venuscat

Red honey ~ so now you can make a plan for next time....next time you are at a friend's house, or something like that....and I would practice it in my head, or out loud.
This is years of ingrained ways of doing things: it is not easy to change. But we can. ❤️

Dee74

I had to take the option of drinking off the table red, no matter what - even when I might disappoint the offerer or set myself up for conflict or even some one else’s anger.

If I don’t look out for myself, no one else will.

Dee74

Welcome back Citrus. I think you could do well to consider the off the table thing too.

sometimes a plan need not be more complicated than a short sharp mental no immediately when you get the opportunity to take a drink?


Be I can still suffer from anxiety and racing mind - I had to remember I suffered from those things long before I had my first drink.

Things started to get less fraught around 3 months for me tho.

I credit not drinking and working on my recovery for me being the least anxious that I have ever been in my life now, and the racing brain I put to good use in places like SR and elsewhere.

D

Be123

Thanks Venus and leshar (edit) and Dee and Jo!

I am seeing my therapist again, weekly, and he's great. Recovering addict and really good. I feel myself moving forward but I'm not sure how much of the anxiety is 'just' giving up the booze, and how much situational.

My ex is seeing a new bloke and it's thrown up lots of emotions. In my head I am pleased for her and logically it helps me out...I'm happy with my partner, and my ex is less competitive about time with the kids now as she has her own life to lead. And I also know that our relationship was really damaging for me.

But it's thrown up lots of underlying insecurities from my (dysfunctional) upbringing. Without being too melodramatic it's hard to feel secure and confident when you're treated like **** growing up 🤷‍♂️. My ex 'abandoning' me terrifies my inner child despite the adult Be123 being quite pleased abkut it. And I think this is causing a fair bit of actual fear in me which I feel as anxiety

looking4awagon

Thanks for the warm welcome! This is day 1 for me. Dee, as for what I've tried in the past is pretty much sober months then trying to moderate which obviously I'm not able to do. This has been the only resource that I have tried. I have looked into one on one therapy with an addiction specialist but I haven't found anyone in my area who takes insurance.

venuscat

For me, anxiety can turn into fear if I don't address it.
I am not sure how long you have been with your partner Be, but if you feel comfortable, perhaps you two could have a talk about your feelings around abandonment.
Just a thought. ❤️

venuscat

I had to read that a couple of times to realise that you are saying there are addiction therapists who do not take insurance. Why? That is crazy, isn't it? Who are they there to help?

I hope you can find someone.

Newlife8643

Day 22, which is a big accomplishment for me. If I didn't have anyone to talk to I would be flying in the blind. Yawls words help a LOT! I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder along with depression yrs ago which I take meds for. They do help but it's like regular visitors that come to my house at will. I just assumed that because I am through the withdrawals, this is the new norm. I've never been here before so I don't know what to expect. Thank God for SR!!! I have been doing more walking than I have done in years but am limited on how much I can walk do to 20 yrs of chronic back pain. I know I sound like a train wreck, well Actually, I think it's more than a feeling...it is what it is. God bless you all.......

venuscat

Day 22 is awesome Newlife! And so is the walking. ❤️

Newlife8643

Welcome 4awagon, We are in the same boat...this also has been the only resource that I have but O how it works! At 1st I also was looking for a counselor but after looking at online reviews of counselors, many 1 star, I started calling help lines (5 of them) which didn't have a clue of what I was going through or just wanted my Insurance $. Then I found SR. Now I have a multitude of counselors with NO MOTIVE but to help people. Venuscat ask, who are they (counselors) there to help? answer, THEMSELVES$$$$$. Now I'm sure that there are good ones out there...GOOD luck finding them. Blessings......

Dee74

SR really helped me accept that a return to moderation was not possible L4AW.
I hope that we, and what ever other supports you seek out, can help you do the same

D

venuscat

I am in OH, so if I was looking for an addiction counsellor I would go through Ohio Health and choose from their list.
So I just did that, and put "addiction counselling" in the search bar and found a doctor (psychologist/addiction specialist) 15 mins away who is accepting new patients.

Maybe it is easier in Ohio....I am not sure. I don't know what the equivalent service in each state is called, but you guys might.

Leshar

Hi everyone,
Caught up on chores, then ordered my favourite face products online. A bit pricey but worth it to me because of my sensitive skin. And look how we're all saving, not buying alcohol!
Red, have you thought about hunkering down for a week or two, and not go to social stuff where booze is offered? I don't know your situation but maybe stay home until you feel stronger?

freedomfries

Good morning. It's 2:37am. I have to sort out my sleeping schedule. But I don't have enough ativan to pass out at 6pm anymore so that should correct itself..

The social welfare office want evidence I'm applying for jobs. Just two more job applications and I'll have the form filled in, I'll do that this morning. Maybe something will come from one of these applications.

Lost my glasses on a bender so I'll ring specsavers today and arrange a test, I'm overdue. I can manage fine generally without glasses but reading books is hard so I'd like a new pair. And if I get a job I'll need glasses.

It's day 6. AV is always there but the naltrexone is a comfort. I know if I drank the naltrexone would block the buzz so there'd be no point. I need to make a GP appt as it was originally prescribed three times a week, just to be taken before drinking, but I've decided to take it every day for abstinence. So I'll run out soon.

Going to head out for a walk at 6am. The stormy weather in Ireland has settled and it's not too cold. Might do 4km. Then a homemade bacon and egg mcmuffin for breakfast. Not the healthiest but delicious.

Backtogood

Finishing up day 22. Hubby is drunk again and pissy. I asked him what he had to drink and he said "nothing". Then I found his drink in the garage and he said it was from last night. I told him I didn't care, just don't lie. And he stormed out of the house, saying he shouldn't be treated like this. 🙄 I'm just frustrated. He just resents me not drinking. He's having a hard time quitting and likes to remind me of all my drunken mistakes thus last year that led to my sobriety. I just try and look to the future because I can't change my past.

calmself

End of Day 100 - wishing everyone a sober 24 hours ahead. Congrats to all milestones achievements today.

Good night from Seattle!

Be123

Morning all. Hope all the February class are well and enjoying the benefits of being sober, even in these early days. My sleep is better, I am less anxious (although still a bit all the time) and I feel better in myself.

Today I'm going for a walk first thing, then pottering about with some 'domestic admin' 😉, including for the first time in 2022 some "garden administration" 😂. Both kids are disappearing off at 3:00 - one to their mums, the other to their mates. So an evening to myself (my partner is otherwise engaged). Once that would've been an invitation to drink to black out...today it's gonna be some nice food and something good on TV.

Love to you all

Red78

Definitely no drinking tonight, I still feel terrible, just Netflix and Indian food for me..

Backtogood

Congrats on 100 days calm!! Can't wait to reach 100 days myself 😉 #ODAT

Jo43

Congrats on 100 Calm!

Indian sounds fab Red! Oh I do love a good curry! Which one will you go for?

I’m sat listening to my sons parrot trying to wake him up 😂 Zeke is very cute and is starting to talk!

I like to sit n my feelings and thoughts in the mornings to remind myself where I now am compared to where I was. It’s a blessing!

Have a good day all xx