Class of September 2020 Part 2
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,637
welcome summer of 76, Kim and Daytona.
Erica - no one can force you to undergo procedures you don;t want to - but I hope the ENT is a good one who will explain things, listen to your fears and perhaps address them for you,
Glad college is getting sorted FF,
D
Erica - no one can force you to undergo procedures you don;t want to - but I hope the ENT is a good one who will explain things, listen to your fears and perhaps address them for you,
Glad college is getting sorted FF,
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,853
Just back from the park gym. I'm desperately out of shape. Could only so five rep sets of push ups and five rep sets of half horizontal pull ups. Going to go to the park gym three times a week from now on and get fitter.
Really want to get out of for a run this morning but I need to rest after yesterday's run.
I'll be thirty in a few months so I really want to get in shape now and lose some weight. Don't want to start my thirties fat and unfit.
I'm glad too. It was really stressing me out and making me think of beer.
Really want to get out of for a run this morning but I need to rest after yesterday's run.
I'll be thirty in a few months so I really want to get in shape now and lose some weight. Don't want to start my thirties fat and unfit.
Glad college is getting sorted FF,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: London, UK
Posts: 8
I missed a few of my planned daily posts. This was partly by accident and partly because I was trying to work out what to say.
Sticking to a buprenorphine taper plan is not qute the same as sticking to being sober. For the most part, it is much easier, because in most taper plans, there is some built-in flexibility, so less self-discipline is required. The idea is to use the drug to live a healthy life, without cravings. Some people deliberately stay on it permanently, i.e. treat it like any medicine for a chronic condition, like diabetes.
However, I am determined to come off, but I don't want to take any risks. So, anyway, the news is that I chickened out of reducing my dose by 25% (from 2mg to 1.5mg) on Monday. Postponing a reduction, is very normal with buprenorphine tapers, reducing only when you are comfortable is part of the approach, because reducing too early can lead to a relapse, and to taking much higher doses or switching to an opiate with higher abuse potential. I was taking 8mg a day only a couple of months ago, and don't want to jeopardise that progress.
So, I am glad to say that I have stuck to 2mg, and not relapsed. My plan is to try to reduce tomorrow, so that I will have the weekend (when I have fewer triggers) for my body to stabilise on the new dose.
Thanks again to everyone for your support.
Matthew
Sticking to a buprenorphine taper plan is not qute the same as sticking to being sober. For the most part, it is much easier, because in most taper plans, there is some built-in flexibility, so less self-discipline is required. The idea is to use the drug to live a healthy life, without cravings. Some people deliberately stay on it permanently, i.e. treat it like any medicine for a chronic condition, like diabetes.
However, I am determined to come off, but I don't want to take any risks. So, anyway, the news is that I chickened out of reducing my dose by 25% (from 2mg to 1.5mg) on Monday. Postponing a reduction, is very normal with buprenorphine tapers, reducing only when you are comfortable is part of the approach, because reducing too early can lead to a relapse, and to taking much higher doses or switching to an opiate with higher abuse potential. I was taking 8mg a day only a couple of months ago, and don't want to jeopardise that progress.
So, I am glad to say that I have stuck to 2mg, and not relapsed. My plan is to try to reduce tomorrow, so that I will have the weekend (when I have fewer triggers) for my body to stabilise on the new dose.
Thanks again to everyone for your support.
Matthew
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,853
Well that's week 1 of college done. Missed one lecture and possible one lab due to not being registered but made it to everything else I was supposed to attend. Hopefully my registration will be sorted.
Had a meeting with a possible thesis supervisor yesterday which went well. Will be meeting her in the lab next week. I hope she agrees to supervise me. Will be revising the relevant second and third year material in preparation for the meeting.
Just back from a short 2km walk. The weather was very fresh, windy and raining.
AV is very quiet. I'm too focused on college and exercise to think about drinking. I really think my drinking days are behind me. I cause too much pain to others and myself with my drinking. It has no place in my life.
Had a meeting with a possible thesis supervisor yesterday which went well. Will be meeting her in the lab next week. I hope she agrees to supervise me. Will be revising the relevant second and third year material in preparation for the meeting.
Just back from a short 2km walk. The weather was very fresh, windy and raining.
AV is very quiet. I'm too focused on college and exercise to think about drinking. I really think my drinking days are behind me. I cause too much pain to others and myself with my drinking. It has no place in my life.
Erica375
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: MA
Posts: 493
Good morning! Feeling much more balanced today. Venuscat, you hit the nail on the head! The craziness I was feeling was exactly like adolescence! Sigh. Thought I'd be done with that by now. 😄
Dee, I thought about what you said and you're right. I do not have to consent to surgery. I realized my fear is that I'll be talked into it. Irrational. I was feeling weak and wimpy and subconsciously remembering all the times I felt bullied or coerced into doing something because I "should." I have an appt with my nurse practitioner on the 29th. I want to discuss this with her before I make an appt with the specialist.
Freedomfries, I need to find some of your motivation to get my butt off the couch more often. Thank you for motivating me!
Patcha -- chips, fries, crisps, they're all cut potatoes fried in oil and doused in salt, the taste trifecta of carbs, fat, and salt. All are perfect for when you need to rage eat! 😄😄😄
Ok, time to get up off the couch and do something. Have a soberlicious day, everyone!
