies-r-us stuff having a 3 yr. old.
That's awesome!!!
We had one late in life as well - a boy. We'd go out to restaurant etc when he was a toddler and oldest daughter was 16. Lot's of looks and questions about who takes ownership of whom???

Funny - use to play on it....
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Old 09-10-2014, 12:06 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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It is great to see the number of recovering alcoholics represented here who are well past 50. I cleaned up from drugs and booze 10 years ago at age 60.
Since then I've seen literature and heard opinions from the treatment community discussing science which may support a theory that the older you are, the better your chances for sustained sobriety.
I'm clearly not a neuroscientist but my layman's understanding involves two components of neural circuitry: The pre-frontal cortex (PFC) and the HP adrenal (HPA) system. Activation of the HPA system can create motivation for actions of spontaneity/impulsivity. The "braking" mechanism on those impulses is the PFC, often called the rational or business center of the brain.
Younger humans have been found to have a generally less well-developed PFC. When your kid is caught throwing eggs at a teacher's house and asked why, the answer is usually, "I don't know." Because they very well might have no idea why.
As we age, the neural communication between the PFC and HPA (which is constant while we're awake) should become more balanced. We're not throwing eggs anymore but some of us are abusing substances even when we know it is unhealthy, destructive and dangerous.
When anyone discontinues that behavior and removes the substance, they face a future of maintaining the balance between what they really want to do (HPA activity) and what they really should do (PFC control).
The above-mentioned theory thus posits that the more well-developed the pre-frontal cortex becomes as we age, the better the odds for prolonged abstinence.
For whatever it's worth, my client observations of relapse rates over several years bears this out. Teens and 20's are almost always going to be a relapse problem. Age 50 and above average 30%+ clean for one year after initial detox/rehab/treatment.
The whole thing seems to make sense to me.
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Old 09-10-2014, 12:12 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Its not the quantity of time is the quality. Sure there is a certain amount that provides some clarity and context but I see guys and girls with multiple decades that are just as sick and crazy as newcomers.

You really do reap what you sow in terms of recovery. This is my experience.

BTW - I posted about how recovery is a time machine. It gives you back years...something money can't buy. I bet you pickup an extra decade or two with this decision. Good luck!
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Old 09-10-2014, 12:19 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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I'm on attempt # 2 at 52. My first child went off to college this fall, second is in gr 9.
Doing this for my kids, myself and will hopefully influence my alcoholic husband to follow in my footsteps. For now, staying sober and treating myself and remaining child to the best next four years we can have together before she leaves home too is my top priority.
Thanks for the posts!
>AH
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Old 09-10-2014, 12:34 PM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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I turn 50 next week and quit drinking 6 weeks ago. I'm just beginning to feel better since anxiety, panic, exhaustion and general malaise was constant for most of that time. I also grieve my children leaving home and am coming to terms with 'empty nest'. I also separated from my husband of 10 years and moved to a house by myself last year so I'm dealing with multiple changes that are normal at this age.
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Old 09-10-2014, 01:07 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by alumni View Post
It is great to see the number of recovering alcoholics represented here who are well past 50. I cleaned up from drugs and booze 10 years ago at age 60.
Since then I've seen literature and heard opinions from the treatment community discussing science which may support a theory that the older you are, the better your chances for sustained sobriety.
I'm clearly not a neuroscientist but my layman's understanding involves two components of neural circuitry: The pre-frontal cortex (PFC) and the HP adrenal (HPA) system. Activation of the HPA system can create motivation for actions of spontaneity/impulsivity. The "braking" mechanism on those impulses is the PFC, often called the rational or business center of the brain.
Younger humans have been found to have a generally less well-developed PFC. When your kid is caught throwing eggs at a teacher's house and asked why, the answer is usually, "I don't know." Because they very well might have no idea why.
As we age, the neural communication between the PFC and HPA (which is constant while we're awake) should become more balanced. We're not throwing eggs anymore but some of us are abusing substances even when we know it is unhealthy, destructive and dangerous.
When anyone discontinues that behavior and removes the substance, they face a future of maintaining the balance between what they really want to do (HPA activity) and what they really should do (PFC control).
The above-mentioned theory thus posits that the more well-developed the pre-frontal cortex becomes as we age, the better the odds for prolonged abstinence.
For whatever it's worth, my client observations of relapse rates over several years bears this out. Teens and 20's are almost always going to be a relapse problem. Age 50 and above average 30%+ clean for one year after initial detox/rehab/treatment.
The whole thing seems to make sense to me.
Great information, thanks for sharing it!

As I read this I recalled a study of the brain focused on judgment center. MRI's showed development based on age. The contention being as we aged the judgment center matured.

This would seem to be in correlation to what you've presented.
Very interesting and provides HOPE for us aging adults!

Most importantly - Congratulations on quitting at 50 with 10 years sobriety!!!
Awesome....

Thanks!
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Old 09-10-2014, 01:21 PM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Newpathway View Post
I turn 50 next week and quit drinking 6 weeks ago. I'm just beginning to feel better since anxiety, panic, exhaustion and general malaise was constant for most of that time. I also grieve my children leaving home and am coming to terms with 'empty nest'. I also separated from my husband of 10 years and moved to a house by myself last year so I'm dealing with multiple changes that are normal at this age.
Awesome job on 6 weeks!!!
Glad your here - you've found a million new friends!!
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Old 09-10-2014, 03:30 PM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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I'm not over 50, but just wanted to say, I love SR for being so diverse, and the different perspectives given from various age groups is invaluable!!

Plus I thought I'd bump this thread, I'm finding it a fantastic read!!
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Old 09-10-2014, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by ESD907 View Post
Im close 49+. 2 years sober. I still see a 16 year old in the mirror though.
Great thread

Sorry to intrude I am not 50 but felt like I could easily cruise along with my drinking until I was.

I am 38 and two years sober. I love being sober but the hardest part at the start was in the thinking that I could put it off a couple more years. Pretty glad I didn't.

I must say not many of my mates here in Oz don't drink at my age.

BTW can I borrow your mirror.
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Old 09-11-2014, 03:04 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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Saw a gent pick up a chip at meeting today for 18 years of sobriety. He just turned 85!

He always tells us young - in's it's never too late....
He's correct!
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