Class of May 2021 Support thread Part Two
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
Originally Posted by FiveTries 
I had 3 days with my kiddos last weekend BacktoGood. It was definitely stressful through parts of it. I was craving a drink pretty hard at times. Mostly we had fun together, and I had no regrets. In hindsight it went by quick too! Hope you have enjoy the 5 days.
I have been glued to this website for days.. Like reading all day. Avoiding life. My mental space is weird right now. There's a lot of balls in the air and I'm not sure I can handle em all. In fact I know I can't.
Then I have a tendency to quit drinking when very stressed and start up when I feel better. Will I feel better soon?. I can't add alcohol to my mix anymore though it's just too much to deal with. Ugh.
I have been glued to this website for days.. Like reading all day. Avoiding life. My mental space is weird right now. There's a lot of balls in the air and I'm not sure I can handle em all. In fact I know I can't.
Then I have a tendency to quit drinking when very stressed and start up when I feel better. Will I feel better soon?. I can't add alcohol to my mix anymore though it's just too much to deal with. Ugh.
'see? you waste time and shirk responsibility sober anyway, so you may as well drink..' ?
If you've got a lot of balls in the air ignoring them is not really a tenable long term solution. Try a to do list each day maybe?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Georgia
Posts: 56
Willow I'm so happy that your birthday went well. I'm proud of you for not drinking. I'm sorry that you couldn't go to the beach like you wanted but hopefully next year it'll work out the way you want!
The host at the restaurant is the person who seats customers at their tables. He was sweet by letting me confide in him. He doesn't get plastered because he gets drug tested for internships though, not for sobriety reasons. No one at my new job is trying to be sober. My manager reeked of marijuana. If my dad weren't randomly drug testing me, I think I'd be in for some real trouble.
The host at the restaurant is the person who seats customers at their tables. He was sweet by letting me confide in him. He doesn't get plastered because he gets drug tested for internships though, not for sobriety reasons. No one at my new job is trying to be sober. My manager reeked of marijuana. If my dad weren't randomly drug testing me, I think I'd be in for some real trouble.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 398
Morning all!
40 days sober today! I never thought I would go that long! I’m on way to drop girlie to school then on to work! The joys of constant stuff to sort haha! My knee is still really sore but that will teach me to look where I’m going and pick my feet up! Who would have thought a speed bump could cause damage!!
Lovely to see you all here and welcome to our new members! I’m glad you had a good birthday willow! I live by a day at a time and it definitely helps me!! Looks like it’s going to rain here today booooo but I have to admit I love it when I’m warm and cosy inside listening to it on the window!!
Have a fabulous day everyone!!
40 days sober today! I never thought I would go that long! I’m on way to drop girlie to school then on to work! The joys of constant stuff to sort haha! My knee is still really sore but that will teach me to look where I’m going and pick my feet up! Who would have thought a speed bump could cause damage!!
Lovely to see you all here and welcome to our new members! I’m glad you had a good birthday willow! I live by a day at a time and it definitely helps me!! Looks like it’s going to rain here today booooo but I have to admit I love it when I’m warm and cosy inside listening to it on the window!!
Have a fabulous day everyone!!
s ❤️ Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 338
Good Morning All!
I am back from vacation, it is good to be home. It was not our best vacation
I didn't have this site to fall back on and was at a loss on what to do. My husband hurried me along to pack and I forgot my laptop cord, this battery stinks.
I mentioned that I was sober before and I had most drinking scenarios pretty much figured out, but not this one. I mentioned that my husband likes a glass of wine with dinner and that is pretty much it, or is it? I can't make the same mistake twice, as I did with my first husband and I need to recognize red flags before the fireworks start shooting off.
He wanted me to plan our vacation some so I did. Eating seafood, shopping, sight seeing, hiking, a whole weeks worth. It did not go as planned and my husband and I drank through the whole vacation and ended it two days early. I just couldn't do the day in, day out drinking, he could. I was really surprised because we have never had a trip like this. Our trips are always full of activities and new experiences but not this time.
We spend a lot of time apart. I drink mostly alone, because if I get too wasted or too obnoxious, I am the only witness. I have been cool way too long with that. This was different. We would start drinking at noon and end by 9pm and it was not fun. I tried very hard to not partake in this adventure but was shamed into not wanting to enjoy his birthday with him. Like the alcoholic that I am, I followed.
I believe my husband has an alcohol problem too.
