F.I.S.T. #3 (Insert Non-Acronymical Nonsense Expression)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Hi All,
I started this post yesterday but my internet went out as I was typing it so I saved it and went on with my day.
Recovery vs not-drinking....
This reminds me of an event that I have a vivid memory from that 11 year non-drinking stint that I had.
I'm having a really bad day at work - like eight years sober at the time, I sit back in my chair and look out the window of my office and say to myself, "Hey, SR Carlos (Matt), you quit drinking, you can handle anything."
Could I have been more full of ego? Could I have been less grateful for the gift of sobriety?
Today I feel gratitude for sobriety and view it as a gift, love that sober is synonymous with "we" in recovery...and embrace vulnerability. Very different than those simply non-drinking days.
Picking up from yesterday.....
FBL - hope you are enjoyed your family journey.
GG, that was a sweet post. I'm glad that your son spoke of who you are as his appreciation. Better still that it confirmed something that you work towards. Kudos!
Glee, I like way you said about the AA way of life:
It's teachings have given me the bullet points. Those before me have offered different paths that work for them. Not being a detailed person, if I read something that doesn't fit, I just move on rather that challenge. That beam has given me a life far beyond anything I could have dreamed was possible. Like GG's husband said...I'm glad I'm teachable and choosing to grow - holing on to that towel - even as an older dude.
Saturday morning I met JG's daughter for the first time. She's just home from college. She was an athlete so we met at my gym and she took cardio/strength and a yoga class with me. A cool way to bond - and JG wasn't even there. Then we three did the beach and a fun dinner/sunset. Yesterday we kayaked a beautiful protected river where Manatees thrive and spring fed coves are 72 degrees year-round. Pretty awesome time.
Back to the grind....work-gym-AA on Monday. Allows no time to drink or drug. Hope you all have a nice sober start to the week.
SR Carlos
I started this post yesterday but my internet went out as I was typing it so I saved it and went on with my day.
Originally Posted by Delizadee 
a guy who had gotten sober & clean and kept using it as an excuse to be a selfish jerk. His family member yelled at him, good job on accomplishing what the rest of the normal world does! (something to that effect.)
I think about that lots too. Not as a reason to guilt myself straight. It just keeps my ego in check. Which is something I need right now.
I think about that lots too. Not as a reason to guilt myself straight. It just keeps my ego in check. Which is something I need right now.
This reminds me of an event that I have a vivid memory from that 11 year non-drinking stint that I had.
I'm having a really bad day at work - like eight years sober at the time, I sit back in my chair and look out the window of my office and say to myself, "Hey, SR Carlos (Matt), you quit drinking, you can handle anything."
Could I have been more full of ego? Could I have been less grateful for the gift of sobriety?
Today I feel gratitude for sobriety and view it as a gift, love that sober is synonymous with "we" in recovery...and embrace vulnerability. Very different than those simply non-drinking days.
Picking up from yesterday.....
FBL - hope you are enjoyed your family journey.
GG, that was a sweet post. I'm glad that your son spoke of who you are as his appreciation. Better still that it confirmed something that you work towards. Kudos!
Glee, I like way you said about the AA way of life:
It's teachings have given me the bullet points. Those before me have offered different paths that work for them. Not being a detailed person, if I read something that doesn't fit, I just move on rather that challenge. That beam has given me a life far beyond anything I could have dreamed was possible. Like GG's husband said...I'm glad I'm teachable and choosing to grow - holing on to that towel - even as an older dude.
Saturday morning I met JG's daughter for the first time. She's just home from college. She was an athlete so we met at my gym and she took cardio/strength and a yoga class with me. A cool way to bond - and JG wasn't even there. Then we three did the beach and a fun dinner/sunset. Yesterday we kayaked a beautiful protected river where Manatees thrive and spring fed coves are 72 degrees year-round. Pretty awesome time.
Back to the grind....work-gym-AA on Monday. Allows no time to drink or drug. Hope you all have a nice sober start to the week.
SR Carlos
FBL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Tom! Nice seeing you!
Carlos - I think it's so cool that you and JG's daughter met over a workout. It sounds like things are off to a nice start.
Work was kind of stressful today, and I'm still kind of insecure about where I stand at work. Remembering that I only had to take it one day at a time allowed me the opportunit to unwind and shake off the day - rather than ruminating on it.
