One Year & Over Part 43
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hello Overs,
Toots - Why aren't you on antidepressants for this SAD season? It pains me to think of you struggling when effective treatments are available.
Saskia - How are you holding up this SAD season?
Stargazer - I had no idea I was depressed til I stopped drinking long enough to realize I was.
I know we all have different approaches to recovery but I'll share that AA offered me true hope & genuine connection with others that I never expected - and not only with people in the program, but all areas of my life. It filled up the holes that depression & alienation bore into my psyche.
Toots - Why aren't you on antidepressants for this SAD season? It pains me to think of you struggling when effective treatments are available.
Saskia - How are you holding up this SAD season?
Stargazer - I had no idea I was depressed til I stopped drinking long enough to realize I was.
I know we all have different approaches to recovery but I'll share that AA offered me true hope & genuine connection with others that I never expected - and not only with people in the program, but all areas of my life. It filled up the holes that depression & alienation bore into my psyche.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,695
Hi overs
Wednesday has loomed upon us!
Toots, it can be depressing this time of year, as usual I call it the doldrums, dark mornings dark evenings , not good. I have to think of big pans of stews ( with dumplings) and coal fires and those big warm cosy soft socks for snuggling on the sofa. Aaah.
Star, what you said, I think it's got to be my greatest relief too!
"Of all the gifts that not drinking has brought me, not having to slog through every day excruciating minute to minute until I could begin drinking is the greatest".
Hope it's a well Wednesday overs.
Wednesday has loomed upon us!
Toots, it can be depressing this time of year, as usual I call it the doldrums, dark mornings dark evenings , not good. I have to think of big pans of stews ( with dumplings) and coal fires and those big warm cosy soft socks for snuggling on the sofa. Aaah.
Star, what you said, I think it's got to be my greatest relief too!
"Of all the gifts that not drinking has brought me, not having to slog through every day excruciating minute to minute until I could begin drinking is the greatest".
Hope it's a well Wednesday overs.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Star, glad I could be of some use!
I suffered from depression in my teens and early twenties due to specific circumstances in my life. Of course, then I self medicated, 'one didn't admit to being depressed, it showed weakness don't you know!'
I continued to self medicate through issues that I otherwise would have confronted and gotten past. Of course the alcohol continued my depressive state. On the face of it, I am happy and optimistic, it is my normal persona. But under the surface is a well of dark unhappiness that I have tried drinking, chemically medicating ( under supervision!) and counselling. I know where much of my unhappiness comes from, I understand it. I have brought it into the open and shook the cobwebs from it, alone and in counselling. But airing it doesn't make it go away, doesn't remove it. And medication merely pushes it back down until I stop taking the medication.
The first year I stopped drinking, I went through this projectile vomit of suppressed emotions from events dating back years that I had hidden from behind a bottle. Had I faced those issues at the time, I might well have less darkness under the surface. It is what it is. I don't want to hurt or kill myself, it has never been in my head to do that, though I have often thought no one would miss me if I went ( please, that is not a fishing expedition, I don't need validation. On one level I know I have made a difference by existing and I know I am loved by those who matter. ) I don't feel down all the time, I can be distracted by others.but writing that I know it isn't so much distraction as 'putting on a face'
Ach, others have it much worse, I'm not really complaining, just hoping to explain why I don't a,ways have it in me to give a flying f*^€ about anyone else when I am wallowing in my own morass. It is self absorbed and pitiful and I need to force myself to look outward.
Glee, don't worry, the reason I am not taking meds this year is because I've been off them since early in the year for the first time in too long. I really, really don't want to have to go back on them. Of course, if it reached a point I was struggling (rather than just having a pity party in my navel) I would seek the right help.
Others suffer far worse than me.
I suffered from depression in my teens and early twenties due to specific circumstances in my life. Of course, then I self medicated, 'one didn't admit to being depressed, it showed weakness don't you know!'
I continued to self medicate through issues that I otherwise would have confronted and gotten past. Of course the alcohol continued my depressive state. On the face of it, I am happy and optimistic, it is my normal persona. But under the surface is a well of dark unhappiness that I have tried drinking, chemically medicating ( under supervision!) and counselling. I know where much of my unhappiness comes from, I understand it. I have brought it into the open and shook the cobwebs from it, alone and in counselling. But airing it doesn't make it go away, doesn't remove it. And medication merely pushes it back down until I stop taking the medication.
The first year I stopped drinking, I went through this projectile vomit of suppressed emotions from events dating back years that I had hidden from behind a bottle. Had I faced those issues at the time, I might well have less darkness under the surface. It is what it is. I don't want to hurt or kill myself, it has never been in my head to do that, though I have often thought no one would miss me if I went ( please, that is not a fishing expedition, I don't need validation. On one level I know I have made a difference by existing and I know I am loved by those who matter. ) I don't feel down all the time, I can be distracted by others.but writing that I know it isn't so much distraction as 'putting on a face'
Ach, others have it much worse, I'm not really complaining, just hoping to explain why I don't a,ways have it in me to give a flying f*^€ about anyone else when I am wallowing in my own morass. It is self absorbed and pitiful and I need to force myself to look outward.
