Class of May 2021 Support thread Part Two
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Yes! I’d love to see the dress tooOneThing 
Phoebe that’s fabulous news about your son getting hired
Coffee break and check in. I’m making sure I snack regularly to keep hunger at bay so the AV won’t ramp up as easily. Work is quiet today, so my thoughts are wandering. I need to keep focussing on positive things and gratitude.
I’m grateful to all of you here on SR ❤️
Phoebe that’s fabulous news about your son getting hired
Coffee break and check in. I’m making sure I snack regularly to keep hunger at bay so the AV won’t ramp up as easily. Work is quiet today, so my thoughts are wandering. I need to keep focussing on positive things and gratitude.
I’m grateful to all of you here on SR ❤️
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Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Hi Onething
I think its important not to get overwhelmed by too many things and too many leaps into the future.
They say one day at a time for good reason.
You can take it one day at a time and stay sober.
I also think you can plan for those 'full blown, 4 alarm pity party' days.
Use today as a template. What would you do differently?
Do something nice for yourself. Do something nice for someone else.
Do something, however small, that reaffirms your life and promotes the recovery you want so much.
and...feel better soon
D
I think its important not to get overwhelmed by too many things and too many leaps into the future.
They say one day at a time for good reason.
You can take it one day at a time and stay sober.
I also think you can plan for those 'full blown, 4 alarm pity party' days.
Use today as a template. What would you do differently?
Do something nice for yourself. Do something nice for someone else.
Do something, however small, that reaffirms your life and promotes the recovery you want so much.
and...feel better soon
D
Originally Posted by OneThingAtATime 
I am not having a good day.
I just don't ever learn and push myself well beyond my limits.
My husband has another job to go to up north. This is not a surprise, it happens often and I would bet that they will keep him out a good two weeks. It is only Tuesday and yet I see him not being home this weekend. I also knew that once I went outside, I would not want to come back in and I didn't, much to my Petey's dissatisfaction. I mowed the lawn instead and aggravated my back. I just push too hard, my daughter would have gotten to it. I spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool, by myself, reading and finishing my book. The pool was like a bathtub but I think the warm water helped.
I bought a dress that I saw on line for son's rehearsal dinner, if we even go. For the life of me I can't even open the package. I bought it because it is one I can wear anytime, so why not. Truth be told, it will always be the dress I bought to a wedding I just don't want to go to.
AV is kicking my butt right now. I thought that doing a wine:30 check in would help, but now I am the one sitting here crying.
My daughter is off with girls that she works with and won't be home for dinner. She is teaching summer school and they are all pretty much celebrating the fact they have small classes and pretty good kids. It really is great for them.
I didn't expect today to be so hard, but one doesn't plan for these days. That would be a ridiculous plan. This is a full blown, 4 alarm pity party.
What good would drinking do? I will really feel bad for lapsing, I won't sleep as well as I have been, I will feel bad tomorrow for sure.
I just have to remember that this too shall pass. I hate the highs and lows of getting sober.
One Thing
I just don't ever learn and push myself well beyond my limits.
My husband has another job to go to up north. This is not a surprise, it happens often and I would bet that they will keep him out a good two weeks. It is only Tuesday and yet I see him not being home this weekend. I also knew that once I went outside, I would not want to come back in and I didn't, much to my Petey's dissatisfaction. I mowed the lawn instead and aggravated my back. I just push too hard, my daughter would have gotten to it. I spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool, by myself, reading and finishing my book. The pool was like a bathtub but I think the warm water helped.
I bought a dress that I saw on line for son's rehearsal dinner, if we even go. For the life of me I can't even open the package. I bought it because it is one I can wear anytime, so why not. Truth be told, it will always be the dress I bought to a wedding I just don't want to go to.
AV is kicking my butt right now. I thought that doing a wine:30 check in would help, but now I am the one sitting here crying.
My daughter is off with girls that she works with and won't be home for dinner. She is teaching summer school and they are all pretty much celebrating the fact they have small classes and pretty good kids. It really is great for them.
I didn't expect today to be so hard, but one doesn't plan for these days. That would be a ridiculous plan. This is a full blown, 4 alarm pity party.
