angharad

there goes the end of a boring long weekend in which i accomplished a lot of house work :/ Day 9 done with, feel kinda low cuz the weekend was so long and boring without drink. Thought about vodka a lot tonight, thought i can just have one but I know i can't so not to start down that route... ah well, night guys <3

intention

A sober weekend is a huge achievement. Well done

Dee74

I remember my first few weekends felt boring too...the weekends get better Ang...if you're anything like me you'll end up amazed you ever had time to sit down and drink

D

angharad

I'm just feeling a bit down this week. Got another meeting tonight, maybe that will cheer me up And going to go swimming after work! Day 11 now

intention

I hope you enjoy your meeting tonight.

SoberJosh

I just finished day 11 myself. The weekends are tough. I just went to meetings and got here to SR when I found myself twiddling my thumbs. Lets keep hangin in there and see what good comes of this new found sobriety thing.

Paula2010

Well done Ang you are doing really well :-) I am day 16, been a very very long 16 days that's for sure!! But I managed to go out for dinner tonight and not have a drink, that was a 1st!! Amazingly my body is also beginning to feel like my own again too so it does get better!! keep it going!

seeker414

I too hope your meeting goes well...and the swimming reminds me that I need to get some exercise as well...that really helps.

Keep it up; you're doing great!

MacDuff

Anghard ..well done on day 11.
Your story is very similar to mine. I'm a 'professional' (not in NHS) & everyone at work thinks I'm tee-total. None of my friends know I have a problem as I too do it in secret & don't drink during the day.....I thought it was only me who decanted vodka into lemonade bottles!!!

I did 37 sober days last year but stupidly thought I could have 'just a little vodka' ...but well I think we all know that it's not possible ....so off the wagon again

I went to my doctor & told him everything ....I've been drinking heavily for over 20 years......averaging over 120 units a week He was very helpful & has prescribed antabuse (which surprised me) I am now on day 3 & going to my first AA meeting this evening.

MY wife is the only one who knew about the problem (which we've kept a secret from everyone for these 20 years) Having tried & failed to stop for more years than I want to remember, I reckon that the only way to have a chance of stopping for good is to get all the help that you can, Doing it alone without the help of your close family & professionals is next to impossible.

Good luck & best wishes

nb...my first, & hopefully not last posting

intention

Hi MD

Welcome and good luck at that meeting tonight. Perhaps you will share with us tomorrow how it was.

Dee74

Welcome to you, MacD
please do keep posting

D

angharad

So now we're on Day 12...and i'm honestly just bored! I still can't sleep, and I feel a bit down this week. Had a meeting yesterday and even went swimming to make myself tired for sleep, but nope!!!

NEOMARXIST

Just gotta stick with it angharad. keeping sober is also about 'accepting' that it sure ain't gonna be easy! Accept that anything in life thats good has to be worked for. At times you will feel just totally p*ssed-off and bored about things but just stick it out one day at a time and you will not regret it.

Being an active alcoholic is the easy way out. Put the work in and make that commitment each day not to pick up that first drink and your life will reap the rewards in time.


peace

intention

But wasn't your life boring when you were drinking every day - very repetitive !!

If you are thinking drinking will be more entertaining, try playing the tape through to the end - think about what happens at the end of a drinking session, rather than the first drink

angharad

Thanks Intention and Neo, much appreciated words to putting me back in the frame of mind. I know I don't want to be drunk and pass out in bed again and i know i don't want the misty mind the next day. There's just something about that first drink that after 12 days my mind is glorifying into something i know its not. Thanks for the support really, it helps. And yes when i think about it drinking every day WAS boring.

Goat

Yes, there sure is, isn't there... But that first drink is just the worm on the hook.

I'm still a newcomer, but with a little more sober time, and I have started to see a skull and crossbones on the vodka bottle. It may not be poison for my neighbor or my friends, but it's a deadly poison for me.

And like antifreeze, it tries to tempt you with a sweetness that belies its deadly nature.

-Goat

NEOMARXIST

The alcoholic mind is one sneaky, cunniving son of a bitch. The reality is for an alcoholic that drinking really turns pretty crap very quickly. The fact is that the anticipation of the 'sesh' in reality is better than the actual experince in my experince.

Sure the first few going down and feeling that warm glow and instant f*ck it mentality to the world and life in general, feels like coming home again, but soon the intense craving starts and the drinks start going down quicker and quicker and then bam... coming round from passout wondering what the hell happened. Cue craving another drink. cycle starts over again.

Don't believe your euphoric recall when it comes flooding back nostalgically about those 'few' drinks. Remember what the reality of drinking for you is. Remember you're an alcoholic so there isn't a happy ending for you and drinking. Remember why you decided to quit in the first place.

Try to think about applying 'recovery' into your everyday life if you can. Try to be more compassionate and kind to others in your daily life. Ty to actively take a step back in your life and evaluate certain actions and reactions that you make towards others in relation to applying the key principles of the steps of AA.

I found doing this each day helped me keep the monster of my alcoholism at bay. His whispering words grow quiet when I have an attitute of gratitute and practice a religion of kindness to others. If I begin to even faintly start to hear any whispers again then I look at myself and evaluate what I have to 'work' on in my recovery.


peace and Love. x

angharad

Neo your words brought me to tears You speak the truth. Thanks hun. I;m off to bed and hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day. Thanks for the support during my down day -x-

least

How are you doing today? Coming up on two weeks sober, aren't you? I'm proud of you. It's hard but you're hanging in there, staying strong and sober. Good for you!

Fandy

congrats Ang......I went back and read your first post of this thread..you sound so different now, much like me too.....( i am one day behind you)...congrats on your progress.