Glee, don't worry, the reason I am not taking meds this year is because I've been off them since early in the year for the first time in too long. I really, really don't want to have to go back on them. Of course, if it reached a point I was struggling (rather than just having a pity party in my navel) I would seek the right help.
Others suffer far worse than me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 1,629
Itchy,
Glad to hear the first one went very well. Hope your recovery from yesterday is going well also. I'm sure you'll be back home soon.
Rick,
Congratulations on three! I'm beginning to hate club soda too. Although not practical in a social environment (and this is the wrong time of year for it), blend up a watermelon and try that. So good! I'm roasting my own coffee beans now, so I can have a really excellent cup.
I could have never done a cruise ship. Too much temptation. I don't have to worry, because the wife doesn't do boats. I do have to go to a wedding next month though, but those don't bother me. Which reminds me, I need to get a new suit as I'm too fat to fit into the old one.
How are the grand kids? Mine are doing fine. As you may recall, they are twins. They went into first grade this year and are now in separate classrooms. They really needed that. They still think I'm a wonderful person and now scold me when I use bad words, like stupid! Hard not to use stupid these days.
Glad to hear the first one went very well. Hope your recovery from yesterday is going well also. I'm sure you'll be back home soon.
Rick,
Congratulations on three! I'm beginning to hate club soda too. Although not practical in a social environment (and this is the wrong time of year for it), blend up a watermelon and try that. So good! I'm roasting my own coffee beans now, so I can have a really excellent cup.
I could have never done a cruise ship. Too much temptation. I don't have to worry, because the wife doesn't do boats. I do have to go to a wedding next month though, but those don't bother me. Which reminds me, I need to get a new suit as I'm too fat to fit into the old one.
How are the grand kids? Mine are doing fine. As you may recall, they are twins. They went into first grade this year and are now in separate classrooms. They really needed that. They still think I'm a wonderful person and now scold me when I use bad words, like stupid! Hard not to use stupid these days.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm sorry you've had to suffer, Toots.
It grieves me to think about, because you are so unfailingly bright, brisk, and cheerful on here.
I hope this season is good and doesn't bring you any problems.
It grieves me to think about, because you are so unfailingly bright, brisk, and cheerful on here.
I hope this season is good and doesn't bring you any problems.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
So I talked to my mother last night for the first time in years. It was.....anticlimactic. She told me she loved me and hasn't called me because she thought I wanted nothing to do with her.....I didn't, but I never told her that I didn't want her to call me. My brother told her some crap apparently, which makes me angry, but anyway. It was a good talk, short and she said she's been missing me, she sounded genuinely glad to talk to me. It was good. She sounded older, and I guess in the last five years or so she's aged a lot, she's an old lady now. I'm glad we talked, and I think I'm finally ready to move on and get over the past.
Work is crazy right now, but I'm only on for another week, till the 23rd then I'm done that job.
There were so many silverfish in my room last night. It was so terrible. That's what you get when you live in an old building in this cold wet climate. Gross. Better than spiders though. I'll take them over spiders. Anyone who doesn't know what silverfish are, do yourself a favour and don't find out.
All the SAD sufferers, I'm with you. This whole city has a dark cloud over it from November to May, literally and figuratively. Sun lamps people!
Have a Hilarious Hump Day.
Work is crazy right now, but I'm only on for another week, till the 23rd then I'm done that job.
There were so many silverfish in my room last night. It was so terrible. That's what you get when you live in an old building in this cold wet climate. Gross. Better than spiders though. I'll take them over spiders. Anyone who doesn't know what silverfish are, do yourself a favour and don't find out.
All the SAD sufferers, I'm with you. This whole city has a dark cloud over it from November to May, literally and figuratively. Sun lamps people!
Have a Hilarious Hump Day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Originally Posted by gleefan 
It filled up the holes that depression & alienation bore into my psyche.
Glee, for me...early on, by some unknown miracle, I learned to quiet my racing thoughts in those AA rooms. Then, wonder of wonders, and totally out of the blue, this feeling of peace and serenity entered my life. So, there I was, 60 years old, and I was feeling peace and serenity for the first time in my life.
How is it even possible to repay that gift? I cannot. All I can do is pass on my experience, strength and hope.
Have a goot one, O's.
Carlos
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,187
Inpar, silverfish are so difficult to get rid of. I remember as a kid, my folks had to release a whole house smoke bomb type of insecticide to get rid of them. God knows what was in that. I do remember the family sitting outside watching smoke come out all of the upstair windows. No more silverfish though.
I went to college in a town that also was shrouded in clouds from November until early May. I could never live in a place like that today. It just mentally grinds down my spirit, even sober.
I always enjoy your positive approach to life Carlos!
Have a great day all!
I went to college in a town that also was shrouded in clouds from November until early May. I could never live in a place like that today. It just mentally grinds down my spirit, even sober.
I always enjoy your positive approach to life Carlos!
Have a great day all!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
((((hugs)))) Toots!
