Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 8
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Just a fly by, it’s NYE here in NZ, my first one sober since I was a teenager. I know I won’t drink, I have my mocktail ingredients ready. It’s my partner’s birthday on the 1st so we always host a party. I really don’t feel tempted to drink, that won’t happen, but if I am honest I do have that slight feeling of missing out. I know it is just AV in a different form, sneaky little beast that it is.
Have a safe sober NYE everyone.
Have a safe sober NYE everyone.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,917
Hi everyone! NYE here as well of course. It’s not even 5 a.m. and I’m up and getting ready to go work out. What a difference a year makes. Okay I probably won’t be up tomorrow at 5 but it will just be because I’ll hopefully get to sleep in a bit.
I’m also trying to take another day at least mostly off work. I’ll probably carve out some time to do a bit of reading and get through some emails but it seems like most people are taking off so barring one emergency situation I’ve so far been getting away with either not working or like yesterday a bit of reading. Yes!! I just hope it doesn’t make it harder to return. This time has felt so precious to me. To not be constantly in a hurry but still late everywhere. To not feel like I’ve got nothing in the tank to weather frustrations. Just have to be glad for the time I got I suppose!
Hi NC!
Scotty good luck tonight and tomorrow. We host a party every NYD and it was always yet another excuse to drink all day and into the night for me. Always with my cup in hand. I guess I’ll still have a cup in my hand but it’s going to be full of virgin Bloody Mary or sparkling water.
Chase, you out there? BTLover??
I’m also trying to take another day at least mostly off work. I’ll probably carve out some time to do a bit of reading and get through some emails but it seems like most people are taking off so barring one emergency situation I’ve so far been getting away with either not working or like yesterday a bit of reading. Yes!! I just hope it doesn’t make it harder to return. This time has felt so precious to me. To not be constantly in a hurry but still late everywhere. To not feel like I’ve got nothing in the tank to weather frustrations. Just have to be glad for the time I got I suppose!
Hi NC!
Scotty good luck tonight and tomorrow. We host a party every NYD and it was always yet another excuse to drink all day and into the night for me. Always with my cup in hand. I guess I’ll still have a cup in my hand but it’s going to be full of virgin Bloody Mary or sparkling water.
Chase, you out there? BTLover??
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
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Happy New Year, everyone! I'm super excited to finally step away from the chocolate and start to detox from all the junk I've been relentlessly consuming. As Numblady would say, I have 100% Body by Christmas Crap. We have a lot to do to pack up and go home, but later this afternoon I'll be reunited with my wifi (which is good and bad!) I hope everyone is enjoying their hangover-free day. 
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Happy New Year!! I stayed out way later than I meant to (even made it to midnight at the party!!) so today have been behind my imagined schedule. In my fantasy mind (the same mind where sobriety has me awakening in the pre-dawn gray like a more irreverent Pema Chodron every day without fail and weathering life’s stresses like a minor saint) I was going to be doing a challenging yoga class around 5:30 or 6. Um, instead I slept until almost seven and just cooked for our party some more and then shopped all morning. It’s my annual tradition to basically buy a new wardrobe at the thrift store (they have 50 percent off everything so you can do it for 100-300 bucks). Now I am lying on the bed trying to will myself to get up to continue the clean up and prep efforts for the party. Hope everyone is enjoying a sober day and getting ready to ease back into “normal”. Hugs!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Well shoot. I ate sugar today so tomorrow will be day one. I’m going to Belize in March so I must be bikini ready. So y’all are my accountability partners. I’m doing a step bet also and money is involved so that’ll help keep me accountable. I’m really mad at myself right now.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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CONGRATULATIONS, Numblady!!! 
So incredibly happy for you!!! I hope you find a great way to mark this milestone, even if it's just to continue to plan for a less stressful future at work (while eating cake, of course!)
Back to reality today! Due (in part) to my wifi situation, I was truly disconnected from work for a few days, which means my emails have piled up and there is a lot for me to respond to. I also need to pick up my dogs, drop off my kids, and at some point, dismantle Christmas so we can start preparing for our move. Everything has been on hold during the holidays, so today things will be ramping up at the job site (aka my house), and I'm sure that will prompt a lot of questions and decisions that need to be made. I get anxious whenever I think about moving back, because I've gotten used to living more simply and I know I will want to have a grand (complicated and completely thought-out) plan for where everything will go, what to move and what to donate, rather than just schlepping all of our old crap back in. Typing that helps me to see that I need to shift my thinking, and just focus on using the time and energy as wisely as possible, and remember that moving stuff back into the house doesn't mean that it has to stay there. I'm looking forward to setting up a home office "command center" (aka a small bedroom on the attic level) where I can keep myself organized and on track with my goals. Now that's fun to think about!
