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Old 05-04-2010, 07:38 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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hey guys - sorry if I'm posting too much. I'll probably settle down in a week or two. I just find this so exciting! Hugs to all......
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:42 PM
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Welcome John and Keepcominback! It's always good to have more folks; we can do this together .

Art-chocolate cake, shrimp and mushrooms? I'm practically salivating over here Good to see you're productive and enjoying sobriety so much. Exciting stuff, isn't it? Scary and exciting all at the same time. Well, ODAAT.

Congrats to everyone on another fine day. Let's keep it up.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:17 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Hey Draciack - good to see ya!!!! Yeah, just couldn't take another Big Mac tonight so I decided to cook. Sorry to make you hungry! And I agree - staying sober is exciting AND scary. My thoughts/emotions are still all over the place. Have a good evening/night and sweet dreams.........
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:34 PM
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Watched Best In Show tonight & totally forgot the name of the event is MayFlower... made me laugh

I sort of lost my cool today when my car didn't start after getting flooded saturday & was being ridiculous on the phone with my dad. I apologized & he understands. It's hard for me to process negative occurrences at first because for some reason it's like my mind automatically pulls up any trace of negative storage and I go into overload or something & react in stead of act, if that makes sense. I really come down on myself hard -- needed to get that off my chest, probably irrelevant to the purpose here, but I'm just unhappy with how I deal with things & dwell on things.

It's just I hate being dependent & I feel like that's all I am at the moment---living at home, & now borrowing a car...etc

I also talked to a friend who recently (last few months) mentioned checking an AA meeting out. So, I asked her if she was still interested in going & she said that she thought I was making a mistake by quitting drinking & that I'm just being young & that making mistakes is part of that whole process & that I'm not an addict. This is coming from a friend who's also a past drinking buddy.

I don't think I've gone through as much pain as some people on this site. All I do know & can go from is my reoccurring experiences of getting really intoxicated & getting myself into bad situations that I wouldn't be in sober or if I were I would be able to make a sober decision not a "why not" or "sounds like fun" fuzzy logic decision. Maybe her way of making herself feel better about continued drinking is to ensure that I don't have a problem, to instill in her mind that she doesn't either. I don't know. She also said that by making this "irrational" decision I was going to set myself up for "beating myself up" I told her that deciding to live a sober lifestyle is one of the more rational decisions I've made.

As always I appreciate ya'lls advice
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:55 PM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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I also talked to a friend who recently (last few months) mentioned checking an AA meeting out. So, I asked her if she was still interested in going & she said that she thought I was making a mistake by quitting drinking & that I'm just being young & that making mistakes is part of that whole process & that I'm not an addict. This is coming from a friend who's also a past drinking buddy.
Why did your friend bring up an AA meeting? Was it for her? If so, she obviously has some issues herself with alcohol. I think you're spot-on about her motivation to discourage you from quitting.

And don't think you have to go through more pain. We have others' experiences to tell us how it can be if we keep drinking. No matter how many years we have ahead of us, we can choose not to suffer anymore. Who knows if our next drunk will merely cause us embarrassment or put us behind bars because we ran over someones child with our car. Be patient and kind to yourself and give yourself some time to let your mind clear. I know I still feel irritable and vulnerable right now. It's going to take time. Let's keep at it, because it can only get better. (Well it could get worse, too - but we're NOT going to drink from that glass anymore). I think you're doing great.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:59 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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I had friends who told me the same thing Atlas - heck I has family do that.

In the end I had to make the decision myself based on my criteria, noone elses - I knew what I was doing was right - and the best choice for me.

I had one friend in particular who did NOT want to lose his on call drinking buddy...but he got over it.

He's still drinking and partying - but I haven't seen him more than twice since I quit.

D
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:07 PM
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That's tough, Atlas. I ran into a similar situation about a year ago when I first had serious suspicions I was an alcoholic. One of my best friends going waaaay back (to second grade, in fact) told me this whole "alcoholism" thing was a pile of crock and that I shouldn't trust my own judgment. He kept offering me drinks throughout the night, over and over again, every hour, and finally just said smugly that I'd be back to drinking in a couple of days.

Just remember that you know yourself better than anyone and that quitting drinking can hardly be a mistake--look at how good sobriety feels! As Art mentioned, let's keep at it. As long as we're sober, it can only get better from here.
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:14 PM
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You're exactly right & yeah the meeting was for her. She has epilepsy & still drinks, knowing it affects her meds ability to do their job. Her brother, another good friend, continues to drink & he has pancreatitis...what a bunch. He's actually at a widespread panic show right now, I was going to go with him (I worry about him, but he's 33 & he knows the repercussions), but that was one of the plans with friends that I canceled this week because it'd be too tempting...I've never even showed up to a show of theirs sober, wasn't going to test that.

It's horrible seeing your friends going down this horrible path. I think I'm going to start checking the threads on friends & family of addicts, but I've had conversations with both of them about it & they both seem to have the f*** it mentality.

My friend I mentioned earlier, about the AA, she did agree to check out one with me. I'd like someone to go with & maybe she'll get just as much if not more out of it.

Thanks ArtSoul
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:15 PM
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Yeah it is tough Dee74&Draciack, what great friends we have...haha j/k

Thanks
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Old 05-05-2010, 12:27 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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day two

Hi all - day two - the week days i suppose are what you would call easy, I just have to shake this depressed mood! At least i don't feel so alone when i come on here. the weekends are going to be the killer. The meetings that are on a Friday and saturday are they on in the evening UK time?

onwards and upwards - if I can just get though this weekend it will be the first weekend (apart from pregnancy - I did not realise John would be my isername when I logged on here - is a cat I once had!!) in probably 10 years or more. Have to keep thinking one day at a time, one day at a time....

