Class of May 2021 Support thread Part Two
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 338
Welcome Penny!
Thanks for the support guys! I had mentioned to my husband before that I didn't want to drink but never used the word alcoholic. I think he has gotten the message now.
Yes, our vacation ended in a bit of a temper tantrum on his part. He really seems to have enjoyed his day at home working in his little workshop/shed. He is definitely going to need some air conditioning in there if he plans on doing his wood working projects.
I have am tired this afternoon. Grocery shopping, laundry and cooking. I found some really nice ribs that I have been cooking in the oven for quite a while now. At 5:00 they go on the grill.
I am doing well for it being wine:30. I thought I would pop in here for a bit, read and say hello.
Thanks for the support guys! I had mentioned to my husband before that I didn't want to drink but never used the word alcoholic. I think he has gotten the message now.
Yes, our vacation ended in a bit of a temper tantrum on his part. He really seems to have enjoyed his day at home working in his little workshop/shed. He is definitely going to need some air conditioning in there if he plans on doing his wood working projects.
I have am tired this afternoon. Grocery shopping, laundry and cooking. I found some really nice ribs that I have been cooking in the oven for quite a while now. At 5:00 they go on the grill.
I am doing well for it being wine:30. I thought I would pop in here for a bit, read and say hello.
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by JaseUK 
Hi Everyone and thanks for the warm welcome 
.
Personally I'm on day 5 and tbh not looking forward to this weekend. I'll be at home alone (well except for my crazy old (21yo) ex stray cat who adopted me!) so temptation will surely come but being here with u lot really helps me.
And now for a Newbie q: What the heck is AV? Audio/visual? A Viking? Amazing Voice? < must be one of those I'm sure 😳.
.Personally I'm on day 5 and tbh not looking forward to this weekend. I'll be at home alone (well except for my crazy old (21yo) ex stray cat who adopted me!) so temptation will surely come but being here with u lot really helps me.
And now for a Newbie q: What the heck is AV? Audio/visual? A Viking? Amazing Voice? < must be one of those I'm sure 😳.
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by OneThingAtATime
Welcome Penny!
Thanks for the support guys! I had mentioned to my husband before that I didn't want to drink but never used the word alcoholic. I think he has gotten the message now.
Yes, our vacation ended in a bit of a temper tantrum on his part. He really seems to have enjoyed his day at home working in his little workshop/shed. He is definitely going to need some air conditioning in there if he plans on doing his wood working projects.
I have am tired this afternoon. Grocery shopping, laundry and cooking. I found some really nice ribs that I have been cooking in the oven for quite a while now. At 5:00 they go on the grill.
I am doing well for it being wine:30. I thought I would pop in here for a bit, read and say hello.
Thanks for the support guys! I had mentioned to my husband before that I didn't want to drink but never used the word alcoholic. I think he has gotten the message now.
Yes, our vacation ended in a bit of a temper tantrum on his part. He really seems to have enjoyed his day at home working in his little workshop/shed. He is definitely going to need some air conditioning in there if he plans on doing his wood working projects.
I have am tired this afternoon. Grocery shopping, laundry and cooking. I found some really nice ribs that I have been cooking in the oven for quite a while now. At 5:00 they go on the grill.
I am doing well for it being wine:30. I thought I would pop in here for a bit, read and say hello.
I'm glad you're both feeling better today. Enjoy those ribs!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Hey everyone hope you are all well. Just popping in to say hello! On day 24, it's going well so far. Minimal cravings, just the odd moment comes along where I feel like getting drunk. I had it earlier, Friday around 6pm, bank holiday , warm weather. I felt like Ok I could just get drunk tonight and let loose. But no, I don't drink anymore and before I know it an hour had gone passed and I had completely forgot about that thought. It really was fleeting. I actually went to a bar ay 8pm to meet a friend, and wasn't the slightest bit tempted to drink. My friend wasn't drinking either, we had a coke and I then came home, had a cup of tea and my dinner.