What good would drinking do? I will really feel bad for lapsing, I won't sleep as well as I have been, I will feel bad tomorrow for sure.
I just have to remember that this too shall pass. I hate the highs and lows of getting sober.
One Thing
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Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 338
Thank you everyone! You really are helping me to stay sober. I knew I had to do my wine:30 check in or I would have been sunk for sure.
I opened up the dress and took a pic of it, I just haven't figured out how to get it on here. Thank you all for getting me to open it. It is not an elaborate dress, it isn't black or red, but a nice navy blue and I have shoes to match it. I am over weight and that weight has taken years to get on me and is not going to come off magically. The thing I really liked about the dress is it has tummy control. If I wear a girdle, I can arrange the fabric nicely so I don't look like a stuffed pig.
Dee, thank you for being so wise. One day at a time is so important to remember and I didn't do that so well today. I had my whole week a disaster, into the weekend. I really never know how long my husband will be away, it could just be a one day job for all we know, but I did catastrophize it. That is dangerous.
I think the thing that I have to do most is take care of myself and know my limits. Pride does hit me hard and to ask my daughter to do something that I could normally do is hard. Asking for help is ok and honoring my limits is even better. Mowing the lawn was not my greatest idea.
I did do something nice today. It was for my Petey but it was still nice. He doesn't like being alone for long and he curled up on his lounge, face to wall and was pretty pitiful in his own way. I got him to sit on the couch with me and he promptly flopped down on my hand and was not going to let me go. I sat with him for way over an hour like that so he would be comforted. My good deed.
Thank you all. I am going to call this lucky 13 and finish my day.
Phoebe, congratulations to your son.
I will work on figuring out how to post this dress.
One Thing
I opened up the dress and took a pic of it, I just haven't figured out how to get it on here. Thank you all for getting me to open it. It is not an elaborate dress, it isn't black or red, but a nice navy blue and I have shoes to match it. I am over weight and that weight has taken years to get on me and is not going to come off magically. The thing I really liked about the dress is it has tummy control. If I wear a girdle, I can arrange the fabric nicely so I don't look like a stuffed pig.
Dee, thank you for being so wise. One day at a time is so important to remember and I didn't do that so well today. I had my whole week a disaster, into the weekend. I really never know how long my husband will be away, it could just be a one day job for all we know, but I did catastrophize it. That is dangerous.
I think the thing that I have to do most is take care of myself and know my limits. Pride does hit me hard and to ask my daughter to do something that I could normally do is hard. Asking for help is ok and honoring my limits is even better. Mowing the lawn was not my greatest idea.
I did do something nice today. It was for my Petey but it was still nice. He doesn't like being alone for long and he curled up on his lounge, face to wall and was pretty pitiful in his own way. I got him to sit on the couch with me and he promptly flopped down on my hand and was not going to let me go. I sat with him for way over an hour like that so he would be comforted. My good deed.
Thank you all. I am going to call this lucky 13 and finish my day.
Phoebe, congratulations to your son.
I will work on figuring out how to post this dress.
One Thing
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Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
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Hi friends!
I missed class yesterday because I needed a mental health day. Anxiety. 😣😓
I have an appointment today with a psychiatrist I’ve never met before and am worried he will just give me prescriptions for an antidepressant and benzo. I don’t want that, I want therapy. Not meds.
I’ll probably be anxious until the appointment at 3. I wish it was earlier just to get it over with but 🤷🏼♀️
I’m doing my best to remain calm before today and hopefully the appointment will go well.
I missed class yesterday because I needed a mental health day. Anxiety. 😣😓
I have an appointment today with a psychiatrist I’ve never met before and am worried he will just give me prescriptions for an antidepressant and benzo. I don’t want that, I want therapy. Not meds.
I’ll probably be anxious until the appointment at 3. I wish it was earlier just to get it over with but 🤷🏼♀️
I’m doing my best to remain calm before today and hopefully the appointment will go well.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I hope it goes well Kittencat. Like Dee said, it’s your call on what you take. I won’t take antidepressants either, they mess with me too much. Therapy is a good plan, to work through things ❤️
I’m off to bed, late for me, 10pm! Night everyone
I’m off to bed, late for me, 10pm! Night everyone
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 338
Thank you Dee!