I don't know everything he does on the road and I know he occasionally has a beer, but I think those occasions are a lot more frequent then I had thought. I know it is not up to me to 'label' him, force him to do anything he is not ready for. I just never had that one on one situation where I felt pressured to drink and could not get out of it.
I did tell him yesterday that I could not do this again. My body will not stand for it and I have to stop drinking for my health sake. He then told me that there was really nothing else that he wanted to do or visit and we should go home. I was fine with that. We got home and I fixed dinner and he wanted his glass of wine, one got poured, but just for him.
Wow, that was an eye opener and I hate to say it changed my out look on the relationship I thought we had. Relationship's change and I have been burnt once, I don't want that to happen again.
So yesterday was Day 1 again for me. Sober days are more precious to me now and I think that will stick with me more then any hang over of passing out will.
I read through some of your posts and Free2Be, your post really hit about your son. I am having the same problem with mine. I had given him the same ultimatum, but I caved. We have a not so good relationship now. Bending to his disrespect of me didn't improve the disrespect. He is now just using me. He is marrying this awful girl in Sept. and wants to be at the wedding. I have not seen him in 3 years and he has pretty much indicated that he will not, he doesn't have the time, and I don't want to go to the wedding. We don't have much family on my side and me being there is, to me, a prop to show he has supportive family. He never even told me he was getting married to begin with. I found out from an elderly aunt weeks after they announce their engagement. She did it quite innocently but when I let him know that I knew he flew off the handle and wanted to know who told me, then no don't tell him. He has, or I should say had, a lot of friends and they all tried to talk him into dumping her way before this. Covid being what it is, kept him from dating others and, well, she hooked him in good.
My heart breaks for you because I am going through the same thing. I just have to step away from it all. He tears my heart out but I can't allow him to treat me the way he does. He is also very sick with kidney disease. Yesterday evening he texted me and said he wasn't feeling well and I just had to say sorry to hear it. He is not taking care of himself, is just short of needing dialysis, and she is only interested in her wedding. I just have to distance myself and pray for the best.
We are not the only ones going through this. I put an ambiguous post on FB and got messages from no less then a half dozen of my friends going through the same thing. You just don't know what people live with and too many of us have children who are estranged from us.
So here I am this morning. Struggling, but feeling better about taking care of myself.
Sorry for the long post. Y'all can now uncross your legs and use the bathroom now. I am finished, for now, and wishing everyone a good day.
One Thing
I am back from vacation, it is good to be home. It was not our best vacation
I didn't have this site to fall back on and was at a loss on what to do. My husband hurried me along to pack and I forgot my laptop cord, this battery stinks.
I mentioned that I was sober before and I had most drinking scenarios pretty much figured out, but not this one. I mentioned that my husband likes a glass of wine with dinner and that is pretty much it, or is it? I can't make the same mistake twice, as I did with my first husband and I need to recognize red flags before the fireworks start shooting off.
He wanted me to plan our vacation some so I did. Eating seafood, shopping, sight seeing, hiking, a whole weeks worth. It did not go as planned and my husband and I drank through the whole vacation and ended it two days early. I just couldn't do the day in, day out drinking, he could. I was really surprised because we have never had a trip like this. Our trips are always full of activities and new experiences but not this time.
We spend a lot of time apart. I drink mostly alone, because if I get too wasted or too obnoxious, I am the only witness. I have been cool way too long with that. This was different. We would start drinking at noon and end by 9pm and it was not fun. I tried very hard to not partake in this adventure but was shamed into not wanting to enjoy his birthday with him. Like the alcoholic that I am, I followed.
I believe my husband has an alcohol problem too.
I don't know everything he does on the road and I know he occasionally has a beer, but I think those occasions are a lot more frequent then I had thought. I know it is not up to me to 'label' him, force him to do anything he is not ready for. I just never had that one on one situation where I felt pressured to drink and could not get out of it.
I did tell him yesterday that I could not do this again. My body will not stand for it and I have to stop drinking for my health sake. He then told me that there was really nothing else that he wanted to do or visit and we should go home. I was fine with that. We got home and I fixed dinner and he wanted his glass of wine, one got poured, but just for him.
Wow, that was an eye opener and I hate to say it changed my out look on the relationship I thought we had. Relationship's change and I have been burnt once, I don't want that to happen again.
So yesterday was Day 1 again for me. Sober days are more precious to me now and I think that will stick with me more then any hang over of passing out will.