Gym tomorrow morning, looking forward to it.
Gym tomorrow morning, looking forward to it.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Nottingham, UK
Posts: 150
Originally Posted by kittencat
Stay close to this site this weekend, we're all here for you. A crazy old ex stray adopted you? Sweet!
https://i.ibb.co/jL14jPS/Cat.png
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Georgia
Posts: 56
OneThing I'm sorry to hear about your vacation. It sounded like it was tense and unenjoyable. Nobody should ever have to go through that, I wish you didn't have to experience that.
I saw my granddad today for the first time since my grandmom's funeral two weeks ago. He wasn't doing too good. He misses her so much and I feel so terrible for him. I told him to reach out to me if he needs a buddy to keep him company and if he needs help going through her things (she was a shopaholic) to text me. I really hope he does. He's been taking so many opiates I'm scared I'm going to lose him too.
My sisters continue to pretend like I don't exist. They rarely say anything, but when they do it's to criticize me. I know I hurt them a lot with my addiction and I don't expect them to be best friends with me at all, I just wish they could be kind to me. Every night before bed my family makes a point to hug each other and say I love you. They refuse to, so I only get goodnight hugs from my parents. Sometimes just my dad. I'm feeling very lonely.
I've been really craving drugs today because of these things. All day I was reminiscing my favorite, which was ketamine. I used to roll on ketamine all day and basically be in space, completely out of body, and it would feel like years had passed when I came back down. I was thinking about how nice it would have been to feel like that again because it made loneliness tolerable. I have an online addiction recovery meeting in an hour and a half and I'm trying to muster up the strength to attend it.
I saw my granddad today for the first time since my grandmom's funeral two weeks ago. He wasn't doing too good. He misses her so much and I feel so terrible for him. I told him to reach out to me if he needs a buddy to keep him company and if he needs help going through her things (she was a shopaholic) to text me. I really hope he does. He's been taking so many opiates I'm scared I'm going to lose him too.
My sisters continue to pretend like I don't exist. They rarely say anything, but when they do it's to criticize me. I know I hurt them a lot with my addiction and I don't expect them to be best friends with me at all, I just wish they could be kind to me. Every night before bed my family makes a point to hug each other and say I love you. They refuse to, so I only get goodnight hugs from my parents. Sometimes just my dad. I'm feeling very lonely.
I've been really craving drugs today because of these things. All day I was reminiscing my favorite, which was ketamine. I used to roll on ketamine all day and basically be in space, completely out of body, and it would feel like years had passed when I came back down. I was thinking about how nice it would have been to feel like that again because it made loneliness tolerable. I have an online addiction recovery meeting in an hour and a half and I'm trying to muster up the strength to attend it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Originally Posted by JaseUK
Yes indeed and this is the hooligan in question (and yes she has no tail! The Vet said it had been surgically removed before I got her presumably as it got damaged. Doesn't seem to affect her at all tho. Oh and she is in one of her many (random) positions!
https://i.ibb.co/jL14jPS/Cat.png
https://i.ibb.co/jL14jPS/Cat.png
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Happy, I think you really need that meeting tonight. You’ve laid yourself pretty bare, romanticizing that ketamine trip. I’ve no experience with it, but, if you’re here, it can’t really be so great, right?
Do your sisters live with you and your parents? That sounds very difficult, with them giving you the cold shoulder. Are they adults? Maybe with time, they’ll trust again. 💕
My AV is whining for some Friday night fun. But, it’s really just a boredom buster with a hefty price tag. I’ll have to pay for it with ruining my sober streak, and a hangover. I’ll get busy cooking some food for the party we are going to tomorrow.