Thank you all for getting me to open the package,
Here it is, nothing very special, plain but wearable for other occasions. The wedding rehearsal dress.
I am just going to have to do something about this whole situation, but once again, forcing it is only going to make things worse. The time will present its self when it is proper to tell son I don't want to go. I just have to trust the process, sometimes it is best to stay silent. I was so adverse to opening the package because I strongly feel I shouldn't go. By the time the wedding does roll around, less then 90 days now, it will be about 4 years since I have seen him, so we would be mere guests and that isn't right.
Oh well. I did stay sober for day 13, stupid but sober. I will have to take it easy today and let my body recover from my delusions of youth. PT, hot tub and rest. It is a great thing that I have enough reading materials around.
Now, the consequences of staying sober last night. I slept well and my sleep is getting better, even with pain. I don't feel guilty this morning or sick. I was able to talk with daughter last night about her day. She was looking forward to working with only 10 kids and she will be home early. Remote learning has been hard on the kids and about all of them did not have support at home. They have support now. Once she has a kid in her class, that child becomes hers for life.
Kittencat, I do hope all goes well for you today. If you are not comfortable with meds, don't go there. Meds do not solve the problem but can help you get to were you want to be. My daughter did go to therapy after her father died and took some antidepressants for a bit. She thought it was the cure but realized that she still had to do the hard work. She also realized that she had to get a lawyer to represent her in the settling of his estate. He didn't have much but everyone had a hand out and they were going to rip her off. They did not like the lawyer. She did get her fair share, nothing more, nothing less and it was the right thing to do.
Well, on with my day. I hope everyone has a good sober day.
Pheobe, I am thinking of your son and if this is his first day at his new job, I hope it goes well!
One Thing
s
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Good morning!☀️
Onething, thanks for sharing. Navy blue was the color my bridesmaids wore, with a white chiffon trim. Your dress looks like it has ruching? It’s hard to tell for sure, but if so, I find it very flattering. I’m rooting for you to wear it to the rehearsal dinner in a few months.
True story, FWIW, I had a years long rift with my parents. We did eventually get to a good place. I did have to set firm boundaries on my mother, though. But, it was around 4 years or so, then a gradual process.
Thanks for the well wishes for my son. I’m not sure when he starts. He still needs to bring in a SS card, ID, and get his schedule. I assume it will be sometime next week. He finishes school on Tuesday.
Kitten, good luck today. Maybe just lay it out there right away that you prefer therapy over medicine? I also tried 3-4 antidepressants years ago. Mostly, I got fat and was tired a lot. I did get through some bad anxiety though. Good luck, and try to look forward to being helped rather than stressing over it. 💕. It’s great you can find someone. Around here it’s very difficult to find a therapist or psychiatrist with openings.
Onething, thanks for sharing. Navy blue was the color my bridesmaids wore, with a white chiffon trim. Your dress looks like it has ruching? It’s hard to tell for sure, but if so, I find it very flattering. I’m rooting for you to wear it to the rehearsal dinner in a few months.
True story, FWIW, I had a years long rift with my parents. We did eventually get to a good place. I did have to set firm boundaries on my mother, though. But, it was around 4 years or so, then a gradual process.
Thanks for the well wishes for my son. I’m not sure when he starts. He still needs to bring in a SS card, ID, and get his schedule. I assume it will be sometime next week. He finishes school on Tuesday.
Kitten, good luck today. Maybe just lay it out there right away that you prefer therapy over medicine? I also tried 3-4 antidepressants years ago. Mostly, I got fat and was tired a lot. I did get through some bad anxiety though. Good luck, and try to look forward to being helped rather than stressing over it. 💕. It’s great you can find someone. Around here it’s very difficult to find a therapist or psychiatrist with openings.
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Join Date: Nov 2020
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Thank you Venus and Phoebe!
Venus, I am not a big jewelry person, much to my husband's dismay. It makes it hard to buy me gifts, he says. I guess jewelry is the go-to for a lot of men. I do have some nice simple pieces that should go well with it.