I read through some of your posts and Free2Be, your post really hit about your son. I am having the same problem with mine. I had given him the same ultimatum, but I caved. We have a not so good relationship now. Bending to his disrespect of me didn't improve the disrespect. He is now just using me. He is marrying this awful girl in Sept. and wants to be at the wedding. I have not seen him in 3 years and he has pretty much indicated that he will not, he doesn't have the time, and I don't want to go to the wedding. We don't have much family on my side and me being there is, to me, a prop to show he has supportive family. He never even told me he was getting married to begin with. I found out from an elderly aunt weeks after they announce their engagement. She did it quite innocently but when I let him know that I knew he flew off the handle and wanted to know who told me, then no don't tell him. He has, or I should say had, a lot of friends and they all tried to talk him into dumping her way before this. Covid being what it is, kept him from dating others and, well, she hooked him in good.
My heart breaks for you because I am going through the same thing. I just have to step away from it all. He tears my heart out but I can't allow him to treat me the way he does. He is also very sick with kidney disease. Yesterday evening he texted me and said he wasn't feeling well and I just had to say sorry to hear it. He is not taking care of himself, is just short of needing dialysis, and she is only interested in her wedding. I just have to distance myself and pray for the best.
We are not the only ones going through this. I put an ambiguous post on FB and got messages from no less then a half dozen of my friends going through the same thing. You just don't know what people live with and too many of us have children who are estranged from us.
So here I am this morning. Struggling, but feeling better about taking care of myself.
Sorry for the long post. Y'all can now uncross your legs and use the bathroom now. I am finished, for now, and wishing everyone a good day.
One Thing
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
welcome back OneThingAtATime 
I'm sorry your vacation was not all you expected it to be.
I remember when I was newly sober I had to think about every new situation and have at least the inking of a plan - what to do if others were drinking, what to do if I wanted to drink, what to do if they wanted me to drink too.
It's a lot of ground work but it's worth it. I also had to plan for unforeseen things like not being able to get online.
I had a variety of books readings and strategies that I could take anywhere, and that really helped.
I didn't work all this out in two weeks - it was a cumulative process. I'm sure your recovery will be the better now for knowing what not to do
as far as your relationship goes - there's nothing you need to decide today.
D
I'm sorry your vacation was not all you expected it to be.
I remember when I was newly sober I had to think about every new situation and have at least the inking of a plan - what to do if others were drinking, what to do if I wanted to drink, what to do if they wanted me to drink too.
It's a lot of ground work but it's worth it. I also had to plan for unforeseen things like not being able to get online.
I had a variety of books readings and strategies that I could take anywhere, and that really helped.
I didn't work all this out in two weeks - it was a cumulative process. I'm sure your recovery will be the better now for knowing what not to do
as far as your relationship goes - there's nothing you need to decide today.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by Dee74
sounds like your Inner Addict might be gearing up for an assault along the lines of
'see? you waste time and shirk responsibility sober anyway, so you may as well drink..' ?
D
'see? you waste time and shirk responsibility sober anyway, so you may as well drink..' ?
D
Still hanging in.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Hey everybody I’m jumping in at the tail end of May… I was in the April class and loved it but I had a full relapse over last weekend at a pretty rough funeral. I have been through this cycle a bunch over the past 10 (?) years and I usually go back to my old group but I decided I feel very different this time.
I’ve had my last drink, I’m closing the door, I am ready to embark on the next part of my life alcohol free.
I have a 24-hour chip in my pocket and I have 4 days sober.
I will be going to meetings. I am taking it slow re:sponsorship etc. For now just getting in the rooms when I need is about all I can commit to. But I can commit to leaving alcohol in my past.
I’ve had my last drink, I’m closing the door, I am ready to embark on the next part of my life alcohol free.
I have a 24-hour chip in my pocket and I have 4 days sober.
I will be going to meetings. I am taking it slow re:sponsorship etc. For now just getting in the rooms when I need is about all I can commit to. But I can commit to leaving alcohol in my past.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Welcome back Free2 and Plenny. 💕
Tomorrow is a big party. The first since covid in our main crowd. I’m sure the wine, beer, and later, weed, will be abundant. I don’t drink and drive, so I’m driving. That gives me a means to leave, also.
Tomorrow is a big party. The first since covid in our main crowd. I’m sure the wine, beer, and later, weed, will be abundant. I don’t drink and drive, so I’m driving. That gives me a means to leave, also.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1,189
Originally Posted by Jo43
Morning all!