Do your sisters live with you and your parents? That sounds very difficult, with them giving you the cold shoulder. Are they adults? Maybe with time, they’ll trust again. 💕
My AV is whining for some Friday night fun. But, it’s really just a boredom buster with a hefty price tag. I’ll have to pay for it with ruining my sober streak, and a hangover. I’ll get busy cooking some food for the party we are going to tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by JaseUK
Yes indeed and this is the hooligan in question (and yes she has no tail! The Vet said it had been surgically removed before I got her presumably as it got damaged. Doesn't seem to affect her at all tho. Oh and she is in one of her many (random) positions!
https://i.ibb.co/jL14jPS/Cat.png
https://i.ibb.co/jL14jPS/Cat.png
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Jase your cat is so adorable - and so sweet you love her so much! I have two cats, and if I had any idea how to put a picture here I would, but I don't. But they are both very loving and often hilarious. I hope you and your cat are keeping each other company , Friday nights can be a bit tricky.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Georgia
Posts: 56
Well, I'm in the Zoom waiting room for the meeting. 20 minutes have passed and the host hasn't started the meeting or hasn't let me in, I'm not quite sure how it works. I can feel a lump in my throat, I'm not sure why I've got so much anxiety about it. Part of me wants the meeting to start but part of me hopes that it was cancelled tonight and I just didn't get the memo. I know I need this meeting and I wish I could just rip the bandaid off but sitting here waiting for it to start is killing me.
My oldest sister doesn't live with us. She and her daughter are just visiting because my grandmom's passing a few weeks ago. She goes back home on Sunday. My other two sisters are 16 and 17 years old. We used to be best friends and tell each other everything. I preferred hanging out with them to people my own age sometimes since we were just that close. Now there's no relationship at all. All three of them get along so well and have been hanging out and doing things without me. My older sister sometimes makes an effort to include me, but I usually hang back because my two younger sisters can be hurtful sometimes. The two of them are especially close. It really hurts to see them all having a good time together when I really could use a friend right now. I've tried doing favors for them or asking them how they're doing/ about their day/ etc. but they just don't want anything to do with me. I just feel so isolated. I just stay in my room and listen to music or watch something and try to ignore the sound of them all conversing and laughing downstairs because it hurts so much.
I would just replace the time I spent with them with my dad but he's incredibly busy with work. I tried to spend more time with him but apparently it upset my sisters and they confronted him about it. They said that he was giving me special attention and being too easy on me. My older sister said that if it were up to her then she would have called the cops on me and I'd be in jail. Even though this happened several weeks ago it still hurts to think about. My dad doesn't care that they think these things about our relationship, but I do. I don't want them to hate me more than they already do so I haven't been talking to him as much as I used to, even though I'm so lonely and it hurts so much. I just can't wait to move out in September so I can live on campus and be away from all of this. I'm scared of being alone, but I'd rather be alone than ignored by the people I love.
Well it's half past 7 and the meeting still hasn't been started. I guess I'll just call it quits. I'm really disappointed because I really could have used some support tonight. I'm tempted to dig the rest of my stash out of the garbage again and trip all night. I know I should have thrown the rest of it away after my first relapse, but I still have 400ug of LSD in the trash. The can's full but I can't bear to throw it out still, so I have another trash bag next to it. I know this sounds so disgusting but I promise my room is spotless except for the full waste bin. I'm still ashamed of it though. I have three geckos so the trash cans fill quickly. I know I can't blame this mess on this stupid meeting not starting because that'd be super convenient. I just wish that it would.
My oldest sister doesn't live with us. She and her daughter are just visiting because my grandmom's passing a few weeks ago. She goes back home on Sunday. My other two sisters are 16 and 17 years old. We used to be best friends and tell each other everything. I preferred hanging out with them to people my own age sometimes since we were just that close. Now there's no relationship at all. All three of them get along so well and have been hanging out and doing things without me. My older sister sometimes makes an effort to include me, but I usually hang back because my two younger sisters can be hurtful sometimes. The two of them are especially close. It really hurts to see them all having a good time together when I really could use a friend right now. I've tried doing favors for them or asking them how they're doing/ about their day/ etc. but they just don't want anything to do with me. I just feel so isolated. I just stay in my room and listen to music or watch something and try to ignore the sound of them all conversing and laughing downstairs because it hurts so much.