Phoebe, it is so good to hear that you were able to mend the rift with your parents. It gives me hope. Boundaries are fine with me. It is really about respect. I may not agree with the whole situation, but they are adults starting their family and do deserve respect. If do not agree, keep that to myself, and respect what they are creating. They need to respect us too. I am hoping that we come to an understanding. Sometimes I think that be magical thinking on my part but I am hoping. I do like to read and I especially like the happily-ever-after books, but life is not always that way.
One Thing
Venus, I am not a big jewelry person, much to my husband's dismay. It makes it hard to buy me gifts, he says. I guess jewelry is the go-to for a lot of men. I do have some nice simple pieces that should go well with it.
Phoebe, it is so good to hear that you were able to mend the rift with your parents. It gives me hope. Boundaries are fine with me. It is really about respect. I may not agree with the whole situation, but they are adults starting their family and do deserve respect. If do not agree, keep that to myself, and respect what they are creating. They need to respect us too. I am hoping that we come to an understanding. Sometimes I think that be magical thinking on my part but I am hoping. I do like to read and I especially like the happily-ever-after books, but life is not always that way.
One Thing
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OneThing that dress is beautiful, very classic. I truly believe that anything you’re comfortable in will also look beautiful on you. Like my sweats and oversized NASA shirt! Haha you know what I mean
Willow — great point about doing something nice for milestones…. I’m 2 weeks sober and I’m going to get myself some really good lunch!
also I’m at the dentist and I may need to see an endodontist but there’s no huge cavity or anything awful I was afraid of! So I’m celebrating that too
Willow — great point about doing something nice for milestones…. I’m 2 weeks sober and I’m going to get myself some really good lunch!
also I’m at the dentist and I may need to see an endodontist but there’s no huge cavity or anything awful I was afraid of! So I’m celebrating that too
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: Georgia
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I really like the dress OneThing, I have one that's pretty similar. Black dresses are perfect for any occasion.
Kittencat I understand not wanting to be on meds. I refused too, at first, but my therapist explained that sometimes you just need an extra push in the right direction. Some people actually have a chemical imbalance which doesn't allow them to produce the right amount of hormones to be mentally healthy. I would tell them that you don't want meds, but if they recommend it I'd try to stay open to it. God knows where I'd be if I wasn't on Zoloft right now, I can't even imagine.
Kittencat I understand not wanting to be on meds. I refused too, at first, but my therapist explained that sometimes you just need an extra push in the right direction. Some people actually have a chemical imbalance which doesn't allow them to produce the right amount of hormones to be mentally healthy. I would tell them that you don't want meds, but if they recommend it I'd try to stay open to it. God knows where I'd be if I wasn't on Zoloft right now, I can't even imagine.
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Join Date: Nov 2020
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Thank you all for the compliments on the dress! Phoebe, I forgot to mention that it ruched through the whole waist and that is one of the reasons I bought it. It covers a multitude of sins.
I swear, I can not wait to find my belly button again 😯. Drinking makes fat settle in the middle along with all the drugs that I have taken for my neck and now back. I have tried so many different prescriptions to alleviate pain over the last 5 years and everyone of them had weight gain as a side effect. I guess that my body thought it was an order because I am up 6 sizes from when I started. I am way too short for my weight. It is going to take time to get all this off me.
Plenny, I am glad your appointment went well.
Happy, you are right about some people needing medication. I have one good friend that has suffered from depression for a good deal of her life until antidepressants came out. She did self medicate with weed and alcohol all through her 20's and most of her 30's till she was diagnosed properly. Antidepressants have been a Godsend to her and so many.
I am doing my wine:30 check and today I am much better AV wise. I did my exercises, sat in the hot tub and then sat around the house. The cat seemed to be glad, I thought, but it turns out he just wanted to watch daytime tv. Oh well.
My husband just called and he will be home tomorrow! I was catastrophizing things. He will have to leave on Sunday, but he will be home for a couple of days. He is up near where his brother has a summer place and usually gets to meet with him for dinner while there. He and his partner have not made it up there yet. His partner has cancer and has had a relapse. I really do hate that.