Dee, I thought about what you said and you're right. I do not have to consent to surgery. I realized my fear is that I'll be talked into it. Irrational. I was feeling weak and wimpy and subconsciously remembering all the times I felt bullied or coerced into doing something because I "should." I have an appt with my nurse practitioner on the 29th. I want to discuss this with her before I make an appt with the specialist.
Freedomfries, I need to find some of your motivation to get my butt off the couch more often. Thank you for motivating me!
Patcha -- chips, fries, crisps, they're all cut potatoes fried in oil and doused in salt, the taste trifecta of carbs, fat, and salt. All are perfect for when you need to rage eat! 😄😄😄
Ok, time to get up off the couch and do something. Have a soberlicious day, everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1,189
Day 4, got a decent nights sleep, up too early, but drinking my coffee, feeling good. Trying to get up early so I'm tired earlier and can avoid late night drinking confrontations with the hubby. Going to do some deliveries today, do online school with my son, and watch football at 5:30. Cub Scouts at 630. So at least i have a schedule! Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 14
Hi all! Day 4 for me as well! Feeling so confident and determined! It’s strange how admitting the truth about myself has actually freed my mind from my urge to drink... at least for now. But I don’t want to slow my roll and worry about what would happen if this feeling goes away. I just have steps planned just in case it does. Thanks all for being here for me to vent to and stay accountable with!
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Hello gang,
Still ticking along nicely here in my fifth week. I've been for my first proper haircut (not counting hacking at it wildy myslef) since lockdown started so i no longer look like the Hair Bear
. I've not got much else to add really, it's been a fairly quiet week.
Welcome Summerof76, Kim & Daytona
Matthew - good to hear from you - sounds like you're doing well
Anyway.... time for some Coffee.
Still ticking along nicely here in my fifth week. I've been for my first proper haircut (not counting hacking at it wildy myslef) since lockdown started so i no longer look like the Hair Bear
. I've not got much else to add really, it's been a fairly quiet week.Welcome Summerof76, Kim & Daytona
Matthew - good to hear from you - sounds like you're doing well
Anyway.... time for some Coffee.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Day 17... Feeling human again. This took a VERY LONG TIME. My BFF has over 25 years sober through AA so I'm working the steps with her. I do not identify with it very much by I'll give it my best for her as she says it is helping her to work them again as well. Why not? I really have worked through all the same concepts via SMART, This Naked Mind, Bex Weller, Alcohol Explained, Rational Recovery.... etc... It is all so repetitive... It's like what do you say to the soul that has tried it all and then still makes the choice to drink. Eventually I can see how one would throw their hands in the air and just give up. Sorry if this sounds negative. Love to all
btw... we are on Step 3 and been having 1 go 2 hour calls daily for 14 days in a row.
btw... we are on Step 3 and been having 1 go 2 hour calls daily for 14 days in a row.
Sharkez
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 64
After a good sleep last night and not yelping in pain every time i look to the side I was hoping for a productive day but as soon as I sat down to "eat the frog" i.e. do the most important thing on my to do list, I immediately felt exhausted.
Still, I've done several smaller tasks and I'm not giving myself a hard time.
I've been feeling really quite resentful of others again these past few days. The lack of common courtesy of the general public infuriates me at times. The amount of times I've gone out of my way to give people space or let someone through in the street recently and not even had my existence acknowledged makes me see red at times.
Also, everything is always a competition with me, it's exhausting. I'm pretty sure that's a reflection of my own lack of self esteem and my inner malaise. I guess recognition is the first step towards rectification.
Have a good day everyone.
Still, I've done several smaller tasks and I'm not giving myself a hard time.
I've been feeling really quite resentful of others again these past few days. The lack of common courtesy of the general public infuriates me at times. The amount of times I've gone out of my way to give people space or let someone through in the street recently and not even had my existence acknowledged makes me see red at times.
Also, everything is always a competition with me, it's exhausting. I'm pretty sure that's a reflection of my own lack of self esteem and my inner malaise. I guess recognition is the first step towards rectification.
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,715
Originally Posted by Sharkez 
After a good sleep last night and not yelping in pain every time i look to the side I was hoping for a productive day but as soon as I sat down to "eat the frog" i.e. do the most important thing on my to do list, I immediately felt exhausted.
Still, I've done several smaller tasks and I'm not giving myself a hard time.
I've been feeling really quite resentful of others again these past few days. The lack of common courtesy of the general public infuriates me at times. The amount of times I've gone out of my way to give people space or let someone through in the street recently and not even had my existence acknowledged makes me see red at times.
Also, everything is always a competition with me, it's exhausting. I'm pretty sure that's a reflection of my own lack of self esteem and my inner malaise. I guess recognition is the first step towards rectification.
Have a good day everyone.
Still, I've done several smaller tasks and I'm not giving myself a hard time.
I've been feeling really quite resentful of others again these past few days. The lack of common courtesy of the general public infuriates me at times. The amount of times I've gone out of my way to give people space or let someone through in the street recently and not even had my existence acknowledged makes me see red at times.
Also, everything is always a competition with me, it's exhausting. I'm pretty sure that's a reflection of my own lack of self esteem and my inner malaise. I guess recognition is the first step towards rectification.
Have a good day everyone.
So we can maybe feel sorry for the selfish ones....they are missing out on what this life thing is all about.
s
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,599
Good morning Septemberinos. It's a relief to have passed through the craving phase. I'm not taking it for granted though and I'll keep doing the things that I think are helping me stay craving free. Have a great day all!
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