40 days sober today! I never thought I would go that long! I’m on way to drop girlie to school then on to work! The joys of constant stuff to sort haha! My knee is still really sore but that will teach me to look where I’m going and pick my feet up! Who would have thought a speed bump could cause damage!!
Lovely to see you all here and welcome to our new members! I’m glad you had a good birthday willow! I live by a day at a time and it definitely helps me!! Looks like it’s going to rain here today booooo but I have to admit I love it when I’m warm and cosy inside listening to it on the window!!
Have a fabulous day everyone!!
40 days sober today! I never thought I would go that long! I’m on way to drop girlie to school then on to work! The joys of constant stuff to sort haha! My knee is still really sore but that will teach me to look where I’m going and pick my feet up! Who would have thought a speed bump could cause damage!!
Lovely to see you all here and welcome to our new members! I’m glad you had a good birthday willow! I live by a day at a time and it definitely helps me!! Looks like it’s going to rain here today booooo but I have to admit I love it when I’m warm and cosy inside listening to it on the window!!
Have a fabulous day everyone!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1,189
OneThingataTime- wow what a vacation. I'm sure you had completely different expectations for your trip. I'm sorry it turned out the way it did. Seems to me, you need to focus on what's best for you and your health. I don't know, cause I'm still figuring myself out, but if we can work on ourselves and get ourselves healthy again, everything else will fall into place.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Phoebe hiiiiii! That’s a great idea. I’m grateful I bought a car and that’s a big reason!
OneThing
i can totally relate to that experience. I can almost feel it. Times like these are so enlightening. I’ll look forward to seeing how it all unfolds for you. We’re here for you
hi Dee!
OneThing
i can totally relate to that experience. I can almost feel it. Times like these are so enlightening. I’ll look forward to seeing how it all unfolds for you. We’re here for you
hi Dee!
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Nottingham, UK
Posts: 150
Hi Everyone and thanks for the warm welcome .
Personally I'm on day 5 and tbh not looking forward to this weekend. I'll be at home alone (well except for my crazy old (21yo) ex stray cat who adopted me!) so temptation will surely come but being here with u lot really helps me.
And now for a Newbie q: What the heck is AV? Audio/visual? A Viking? Amazing Voice? < must be one of those I'm sure 😳.
.Personally I'm on day 5 and tbh not looking forward to this weekend. I'll be at home alone (well except for my crazy old (21yo) ex stray cat who adopted me!) so temptation will surely come but being here with u lot really helps me.
And now for a Newbie q: What the heck is AV? Audio/visual? A Viking? Amazing Voice? < must be one of those I'm sure 😳.
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by happylandfills
Welcome Jase and FiveTries! We're glad to have y'all here 
And for those of you discussing the normalization of substance abuse in the workplace... what is UP with that? My training for my new job went very well and I really like everyone there. However, closing time came around and my new coworkers started drinking and smoking pot after clocking out. I was so overwhelmed. Nobody offered me anything, thank goodness, because I'm not sure if I would have said no. I distanced myself from those who were partaking and found myself talking to the host. I asked him if everyone always gets wasted after work, and he said, "yes, but not me," so I confided in him and told him I'm a recovering addict. He knows that if he ever sees me getting into that stuff to slap it out of my hands. I'm glad I have one person to keep me accountable there.
I told my dad about my concerns with the environment. I don't want to set myself up for failure but I need this job. He understood my worries and we decided that I need to be randomly drug tested, since they don't do that at my new job. I agreed to it, and I know what'll happen in I fail a test- I'll be kicked out. Now I have no room for failure and I need to follow my rules.
And for those of you discussing the normalization of substance abuse in the workplace... what is UP with that? My training for my new job went very well and I really like everyone there. However, closing time came around and my new coworkers started drinking and smoking pot after clocking out. I was so overwhelmed. Nobody offered me anything, thank goodness, because I'm not sure if I would have said no. I distanced myself from those who were partaking and found myself talking to the host. I asked him if everyone always gets wasted after work, and he said, "yes, but not me," so I confided in him and told him I'm a recovering addict. He knows that if he ever sees me getting into that stuff to slap it out of my hands. I'm glad I have one person to keep me accountable there.
I told my dad about my concerns with the environment. I don't want to set myself up for failure but I need this job. He understood my worries and we decided that I need to be randomly drug tested, since they don't do that at my new job. I agreed to it, and I know what'll happen in I fail a test- I'll be kicked out. Now I have no room for failure and I need to follow my rules.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