InPar - I hope the last few weeks of this job go as well as they can for you
I sent a little message to my housemates daughter and today received a thank-you, so all is good on that front
InPar - I hope the last few weeks of this job go as well as they can for you
I sent a little message to my housemates daughter and today received a thank-you, so all is good on that front
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Hey all great posts on music and the meaning of being a child of the 50s, a teen of the 60s, and starting my family in the 70s intentionally. All to the greatest Rockumentary of our lives and times reflected right back to us.
Toots,
Hope you can do well with some light in your life.
Thanks for all the well wishes. My 2nd lumbar surgery went well too. First night in years my legs were not pins and needles and shooting pains. The pain is gone when you wake up. Now this one hurts when I move wrong but again nothing worse that a racquetball cherry the next day on my back when it is sore the next day. Right now with my football cushion behind my back I feel no pain. It only hurts coughing and getting up and down. I'm wearing a back brace for two weeks, no biggie. If it lasts the rest of my life my risk of having two spinal surgeries within five days of each other turned out to be a great thing done. I'm sure they will.
I fly home noon tomorrow, they have wheelchairs and luggage assistance ready and that seems overkill only until I try getting up. I can, just carefully.
And no, I have taken nor have I needed pain narcotics. The Percocet bottle still has the seal unbroken. I was not allowed my 500mg Naprosyn and aspiring since five days before my fist surgery because they are also blood thinners. These Percocets are getting flushed when I get home. I can take my Naprosyn and aspirin tomorrow morning before I fly so I am really looking forward to that. But I'm not being a hero, the pain has not been more than a sprained ankle. You forget about until you move!
Goose! Long time no see! Thanks!
Thanks Sassy, Glee, FG and all the rest. I'm lazing for two weeks then starting my slow exercise regimen. I already have the work out building that's finished out and heated/air conditioned. A total gym, inversion machine, stationary bike, and real bike.
RZ,
Good gig! Enjoy, I always liked getting fed at them too.
Nite all.
Toots,
Hope you can do well with some light in your life.
Thanks for all the well wishes. My 2nd lumbar surgery went well too. First night in years my legs were not pins and needles and shooting pains. The pain is gone when you wake up. Now this one hurts when I move wrong but again nothing worse that a racquetball cherry the next day on my back when it is sore the next day. Right now with my football cushion behind my back I feel no pain. It only hurts coughing and getting up and down. I'm wearing a back brace for two weeks, no biggie. If it lasts the rest of my life my risk of having two spinal surgeries within five days of each other turned out to be a great thing done. I'm sure they will.
I fly home noon tomorrow, they have wheelchairs and luggage assistance ready and that seems overkill only until I try getting up. I can, just carefully.
And no, I have taken nor have I needed pain narcotics. The Percocet bottle still has the seal unbroken. I was not allowed my 500mg Naprosyn and aspiring since five days before my fist surgery because they are also blood thinners. These Percocets are getting flushed when I get home. I can take my Naprosyn and aspirin tomorrow morning before I fly so I am really looking forward to that. But I'm not being a hero, the pain has not been more than a sprained ankle. You forget about until you move!
Goose! Long time no see! Thanks!
Thanks Sassy, Glee, FG and all the rest. I'm lazing for two weeks then starting my slow exercise regimen. I already have the work out building that's finished out and heated/air conditioned. A total gym, inversion machine, stationary bike, and real bike.
RZ,
Good gig! Enjoy, I always liked getting fed at them too.
Nite all.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,695
Morning overs
Itchy, I'm pleased it all went well my friend. Have a good journey home tomorrow.
Toots, you got me thinking. My childhood was not good and my help to get me by was obsessive behaviour, something or other. Turning light switch 20'times, having to do things in an orderly fashion as instructed by my brain.
I still have this obsessive behaviour but not as bad but alcohol certainly made me feel happy and to leave my problems behind, for a very short time, albeit and falsely, we all know that.
But it is refreshing knowing I'm not going to turn to alcohol because there's maybe a blip in my life today or whatever reason.
Like you, we had the stiff upper lip, didn't show depression or anything that may be deemed a weakness. Makes me wonder what happened to our parents growing up too.
Hope it's a good Thursday for everyone. I've been looking at Christmas trees, artificial one's are so realistic and some are so bad, too!
Itchy, I'm pleased it all went well my friend. Have a good journey home tomorrow.
Toots, you got me thinking. My childhood was not good and my help to get me by was obsessive behaviour, something or other. Turning light switch 20'times, having to do things in an orderly fashion as instructed by my brain.
I still have this obsessive behaviour but not as bad but alcohol certainly made me feel happy and to leave my problems behind, for a very short time, albeit and falsely, we all know that.
But it is refreshing knowing I'm not going to turn to alcohol because there's maybe a blip in my life today or whatever reason.
Like you, we had the stiff upper lip, didn't show depression or anything that may be deemed a weakness. Makes me wonder what happened to our parents growing up too.
Hope it's a good Thursday for everyone. I've been looking at Christmas trees, artificial one's are so realistic and some are so bad, too!
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