Class of May 2021 Support thread Part Two
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Hi all!
what an active group.
Reading Chsnge your Brain change your body, by dr Amen, and Atomic Habits by James clear.
Mr Clear says that we should think about our habits as problem solving. Our brains are experts at trying to figure out solutions to problems in the easiest way. But we have different parts of our brains that govern different things.
We drink to solve (you fill it in for yourself). Cue, craving, response, reward. Must be working somehow. Says we should be self aware of our habits, and if they are effective for the person we wish to be, or not.
Conscious effort will change habits, not hope, or dreaming.
Im doing well, and have read all of your posts, although didn’t have time to give ‘thanks’ on all posts lasts few pages.
Love and hugs to all my peeps.
PS
Like Dee’s advice, similar to Mr Clears in his book. Cast votes (do things) that support who you want to be.
✅ I brushed my teeth to length of timer twice today
✅ I flossed before bedtime
✅ I placed and kept a whitening strip on my teeth for thirty minutes today.
✅ I rolled out my stretch mat and layer there stretched out for three minutes
✅ I chose water and coffee today over alcohol
✅ I hiked five miles today
✅I listed at least 5 things I was grateful for today in my diary
✅ I read about ways to be aware of whether each of my habits are effective, ineffective, or neutral.
These are the votes I cast today for myself to become the person I wish to be. The more votes are cast, the more ingrained the behavior, the more the thinking part of my brain is in control, and the BEAST part of my brain weakens.
cast some positive votes for yourself everyone !
what an active group.
Reading Chsnge your Brain change your body, by dr Amen, and Atomic Habits by James clear.
Mr Clear says that we should think about our habits as problem solving. Our brains are experts at trying to figure out solutions to problems in the easiest way. But we have different parts of our brains that govern different things.
We drink to solve (you fill it in for yourself). Cue, craving, response, reward. Must be working somehow. Says we should be self aware of our habits, and if they are effective for the person we wish to be, or not.
Conscious effort will change habits, not hope, or dreaming.
Im doing well, and have read all of your posts, although didn’t have time to give ‘thanks’ on all posts lasts few pages.
Love and hugs to all my peeps.
PS
Like Dee’s advice, similar to Mr Clears in his book. Cast votes (do things) that support who you want to be.
✅ I brushed my teeth to length of timer twice today
✅ I flossed before bedtime
✅ I placed and kept a whitening strip on my teeth for thirty minutes today.
✅ I rolled out my stretch mat and layer there stretched out for three minutes
✅ I chose water and coffee today over alcohol
✅ I hiked five miles today
✅I listed at least 5 things I was grateful for today in my diary
✅ I read about ways to be aware of whether each of my habits are effective, ineffective, or neutral.
These are the votes I cast today for myself to become the person I wish to be. The more votes are cast, the more ingrained the behavior, the more the thinking part of my brain is in control, and the BEAST part of my brain weakens.
cast some positive votes for yourself everyone !
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Today turned out to be very tough for me. I enjoyed reading all your posts and updates.
I was carrying around some sadness which made me extra vulnerable and kind of spaced out. Also the extra sensitivity I have on days like these makes me kind of narcissistic, like things are happening because of me or are my fault or everyone hates me or people see through my mask to my true self and that’s not likeable, and bla bla bla.
some days the feelings of low self worth creep in and I’m at risk. Today was close. But do I want a drink? Might as well ask me if I want to spend too much money plunging into a nauseated and amplified anxious state in which I also might put someone else at risk of being harmed because I’ll probably drive a car, and then feel horrible and even more anxious over the next three days and have to clean up the mess I made. And sometimes that mess is permanent damage. So no. I guess that’s what playing the tape through is
I was carrying around some sadness which made me extra vulnerable and kind of spaced out. Also the extra sensitivity I have on days like these makes me kind of narcissistic, like things are happening because of me or are my fault or everyone hates me or people see through my mask to my true self and that’s not likeable, and bla bla bla.
some days the feelings of low self worth creep in and I’m at risk. Today was close. But do I want a drink? Might as well ask me if I want to spend too much money plunging into a nauseated and amplified anxious state in which I also might put someone else at risk of being harmed because I’ll probably drive a car, and then feel horrible and even more anxious over the next three days and have to clean up the mess I made. And sometimes that mess is permanent damage. So no. I guess that’s what playing the tape through is
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
I think I need to figure out where to go swimming soon. My last binge, when I went to the funeral, ended with me in a cold shower thinking about how this needed to be the last time. I felt cleansed and baptized by the water, in my state. I plan to write about it, although the details are pretty embarrassing. It’s a moment I don’t want to forget.