Hope you all have a good day....
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Old 05-05-2010, 01:31 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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So I'm back on day 2, head hanging in shame. I had a glass of wine with dinner and no problems last week. Then the next day also with no problems. Then the next day an argument and two days of binge drinking. I know my IQ must at least be average - I'm not stupid but my behaviour suggests I am. I have known people close die from this disease but still I don't learn. This time I am going to seek the help of an addiction counselor.
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Old 05-05-2010, 01:40 AM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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Right there with you on day two - head well and truly hung in shame also.... My post yesterday began I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid!! That nasty alcohol whispering in your ear - you'll be OK - just have a couple - it never works!! Tricky little monkey isn't it!! Chin up day two..... make it thought the weekend with me??
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Old 05-05-2010, 05:16 AM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by artsoul View Post
That's fantastic, snowman. Day 2 - we're on a roll!

I hope you get better sleep tonight. I think I slept a couple hours the first two nights. And I didn't function at all during the day. I spent those days reading and posting on SR - at least I could sit in bed with my laptop. Of course, I got up to eat, lol. Last night, I finally got my first good sleep and was able to accomplish a few things. Some of the dishes in the kitchen had been there for days and days. The funny thing, it didn't me that much the last day or two and I thought "hmmm....I was always depressed and overwhelmed by the house when I was drinking."
Thanks Artsoul, and as a matter of fact I DID get some sleep last night! Still not 8 hours but I'll take the 5 that I got and run with it!! Day 3 is looking great so far!

Hope everyone has a great day!!
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Old 05-05-2010, 05:18 AM
  # 74 (permalink)  
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Welcome December! And no, no way are you stupid. I'm reminded of a quote by John Spencer: "Do you know how many alcoholics are in MENSA?" I wish this disease boiled down to intelligence or willpower; then it would be a lot easier to handle and certainly easier to understand.

My controlled drinking experiments always started like that--one drink the first night, two the second, then BOOM back to 10+ per night. That, maybe, is what makes me the most nervous. Drinking, this past year, increased in small increments until I was binge drinking everyday. I didn't even know that it was causing all the turmoil in my life. It took an incredibly disturbing experience to open my eyes and that freaks me out. Who's to say that won't happen again? At this point, I can't afford to take that risk. Abstinence is the way to go.

Stick with us, we can beat this thing together.
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Old 05-05-2010, 05:40 AM
  # 75 (permalink)  
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Truth be known.... I'm back on Day 2, too. (should have been on Day 4). I had one more try at "moderation." Why I thought I needed another experiment, I don't know. I tried to stick to 2 glasses of wine but ended up having 4. The last several times I have drank I have been unable to moderate. And by moderate I mean 2 drinks. I really never understood the concept of having one drink. What would be the point of that? If you're not even going to get a buzz, might as well have a lemonade or diet coke!

Well, I have proven to myself that I cannot moderate. This is a big step. I always used to think, "I can moderate if only I try a little harder." The point is, after I have 2 drinks my judgment is severely impaired and a third drink doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.

I'm convinced that moderation is not going to work for me, which is a huge step. It's a relief in one sense -- I'm done trying to make this work in my life. And scary in another. Not sure how I'm going to cope in every situation without alcohol.

I'm just about to finish my book called Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. I'm on the last chapter. So it's kind of fitting that I'm stopping now.

So all of us on Day 2 (or 1, 3, 4 ,5, etc.) let's stick together. Have a great day!!!

Laura
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Old 05-05-2010, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by traderjane View Post
Truth be known.... I'm back on Day 2, too. (should have been on Day 4). I had one more try at "moderation." Why I thought I needed another experiment, I don't know. I tried to stick to 2 glasses of wine but ended up having 4. The last several times I have drank I have been unable to moderate. And by moderate I mean 2 drinks. I really never understood the concept of having one drink. What would be the point of that? If you're not even going to get a buzz, might as well have a lemonade or diet coke!
Social drinking has always struck me as strange. If you don't want to get drunk, why drink? For the taste? Fuhgeddaboutit.

And Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp is an incredible book. She touches on so many things that alcoholics can relate to, and she does so with wit, charm, and honesty.

On to Day 4. It's a beautiful day.
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Old 05-05-2010, 07:32 AM
  # 77 (permalink)  
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Hello everyone, I'm starting out on Day one again. So I guess I'm with you. It's good to have a place to start out in again, and good to talk to people who are starting out again. I haven't read the whole thread yet, but it's nice to meet you all.
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:32 AM
  # 78 (permalink)  
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Breezing through the week here and now on day 4
The first weekend coming up will be a challenge but one I'm looking forward to.
It will be so pleasurable to be able to function and do lots of stuff I should have been doing on the weekends instead of sitting around getting wasted.
So far I have no 'committee' arguing in my brain but I think they're probably just on a break. Gotta be ready for that.
Have a great sober day everybody!
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:42 AM
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Welcome California! Group support rocks

Richard, do you have a specific plan for this weekend? I'm already gearing up for it, finding events that will keep me busy and preparing mentally for the first night out without alcohol. Should be...interesting
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:47 AM
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Oh yes I'm geared up Draciack, with a list of things to do I should have already done. Also have a list of all the local AA meetings. It's hard for me to get to one during the week here. I'll probably hit a meeting on Friday night and/or Sunday.
Should be interesting but enjoyable. The weekend will probably seem so much longer and more enjoyable than just wasting it away and pounding them down.
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