So that is me for today. Quiet, in front of the tv, and getting daughter to pick up pizza in a bit. Like I did with wine, we will hide the evidence. Garbage comes tomorrow and the pizza box will be gone, husband none the wiser. Old habits. Pizza sends my husband's sugar way too high. We try to eat things that we like and he can't eat when he isn't home.
Have a good sober evening all. Thank you for being here and especially getting me through last night!
One Thing
I swear, I can not wait to find my belly button again 😯. Drinking makes fat settle in the middle along with all the drugs that I have taken for my neck and now back. I have tried so many different prescriptions to alleviate pain over the last 5 years and everyone of them had weight gain as a side effect. I guess that my body thought it was an order because I am up 6 sizes from when I started. I am way too short for my weight. It is going to take time to get all this off me.
Plenny, I am glad your appointment went well.
Happy, you are right about some people needing medication. I have one good friend that has suffered from depression for a good deal of her life until antidepressants came out. She did self medicate with weed and alcohol all through her 20's and most of her 30's till she was diagnosed properly. Antidepressants have been a Godsend to her and so many.
I am doing my wine:30 check and today I am much better AV wise. I did my exercises, sat in the hot tub and then sat around the house. The cat seemed to be glad, I thought, but it turns out he just wanted to watch daytime tv. Oh well.
My husband just called and he will be home tomorrow! I was catastrophizing things. He will have to leave on Sunday, but he will be home for a couple of days. He is up near where his brother has a summer place and usually gets to meet with him for dinner while there. He and his partner have not made it up there yet. His partner has cancer and has had a relapse. I really do hate that.
So that is me for today. Quiet, in front of the tv, and getting daughter to pick up pizza in a bit. Like I did with wine, we will hide the evidence. Garbage comes tomorrow and the pizza box will be gone, husband none the wiser. Old habits. Pizza sends my husband's sugar way too high. We try to eat things that we like and he can't eat when he isn't home.
Have a good sober evening all. Thank you for being here and especially getting me through last night!
One Thing
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone. These cold mornings are making it more difficult to get out of bed and go to work. I’m glad the weekend is coming. I have been working extra hours for a few weeks as someone is away, and it’s exhausting me. I need a rest this weekend.
Onething, I do like the dress, black is my favourite for dresses. I also really like sleeves I agree that even with meds, you still have to do the work. I’m glad you have a good relationship with your daughter. Maybe in time, things will improve with your son.
Phoebe that’s how I found antidepressants. I got fatter and tireder. And the last one made me feel really sick. I gave up on them, but I have found that SAM-e helps me a lot. I have researched it and it’s got some science backing its effectiveness. I did see a couple of counsellors for a while which helped a lot I think. One of them highly recommended SAM-e but I had already started taking it on the advice of a doctor who was quite interested in alternative therapies. It works for me.
Happy I totally agree that meds are right for some people. I think they really can help in many people and situations.
Kittencat, let us know how you are, we’ll be thinking of you ❤️
Plenny I hope you enjoy the pie!
I’m on day 25 and I think I’m going to buy myself some hiking boots on the weekend. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks now. It can be my reward this weekend
For now, I need to drag my butt out of bed and get ready for work.
Onething, I do like the dress, black is my favourite for dresses. I also really like sleeves
I agree that even with meds, you still have to do the work. I’m glad you have a good relationship with your daughter. Maybe in time, things will improve with your son. Phoebe that’s how I found antidepressants. I got fatter and tireder. And the last one made me feel really sick. I gave up on them, but I have found that SAM-e helps me a lot. I have researched it and it’s got some science backing its effectiveness. I did see a couple of counsellors for a while which helped a lot I think. One of them highly recommended SAM-e but I had already started taking it on the advice of a doctor who was quite interested in alternative therapies. It works for me.
Happy I totally agree that meds are right for some people. I think they really can help in many people and situations.
Kittencat, let us know how you are, we’ll be thinking of you ❤️
Plenny I hope you enjoy the pie!
I’m on day 25 and I think I’m going to buy myself some hiking boots on the weekend. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks now. It can be my reward this weekend
For now, I need to drag my butt out of bed and get ready for work.
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