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: Georgia
Posts: 56
Struggling today. I woke up with intense drug cravings and I'm not sure why. I stayed up late last night playing D&D with my boyfriend and his friends and it was pretty fun, I was a little anxious but I had a good time. I don't know why I feel the way I do right now after having a good night. I have to go to work in a few hours so hopefully that'll distract me. As much as I want to take the edge off and get high I can't. If my dad weren't random drug testing me, I'd probably already have caved again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Plenny, thanks for sharing. I think it’s important to get the feelings out of our heads, and in front of us, rather than burying them. I’ve shifted from being a person who let the feelings flow, maybe too freely, to stifling and suppressing difficult feelings. Part of that was just about not having time to let it flow, trying to get life done. Good for you for finding your way to expressing it. 💕
Happy, I’m not sure if this is part of what’s going on with you, but sometimes after a fun, social, but very stimulating time, my brain is buzzing, replaying the time, over analyzing conversations, or just plain overstimulated. It cause a strong restless feeling. I think that feeling has contributed to my relapses after making it that’s party or event sober. Sometimes, at least in early sobriety, I need to avoid situations that are too taxing like that. I think it’s why I relapsed last Saturday. I’d gotten through one big party, then there was another a week later. So, now comes figuring out how to manage that overwhelming feeling and not drink/use.
And all that rambling takes us to the awesome post made by Free!! Lots of good advice in creating new behaviors and healthy habits. Thank you for sharing Free. 👍🏻
Happy, I’m not sure if this is part of what’s going on with you, but sometimes after a fun, social, but very stimulating time, my brain is buzzing, replaying the time, over analyzing conversations, or just plain overstimulated. It cause a strong restless feeling. I think that feeling has contributed to my relapses after making it that’s party or event sober. Sometimes, at least in early sobriety, I need to avoid situations that are too taxing like that. I think it’s why I relapsed last Saturday. I’d gotten through one big party, then there was another a week later. So, now comes figuring out how to manage that overwhelming feeling and not drink/use.
And all that rambling takes us to the awesome post made by Free!! Lots of good advice in creating new behaviors and healthy habits. Thank you for sharing Free. 👍🏻
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Originally Posted by happylandfills 
Struggling today. I woke up with intense drug cravings and I'm not sure why. I stayed up late last night playing D&D with my boyfriend and his friends and it was pretty fun, I was a little anxious but I had a good time. I don't know why I feel the way I do right now after having a good night. I have to go to work in a few hours so hopefully that'll distract me. As much as I want to take the edge off and get high I can't. If my dad weren't random drug testing me, I'd probably already have caved again.
sAnd I think your plan is good ~ distract yourself with work.
And be proud of yourself for sitting with the hard stuff and not caving. xx
s
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 338
Good morning all?
First there have been so many good posts on here!
Plenny, I also remember doing so many embarrassing things, especially before I got sober the first time. I have now stopped before the things that I find unacceptable sober, became acceptable once drunk. I have an embarrassing list. I honestly think the worst was when I was drunk and decided to do the dishes. My son was visiting and I passed gas, or so I thought. My son said "MOM!" and I said " What, I just passed gas, you guys do it all the time and think it is funny." Son pointed out that my gas was running down my leg and son-of-gun if, out of some kind of pride, I just finish doing the dishes before I cleaned myself up. That is messed up. It is kind of funny, but yet so pitiful. Never ever do I want to repeat something like that again. I was bad and I refuse to get that bad again, and yet that is where I have been heading.
Free, that was a great post and 100% true. I did go to AA once upon a time and there was a woman there that couldn't stop drinking as hard as she wanted to. She shared a lot of issues that she was avoiding dealing with. One old timer told her she would never stop drinking because drinking was serving her purpose to keep her from dealing with things she had to deal with. That hit me hard and has always stayed with me.