I would just replace the time I spent with them with my dad but he's incredibly busy with work. I tried to spend more time with him but apparently it upset my sisters and they confronted him about it. They said that he was giving me special attention and being too easy on me. My older sister said that if it were up to her then she would have called the cops on me and I'd be in jail. Even though this happened several weeks ago it still hurts to think about. My dad doesn't care that they think these things about our relationship, but I do. I don't want them to hate me more than they already do so I haven't been talking to him as much as I used to, even though I'm so lonely and it hurts so much. I just can't wait to move out in September so I can live on campus and be away from all of this. I'm scared of being alone, but I'd rather be alone than ignored by the people I love.
Well it's half past 7 and the meeting still hasn't been started. I guess I'll just call it quits. I'm really disappointed because I really could have used some support tonight. I'm tempted to dig the rest of my stash out of the garbage again and trip all night. I know I should have thrown the rest of it away after my first relapse, but I still have 400ug of LSD in the trash. The can's full but I can't bear to throw it out still, so I have another trash bag next to it. I know this sounds so disgusting but I promise my room is spotless except for the full waste bin. I'm still ashamed of it though. I have three geckos so the trash cans fill quickly. I know I can't blame this mess on this stupid meeting not starting because that'd be super convenient. I just wish that it would.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Happy, next year it’s fish and chips at the beach for sure! I’m glad your Dad is looking out for you, it is a difficult industry to be in when newly sober. Although I was talking to a lady the other day who works in a large liquor store nearby, who hasn’t had a drink for 20 years!
Oh I just read your posts about your family, and I’m sending you a huge huge hug
❤️ Perhaps your poor Grandad and you can spend some time together, it might be just what both of you need ❤️ and maybe you need some space from those sisters…. And it sounds like a meeting is a really good idea at the moment. Like Dee said, maybe you can find another meeting?
Congratulations on 40 days Jo, really awesome work!
One Thing I’m sending you a great big hug That sounds like a really, really difficult week for you.
Hugs Plenny Welcome to the May team ❤️
Phoebe, driving is a good plan for staying sober. I’m using that a lot lately, and as we live quite a way out of town, it works well
Jase, your crazy old cat is adorable ❤️
Dustyfox I use this to post photos, it’s easy peasy
http://photoposting.is-great.net/?i=1
Oh I just read your posts about your family, and I’m sending you a huge huge hug
❤️ Perhaps your poor Grandad and you can spend some time together, it might be just what both of you need ❤️ and maybe you need some space from those sisters…. And it sounds like a meeting is a really good idea at the moment. Like Dee said, maybe you can find another meeting?Congratulations on 40 days Jo, really awesome work!
One Thing I’m sending you a great big hug
That sounds like a really, really difficult week for you.Hugs Plenny
Welcome to the May team ❤️Phoebe, driving is a good plan for staying sober. I’m using that a lot lately, and as we live quite a way out of town, it works well
Jase, your crazy old cat is adorable ❤️
Dustyfox I use this to post photos, it’s easy peasy
http://photoposting.is-great.net/?i=1
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Happylandfills, hoping you got in. There’s tons of meetings worldwide on zoom, some that even stay rolling all night, and just reset with a new chairman or speaker every hour
so as some of you know I’m in the service industry, and in that world it’s tough to hide. It’s also a small town. So tonight several times I told my coworkers I’m in recovery. It felt really good and different this time. And I’m so lucky. Not one person thought it was a big deal or unusual and they just said ok great so we’ll order you soda waters at the bar. It was nice. And, I even told a friend who I used to drink with a lot and she was very cool too. Most people around me here know about my relationship to alcohol and how I’ve tried over the years. But this is the first time I’ve opened up for this kind of accountability.