Hi to Dee, Sunflower, Scotty and NewChapter! I hope everyone has a good start to the new year.
So incredibly happy for you!!! I hope you find a great way to mark this milestone, even if it's just to continue to plan for a less stressful future at work (while eating cake, of course!) Back to reality today! Due (in part) to my wifi situation, I was truly disconnected from work for a few days, which means my emails have piled up and there is a lot for me to respond to. I also need to pick up my dogs, drop off my kids, and at some point, dismantle Christmas so we can start preparing for our move. Everything has been on hold during the holidays, so today things will be ramping up at the job site (aka my house), and I'm sure that will prompt a lot of questions and decisions that need to be made. I get anxious whenever I think about moving back, because I've gotten used to living more simply and I know I will want to have a grand (complicated and completely thought-out) plan for where everything will go, what to move and what to donate, rather than just schlepping all of our old crap back in. Typing that helps me to see that I need to shift my thinking, and just focus on using the time and energy as wisely as possible, and remember that moving stuff back into the house doesn't mean that it has to stay there. I'm looking forward to setting up a home office "command center" (aka a small bedroom on the attic level) where I can keep myself organized and on track with my goals. Now that's fun to think about!
Hi to Dee, Sunflower, Scotty and NewChapter! I hope everyone has a good start to the new year.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,917
Thank you Palmer!! This time last year I decided to take a day off.
And now here I am a year later. I feel...just kind of normal and with a headache ha! But obviously there are much deeper feelings as well. Will hope to eventually get those down in Stories of Recovery.
For now I will just say that on my shopping trip yesterday I found a shirt that says “My favorite bars are Chocolate”. It has a cool Lulu lemon looking cut (the same cut that I saw on a couple of ladies at yoga in TN and kind of envied). My thoughts are kind of jumbled about it but it reminds me of something I’m misremembering from one of my recovery books about letting fortuity unfold as a higher power. I’m not doing a good job of explaining it because it was more about happy coincidences revealing themselves as more of a traditional JudeoChristian God, not something more non-religious but I guess that’s what I took from it. Anyhow, I feel like some of that was at work. Or at least, I feel like I should take great joy in the coincidence.
Sunflower, let’s talk more tonight but I not only don’t think you should beat yourself up, I don’t think you should set such a strict bar for yourself. I guess it is motivational but it seems like it could lead to so many negative thoughts. Maybe I am just saying this because I’ve never been able to diet. I look forward to hearing more about your step bet if you can talk about it. I am not doing my best when it comes to money. I could use some inspiration!
Okay better get to doing yoga before the whole house including my parents is awake. I am jealous of the attic space Palmer mentions. I would really love to have a little place that is not in the middle of the living room floor in the center of our house to do yoga. Some day I hope to have a screened in porch or maybe more like a climate controlled sunroom...but that is many years away so for now I have to be in the middle of everything so I’d better get cracking!
Thanks for being with me on this journey so far.
And now here I am a year later. I feel...just kind of normal and with a headache ha! But obviously there are much deeper feelings as well. Will hope to eventually get those down in Stories of Recovery.
For now I will just say that on my shopping trip yesterday I found a shirt that says “My favorite bars are Chocolate”. It has a cool Lulu lemon looking cut (the same cut that I saw on a couple of ladies at yoga in TN and kind of envied). My thoughts are kind of jumbled about it but it reminds me of something I’m misremembering from one of my recovery books about letting fortuity unfold as a higher power. I’m not doing a good job of explaining it because it was more about happy coincidences revealing themselves as more of a traditional JudeoChristian God, not something more non-religious but I guess that’s what I took from it. Anyhow, I feel like some of that was at work. Or at least, I feel like I should take great joy in the coincidence.
Sunflower, let’s talk more tonight but I not only don’t think you should beat yourself up, I don’t think you should set such a strict bar for yourself. I guess it is motivational but it seems like it could lead to so many negative thoughts. Maybe I am just saying this because I’ve never been able to diet. I look forward to hearing more about your step bet if you can talk about it. I am not doing my best when it comes to money. I could use some inspiration!