Now me. I made it through day 14, two whole weeks! I was one miserable b#tch yesterday. I never should have mowed that lawn. I was in terrible pain all day and the night only made it worse. The cat even stayed away from me. My back hurt up to 10 level, it took me forever to go to sleep and then I woke at 2:30 with it going into my fanny, horribly into my thigh, and some down into my calf and foot. I friggin HURT!
I did call the doc this morning and, though it has never happened before, it is something that I will get through and it is kind of the healing process. He did inject me with steroids during the procedure and they have just worn off. My nerves are nothing but angry and this too shall pass. I don't know when or how but it will. I have tried ice, heat, Tylenol and ibuprofen and nothing is touching it. Time and rest and I have to calm my temper down.
It is what it is and so I am still grounded. I also need some sleep in the worst possible way, but can't get comfortable to save my life. Today should be fun, but I will not drink. I may take some Benadryl to knock me out. Is that cheating? I hope not because I think that is the only way I am going to really get some sleep. I will try valerian tea first, but I don't think that will be strong enough to get me to relax and sleep.
Have a good sober day all! Two weeks for me and I am going to saver that milestone!
One Thing
First there have been so many good posts on here!
Plenny, I also remember doing so many embarrassing things, especially before I got sober the first time. I have now stopped before the things that I find unacceptable sober, became acceptable once drunk. I have an embarrassing list. I honestly think the worst was when I was drunk and decided to do the dishes. My son was visiting and I passed gas, or so I thought. My son said "MOM!" and I said " What, I just passed gas, you guys do it all the time and think it is funny." Son pointed out that my gas was running down my leg and son-of-gun if, out of some kind of pride, I just finish doing the dishes before I cleaned myself up. That is messed up. It is kind of funny, but yet so pitiful. Never ever do I want to repeat something like that again. I was bad and I refuse to get that bad again, and yet that is where I have been heading.
Free, that was a great post and 100% true. I did go to AA once upon a time and there was a woman there that couldn't stop drinking as hard as she wanted to. She shared a lot of issues that she was avoiding dealing with. One old timer told her she would never stop drinking because drinking was serving her purpose to keep her from dealing with things she had to deal with. That hit me hard and has always stayed with me.
Now me. I made it through day 14, two whole weeks! I was one miserable b#tch yesterday. I never should have mowed that lawn. I was in terrible pain all day and the night only made it worse. The cat even stayed away from me. My back hurt up to 10 level, it took me forever to go to sleep and then I woke at 2:30 with it going into my fanny, horribly into my thigh, and some down into my calf and foot. I friggin HURT!
I did call the doc this morning and, though it has never happened before, it is something that I will get through and it is kind of the healing process. He did inject me with steroids during the procedure and they have just worn off. My nerves are nothing but angry and this too shall pass. I don't know when or how but it will. I have tried ice, heat, Tylenol and ibuprofen and nothing is touching it. Time and rest and I have to calm my temper down.
It is what it is and so I am still grounded. I also need some sleep in the worst possible way, but can't get comfortable to save my life. Today should be fun, but I will not drink. I may take some Benadryl to knock me out. Is that cheating? I hope not because I think that is the only way I am going to really get some sleep. I will try valerian tea first, but I don't think that will be strong enough to get me to relax and sleep.
Have a good sober day all! Two weeks for me and I am going to saver that milestone!
One Thing
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Hi friends!
My appointment with the psychiatrist went well but I did have to meet him halfway on meds. He won't have me stay on them but I'm trying out a different antidepressant instead of an SSRI and the smallest dose of a benzo available. They will be ones I can get off easily if they're not helping. I meet him again next Wednesday. I was an anxious mess at the appointment so I can understand why he wants me to try. I'll post more later as I need to make lunch. x
My appointment with the psychiatrist went well but I did have to meet him halfway on meds. He won't have me stay on them but I'm trying out a different antidepressant instead of an SSRI and the smallest dose of a benzo available. They will be ones I can get off easily if they're not helping. I meet him again next Wednesday. I was an anxious mess at the appointment so I can understand why he wants me to try. I'll post more later as I need to make lunch. x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Originally Posted by happylandfills
Struggling today. I woke up with intense drug cravings and I'm not sure why. I stayed up late last night playing D&D with my boyfriend and his friends and it was pretty fun, I was a little anxious but I had a good time. I don't know why I feel the way I do right now after having a good night. I have to go to work in a few hours so hopefully that'll distract me. As much as I want to take the edge off and get high I can't. If my dad weren't random drug testing me, I'd probably already have caved again.
