Dee74

no more zombie marshmallows ok, Steely?

we;ll be with you

I'm glad you worked though that Nands - I hope you can get some relief from the heat

Did you get the fog the other day Poppy? unreal.

Hi Kenton, Kev and any lurkers

D

Poppy79

Yeah the fog has been pretty awesome... sometimes looks a bit apocalyptic but in a good way
Was the marshmallow yummy Steely? Lol

kenton

I hope you get/got to see your mother's body today Steely. I'm Catholic (not a very good one!) and it's customary for the body of the deceased to stay back in his/her home the night before the funeral. It sounds weird but I found it very comforting having the time on my own with dad to say goodbye. At times like this you need to do whatever helps to get you through. If that means eating random pink marshmallows, do it. And that is odd that the marshmallow appeared just when you really needed it. I reckon your mum has got herself settled to look over you Steely. I'm thinking of you today, tomorrow when it's the funeral and everyday after that. Hope everyone is ok xxxx

Steely

It was sweet as sugar dear Poppy.

It wasn't a zombie Dee, fair dinkum. It was a dead set, dried out old pink marshmallow, but still very soft inside.

My love to all xxx

Poppy79

Thinking of you today Steely. Cry a lot if that is what you need to do. Reminisce about some good and funny times with your mum, nothing wrong with having a chuckle about fond memories.
Love ya xoxo

And a good morning to everyone in the Nobenders lounge. May your day/night be filled with pleasantries

Ananda

Hi Poppy ....

Things are ok here. It was cloudy enough to mow without dying.

kenton

Steely, hope today went as well as a day like today can go. I'm thinking of you xxxx

Ananda, glad you got the mowing done without dying! Sorry I haven't posted much lately. The real world has been encroaching on my SR time. Pesky real world. I've been promoted at work which is AMAZING and totally unexpected. Seems being sober for 8.5 months makes you awesome at your job. Who knew??? Got loads more responsibility but everyone at work seems to believe in me which I guess means I've got to start believing in myself.

I hope I don't go blind. There's a serious chance I will lose all the central vision in both eyes and at the start of the week I let the fear in and started to feel sorry for myself. Just couldn't bear never seeing my children's faces again. Anyway, seeing as I'm sober now, fear and anxiety and self pity never stay around for long and now I'm back. I'm determined to see as much as I can whilst I can and if blindness happens, I'll deal with it when it does.

Poppy, glad all is good with you. Yep, less than 4 months and we'll have one year under our belts. It's going to happen Poppy. I'm so excited. I might even bake a cake, blow up a few balloons and have a sober first birthday party in November. The first of many. Love you all, hope all is going well in Nobender Kingdom xxxx

Ananda

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better about things Kenton ... and really Congratulations on your promotion!

Let us know how it goes. My unsolicited advice is to be careful, start out right setting boundaries, and don't let your job own you.

The TV is currently exploding ... that is all I'll say ....

I'm going to Moms in a bit and will check back when I return tomarrow.

Steely ... I really hope things are going well as you sort yourself. You have a big strong group of women (plus Dee) supporting you

Poppy79

Pretty freaky Kenton, but I, too, recently got a huge promotion at work. Way more responsibility and everyone confident I can do it (but I had my doubts). Like Ananda says, be careful and aware of your boundaries. Twice I have had to put my hand up and say "hey, I'm treading water here and not coping great". Thankfully my employer is very understandable and also a good friend, so I felt comfortable telling her I was in a sticky situation. Hopefully your employer is awesome to
Congrats and I hope your eyes don't lose vision.
Glad to read you made it through mowing Nands... can I call you nands? Hope so.
A gorgeous Saturday here and I just had a nanna nap. Think I might toddle off to do some shopping and then take the fur babies for a walk.
Stay cool lovely peeps xoxo

kenton

Well done on your promotion Poppy! Hey, that can't be a coincidence can it? We both get sober for months and suddenly we're both promoted When I was drinking I knew I was over qualified for my position and sometimes I'd get seriously angry (in private of course and usually whilst secret drinking) when I felt I was being overlooked and other people were being promoted around me.

What's funny is since I got sober I haven't thought about promotion. My priority has been my sobriety and my family and I didn't realise that my improved performance was being noticed at work.

I hope you had a good time with your mum Ananda. Steely I hope you are ok. I hope everyone is xxxx

Dee74

Hope everyone is doing ok - congrats poppy and kenton

D

Poppy79

Yeah it's pretty amazing how good things happen when steering clear of the plonk.
I've been thinking quite a lot lately that I would just love to be a normal drinker and getting a bit down that i can't.... but then I see something (like driving home this arvo I saw 2 dudes sitting in their front yard drinking with the most depressing looks on their faces) and realise I am not missing out on anything other than horridness, shame, depression, hangovers, anxiety etc ect.
Oh and watching the show cops lol. My god, alcohol is so prevalent. How it remains socially accepted and legal amazes me.

kenton

I was talking about the exact same thing yesterday! My colleague who doesn't drink because she doesn't like hangovers was saying that every time you read in the news about some disaster on a night out.... A stabbing or a really bad accident, alcohol is ALWAYS involved. But still society doesn't seem to have the power to actually say, "alcohol is not a great drug everyone. It's responsible for immeasurable human misery, don't drunk it kids." Instead we have adverts showing young, attractive people sipping drinks and looking cool and attractive.