Okay better get to doing yoga before the whole house including my parents is awake. I am jealous of the attic space Palmer mentions. I would really love to have a little place that is not in the middle of the living room floor in the center of our house to do yoga. Some day I hope to have a screened in porch or maybe more like a climate controlled sunroom...but that is many years away so for now I have to be in the middle of everything so I’d better get cracking!
Thanks for being with me on this journey so far.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Congratulations Numblady. You have some great reflections as well as planned changes. I think with a year of sobriety behind you, perhaps you are now notsonumblady and ready to tackle other things that you need for your wellbeing.
@ Sunflower, I totally caved on the sugar thing too, on reflection picking NYE which was followed by my partner’s birthday on the first (with GOOD cake) was not the smartest move. I felt annoyed with myself too, but have decided to let that go. I do recognise some of the same addiction type thoughts and behaviours with sugar as I did with alcohol, but it is a different thing and not such an all or nothing thing as alcohol is as sugar is in so much of what we eat even when being ‘good’. I had such wicked sugar cravings while doing a supermarket shop today, I don’t remember the alcohol ones being this powerful, but I know they were. I’m breaking my sugar free goal into a week at a time and allowing myself to have it if I go out for dinner (something I don’t do often). Somehow knowing it is allowed sometimes seems to help with not having it in the moment I want it in the right now. I may need to rethink this approach, but I think we need to cut ourselves some slack. One drink sets us back on a dangerous path, one chocolate bar is not the same thing and an easier clock to reset.
@ Palmer that can be problems with breaks, real life is lying in wait! I can imagine how you feel about all you want to organise before moving back in, but do remember to eat the elephant one bite at a time, it can be so overwhelming if you look at a job as a whole. When I moved back to NZ from NY I felt tremendous pressure to sort everything, especially my late husband’s stuff that I was not ready to let go of at that time even though a lot of it was junk. A friend gave me good advice to just box it up and put it in the shipping container and keep it in boxes until I was ready to decide what to do with it opening a box at a time (having written what was in each box as I packed. The boxes stayed in my garage for a while and I just worked my way through them at my own pace. Sometimes I had to live in my new space for a bit before knowing if something belonged there or not. I totally understand the desire to declutter, but as my friend said ‘so you move some junk with you until you are ready to deal with it - where is the harm?’
@ Sunflower, I totally caved on the sugar thing too, on reflection picking NYE which was followed by my partner’s birthday on the first (with GOOD cake) was not the smartest move. I felt annoyed with myself too, but have decided to let that go. I do recognise some of the same addiction type thoughts and behaviours with sugar as I did with alcohol, but it is a different thing and not such an all or nothing thing as alcohol is as sugar is in so much of what we eat even when being ‘good’. I had such wicked sugar cravings while doing a supermarket shop today, I don’t remember the alcohol ones being this powerful, but I know they were. I’m breaking my sugar free goal into a week at a time and allowing myself to have it if I go out for dinner (something I don’t do often). Somehow knowing it is allowed sometimes seems to help with not having it in the moment I want it in the right now. I may need to rethink this approach, but I think we need to cut ourselves some slack. One drink sets us back on a dangerous path, one chocolate bar is not the same thing and an easier clock to reset.
@ Palmer that can be problems with breaks, real life is lying in wait! I can imagine how you feel about all you want to organise before moving back in, but do remember to eat the elephant one bite at a time, it can be so overwhelming if you look at a job as a whole. When I moved back to NZ from NY I felt tremendous pressure to sort everything, especially my late husband’s stuff that I was not ready to let go of at that time even though a lot of it was junk. A friend gave me good advice to just box it up and put it in the shipping container and keep it in boxes until I was ready to decide what to do with it opening a box at a time (having written what was in each box as I packed. The boxes stayed in my garage for a while and I just worked my way through them at my own pace. Sometimes I had to live in my new space for a bit before knowing if something belonged there or not. I totally understand the desire to declutter, but as my friend said ‘so you move some junk with you until you are ready to deal with it - where is the harm?’
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all! Numblady, how was your day yesterday? I kept thinking about you, and hoping you were doing something nice for yourself (such as cake with Sunflower!) It's funny how it's just another day, isn't it?