I hope everyone enjoyed a sober start to the week.
Carlos - I think it's so cool that you and JG's daughter met over a workout. It sounds like things are off to a nice start.
Work was kind of stressful today, and I'm still kind of insecure about where I stand at work. Remembering that I only had to take it one day at a time allowed me the opportunit to unwind and shake off the day - rather than ruminating on it.
I hope everyone enjoyed a sober start to the week.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Carlos -- good for you to have a good day with the New Jersey-ette.
Gleefan, I'm glad you were able to shake off any tendency to ruminate.
Sober & here*.
Gleefan, I'm glad you were able to shake off any tendency to ruminate.
Sober & here*.
Last edited by courage2; 05-22-2017 at 06:49 PM. Reason: *at least I think I'm here. Maybe not. That would explain a lot.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
Thanks guys!!! It's always good to see everyone here! I went to my old party place last night to help my friend repair his truck. Mixed feelings, he was drinking and smoking. I had a lot of black outs at this place. I took him to the auto parts store, stopped at the liquor store, no problem. He has a bar in his rec room/garage where we used to get hammered. I had to play the tape very little and I think I felt pretty good for the first time going around that environment.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Good stuff, Toml.
Life puts me in situations where drinking happens. At times it has been in old familiar territory. Honestly, not my fav places to be anymore....yet, today, I'm good at envisioning my last drink of a run - not that first one. Yet, I know that it's the first one that will ruin my life.
That's just today for me. If I stop doing the recovery work that vision will become cloudy.
Busy day that must begin now.
Oh, where the heck is DZ and badge?
Not drinking today.
Life puts me in situations where drinking happens. At times it has been in old familiar territory. Honestly, not my fav places to be anymore....yet, today, I'm good at envisioning my last drink of a run - not that first one. Yet, I know that it's the first one that will ruin my life.
That's just today for me. If I stop doing the recovery work that vision will become cloudy.
Busy day that must begin now.
Oh, where the heck is DZ and badge?
Not drinking today.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,181
Hi all!
Working crazy hours all week and have had no computer time to type. I do follow on my phone, but I can't one finger a reply on it.
Glad to see everyone making progress at the game of Life we each are living. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't stopped drinking two years ago. I know that it would not be a pretty sight.
Enjoy the day all!
Working crazy hours all week and have had no computer time to type. I do follow on my phone, but I can't one finger a reply on it.
Glad to see everyone making progress at the game of Life we each are living. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't stopped drinking two years ago. I know that it would not be a pretty sight.
Enjoy the day all!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Good story, tom! It sounds like you were happy to help a friend, and do it straight. In some ways, it makes everything easier, yes? You can help someone and go on your merry own way, without "enjoying" the shared experience of pouring alcohol into your giant hungry addiction and watching yourself get taken over by it. Shiver.
Dealing w/just a tiny wee bit of depression here. I told my shrink once about this feeling that comes over for a couple of weeks, every few months. He said it's the way depression feels when medication is successfully fighting it off. There was that one very "up" moment when I thought I could read (turns out no, not really), and then "thunk."
No hugs, please No risk of harm here -- the thought of using is rather revolting. This shall pass; it always does. Thanks to sobriety!
Dealing w/just a tiny wee bit of depression here. I told my shrink once about this feeling that comes over for a couple of weeks, every few months. He said it's the way depression feels when medication is successfully fighting it off. There was that one very "up" moment when I thought I could read (turns out no, not really), and then "thunk."
No hugs, please
No risk of harm here -- the thought of using is rather revolting. This shall pass; it always does. Thanks to sobriety!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,181
Very depressed today, too, Courage. After seeing the NYT's photos of the Manchester concert, I just sat down and cried. The terror in the eyes of the young children, mostly girls. I have an 11 yr old daughter and was thinking how random and perilous the world is. Had drinking thoughts for a bit, but wasn't worried about acting out on them. I have to remember that HALT applies to all, no matter how many days sober.
Some days it's just so hard squeezing out sparks of joy. Maybe working out and cranking out some laundry will improve my attitude. Give your loved ones a hug.
Some days it's just so hard squeezing out sparks of joy. Maybe working out and cranking out some laundry will improve my attitude. Give your loved ones a hug.
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