It's like that kid's story, "the emporers new clothes". Everyone knows alcohol is a poison and doesn't do anyone any good but we're all brainwashed to believe that you can't have fun without it. It's crazy when you think about it. Why would drinking poison make any occasion better?? One day I reckon society will lose its blinkers. But probably not for a very long while xxx

Poppy79

I agree. Bit like smoking, there was a long time where smoking was fully accepted and promoted. If you smoked you were sophisticated blah blah.... these days it's frowned upon and getting closer to being illegal (it would be by now if it weren't for those pesky, corrupt, greedy multi national corporations and their billions of dollars). I suspect similar companies own the booze labels. Why the medical associations all over the world aren't fighting harder to rid the plonk baffles me.

Steely

Thanks for being my friends and support.

The funeral went well with many people attending, which is unusual for a person age 93 who has few contemporaries left. If you can say a funeral was 'happy', Mum's was one. She would have been proud of us all.

I have not responded to anyone because feel in a bit if a blur, but improving. I'm going to take a few days break before I return with my head together. And my friends, it is a head that has been sober from start to finish. Thank you.

kenton

Good to hear from you Steely, I look forward to hearing from you again when you're ready.

So glad your mum's funeral was well attended and a happy celebration of her life. She would be so proud of you Steely. I'm so proud of you. The strength you're showing now Steely will help you so much on your future sobriety journey. Now the funeral is over, now is the time to make sure you take extra good care of yourself. We're here when you need us. Sending you lots of love xxxx

Ananda

It's always good to see you Kenton and Steely.

Things have been pretty intense the last few days. My counceling session dug way deep and I just don't feel back to normal life yet.

I truly think that now and in the future, knowing that your mum is proud of you will be a very uplifting knowledge.

I've been missing a lot of people who aren't in my life anymore. I also need to celebrate all the people who are in my life today. A woman in AA once told me ... "people come into your life for a while and then they go."

I use to be able to say that with a smile. It was a fact and didn't cause me too much pain. Lately it has been an extremely difficult truth to face.

OK ... I gotta go. I'll try not to watch too much TV and will be cooking a new dish for dinner tonight.

Thanks to all of you for being in my life. That is the most precious gift I can ever receive

kenton

Hi Ananda, I'm sorry you've had a rough couple of days. I hope you had a good dinner and are feeling ok now.

I know what you mean about missing people who used to be in your life. I think I pushed lots of people away when I was drinking. Now I wonder whether I'm doing the same now I'm sober. Maybe it's just me??? I always try my best to be friendly and kind but there always seems to be people who just don't like me. Latest evidence of this occurred yesterday when a group of mums at my kids school went out and went to great lengths to keep it secret from me. What I don't get is that I've done nothing but be pleasant to this group of women.

I have to admit I felt pretty upset on Saturday. No one likes being left out. But an amazing thing happened. I did a bit of mindfulness and noticed I was engaging in "all or nothing" thinking. I reminded myself that I have good friends who don't treat me bad and so what if one group of women have taken a dislike to me? It's not the end of the world. Apparently they all got messed up in the pub and no doubt felt hungover today. I don't do that anymore so it's probably just as well I got left out.

Feeling left out is a massive trigger for me. I think it dates back to when mum left me out every time she took my siblings anywhere. Anyway, I definitely need to work on my emotional responses when I'm left out (no one knew I was upset but I did cry in private). But great thing is I experienced a great big trigger and I didn't even think about drinking. That is amazing. Off to bed. Lots of love to everyone xxxx

Ananda

Oh Kenton!

You see ... we are not weird for feeling like people leave our lives. We may have pushed some out with or during our alchohlism, but people drift in and out of everyone's life. I have one friend that I knew from 4 years old on, but our contact sometimes goes dormit for years. Then we will be close for a year or 2. The girl that joined us at about 7 drifted out of my life, then showed up in AA years later and told me that she always remembered that I brought her a big book when she was in the hospital years ago and the seed was planted. I haven't seen her since. Another friend of ours at age 7 and on also comes in and out of my life.

Also, My friend Connie told me once that hardly anyone visited her after it was clear she was dying. Although it made her sad, it didn't make her mad. She told me that "people just don't know how to deal with you when they know you are dying". I suspect the same is true for those women. Some people just don't know what to say to us or how to be with us once we are sober. Others who were friends sober couldn't figure out how to be a friend if I was drinking.

In that respect I don't think it is personal. These people would have the same problem if the sober one was the best person in the world.

I'm glad the mindfulness helped you. It always is amazing to me when I re-discover that my mind is sometimes a liar!

I'm sure you are in bed right now. Steely and Poppy will just now be getting around and I think Kev is probably in bed too. Peace, I don't know what time you go by...so not sure if you are waking up or sleeping or getting ready for dinner . But I sure am glad you are joining us!

Dee74

I'm sorry you had that experience Kenton - invariably in those situations I think that I wouldn't want to be part of that group anyway.

good afternoon or whatever it is Nands

D