Scotty, thank you for your wise insight, you are so right about the overwhelming feeling of attacking all the boxes and items at once. It makes no difference whether I move everything back really, we have plenty of room for all of our crap, and then some...I think it's more an issue of being self-critical, seeing a missed opportunity I could have addressed over the past 7-8 months. But really, there would still be lots of boxes that I don't have access to, so it will really just be a case of taking each one at a time and resisting the urge to just shove stuff in closets and cabinets. Of course, there is no real emotional attachment to 90% of the stuff anyway, which is something I can't imagine dealing with.
Hi to everyone else, I'll check in later!
Scotty, thank you for your wise insight, you are so right about the overwhelming feeling of attacking all the boxes and items at once. It makes no difference whether I move everything back really, we have plenty of room for all of our crap, and then some...I think it's more an issue of being self-critical, seeing a missed opportunity I could have addressed over the past 7-8 months. But really, there would still be lots of boxes that I don't have access to, so it will really just be a case of taking each one at a time and resisting the urge to just shove stuff in closets and cabinets. Of course, there is no real emotional attachment to 90% of the stuff anyway, which is something I can't imagine dealing with.
Hi to everyone else, I'll check in later!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,917
Morning.
BTLover, I hope you come back soon! Same with you, Chase. NC, hope to hear from you soon as well!
Scotty, ha! I may have to change to notsonumblady. That’s a perfect name. Notsonumbbutreallytiredandwanttogotosleepat8pm. I’ll have to look into it. I am so glad you are not beating yourself up. I have a friend here and he is in AA (I think...we don’t really talk about it...I just know he has some friends he meets with on a regular basis and it’s been over 3 years since he’s had a drink. He’s my friend’s husband so kind of a friend, kind of not exactly). Anyhow he is also working on no sugar but does give himself a cheat day. It’s something to consider if the dining out release valve isn’t enough.
I got to meet Sunflower last night after finally using a gift card for a “Foot Relax” massage which is like WAY more than just a foot massage and is more like an actual massage only you are fully clothed. Anyyyhow, glad I tried it! Then I got to eat with Sunflower and she gave me the greatest gift. A one year chip. I am seriously so proud of it I”m about to put a hole through it and wear it as a necklace
Ugh really dont’t want to work out but really need to. Pants are sooooo tight I feel like I get a bruise from anything with a waist line. Hope you all have a fabulous day!
BTLover, I hope you come back soon! Same with you, Chase. NC, hope to hear from you soon as well!
Scotty, ha! I may have to change to notsonumblady. That’s a perfect name. Notsonumbbutreallytiredandwanttogotosleepat8pm. I’ll have to look into it
. I am so glad you are not beating yourself up. I have a friend here and he is in AA (I think...we don’t really talk about it...I just know he has some friends he meets with on a regular basis and it’s been over 3 years since he’s had a drink. He’s my friend’s husband so kind of a friend, kind of not exactly). Anyhow he is also working on no sugar but does give himself a cheat day. It’s something to consider if the dining out release valve isn’t enough. I got to meet Sunflower last night after finally using a gift card for a “Foot Relax” massage which is like WAY more than just a foot massage and is more like an actual massage only you are fully clothed. Anyyyhow, glad I tried it! Then I got to eat with Sunflower and she gave me the greatest gift. A one year chip. I am seriously so proud of it I”m about to put a hole through it and wear it as a necklace
Ugh really dont’t want to work out but really need to. Pants are sooooo tight I feel like I get a bruise from anything with a waist line. Hope you all have a fabulous day!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Oh hi Palmer our posts crossed! I can totally see feeling that way. I also think it’s a factor of time. When I last moved I started systematically, putting the kids in bed, getting myself a big ol’ glass of wine and then carefully sorting through what to keep, what to donate. And then the move date got closer. By the end of it I was literally just pouring the contents of drawers into boxes. I’m more in a place where I’ll try to go through stuff if it gets hard to close a drawer or it really bugs me but in terms of my grand aspirations for scanning all our paper etc. it will just have to wait for retirement or something. One box at a time seems like a great approach to me. You and I both have to work to keep the scrolling to-do list quiet. Maybe just try to leave your body and pretend it was someone else doing your move. I doubt you’d think twice about whether they went through their stuff more deeply or not. You can show yourself some grace here and free up your mind for some of the many decisions you’ll have to make.
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