Hi Ananda, I'm sorry you've had a rough couple of days. I hope you had a good dinner and are feeling ok now.
I know what you mean about missing people who used to be in your life. I think I pushed lots of people away when I was drinking. Now I wonder whether I'm doing the same now I'm sober. Maybe it's just me??? I always try my best to be friendly and kind but there always seems to be people who just don't like me. Latest evidence of this occurred yesterday when a group of mums at my kids school went out and went to great lengths to keep it secret from me. What I don't get is that I've done nothing but be pleasant to this group of women.
I have to admit I felt pretty upset on Saturday. No one likes being left out. But an amazing thing happened. I did a bit of mindfulness and noticed I was engaging in "all or nothing" thinking. I reminded myself that I have good friends who don't treat me bad and so what if one group of women have taken a dislike to me? It's not the end of the world. Apparently they all got messed up in the pub and no doubt felt hungover today. I don't do that anymore so it's probably just as well I got left out.
Feeling left out is a massive trigger for me. I think it dates back to when mum left me out every time she took my siblings anywhere. Anyway, I definitely need to work on my emotional responses when I'm left out (no one knew I was upset but I did cry in private). But great thing is I experienced a great big trigger and I didn't even think about drinking. That is amazing. Off to bed. Lots of love to everyone xxxx