I live in a party town. Something I’m starting to really love about this place is that as much as drinking is a part of our culture, recovery is just as much. The locals know. It’s really helpful because I need to live somewhere exciting and with lots going on. Honestly it gives me something to isolate from. If I lived in a real quiet or dry place, I think I’d be looking for trouble.
so as some of you know I’m in the service industry, and in that world it’s tough to hide. It’s also a small town. So tonight several times I told my coworkers I’m in recovery. It felt really good and different this time. And I’m so lucky. Not one person thought it was a big deal or unusual and they just said ok great so we’ll order you soda waters at the bar. It was nice. And, I even told a friend who I used to drink with a lot and she was very cool too. Most people around me here know about my relationship to alcohol and how I’ve tried over the years. But this is the first time I’ve opened up for this kind of accountability.
I live in a party town. Something I’m starting to really love about this place is that as much as drinking is a part of our culture, recovery is just as much. The locals know. It’s really helpful because I need to live somewhere exciting and with lots going on. Honestly it gives me something to isolate from. If I lived in a real quiet or dry place, I think I’d be looking for trouble.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Georgia
Posts: 56
I appreciate y'alls kind words. I looked around for other online meetings and NA meetings in my city. It was all so overwhelming for me I just went to sleep. I know I should have sucked it up and found a meeting but I just couldn't find the power to do it. My boyfriend talked me out of getting into my trash stash, but I still crave a high of any kind.
I'm hoping my granddad will reach out to me and have me over. He's not exactly the kind of relative that you can just pop in on, otherwise I'd go there to escape the loneliness I face here. I have to either keep doing schoolwork, watching movies or TV shows, or one of my art projects or else I'll burst into tears. I'm looking forward to getting out of the house to work more often to just get out of the environment. It's nothing against my dad, I know he's a parent to all of us and can't pick sides, but I wish he could understand how much this is hurting me. It's not that my dad's help isn't enough, but I can't help but feel like recovery would be a little easier if I had my sisters' love and support.
I'm hoping my granddad will reach out to me and have me over. He's not exactly the kind of relative that you can just pop in on, otherwise I'd go there to escape the loneliness I face here. I have to either keep doing schoolwork, watching movies or TV shows, or one of my art projects or else I'll burst into tears. I'm looking forward to getting out of the house to work more often to just get out of the environment. It's nothing against my dad, I know he's a parent to all of us and can't pick sides, but I wish he could understand how much this is hurting me. It's not that my dad's help isn't enough, but I can't help but feel like recovery would be a little easier if I had my sisters' love and support.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,476
I hope you can find it in yourself to get rid of your 'trash stash' Happy.
As far as your family goes...I'm not that close to my siblings but I alienated the people closest to me when I was in active addiction - didn't mean to, but did just the same.
fair or not, it took a little time for them to trust me again. They needed to see the real me was back, for good.
The best thing I did, and the best thing you can do right now is stay clean and sober.
D
As far as your family goes...I'm not that close to my siblings but I alienated the people closest to me when I was in active addiction - didn't mean to, but did just the same.
fair or not, it took a little time for them to trust me again. They needed to see the real me was back, for good.
The best thing I did, and the best thing you can do right now is stay clean and sober.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Originally Posted by dustyfox
Jase your cat is so adorable - and so sweet you love her so much! I have two cats, and if I had any idea how to put a picture here I would, but I don't. But they are both very loving and often hilarious. I hope you and your cat are keeping each other company , Friday nights can be a bit tricky.
And this is the link to how to post pics ~
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...our-posts.html (How to put pics in your posts)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Happy ~ so much love honey. s
Just a thought....your grandad is in a tough place right now, so maybe you can reach out to him, maybe even go and spend a few hours with him today.... I always used to play cards and rummikub with my grandma. I spent many Saturday nights at your age hanging out with her instead of partying with my friends. I have wonderful memories. s ❤️
sJust a thought....your grandad is in a tough place right now, so maybe you can reach out to him, maybe even go and spend a few hours with him today.... I always used to play cards and rummikub with my grandma. I spent many Saturday nights at your age hanging out with her instead of partying with my friends. I have wonderful memories.
s ❤️
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