I said a lot of things that sounded silly to a lot of people and locked myself in my room with books and tv and food whenever possible lol
Good luck to you
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone
Free and Plenny, they were really great posts, thanks for sharing, they’re really helpful for me. To both focus on the positives, but also remember to play the tape forward when the urge to drink is overwhelming me.
Kitten I’m glad your appointment went well too, it sounds like a really good plan.
Happy, like Suze said, cravings are normal, but we don’t have to act on them.
Dee has posted a link to urge surfing (beating cravings) a few times, it’s really helpful. I’m not sure how to link to it, but maybe Dee or Suze might be able to?
Phoebe I really think the Sam-e helps. It doesn’t get rid of my depression entirely but it helps
Onething I really hope the pain settles for you soon, it must be awful to be in such pain. Congratulations on 2 weeks!
I’m feeling a bit down. A number of my friends are going to another music festival this weekend. I’m not going. After the disastrous one 4 weeks ago, I won’t be joining them. But I’m feeling sad. Not just missing out on the weekend, but just feeling the waves of depression and futility. My partner and I were going camping again but now he has to work this weekend. I really need to plan something nice for myself to do this weekend to try and dispel the blues.
Day 26 and I will NOT drink today. Or this weekend. Or ever.
But I will focus on today. One day at a time. I will not drink today.
Free and Plenny, they were really great posts, thanks for sharing, they’re really helpful for me. To both focus on the positives, but also remember to play the tape forward when the urge to drink is overwhelming me.
Kitten I’m glad your appointment went well too, it sounds like a really good plan.
Happy, like Suze said, cravings are normal, but we don’t have to act on them.
Dee has posted a link to urge surfing (beating cravings) a few times, it’s really helpful. I’m not sure how to link to it, but maybe Dee or Suze might be able to?
Phoebe I really think the Sam-e helps. It doesn’t get rid of my depression entirely but it helps
Onething I really hope the pain settles for you soon, it must be awful to be in such pain. Congratulations on 2 weeks!
I’m feeling a bit down. A number of my friends are going to another music festival this weekend. I’m not going. After the disastrous one 4 weeks ago, I won’t be joining them. But I’m feeling sad. Not just missing out on the weekend, but just feeling the waves of depression and futility. My partner and I were going camping again but now he has to work this weekend. I really need to plan something nice for myself to do this weekend to try and dispel the blues.
Day 26 and I will NOT drink today. Or this weekend. Or ever.
But I will focus on today. One day at a time. I will not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Just posted to you in another thread der Willow....that word....futility....I would challenge those thoughts.
Nothing about your life seems futile to me....I see love and hope and all things good. ❤️
Nothing about your life seems futile to me....I see love and hope and all things good.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 338
Wine:30 check. Still sober, still in pain.
I have had this procedure done twice on my neck and once on the left side of my back and never have I had pain come back worse a week later. I understood that as the nerve heals, this was a possibility, but gee, the cure seems worse then the disease. This could last a couple of days or weeks?
I did sleep on and off this afternoon. Husband is home and brought me flowers. My daughter is out picking up chicken. My husband has already brought up having a glass of wine or maybe a margarita in the hot tub tonight. I don't think so. The pain alone is already making me feel some what sick to my stomach.
Have a good sober evening all. This is all I got.
One Thing
I have had this procedure done twice on my neck and once on the left side of my back and never have I had pain come back worse a week later. I understood that as the nerve heals, this was a possibility, but gee, the cure seems worse then the disease. This could last a couple of days or weeks?
I did sleep on and off this afternoon. Husband is home and brought me flowers. My daughter is out picking up chicken. My husband has already brought up having a glass of wine or maybe a margarita in the hot tub tonight. I don't think so. The pain alone is already making me feel some what sick to my stomach.
Have a good sober evening all. This is all I got.
One Thing
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