Welcome December! And no, no way are you stupid. I'm reminded of a quote by John Spencer: "Do you know how many alcoholics are in MENSA?" I wish this disease boiled down to intelligence or willpower; then it would be a lot easier to handle and certainly easier to understand.
My controlled drinking experiments always started like that--one drink the first night, two the second, then BOOM back to 10+ per night. That, maybe, is what makes me the most nervous. Drinking, this past year, increased in small increments until I was binge drinking everyday. I didn't even know that it was causing all the turmoil in my life. It took an incredibly disturbing experience to open my eyes and that freaks me out. Who's to say that won't happen again? At this point, I can't afford to take that risk. Abstinence is the way to go.
Stick with us, we can beat this thing together.
