I'm 48, which is close enough to 50 that I get a ticket to this thread...
Age-stage wise, I started drinking heavily in my 40s, after my children were grown & gone. I realize that I had "kept it together" all those years because I was parenting, and was also fueled with the energy and enthusiasm of building career.
At 42, I found myself alone - kids far away, my marriage ended, many work & life goals realized. A lost place. Alcohol filled that void.
I'm at 28 days right now. It was hard to return to the program after many years of sobriety as a young adult. I've struggled in this last year - 6 months sober, then started drinking again while traveling, then a true struggle to halt that discouraged & desperate run.
I want it. I want a community of loving friends who are exploring their sober experience on this earth - curious, open, present, aware. I want to fill my life with people who are throwing themselves into life, and who have taken off their masks. I want to be immersed in this noble and mysterious adventure, and to not have it alone...