angharad

OMG thank you!! seriously thank you, i thought i was all alone. im crying now. i put the bottle down. why do i do it seriously?!!??! sorry if im ranting on here.

bdiddy5522

There are a lot of people here for you. If you need someone to talk to on here, try the chat room. Someone is usually always there to listen. Everyone has their own reasons for doing it. For me, I did it to drink away the anxiety I got from NOT drinking. It was the only thing that make it go away..... at least temporarily. Then it would just come back with a vengeance once I stopped. It was a double edged sword. It took it away, and made it worse at the same time. But in the end it was just killing me. I really hope you get the help you need to get sober. Your life depends on it!

angharad

I want help and i feel so **** tbh

bdiddy5522

Help is usually pretty easy to get when you are ready to accept it. Open your arms and go and get it! You CAN do it!!!!! Hugs.

intention

For those not in the UK to explain, NHS means the National Health Service. GPs work for the NHS. Angharad is a health visitor who works alongside GPs for the NHS and they usually work out of the same practices with the same computer systems and medical notes and same patients.

I know there is supposed to be confidentiality when you see your GP but I can understand her fears.

Lets hope she can find a way around this so she can get medical advice without jeopardising her job and career.

angharad

thank you i will ring tomorrow

least

Take good care of yourself and remember, you are not alone. There are many of us on this long and sometimes bumpy road. You do'nt have to do this alone. We are here with you.

angharad

Well this morning I blurted it all out to my partner and he has chosen to stick with me and help me through this I have the shakes today and still feel rough but am a bit more positive about the next steps I have to take now. Thanks everyone.

Fubarcdn

You should be proud of yourself for telling your partner and thankful that you are getting the support you need.
You are well on your way to a better life.
Good luck.

intention

Well done, you have taken a step towards recovery. Just keep going.

Dee74

Well done Angharad - I'm really pleased for you that you took that step!

D

angharad

Just spent the evening like every Saturday at the in-laws. I didn't drink. They are now convinced I am pregnant lol. This is so hard. I feel sick to my stomach, don't know what to do with myself, still shaking, and feel very anxious. I have my first aa meeting on Tuesday.

ANGELINA243

Congrats on another day sober! Hang on 'til Tuesday! Keep posting. Just don't pick up a drink. Also, if you are shaky due to alcohol withdrawal you might seek medical attention just to be safe.

angharad

Last night was awful. How do you learn to fall asleep again instead of just passing out into oblivion?

least

It takes a while for your body and brain to get used to functioning normally. Insommnia is a b!tch at first but it does get better.


Here are some things to try when you can't sleep



http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-insomnia.html

intention

Well done and keep us updated on your progress. Although your sleep may take time to settle, you will feel the benefit very quickly of being hangover free the next day.

angharad

Thats the thing I didn't really get hangovers as such, I just woke up 6.30am made the pack lunch and breakfast then set off to work. Every breakfast time involved paracetamol for the initial fuzzy head.
The only feeling I got was around 3pm when I couldn't keep my eyes open and the shakes started. So When I finished work around 4pm, stop in the shops on the way home, buy the litre of vodka, then for the half hour before my bf got home from work I would separate the vodka into manageable cola bottles already mixed. As soon as I got home though one of those would be drank straight away.
Then began the night of drinking til i passed out at midnight.
Looking back now isn't it amazing how you can pretend to everyone around you that you are not drunk and just really tired? lol Plus as we live together he plays xbox most nights while I'm trying to study for my MSc so like he said, he didn't really notice.

Today I feel confused, anxious, bit sick and a bit shaky though not as bad as yesterday yet lol I just have the feeling of 'omg thats it, its all over' and then thinking how the hell am i going to cope on nights out or seeing friends and family now without drinking, how do i explain to them why im not drinking, its all a bit of an emtional roller coaster atm but posting on here suprisingly makes it easier Roll on Tuesday for that first aa meeting.

I must admit it was odd seeing midnight on a saturday night sober for the first time in probably about 5 years....

intention

Hi Angharad

Hangovers aside, I would guess you are going to feel better just having the fog lifted. And no more paracetamol for breakfast!

We say we quit alcohol one day at a time. Try to keep it in the day, in the next hour or minute if you have to. Projecting into the future about events where alcohol will be will end up doing you harm. Just do not drink today.

As to telling your friends. I really would suggest that you tell people you have quit for good. It closes the door so you can't sneak back in and drink around them. You don't have to elaborate any further - health is a very good reason. You can always discuss your alcoholism when you have some sobriety and recovery and you feel more able to handle any questions which may arise.

Once you start going to AA you will have help. When you go, listen to the similarities in stories, rather than the differences. Listen for people who talk about being happy being sober and free of the urge to drink. Get as many women's phone numbers as you can. Reach out and talk to people. Once you have new sober friends you will find it easier to deal with situations with your other friends when drink is around.

angharad

Thanks Intention. I hope I can last until Tuesday. I'm feeling really empty at the moment and all I can think about is Vodka but I'm guessing this is normal. I've drank enough water to fill the Atlantic Ocean today though lol

bdiddy5522

Hey girl. Sorry I have been gone for a couple days. I don't check in much on weekends. Usually busy enjoying my weekends sober now. You soon will also! Congratulations on telling your fiance. That is a huge step, and was very crucial for me. Now I couldn't drink at home if I wanted to as my wife would kill me! lol. Best of luck at your fist meeting on Tuesday. Try not to be nervous. They are all people just like you. They may have more sober time than you, but they, just like you, are just one drink away from the next major slip. Keep us posted, and hang in there. Hugs.